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Post by seishounohana on Dec 31, 2009 20:33:38 GMT -8
Emily was at a loss.
There was simply no winning for her, is there?
She had been bothered by many a thing the past month or so, most especially considering matters of the heart.
It was just not possible for her to have these feelings for "Unfettered" still exist and still be in a relationship with him, at least in her mind. Emily did love Ryuu Hikari with all her heart, as he was a guy whom returned her feelings without hesitation and was duefully loyal to her.
It was she, who had to be unloyal to him. Which was sad, because the last thing Emily wanted was to hurt Ryuu in any way.
Emily wanted to be selfish and just pretend her feelings for Unfettered didn't exist; maybe perhaps continue her relationship with Ryuu, but all in all, she just couldn't forgive herself for things she had done previously.
Emily picked up her phone, finally. Starting to type out a message with her thumb.
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Dec 31, 2009 20:55:21 GMT -8
And so it began. Kazuya knew long ago, that the possibility of Emily breaking up with him existed, and despite what most would think, he was alright with it. Because he knew her heart loved someone else besides him. And Kazuya accepted that, just as he had back at Point Hope. At Point Hope, it was Sephora loving the vampire Marquise. For 42 and now, it was Emily loving "Unfettered." Not quite the same, since Emily had returned his feelings, unlike Sephora, who cared for him as a best friend, almost like a brother, but it boiled down to the same thing. It was bound to happen, and eventually would. So when Kazuya received the text message from Emily, he was sitting on the edge of the window of his apartment, staring out of it. He knew the time had come. Rising up off his perch, Kazuya grabbed his green hooded jacket and pulled it on, before heading out of his apartment, tapping out a reply to Emily.
His hands in the pockets of his jeans, Kazuya made his way to the school gates at a casual pace. It's not that he was trying to put it off, because he had been aware of Emily's divided feelings this whole time, just that, from where he currently was, he had a nice view of the slowly setting sun, just starting to dip below the horizon, the brilliant orange sun reflected on the ocean waters. Ryuu. He hadn't been called that in a long time. Only one other person beside Kyoko called him by his first name, and it wasn't Emily. Upon reaching block the school was on, Kazuya could make out a familiar figure waiting outside the school gates. He made his way over, before coming to a stop. "... It was bound to happen, wasn't it," He said quietly, a cool but calm expression on his face, "Emily."
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Post by seishounohana on Dec 31, 2009 21:16:13 GMT -8
Emily jumped down from the fence she was sitting on, allowing herself to regain her balance before responding to Ryuu. Honestly, part of her was hurting just to see him. There was love, and there was guilt. A lot of guilt. And there was so much pain in Emily right now that she could not express because of her own state of being. It was... both a bad thing, and a good thing. Bad only because it didn't let Ryuu see how painful this decision was for her; and Good because of the same reason. "So I guess you knew?" Emily said, raising her head slightly so that she would meet eye-to-eye with Ryuu. In her face was a soft, bittersweet smile, stoic to emotions. Emily would look down, her eyes looking slightly downcast, betraying the smile on her lips. Of course, she still felt all these emotions and more. It was just that she was incapable of physically expressing them. The art of Body Language was gone from the white-haired girl that stood from Ryuu. Which was something greatly different from the time they had last met. In fact, it was slightly suspicious. "I-...I'm sorry, Ryuu." She started. "... I just don't want to hurt you, of all people. I can live hurting Jonathan, but you --- No. I can't.""Even though I love Winters, and I honestly do still... I honestly do love you as well. But I can't have feelings for him and still be with you. I... just can't bear with the idea of hurting you this way."She chuckled darkly. .... "... I... thought maybe it's best that I let you free to find a girl who can love you better than I ever could. You deserve it, Ryuu." |
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Jan 1, 2010 12:28:37 GMT -8
It wasn't that Kazuya knew. He just knew the possibility existed. His expression remained unchanged even after Emily jumped down from her spot on top of the fence and looked up at him, his eyes locking with hers, a soft, bittersweet smile on her face, before looking down, breaking eye contact with him. The look in her eyes betrayed the smile she had on her face, and Kazu understood. For a long time, he had been sarcastic and cynical, as a way to keep others from getting close to him, so in the end, he wouldn't have to end up hurting them. But that was then. This is now. Looking down at Emily, it was almost like, she wanted to express her true feelings, but was unable to. She was different, different from the last time they had met, which wasn't that long ago, when you think about it.
"... Baka." Kazuya said, as he lightly tapped her head with his hand, barely enough to hurt her or even leave a bruise, for that matter. "You have nothing to apologize for. I knew you loved someone else, and I was alright with it. I just wanted one thing, for you to be happy." Kazuya sighed in mock exasperation, his arms hanging loosely by his side. "I was happy... happy that you loved me back." Kazuya lifted his head up, staring up at the orange sky above him, the wind blowing his black hair around, the edges of his jacket fluttering around slightly. "I loved you... more than anyone in this entire world. That's why I feel comfortable enough to tell you something that no one except for Kyoko knows." Kazuya lowered his head back, looking straight at her. "... I'm the real Kazuya Hikari. My friends from St. Paragon's and Point Hope High thought I died in Point Hope, Alaska, but I was brought back, and I had to become my own cousin to hide that fact."
