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Post by seishounohana on Oct 25, 2009 7:22:38 GMT -8
Emily had once been known to be a woman who had no enemies, no preference of character nor bias for anyone. She was a fair person who held love and acceptance before her morals; somewhat borderline Mary Sue. But then again, through the course of time, Emily would have discovered just how much of a chance she had gone through in her years in the Public Education System.
She remembered herself to be very stoic and impersonal; but look at her now: she was, of all people, very social, and apparently still the type who holds her morals close to her.
There were few who probably were close to this sort of personality, and even few who were "worse" than she ever was.
Take note, she had never met Saint before, and if she did, it probably was a long, long time ago.
Well, all that was gonna change. With Emily balancing herself on the half-walls that the old steel walls used to be. She just loved the roof because it was colder than everywhere else. Considering Emily's above normal temperatures and physiology, this was comfort already.
Now, someone who may be looking up from anywhere may think she was gonna try to jump.
Just another suicidal teenager?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2009 14:42:53 GMT -8
Of course given the way Emily was and what most people knew or thought of Zachariah’s personality, they would expect him to burst onto the roof screaming for her not to jump. That wasn’t going to happen much to the chagrin of those of might find such a sight entertaining. Slowly Zachariah strode through the door that lead to the school’s roof with the usual sounds of the squeaking door and the sounds of his shoes on the roof to almost announce his arrival. He made his way over to where the girl was sitting without much haste. Was there a possibility of her being a jumper? Sure, but his rushing over in a frantic fashion wouldn’t help anything in such a situation. If that was the case he needed to be a calm, stabilizing force.
Zachariah propped him on the wall besides her but still with some distance as to not crowd her space, should she need it. He gave a quick sigh before looking over the view, it served as a small reminder that some students came up here to enjoy the view and de-stress. After a short moment, he turned with a small smile and inquisitive tone.
“Feeding the birds?”
It was a small little quip about how she was sitting and what she might be doing. No, he wasn’t asking if she was actually feeding any birds because she obviously wasn’t, but to say that she was sitting up here and obviously thinking about something. Birds of thought, sort of speak, though she might not get the metaphor as it was a very vague one. Still he would do his best to be as friendly as possible.
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Post by seishounohana on Oct 26, 2009 10:04:08 GMT -8
In her thoughts, Emily barely noticed Saint's entry. Even if she did, she wouldn't really mind considering that there was little or nothing at all to hide. Though, he did catch her attention when he finally spoke.
“Feeding the birds?”
Emily's head turned around, looking at the familiar young man. She could've sworn she'd seen him before - right, that time when Mathew challenged him and "Unfettered" got involved. Yeah, that was when the Dragons took them all down one by one.
She didn't remember his name though, nor was she able to observe what Saint was like; all she knew was that he was a former pillar. That was it.
"You can call it that." She said, her gaze returning to the skies for a moment before looking back. "Um, is this your usual spot? I could go find another building to unwind on." she stepped down from the half wall, smiling.
Emily really didn't have any idea why Saint was here in the first place though, but company was good.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2009 14:39:52 GMT -8
Zachariah was glad that she wasn’t freaking out or anything, which of course meant that she was here to unwind and not jump. Good thing he didn’t run out here screaming and make himself look silly, though many student would say his nice attitudes do enough of that already. He shook his head slightly in response to her question if this was his ‘spot’.
“No, it’s fine. My ‘spot’ is way over there.”
With his hand, Zachariah made a simple pointing gesture toward the hill just off the rear side of campus where there was a small grouping of trees, his mulberry tree being the closest.
“I just saw you up here and figured that you might like some company while thinking over whatever it is you are thinking about.”
Zachariah smiled lightly as he spoke to show his sincerity. He was always looking to help people in any way possible, even with the most trivial of issues. It had almost become like his job at the school, student guidance counselor of sorts. He would give her time to speak whatever was on her mind, if she was going to choose to, as he never liked to pry too much into people’s personal matter. It was much better than they sought him out and opened up freely, though many were programmed by this place to never do such a thing. He often hoped his mannerisms would counteract that.
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Post by seishounohana on Oct 29, 2009 13:20:51 GMT -8
“No, it’s fine. My ‘spot’ is way over there.” Emily blinked, her gaze shifting onto where Saint pointed out. Apparently it looked to be just as quiet and secluded, just a different view she supposed.
"I see."
“I just saw you up here and figured that you might like some company while thinking over whatever it is you are thinking about.”
Looking at him, she grinned and crossed her arms while staring at the sky. "Do... you think it's wrong to try and change something that already works?" She inquired, "Like... If it is about yourself, perhaps. Like you know that you've been too passive to the point that it suddenly destroys you and you doubt your capability to stay a good person in the eyes of God, of man, and of your own?"
She kept her mind wandering. "Is it right to fear becoming the monster that everyone else you know has slowly started to become?" If Saint's eyes have been wandering, he would notice that at this point, Emily's hands would be pulling on the cloth of her gloves, obviously controlling her own emotions.
