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Post by Stevie-Rae on Dec 20, 2020 18:59:25 GMT -8
Stevie watched with horror filled eyes as the flask tipped over the sink. She felt absolutely helpless until she gripped the stove handle. Anger suddenly flooding her earlier despair. The liquid stopped pouring almost as soon as it had started. The contents that had no reached the sink gently flowed back into the container and stayed there. Stevie's head swam with dizziness. She didn't used to get dizzy before. She also hadn't used her qi this much since she came over here months ago. She leaned against the stove for support and the jack ran into the sink. Stevie's shoulders sagged and she turned around and took the pancake out of the pan and began pouring another.
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Post by WR Harthe on Dec 20, 2020 19:25:12 GMT -8
WR would slam the flask on the counter to further emphasize their point, although Stevie's reaction surprised them. They half expected her to attack them, which they had a plan for if she did. They would tilt their head as Stevie turned back toward the stove without a word. She didn't have anything to say? Not a single thing? It was possible she was just trying not to curse them out, so WR would remain quiet for the time being.
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Post by Stevie-Rae on Dec 20, 2020 19:58:18 GMT -8
"You must think I am stronger than I really am."
It wasn't loud. Just audible above the searing of the pan. Stevie reached over and plucked out the waffle from the iron and added another there too. She then stirred the eggs a bit. They were about half done.
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Post by WR Harthe on Dec 21, 2020 11:24:02 GMT -8
"No, I think you're stronger than you think you are. Strength isn't something you have to gain, it's something inside you waiting to be embraced. You just have to train and discipline yourself to manifest it. At least, that's what Leon taught me." They would shrug.
"If you can clean yourself up, you can do just about anything. Breaking an addiction is one of the hardest things you can do, fucking believe me on that. And hey, letting me help you is taking the first step." They started to add something else, but bit their tongue. It was too early for that.
Honestly, it felt weird being in Leon's shoes. Was it even comparable? They were, in their own ways, life coaches. WR would shrug again.
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Post by Stevie-Rae on Dec 21, 2020 12:45:02 GMT -8
Stevie let the tears leak down her face as she finished cooking, careful not to contaminate the food with them. Finally she finished and brought the items to the table. She searched around the kitchen looking for some kind of syrup before finally just settling with butter and sugar. Same thing, right? She fished out some salsa for the eggs and salt n pepper and placed them all on the table. She got two cups and filled one with milk and looked at WR is a 'whaddya want' sort of way.
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Post by WR Harthe on Dec 21, 2020 13:06:19 GMT -8
Stevie's tears certainly wouldn't go unnoticed. WR would silently help her move everything to the table, including the syrup that she couldn't find. When offered a drink, they would just politely pluck the cup from her hands and fill it up with water before setting it down on their side of the table. Once Stevie herself was situated, WR would fetch a few napkins and set them in front of her after lightly wiping underneath her eyes with one, if she would let them.
Then they would take a seat.
"I wanna hear what's on your mind. Whether it's rational, irrational, a top secret plan to kill me in my sleep, whatever. I wanna hear it." They would say, piercing into her soul with their eyes before taking a bite of one of the pancakes.
They would nod as they chewed.
"It's good."
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Post by Stevie-Rae on Dec 21, 2020 13:14:59 GMT -8
Stevie gave a weak smile when WR found the syrup. She allowed them to wipe her tears and sighed a breath of relief before sucking in a breath in embarrassment.
"Currently, it's I haven't brushed my teeth in a few months and my breath must be kicking."
She give another smile, this one less weak.
"I'm thinking I can't face the nightmares. I'm thinking I'm not strong enough to endure watching him die again and again. I can't stand the one where I'm holding the gun. Where he reaches for me just before he crumbles. Where he whispers my name. And I know it's my fault. I'm thinking I'm terrified., WR. And I can't stand it."
Suddenly she wasn't hungry.
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Post by WR Harthe on Dec 21, 2020 13:28:32 GMT -8
WR would just gaze at her empathetically as she spoke. This was likely going to completely crush her mood today, but that was fine. It was going to be slow progress, and that was also fine. This was a fragile situation.
They would first address the toothbrush issue, which might have been a coping mechanism for what came after, but they felt it appropriate anyway. "Anything you need I can provide, no biggie. Just remember what I said." They would quickly throw in before addressing the more pressing matter.