His hands clenched up, Kazuya lifted his right hand up, and opened his hand, revealing something in the palm of his hand. It was the ring from the mock wedding. He had kept it with him all this time. "I may be Alex, Ryuu, and Kazuya, but the memories I had before I died, back at 42 and here, are real. I'm me. Kazuya... Hikari. But I don't want to hurt you either. Staying with me, while still loving him won't hurt me. It'll hurt you, and I couldn't let you go through such pain. I will always love you Emily, never forget that. But I want you to be free, so that you won't experience such pain. And no matter what, I will always be your Knight, Regalia or not."
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Post by seishounohana on Jan 6, 2010 21:11:58 GMT -8
Emily smiled weakly after Ryuu spoke, her hand gently moving upwards to caress his cheek. "You will always be Ryuu for me. You are not your clone, because I honestly don't know him. I know you." She said, "You... are the only one I've ever loved who loved me back, and more." She chuckled wearily, her smile disappearing into a stoic gaze.
She paused for a few moments, looking downward before pulling Ryuu into an embrace, sharing her warmth with his one more time before she would have to face whatever she believed she had to. In her muffled voice, Ryuu would hear: " I wonder often and ... I guess I've managed to think that.... if only I didn't come back to Long Beach, I would have probably moved on... and loved you more than I ever had for Winters."
...
"... Then I wouldn't have to part with you like this."
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Jan 7, 2010 16:27:04 GMT -8
Kazuya's eyes softened slightly as he felt Emily's hand caress his cheek, returning the weak smile she gave him with a sad smile of his own. Everyone he had met, knew him, and only him, Kazuya. Alex and Ryuu... They were one in the same. They were all him. "And you will always be the same Emily I met back at 42 to me. You were the first person I talked to... and became friends with. You were the first person to love me in return. Here I am. I exist in this world... in your world." He continued to smile sadly down at her as he heard her chuckle wearily, her smile disappearing and replaced with a stoic gaze, before looking down.
He looked off to one side as she did so, his smile having faded away, and before he knew it, he was suddenly pulled into an embrace, feeling her warmth mingling with his own, as he stood there for a little while, before wrapping his arms around her, holding her close against him, his eyes filled with longing, sadness... and love. "It was my choice... and my decision. I chose to come to Long Beach. You didn't have to follow after me... but you returned here anyways." Kazuya replied in a low murmur, as his arms tightened around her for a brief moment. "I could blame myself for all this... and in truth, I do blame myself for it... Whether you moved on or not from him, the love I have and still hold for you, is genuine." Kazuya's eyes were hidden by his hair, casting shadows on his face, as he held Emily in his arms one last time, before he began to pull away from her.
"... We only meet to part."
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Post by seishounohana on Jan 12, 2010 19:02:20 GMT -8
...
Emily couldn't stop herself from crying.
Why couldn't she stop? Didn't she throw away this side of her that night? She threw away her own ability to express sadness and sorrow, and yet she still manages to shed tears despite the happy expression on her face. "... Ah... haha..." She said, choking a bit on her own tears. "It's weird when you cry... and feel none of the pain that usually comes from feeling sorrow..."
She chuckled darkly, her tears saturating Ryuu's clothing. "... It's also weird that despite this... I wish that I didn't have to." Emily looked up at Ryuu then, her smile fading away. "... Please... tell me I don't have to, Ryuu..."
She knew what had to be done... and yet, she was hesitating.
Emily was dependent on Ryuu for this...
--- for the feeling of acceptance and love that she had never gotten from the German male. She had figured that it was about time she left the security blanket to learn on her own.
But was she really ready for this? No one can tell, not even Emily herself.
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Jan 13, 2010 13:09:03 GMT -8
Kazuya smiled sadly slightly, as he reached down and gentle wiped away some of Emily's tears. Even if the heart forgets, the body still remembers. Even though Emily threw away the ability to express her emotions, her body still remembered how to. He felt the front of his shirt become soaked by her tears, as he held her in his arms, closing his eyes for a brief moment, before lifting his head up and staring up at the bright orange sky above him. She wasn't the only one, Kazuya... no, for just this moment, this one moment, he was Ryuu. He wished he didn't have to part from Emily as well. He lowered his head down, as he looked down at her, staring deeply into her emerald green eyes, his gray eyes reflecting longing, sadness... and love for her. "... I wish I could..." Ryuu replied quietly, the sad smile having faded away long before. "... I wish I didn't have to leave you... But we have to part..." He knew it had to be done. If they didn't part ways now, Emily wouldn't be able to stop depending on Ryuu for the feeling of acceptance and love she had for so long, longed to receive from "Unfettered."
Ryuu had truly experienced loneliness and solitude. He had only his sister as a friend prior to St. Paragon's, no one else. If he didn't part from Emily now, he knew he'd never be able to let go of her again. He loved her, she was the single most important person to him, in his life, and she had loved him back, something he had never experienced, the memories that were precious to him, were the ones from St. Paragon's, Point Hope High, Moral Crest, and here, at Public High School #259. "... I love you Emily... So I have to let you go... Because if I don't... I'm afraid I'll never be able to, ever again..." He said, as he began to pull away from her, though a part of him still kept him from letting her go...
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