Post by Karel on Nov 5, 2007 16:22:03 GMT -8
It was life. A person can never get to fully know another - and while he could of sworn to himself countless times that he meant it, he knew that the fear he had at one point imposed on Rasha was one which halted her from ever seeing him in that light again. Was she like Chihiro? Someone who saw him as a monster? He couldn't blame her. He wouldn't. To him, it was all his fault - her insecurity, her loss of strength, his loss of control, his denial of his own inner consciousness and worst of all his inability to protect her - from himself.
But that's the way he was.
When he received and order, he would perform it - without hesitation and without reserve. If she had doubted him, then she was free to doubt him... but it came back, hurting him at all the wrong times. A ghost had since followed him in all the dark places in life - the places his pathetic being was worthy of walking. He wanted so much to replay that scene on that night, a few weeks ago. The time where he could go up to her, turn around and greeted her with his lips just straight and out of the blue.
But in the present, she had allowed him to lead once more. Just as well, for his strength had left him... the only thing keeping him moving now was that it would have taken more energy to simply fall. It was odd - but that was just an excuse... the real reason was that he needed to get her somewhere safe and out of the rain. And as they stopped in front of the workshop, a few stairs - 4 by his count, greeted them. The cement was still dry as the roof overhead had stopped the angled rain - the only few drops that went through were carried by the fiercest of winds.
With a single hand he reached into his pocket - a keyring with two keys attached to it. He searched out Rasha's hands and placed it over her thumb before he collapsed - on his side with his head resting against the top stair, his feet still in the rain.
"I won't ask you to forgive me."
His voice, raspy as it was was now a new level of dry. He wanted to cough, but knew it would draw blood.
"... if, if you're still uncertain... then..."
... he was too tired. He couldn't continue. His eyes lost their color - like he was asleep, yet his eyes were still open. His breathing slowed, and his heart almost stopped. But he had done what he had set out to do... and now Rasha was here, safe from the weather.
But that's the way he was.
When he received and order, he would perform it - without hesitation and without reserve. If she had doubted him, then she was free to doubt him... but it came back, hurting him at all the wrong times. A ghost had since followed him in all the dark places in life - the places his pathetic being was worthy of walking. He wanted so much to replay that scene on that night, a few weeks ago. The time where he could go up to her, turn around and greeted her with his lips just straight and out of the blue.
But in the present, she had allowed him to lead once more. Just as well, for his strength had left him... the only thing keeping him moving now was that it would have taken more energy to simply fall. It was odd - but that was just an excuse... the real reason was that he needed to get her somewhere safe and out of the rain. And as they stopped in front of the workshop, a few stairs - 4 by his count, greeted them. The cement was still dry as the roof overhead had stopped the angled rain - the only few drops that went through were carried by the fiercest of winds.
With a single hand he reached into his pocket - a keyring with two keys attached to it. He searched out Rasha's hands and placed it over her thumb before he collapsed - on his side with his head resting against the top stair, his feet still in the rain.
"I won't ask you to forgive me."
His voice, raspy as it was was now a new level of dry. He wanted to cough, but knew it would draw blood.
"... if, if you're still uncertain... then..."
... he was too tired. He couldn't continue. His eyes lost their color - like he was asleep, yet his eyes were still open. His breathing slowed, and his heart almost stopped. But he had done what he had set out to do... and now Rasha was here, safe from the weather.
