Lost in thought (Serenity/Open)

[Mitsukai]

Mitsukai had wandered up once again to the rooftop during lunch to find some peace and quiet. It was nice out again today, bright and clear in contrast to the girl's dark and confused mind. A lot had happened recently and she didn't know how to deal with it all.

First there was the sudden disappearance of Katsuri, that had affected everyone. There was no doubt in her mind the hell that Kevala must be going through with the loss of the father of her children, but she was not the only one that felt hurt by it. Katsuri had been Mitsukai's instructor, he had dragged her out of the hell she was going through with her own family and had promised her that he would make her stronger. For what ever reason whether by his own free will or otherwise that man was gone. Leaving her behind without doing anything, and that hurt. She felt abandoned and betrayed and she didn't know why it was hurting so much. She was the last person to be feeling anything about that now.

Then there was the issue with Gabriel to deal with. Originally Mitsukai had planned to confront the man about what he had done to Kevala when she was pregnant that night when she came home torn up and bleeding. Willing to risk getting hurt just so she could stand up for the girl who couldn't have done so at the time. But things didn't go as planned, instead he had offered her a place by his side in the master plan he was stirring up. Whatever that plan may be. She was unsure what to do, if she should even trust him to keep his word. The last person she trusted had left her and everyone else that cared about him. She didn't want the same thing to happen twice. Nor did she think that Gabriel would not just simply use her and toss her aside once she was no longer of use to him.....she didn't even know what use she could be to anyone....she was weak....pathetic.....not worth the time....

She had told no one about what had happened that night. Keeping up a strong enough facade when around Kevala and Drea who might try to get involved into her mess. She didn't want to become a burden to those she cared for so she just bottled up her feelings within. To deal with them on her own.

With a heavy sigh Mitsukai leaned against the railing. Watching the scenery below while lost in thought. Fiddling with that black cell in her pants pocket, just trying to figure out what her next move should be.

[Serenity Masterson]

Serenity was not exactly in the best state of mind right now. Nope, she had just gotten done drinking about half a bottle of whiskey and smoking a joint. She was feeling no pain right now. Well, not much anyways. Sure, she had been being trained by Katsuri just as the others but his dissappearring had not really bothered her. She did not know him that well, and when you lived in the moment like Ren did, you did not let stupid shit like that get to you.

So yeah, here she was, dragging herself up the stairs leading to the roof. She was not unsteady on her feet, but she was not exactly skipping either. Heh. Her grey hood pulled up over her head, just the slightest bit of blond locks falling outward. Other than that she looked like she always did. Jeans, sneakers, and cute little form.

Reaching the door to the roof, she pushed it open. Why was she headed up here? She was trying to find Jason, or somebody. For what? Well give you 5 guesses. Heh. Stepping onto the roof, a blast of fresh air greeted her. Causing her to sway just slightly before regaining her footing and then using emerald hues to scan the area for any other forms of life.

And there was. But it was so not who she wanted to see. Snorting softly, she would shake her head and then move to take a seat on one of the tables that lay up there. Not bothering to say a word. No, she would not start shit, she would not start shit, she would not start shit.

[Mitsukai]

Mitsukai almost jumped when she heard the doors open from behind her. Breaking her train of thought.She turned to see who it was and was not very happy with the results. It was that smoker girl from before, the one she didn't like. And judging from the girl's cold disposition towards her she knew that that feeling was mutual.

Well it could have been worse, it could have been Gabriel that had shown up. Now that would've been down right awkward. She turned back to her previous position choosing to ignore the other girl in turn. She was not in the mood for talking. Or in the mood to start a fight. Even though she did not like the girl Mitsukai never started a fight without a reason. And taking out her frustrations on that girl was not a good enough cause to start anything.

[Serenity Masterson]

She eventually would lay down onto the table. A heavy sigh passing from her as she closed her eyes. She really did not feel like talking but there was something she needed to know.

"How is Kevala holding up since the big guy pooffed on her?"

