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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 5, 2010 15:58:07 GMT -8
Kevala was just leaving her studio, her long black hair falling down about her as she turned, locking the door and making sure that the alarm was set.
With that she turned and headed off toward the park, dressed in her jeans and a black hoodie, she needed to get out of the rush of the city for a bit and just relax. Given the strange cold air that had settled into the area, she hoped that not too many people would be in the park today.
She was still getting used to this numb feeling she had inside. She had always been somebody to live by her emotions, and now, though she had them still, she did not let them show all that often. She could not suffer the pain of life any longer, she had given up on Gabriel, and though she continued to stand beside him, she would no longer let anyone know what she felt inside her heart.
Nobody wanted her the way she was, so now she would change who she was. No longer would the monster try and find love. It was something that she did not deserve.....
Sighing softly, she found her way to a bench that lined the walkway of the park, sitting down and placing her hands in her lap. Just.....thinking.
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Jan 5, 2010 16:38:22 GMT -8
"Thinking deep?" A voice rang out, as a dark figure stepped out from behind the tree located beside the park bench that Kevala was currently sitting on, the sunlight shining down, casting a shadow over top her. His hands in the pockets of his white jacket, Kazuya would come to a stop near Kevala, his breath visible in the cold air. "Or ya just felt like getting away from everything?" No, Kazuya did not know about Kevala's situation, or anything that happened to her recently. In fact, the last time they had met, was at the Regalia crowning ceremony. But this time was different... the both of them were different, Kazuya especially noticeable, as evident by the slightly cocky look in his eyes, and a small smirk on his face. No longer standing in the shadow of the original, Kazuya was out to forge his own identity. His personality varied greatly from the original's.
Only because he had seen and met the friends the original had made back then, did he act like the original. But because he had not seen them around lately, and Kyoko had left Long Beach recently, he had decided he was going to walk his own path, as an individual, not as a replacement. "It's been a while," He commented, as he continued to stay standing near by, not directly in front of her, but somewhat off to the side, but still close enough that she could hear him speak, "Kevala." To be honest, he thought of Kevala as only an acquaintance, mainly because the both of them did not talk to each other often, this was only the third time they encountered each other, and he was sure she thought the same of him. Just purely acquaintances...
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 5, 2010 19:24:34 GMT -8
Those icy hues shifted to the sound of a familiar voice, a little sigh passing her lips as she noted who it was and forced a friendly smile to curl upon her lips.
"Kazuya. It is nice to see you again."
Her tone lacked the same bubbly and happy way that it had used to carry, now it seemed, darker, more serious and refined. But that was simply from too much shit happening to her in such a short amount of time.
She had been put through so much, only to come out the other end unsure of herself more so than she had been in the beginning. Now, she was covinced that she was indeed the monster that everyone had made her out to be all her life, and so she had given up.
What else was she supposed to do? Keep hoping and never get anywhere?
"As for your question....A bit of both I suppose. Cannot have deep thought in the thick of people and noise can you?"
Sliding herself over to one end of the bench and motioning toward the other.
"You may sit if you like."
She could still be polite and nice and all that good stuff. It was just a matter of not letting those outside see what she held so guarded inside. No more tears..no more suffering in public. No, those were matters best left for home, in her bed, alone......
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Jan 7, 2010 0:01:01 GMT -8
Kazuya noted the small sigh that escaped Kevala as she looked up him, actually causing the cocky look that was in his eyes to diminish somewhat, as a calm expression mingled with his usual cocky look. He couldn't help but feel that the smile that appeared on her face was... almost forced out. But he wasn't exactly 100% sure about it, and he sure as hell wasn't a mind reader, so he kept his suspicion to himself. No need to poke his nose around in matters that did not concern or involved him. It wasn't his business, and it sure as hell didn't interest him. She had certainly changed, her tone of voice was different from the last time they had met, and even Kazuya noticed it. It wasn't THAT hard to notice after all. Just as Kevala's tone of voice had changed, so had Kazuya's, his now sounded cocky, and he was cocky. Completely different from the original Kazuya.
