Geovanni
Trainee
The potatoes are onto us man.
Posts: 8
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Post by Geovanni on Dec 12, 2008 23:50:54 GMT -8
This just in. Two people have been arrested after what they refer to as "Joyride" trough a highly populated city. Having loaded up on Cough syrup, pepto bismal and peppermint schnapps, the culprits stole a segway and tied it to the back of a convertible and attacked children with a whiffleball bat in a drive-by like manner. While there were no fatalities, the children were left with multiple circular red marks on their bodies from the impact of the whiffle bat.
The culprits went on to a convenience store and robbed them of all their toothpaste. Petroleum jelly, and snickers bars before urinating in the cash register without removing the money. by the time the police arrived at both scenes the culprits had departed.
Another call came in with a report of the culprits dragging a large burlap sack down the sidewalk while hitting the contents with a stick. The contents were later revealed to be lawn gnomes covered in thousand island dressing and chocolate syrup. Once again the culprits were gone before the police arrived.
The next recorded act took place two hours after the gnome incident and they were reported nailing cooked lobsters to people's front doors before shooting roman candles at an old woman walking down the street. The police almost were able to apprehend the culprits thought they were thwarted as an albino python was thrown their way by a passing mime who was disgruntled after he had been arrested for loitering.
The culprits were finally apprehended after they were discovered attempting to lick the feet of random passerby in front of city hall and insulting the howler monkeys strapped to their backs.
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Aureus
Veteran
Ghost[M:8240]
Here's to the memory, but if it's not killing me, it doesn't bother me
Posts: 937
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Post by Aureus on Dec 13, 2008 0:24:50 GMT -8
That was very creative, not to mention entertaining, kudos.
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Geovanni
Trainee
The potatoes are onto us man.
Posts: 8
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Post by Geovanni on Dec 13, 2008 0:25:27 GMT -8
Thanks. And that was from a sober me. I'll get one up later when I get really creative.
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Post by olesya on Dec 13, 2008 5:18:49 GMT -8
Dude.
The ESci exam, took me like....10-15 minutes. Tops.
And I even think I got the part I BSed right.
And he said we'd have our grades up by noon today. Im only waiting on 3 more. So far I've got a solid 3.14 ^^ Not bad.
So for right now, IM GOING BACK TO BED. PFT.
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Post by Mitsuki Park on Dec 13, 2008 9:06:31 GMT -8
I'm at my friend's house~
LALALALALALA~
:)
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Post by David B. on Dec 13, 2008 9:14:13 GMT -8
haha geovanni...
i laughed-dont know why- for SO long at your story...it entertained me lol
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Post by olesya on Dec 13, 2008 10:06:29 GMT -8
*tackles Phishy* RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR! <4
I just found your letter today O___O I wrote it like a monf ago. So I'ma send it today <<
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Post by Stu Pott on Dec 13, 2008 10:08:36 GMT -8
O__O
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Aureus
Veteran
Ghost[M:8240]
Here's to the memory, but if it's not killing me, it doesn't bother me
Posts: 937
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Post by Aureus on Dec 13, 2008 12:01:42 GMT -8
ROBERT PATTINSON
So, the next generation of young women are currently flocking to see a female lead starring in a movie by a female director based on a bestselling book by a female author, and in this movie the main character wants to become completely submissive and self-sacrificing for a male.
KRISTEN STEWART
I love you. Put a baby in me.
ROBERT PATTINSON
At least the other three books can't possibly be more misogynistic and depressing.
They ARE.
END
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Post by Stu Pott on Dec 13, 2008 12:32:21 GMT -8
Yay Cracked.com!
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Aureus
Veteran
Ghost[M:8240]
Here's to the memory, but if it's not killing me, it doesn't bother me
Posts: 937
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Post by Aureus on Dec 13, 2008 12:47:09 GMT -8
Guess who failed his Design final?! High five!
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Post by Your Mom~ on Dec 13, 2008 12:54:53 GMT -8
=D!? CONGRATS ALAN! I'LL BE SURE TO JOIN THE FAIL TRAIN SOON ENOUGH! ...As for this time of year, and the recent release of teh Goddamned Batman and his Goddamned movie...  |
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Aureus
Veteran
Ghost[M:8240]
Here's to the memory, but if it's not killing me, it doesn't bother me
Posts: 937
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Post by Aureus on Dec 13, 2008 13:00:26 GMT -8
I just don't wanna lose my grants and have to drop out. Hopefully next semester will be bettar.
And that pic never gets old...
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Geovanni
Trainee
The potatoes are onto us man.
Posts: 8
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Post by Geovanni on Dec 13, 2008 13:15:47 GMT -8
Welcome back, Yet another news flash from the world around us. Early this Saturday morning a Man riding an elephant through town crashed through the front of a local mall. Only one fatality (A blind and deaf man opening the door) was recorded. The man was reported to have been carrying a bag of chickens and throwing them at people while the covering them in chicken feed. In sports there was a small dispute between the batter and the umpire in a major baseball game. Details are sketchy, but it is confirmed that surgery will be required to remove the bat. And our top story tonight. This warning has been giving for a while but widely ignored. The squirrel population has decreased shockingly recently while foraging for nuts. Investigators have been on the case but until recently there has been no clues as the reason behind this. Until today that is. You viewers will be among the first to learn of the threat facing the squirrels and the entire world.  This photo was developed from the film in a camera next to a corpse of a person who was found with many cauterized cuts on their body. Yes the raccoons have made lightsabers and are starting to use them against others. It is only a matter of time before this threat spreads to other species and all the way up to us humans. Please report any raccoon activity in your area and make sure to stay indoor at night, The proper authorities are developing a strategy to counter this terrible threat. |
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Post by Stu Pott on Dec 13, 2008 13:17:58 GMT -8
And LICD strikes again.
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