"Unfortunately, that's part of the process. You can't heal and move on if your body and soul haven't grieved yet. I don't need to look at you twice to tell you're a prideful woman. You think being vulnerable is a weakness, and it's not. Being vulnerable lets you open up yourself and grow in ways you didn't know you could. But like everything in this shitty world, it's not free, and you're gonna have to hurt to get there." They would pause briefly to take a drink of water.
"But, it's not your fault. I can tell you a million fucking times and you'll never believe me, but it's not. No one expected what happened, and no one could have stopped it. Those who tried, well..." They would trail off for a moment.
"So those dreams... they're gonna hurt. You're gonna have waking nightmares and you're gonna cry your fucking eyes out. And when that happens, I'll be here, and we can talk about them, or hug it out or whatever. Eventually it gets easier, but you gotta start somewhere. Just know, it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel. It's okay to be weak sometimes, because exploiting and overcoming your weaknesses makes you stronger in the end."
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Post by Stevie-Rae on Dec 27, 2020 20:02:22 GMT -8
Stevie stared at her plate for a long moment and let WR's words sink in. She hated that WR was right. She hated it more than she could stand to think right now. It wasn't WR's fault though. It was Stevie's. And she was pretty sure WR knew that too. Didn't they? She closed her eyes and whispered to her waffles.
"It's my fault he died like he did. I should have helped out. But I didn't. I wasn't there when he needed me. I was off trying to claim some glory for no purpose other than sex appeal. Maybe if I wasn't so fucking selfish... Maybe he'd still be around if I..."
She couldn't finish. Stevie opened her eyes to find them awash with tears again and blinked them away, not even worrying about the tears on her face. She picked up the milk and drank it quickly. Too quickly. She had gotten herself way too drunk last night and not gotten any of it out of her system. And now she had mixed it with whole milk. Great job Stevie. She leapt from her seat and raced for the bathroom. This exit strategy was not planned. Stevie hated throwing up almost as much as her nightmares.
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Post by WR Harthe on Dec 28, 2020 9:28:28 GMT -8
WR continued their empathetic gaze, resting their chin on their palm while they listened to Stevie speak.
"Mistakes are expected. They're part of life. Whether you learn or wallow in them is up to you." They shrugged. It was a blunt truth, but it was one they had to force into her head if they were gonna make this work. Helping prideful people... was the worst, and they knew that from experience, memories of their training flashing in their eyes.
As soon as WR stood to comfort Stevie and wipe her tears away, she had ran off to... somewhere. Probably the bathroom. They waddled to the start of the hallway, watched the door slam shut, and sighed. It was going to be a long day.
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Post by Stevie-Rae on Dec 29, 2020 12:10:47 GMT -8
Stevie coughed into the toilet and wiped her mouth with a few squares of toilet paper. Ugh. Throwing up just might be the worst. Right now. Stevie couldn't really think of much worse than this. She flushed the toilet and sat back on her butt, pulling her knees up to rest her head. She sighed. Is this what today had to bring?
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Post by WR Harthe on Dec 29, 2020 20:31:20 GMT -8
WR approached the door but would give Stevie her privacy. They decided to stand by just in case she needed something.
"You good? You need anything, or?" They called through the door with a brow raised. They were sure she was fine, but it didn't hurt to check.
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Post by Stevie-Rae on Dec 29, 2020 22:31:14 GMT -8
Stevie chuckled once.
"How about a toothbrush and toothpaste?"
She didn't expect them to have it but still.
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Post by WR Harthe on Dec 29, 2020 22:32:51 GMT -8
WR rolled their eyes and smiled. Right. The toothbrush.
"Yeah, I might have an extra but you're gonna have to look for it cause I don't have another bathroom." They called again, then added "Toothpaste is on the counter though.".
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Post by Stevie-Rae on Dec 29, 2020 22:38:10 GMT -8
Stevie crawled to the sink and began rummaging. She did fine one. It didn't look used. Stevie sighed a breath of relief. She did feel a little bad for looking through WR's stuff. She brushed her teeth and then came out.
"Uh, thanks."
Her stomach rumbled. Maybe food was a better idea now.
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