"Yeah, ya got a point there." Kazuya agreed, as he nodded his head slightly, his apartment was the place he usually went to when he wanted to think deep, or just be by himself. "Arigato." He replied, as he took the seat offered to him, and sat down beside her. For what it's worth, even with her change of personality, she was still polite as ever. Some things never changed. "I won't ask what happened to ya, and ya don't need to tell me. That belongs to ya, and ya alone. But are ya alright? I get the feeling I'm not feeling loved here." Cocky Kazuya may be, but he treasured his friends, and Kevala, though she was an acquaintance, he still knew her, and if he could help her, he would. Though only if she wanted his help, that is. "It's your choice. I ain't gonna make ya say what's on your mind."
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 7, 2010 8:00:44 GMT -8
She noted the change in his attitude, the way he seemed to emit a seemingly cocky attitude. It was enough to make her raise her brow, but then she resisted the urge. She instead simply allowed her eyes to follow his movements as he moved to take a seat beside her. Polite? Yes, she could not change that part of herself, no matter how much she tried. She would always have some parts of her that were the same, no matter how cold she felt inside.
Then he spoke and she would divert her eyes away from him for a moment. She was unsure how to speak her reply. Honestly she was not alright, even she knew that. It was never healthy to close yourself off from the world, but at the same time, she was better than she had been in a very long time.
Just tell him you are okay. It is fine. Nobody needs to know what lies beneath the surface. It will only lead to more trouble and that is something you do not need.
Please stop this. You cannot hide forever. It is not good for you. It will only cause more trouble in the end. Do not let Gabriel do this to you. Please?
I do not know what to do. I just know that I cannot suffer the pain any more.
She would then turn her eyes back to him, a soft smile, as real a smile as she could manage would curl upon her lips.
"I am doing as well as I can given recent events. Better than I was, but not as good as I could be. You?"
It was the best she could manage really. And it seemed like an honest enough response.
"And you are always loved and a welcome friend. Despite how much I may have changed since our last encounter."
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Jan 8, 2010 0:10:16 GMT -8
He quickly noted her eyes diverting away from him for a moment, which meant not all was well it seemed. Though as stated before, he was cocky and rude at times, though he was just as smart as the original had been, but either way, he was still not a mind reader. He didn't know what the hell had happened to her, or what was happening to her currently, if there was anything. She didn't need to tell him squat, or anything for that matter. Everything that happened to her, was her memories, and hers alone, no one else's. Looking away slightly in the other direction, like he was pre-occupied with something else, to give her a bit of space and time, Kazuya noticed her turn back to face him from the corner of his eye, as he turned his head back slightly in her direction. Her smile. It was a soft smile, and probably as real as any smile possible. Mustered up or not, he rubbed the back of his head as he smiled back, though his was a slightly awkward smile, due to the fact he didn't expect her to say what she had said.
It seemed stuff had gone down, and though she said she was alright, though not as good as she could be, he had a terrible feeling that Kevala was strong. But because she was strong, she's fragile, and if someone didn't teach her that fact... she could possibly break. It had to happen soon. "... I see." He replied, not letting any hint of his dark prediction seep out. The less she thought he was thinking, the better. "As for me, I've been doing alright, given events that occurred recently, ya know?" There wasn't much point in going into details. If she asked, he'd say, but really, there wasn't much point in it. "Nice to know I'm loved though, given how much the both of us has changed pretty recently." He nodded, as he casually folded his arms across his chest. "Makes me wonder why he hasn't changed." Some things were better left unsaid. Like his name. "But if ya want some time by yourself, I can leave, I have no problems with it."
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 9, 2010 12:38:02 GMT -8
She would keep her eyes on him now, her small hands tucking into the pockets of her jacket as she leaned back against the bench and let out a soft sigh.
Honestly she did not know what she was doing anymore. She was just...bleh!
Then he spoke and she would try to smile once more, though it again came out as forced act. Either way she would sit there, still letting her eyes fall over him as he finished speaking. A light shrug rolling through her shoulders.