There were many things that had to be fixed; especially in the days to come where she would be tested.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2009 16:26:58 GMT -8
Zachariah watched this girl as she spoke what was on her mind, a serious of heavy questions that were deep laden with a philosophic content. Right up his alley really. He watched and waited for her to vent all of her question before venturing an answering, mentally noting the movement of her hands. It was difficult to answer, more so if he tried to give her the answer she wanted to hear. Alas this would be another time when he could only give an answer… and not necessarily comfort. He sighed lightly shifting his gaze outward.
“Hmm… that’s hard to say.”
He was buying a bit of time to think over how to word his response.
“Right and wrong are words that we give meaning to in order to give us guidance in life. They change from culture to culture and person to person. Focusing to much on right and wrong, black and white, you lose sight of the grey that makes up much of life.”
It wasn’t really the heart of his answer but a basis that he let sit for a moment.
“All you can do in life is find a bit of happiness to cling to and make sure that when you leave that the world is no worse for having you. You don’t have to change the world. They say that ‘all it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing’, but they never say what action to take. Violence often only begets violence, force against force and in the end only ruin is left. Taking no action is better than taking the wrong action. That is what creates monsters”
Zachariah finished with another sigh. It may not have been what she wanted to here and perhaps he could have been more specific about her rule within the school, whatever it may be. It was better to be vague and let people make their own connections and deductions, rather than tell them exactly what to do.
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Post by seishounohana on Nov 1, 2009 7:47:21 GMT -8
Yup. Those weren't things that she had hoped to hear - or at least those weren't things that more or less provided her into some direct insight onto her own situation of confusion. It was true though - what's considered right or wrong varies with different people, different cultures, and different walks of life.
Still, with that understanding - that was still not much of any use.
In the back of Emily's mind there was still the thought that it was basically humanity's excuse for continuing to do things that she considered to be wrong.
Well, she would be guilty of whatever charges pressed at her for being human - at least, in her character, she was well aware of her weaknesses.
“All you can do in life is find a bit of happiness to cling to and make sure that when you leave that the world is no worse for having you. You don’t have to change the world. They say that ‘all it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing’, but they never say what action to take. Violence often only begets violence, force against force and in the end only ruin is left. Taking no action is better than taking the wrong action. That is what creates monsters”
Emily's eyes closed as her mind flowed with more thoughts. This young man seemed to be akin to one who was probably even more passive than herself.
But in the end - God himself was a strong enforcer of force. Did he not murder millions to "purify" the human race with the great flood? Did he not allow demons to wreak havoc on his prophets' lives?
Does that make him, or her, an evil God?
"In the Catholic belief, there are two types of sins." She started, "Commission is when you do something that you do, and Omission is when you don't do anything at all."
Her emerald eyes would meet Saint's, in mild hopes that he didn't take her philosophizing back as negating his own ideas, but more or less broadening the discussion with her own beliefs. Of course, though - it wasn't as if Saint knew that. "Wouldn't doing nothing be the greater sin?" she wondered out loud, as she looked out into the horizon again. "Violence does beget violence, and evil does encourage more evil... but..."
She trailed off, taking something from her pocket and popping it quickly into her mouth. It was a small, clear capsule with shimmering gold powder inside. Again, this girl was dependent on them to keep her mind working the way that it should.
...
"Isn't... "finding your own happiness" a little selfish?"
...
"Wouldn't doing nothing for the world do a lot worse more than good?"
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Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2009 16:11:22 GMT -8
Zachariah nodded in acknowledgement of her points, being very well of Catholic Dogma during his religious studies for fun. It was a valid stance to take in many ways, but he wasn’t about to get caught in a religious debate nor did he believe that was what she wanted. That was part of the fueling to his studies, to embrace all viewpoints and formulate his own world view. He noted the pill she took as he prepared to organize his response. There was one well known quote that he wished to interject at this point since Christianity had been brought up as part of a point, his voice remained the same pleasant even keel.
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions…”
It was a commonly known quote that was often used by parents to scold kids who did something bad while trying to do something good. He continued with a more… storied approach deciding to narrow in on what he thought was what she was worried about.
“… in most stories where a heroic knight slays the evil monster the hero is left covered in the monster’s blood, do you know why… not as some show of victory but to show the hero’s sacrifice. All along the journey they give up what the commoners they are protecting cling to and in the end achieve final victory. Standing their, covered in the monster’s blood there is a realization. In striving so long to destroy this monster they have tainted themselves and, in part, become just like the monster they destroy.”
Another philosophic and probably unhelpful answer though he would continue to clarify.
“Take this system, for example. To truly destroy it, you would pretty much have to become evil itself. The students are offered a Republic and respond by attacking the one offering it. They all claim to hate the system and wish to destroy, but all they do is propagate it with unguided and pointless violence. In truth… they got exactly what they wanted, they just don’t consciously know it.”
He heaved a heavy sigh turning back to gaze down at the students below. Many of his words seemed harsh… because they were. He had changed.