Oh sure, everyone could complain all they wanted about him leaving. But in the end it was really him leaving Kevala. Ren did not see that something could have happened to him. No, all she saw was a guy who didnt want the kids he helped create. The rumors were already spreading all over the place.

She may not seem to care about anything. But she did respect Kevala. From what she had seen of her around the halls, the girl was holding it together like a pro. She had even changed her entire look. She was beautiful before, but now she was stunning. It was as though the big guy leaving had been something to push her in the direction she needed to be.

[Mitsukai]

"She's holding up well for now." Mitsukai had replied simply. Of course Mitsukai's main concerns at the time was for Kevala. The poor girl had just been abandoned after almost losing her life to bring his two children into the world. She recalled her conversation with Sasha on their third encounter, thinking bitterly that the the little bitch was right after all. I owe that man an ass beating she thought bitterly. She did tell Sasha that if he did hurt Kevala in the end she would do just that. No point in going a against her word. But she couldn't track him down, even after weeks of searching so she had to give up.

Mitsukai was amazed though of how Kevala had turned her life around after the incident. Where most women would have given up that girl had kept her head high. Now focusing her passion towards her children. Kevala was a great mother, Katsuri was a fool for abandoning her.

She was surprised that this chick even cared about her. Though she had to admit lately she has been distracted, maybe those two had become friends during this time. Who knows...may be she should ask her.

"Why do you want to know?"

[Serenity Masterson]

"Because you have to respect a girl who does not fight, who does not hate others openly, and who loved that asshole with all her heart, for getting up and moving on. She pulled her ass together and those kids are healthy and beautiful and well loved. More than most women in her position would have done."

No, she was not friends with Kevala. The girl had always viewed Ren as some type of threat, and Ren had seen it. She was not about to get between a man and his pregnant woman. Yeah, Katsuri had been hot, but there was always something about him that she had not trusted. Now she knew what.

"That son of a bitch left her with those kids and not even a word to say 'sorry but I dont think this is gonna work' yet she has grown up and is taking care of those two babies. So that is why I wonder. She needs help, I am there. She has earned it in my book."

[Mitsukai]

Mitsukai couldn't help but smile at that. This girl wasn't so bad after all.

"Yes Katsuri is a fucking bastard that needs to get his manhood ripped off. He's not man enough to have them." That deep seething hatred apparent in her voice. Despite her own feelings which she herself had no understanding of, she could understand how hard things were on Kev. And that was what made her furious.

"He doesn't even deserve to worship the ground she walks on. The fucking prick."

[Serenity Masterson]

She laughed softly, nodding in agreement with the comments set forth about Katsuri.

"Oh I know. Trust me. I have been with a lot of guys. And ya know, not many of them are as bad as that. I know. "

She shook her head as she pushed herself up to sit. A sigh passing from her as she settled her arms on her knees. Her hand coming up and pushing back that hood. Leaving her features open for view.

"Kevala should just forget about him ya know? I know she still misses him. I have seen it in her eyes. But gah! That ass!"

[Kevala Badoer]

Speak of the devil and she shall appear. Enter the female that was such a hot topic. Right upon hearing the final comment to come from Ren's mouth. Her hand pushing the door to the roof open just as the words had left her lips.

"It is not nice to speak of somebody when they are not here."

Her brown hair falling about her features as she let those icy hues scan between the two of them. A grin on her lips.

Oh she knew how everyone felt about Katsuri. Hell, she had her moments that she herself hated him. As much as she could anyways given that she did love him with her entire heart and he was her brother. But she did curse him in her mind everytime she thought of the son and daughter he had not bothered to see, much less get to know.

Stepping onto the roof and moving to stand near them, she would let out a light sigh. Her arms crossing over her chest. Mind lettting the memory of Katsuri creep in once more.