She had a feeling she knew who the "he" was but she said nothing. She did not want to really discuss "him" at the moment and honestly would avoid the subject all together. Instead she focused upon his last comment and would speak up softly once more, though still with the lack of emotion in her tone.
"No, it is fine. I do not mind the company. I have to go home soon, but for now we can talk."
She avoided the topic of his problems as well. She knew what had happened, seeing as how Emily was her friend and all, and she did in a way feel bad for what he had been through. Yet she kept it to herself. She did not feel that it was her place to really say anything.
"Seems that life has sufficiently fucked up both over once again. Or at least again for me. Heh"
She would shake her head then, another sigh passing her lips as she felt a soft breeze blow across them, her hair falling down into her face.
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Jan 10, 2010 0:20:42 GMT -8
Kazuya noted the soft sigh she emited, keeping her eyes on him as he sat down beside her, though he kept to himself, mostly because she seemed like she had quite a bit on her mind currently. Did he say seemed like? More like she did have quite a bit on her mind, from what he garnered from her responses. He saw her seem to force out a smile once more and shrug lightly, as a bit of sadness seeped into his eyes, before disappearing just as quickly as it appeared. Kazuya had never been one to smile much, even now, though he was cocky, he still didn't do it very often. He didn't know Kevala very well, but he knew something had happened, something that had hurt her deeply. But this was only a theory, nothing more. He wasn't going to pry into her life, nor did he wish to do so, especially where he was concerned.
"Hmmm... how about I walk ya home then? We can talk along the way. Kills two birds with one stone." Kazuya offered, casually shrugging his shoulders as he began to rise up off the bench. He had no desire to find out where Kevala lived, for all purposes, his intention was innocent. She had to go home soon. They could talk while walking to her home. Made sense to him at least. "Life's a bitch, then whadda gonna about it right?" He added, noting she said both as she shook her head. Not her, but both, meaning she had some knowledge of what had happened to him recently, but he didn't not question her about it. He didn't mind anyways, they were friends, or least, starting to become ones, and he doubted she was the type to spread it around needlessly. His hair whipped around his face from the light breeze, his hands in his pockets, he stared up at the relatively cloudless sky, since he honestly didn't know which direction to go in if she agreed to his offer. His life wasn't quite fucked up, but it wasn't exactly pleasant either. He hadn't stopped loving Emily, not even for a second, despite what had happened. He would always love her. "Always..."
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 10, 2010 12:35:08 GMT -8
She nodded, pushing herself up to stand as she kept her icy hues upon him. Honestly she figured it was probably best that she go home. She was getting tired and she needed to get all the rest she could before she would end up here, again, for her nightly run.
When he was ready she would finally start off in the direction of home, a little sigh passing her lips as she nodded to his statement. Yes, life did suck.
"I suppose you take what it gives you and try to make the best of it."
She knew his situation and it was somewhat similar to her own. She would always love Gabriel, nothing would ever change that. But in the end, she had to do what was best for her, to save what sanity she had left, and that was to close herself off from the world. Emotions were for the weak, or at least to show them was. She could feel still, but it was fading, with each day she kept it in, the emotions became harder and harder for her to experience. Soon, she was sure, there would be nothing but cold numbness.
"Thank you for walking me home. You really do not have to."
She was being polite, more from memory and habit than anything else. It was strange how some things just stayed programed into you even when you didnt want them to.
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Jan 10, 2010 22:46:08 GMT -8
He noted that throughout the entire time the two of them had been talking, she had not stopped looking at him, not even for a second. It did not make him feel paranoid, or make him think he had something on his face, he just merely looked at her from the corner of his eye for a brief moment before shifting his eyes to face forward once more, as he walked beside her, letting her lead the way, his hands now in the pockets of his jeans, hearing her sigh softly once more. He had lost track of how many times she had sighed, well, actually, more like didn't bother to. She may know about his situation, but he certainly didn't know about hers, and felt no point in trying to find out. He knew she hung around Gabriel quite a bit, but that was all. Emotions were a funny and a rather fickle thing. You don't show them, people think you are stoic and uncaring. Show too much, and people think you are weak. It was difficult to strike a balance between the two.