“Perhaps finding your own happiness is selfish… but it is your life. Possibly the only one you’ll ever have and it should be enjoyed. Giving away everything you are and ever will be to save those that show no signs of wanting to be saved is noble… but foolish in its own right. Find your happiness and then, if you can’t live without trying to help somehow… make the world 1% better. If more people did that then before long the world would be 100% percent better.”
Zachariah gave a small gentle smile, though it should be made clear that he only knew that Gabriel’s offering had not been received well and nothing more. Really there was part of him that tired of seeing so many trying to change what would probably never change. The system as they knew it wasn’t a single solitary target to be stopped but a structure of interchangeable pieces that would continue on regardless of what was removed, all were easily replaced.
… the Patriots…
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Post by seishounohana on Nov 6, 2009 2:03:48 GMT -8
Emily paid attention of course, even all throughout the young man's little pep-talk. He brought up interesting points; and Emily wasn't exactly very interested in arguing things, but these were things that Emily needs to think about regardless.
Especially with everything going on around her, and with everything seemingly closing in on her all at once...
...
“Take this system, for example. To truly destroy it, you would pretty much have to become evil itself. The students are offered a Republic and respond by attacking the one offering it. They all claim to hate the system and wish to destroy, but all they do is propagate it with unguided and pointless violence. In truth… they got exactly what they wanted, they just don’t consciously know it.”
"True." She said. Emily could admit, she did leave that assembly. It was for the reason that she did not trust the one who proposed it. She had doubts in his real agenda, which of course - more or less is probably an issue with him that she could share with most people around here.
“Perhaps finding your own happiness is selfish… but it is your life. Possibly the only one you’ll ever have and it should be enjoyed. Giving away everything you are and ever will be to save those that show no signs of wanting to be saved is noble… but foolish in its own right. Find your happiness and then, if you can’t live without trying to help somehow… make the world 1% better. If more people did that then before long the world would be 100% percent better.”
Emily smiled a bit. Though...
"... What about if... seeking your happiness only brings forth more sorrow?" She said, "What do you do about a bad lemon whose existence seems to just bring more and more bad luck?"
...
Yeah...
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2009 13:52:42 GMT -8
True… when given that situation Zachariah’s whole philosophy seemed to start to crumble. If someone was truly a bad person and found joy in the suffering of others then them finding happiness was counterproductive to the betterment of the world. He tried to believe that people were genuinely good and only corrupted in some way by their surroundings however there were too many that seemed to prove the opposite, even just around the school between those in it and those attacking it. It was a troubling question that, this time, he would skate around to avoid having to answer. Zachariah offered a smile as he turned to the girl.
“I have faith that you are not such a person.”
It was true. Zachariah reasoned that if she was she really wouldn’t care, even in a conversation such as this, whether or not the world got any better. Though there often were people who thought of doing bad things as making the world better, she didn’t seem to give off the megalomaniacal vibe. He was always the chance of him being wrong but he felt confident in his initial reads of this woman.
Without another word Zachariah turned toward the school-scape with a smile, one that held no certain happiness but no certain sadness but an equilibrium. Slowly his bright blue eyes shifted to the horizon before them. The conundrum of what to do with a genuinely bad person still weighing on his thoughts despite having, hopefully, skated around answering the question. He was never one to support violence, but the Gods had shown him that often there was no other way unfortunately… perhaps he could just hope that when such a person needed to be dealt with… that he didn’t have to. That was probably made him such a poor pillar.
{OoC: Sorry about the delay}
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Post by seishounohana on Nov 17, 2009 9:53:59 GMT -8
“I have faith that you are not such a person.” Emily smiled and gave a quiet chuckle. Oh, how she wished that was true. Though, the patterns of her life were quite predictable in itself - she would be made to do considerable amounts of responsibilities with heaploads of sacrifices as a requirement.
Never really pursuing what she really wanted...
...
No one really gets what they truly want, do they?
"We'll see, perhaps." She said, her gaze straying from the crimson landscape and smiling at the ex-pillar. "Thanks for the chat. It was nice."
...
"I have to go to work, but maybe we can have another talk one of these days?" She suggested. "The name's Emily, by the way."
With another grin, she would then start for the door - thoughts already settled, at least somewhat feeling better than she did before this.
For now, she went on her way to work.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2009 14:38:12 GMT -8
Zachariah turned at the sound of the chuckle, a small grin of his face. It was easy to assume someone laughing at such a statement was laughing because it was completely untrue, however he chose not to jump to such a conclusion. Granted that taking such a leap of faith in a place like this was foolish, but someone needed to believe. Anyway, Zachariah would merely smiled and nod in friendly acknowledgement to her as such a conversation was no problem to him, in fact it was quite a pleasure.
“Very well, Emily. My name is Zachariah… if you wish to speak again merely seek me out. I’m not hard to find.”
Zachariah had no intention of keeping her from what she needed to do so simply introducing himself and reassuring that he would be around should she ever need him, or just someone to listen, that he would be there. It was what he was here for…
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