[Mitsukai]

"Oh I know. Trust me. I have been with a lot of guys. And ya know, not many of them are as bad as that. I know. "

She nodded in agreement with that statement. "I have never been with any man before but I do know how bad they can be. They always want something from you, whether it is sex, money or something else. You can never really trust them." That comment made her think again of Gabriel wondering what exactly he wanted from her. He was the type that would only reach out to those he could use. Playing them like pawns in his little game of chess. What would be the point of her joining such a person if all she could ever be was a tool? She pushed those thoughts away again, not wanting to reveal any unnecessary emotions in front of the other girl. Not that she didn't want her to worry like Kev or Drea, but she simply didn't like to show signs of weakness.


"It is not nice to speak of somebody when they are not here."

Well speak of the devil the girl mused as she turned her eyes now at their subject that just so happened to waltz in on them at the perfect moment. She would smile at the newcomer.

"Oh don't mind us, you know how girls are. All we ever do is bitch and gossip about other peoples lives." she joked.

[Serenity Masterson]

She was half drunk, so the appearance of Kevala just got a laugh from her as she spoke.

"Yeah, we were just talking about men and their complete lack of brain cells. Nothing that is not common knowledge."

She cast those emerald eyes up to Kevala and then back to Mituskai. Hmm..This was an interesting gathering. She would shake her head. All the times Katsuri had tried to get them to all get along and THIS is what it took to do it. Heh. Well maybe his leaving did have some good in it?

[Kevala Badoer]

She listened to them both. A grin still on her lips as she moved to look over the edge of the roof. Hmm..Not too long ago she had actually thought about what it would be like to jump. But then she had two lives at home that depended on her.

"Katsuri left. I understand that he may have done so as a result of the children. I always worried that he was never the type to settle down despite his words.

But you must leave yourself open to the possibility that something has happened to him. His last conversation with me before everything went so wrong, did not sound like that of a man who was planning on leaving.

Do I hate him? No, not fully. Am I angry with him? Yes. Even if he did get hurt. He knew better than to continue the path he was on with the birth so close. Yet he continued to push himself.

I am hurt, I am not as strong as you two would believe me to be. I have done things to ensure that my children are kept safe that I am not fully proud of."

She trailed off there. Her eyes flashing to red as she closed them. A soft shake of her head as she fought back the anger which dwelled inside of her. Not tonight. She would become irrational and that was not a good thing.

"I will continue to raise the children he did not see. I will love them enough for us both and I will find another to love me. I hope. Though if that does not happen then so be it."

[Mitsukai]

Mitsukai gave a small sigh.

"Looks like we all have to move on with our lives and do what is best for our future....or in your case Kev for you and your children. Whether it's best to forget about him or not I am not sure. If it'll just help us to move on then so be it." She was not so sure that she herself could forget about the man. She had never been much of the type to move on so easily, normally holding a grudge for a long time until it was finally satisfied. As she was sure would be the case with this situation. For now she was hurt, but eventually that anger would take hold of her as it has countless times before and that would ultimately be the fuel to keep her going.

As for what the future held?....well that was clouded with uncertainty and doubt. things were going too fast for her to cope with at the moment, but in the end she would always hold out in the end. Just like she always had.

She turned her attention back to Kevala, still keeping that warm smile. "I am glad that you think of your children above all else. Your a great mother, not many in your position would give two shits about them. I frankly think that your strong for pulling through this ordeal for them."

[Serenity Masterson]

"Yeah you are a hell of a mom. I think if my dad had dropped off the face of the planet when I was born my mom would have given me up for adoption. A lot of women would."

Ren could not say the same about having to move on. She already had. But then she had not known Katsuri for that long. Still, the idea of what these two seemed to be going through made her hate the guy even more. Sure, she supposed he could have been hurt. But Kevala had a point in that he should have been backing off so close to the birth.

[Kevala Badoer]

"I have done what I had to do to make sure that my children are loved and taken care of. As any Mother should."

She thought about her alliance with Gabriel. It was not in her to go against him at this point. But still she knew deep down that for Katsuri's return she would do anything. But still, she had made the choice to side with him, and for now she would stick by it. She saw his point, and she understood his actions. Shaking her head she cleared her thoughts.

"Perhaps one he shall return to me. I do not know."