Kazuya, acted serious more than anything, even though he had recently showed his true personality, a cocky, sometimes rude, guy. "Eh, don't worry about it, I don't really mind." He replied, as he casually shrugged his shoulders. It's not like it was convenient, but it wasn't a waste of time either. The sun just starting to set, the sky was turned a brilliant shade of orange, as Kazuya continued to walk beside Kevala. In a way, the two of them were alike, somewhat. The only difference was, Kazuya had locked away the love he still held for Emily, deep down, as far as he possible could. All that remained, was the deep loyalty he held for her, as one of her Knights in Regalia. Kevala was a knight too he supposed, though he did wonder how much stronger she had gotten since the last time the two of them spared against each other. If he had a chance, he'd like to spar against her again, see just how much she had grown.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 11, 2010 10:45:13 GMT -8
Kevala continued on her path toward her home, bypassing the street that she had turned down so many times to take her to Katsu's home and heading instead in a completely new yet very familiar direction.
"So, how have things been for you? All things considering of course."
She kept her eyes on the path ahead, her small hands tucking into her pockets as she felt a soft breeze blow across them once more. Drawing in a deep breath she could not help but smile just slightly at the scent of the air. Loving the way it smelled....She was an odd one but that is all part of what made her who she was.
Softly she would brush her tongue over her lips, mind wandering for a moment to the things in her own life that had driven her to the point she was at now.
Why are you even talking to this guy? You know that you should just stay away from the whole bunch of them and keep yourself from getting hurt. It is the only way.
I think it is nice that you are talking to somebody else. You have devoted so much time to Gabriel that you have no paid attention to anyone else. There could always be somebody else out there for you.
I do not want anyone for me. And for your information I paid plenty of attention to Jason over the last few months. So there!
She shook her head, pulling her mind from thought and back to the conversation at hand. Not letting on that the voices were still as present as ever.
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Jan 11, 2010 12:32:15 GMT -8
Having never visited Kevala’s home, well, former home, or been there for that matter, Kazuya did not know that they had just bypassed the street where she used to live, instead, he continued walking beside her, unaware of what had happened to the house recently. "Things have been alright, considering everything that has happened to me recently. Nothing to do but just keep moving forward, through the good and the bad, ya know?" He replied, as he casually shrugged his shoulders before continuing to look up at the orange sky above them, as he felt the cool breeze blow against his face, seeing Kevala smile slightly, just slightly. The good and the bad... No matter how fucked up your life gets, the world doesn't give a damn. The world doesn't care about who dies, who lives, who loves, who gets hurt. It still continues to turn, and brings night and day. The world doesn't need anyone else. What a lonely fate, when you think about it.
"How about ya? Have things been alright with ya? Well, considering how fucked up things have been for ya lately." Kazuya asked back, as he looked at her from the corner of his eyes, slowly lowering his head down to look at her properly. Really, he doubted there was anyone at 259 currently that could say their life was normal, or at the very least, relatively normal. Maybe in their early childhood some of them had a relatively normal life, but currently? He highly doubted it. And if anyone said their life was normal, he really like to find out what their definition of normal was. But he knew for sure, his life was anything but normal. He was a replica that biologically, looked 20 years old, but technically, he was only two years old. He hadn't lived in this world for very long, when you thought about it. But only two people knew who, what, he really was, and one had left Long Beach a while ago. "Life hasn't been easy... for the both of us... for anyone..."
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 12, 2010 11:10:20 GMT -8
Kevala continued on, her eyes occasionally glancing up to him and then back to the path ahead of her. She let her mind wander, not off topic mind you, but as to how she should reply to his question.
How were things with her? It was such a simple question yet to give the true answer would be so very complicated. She had so many things wrong with her life at the moment and not very many right. It was a hard road she was going down at the moment yet she was sure that she would be okay.
One, because she was stronger than her tiny appearance seemed to show.
Two, she had somebody helping her when she really needed it...somebody who, despite their differences in love, loved her and cared what happened to her.
Three, she had hope......
Finally she would shrug, her hands coming from her pockets to wrap about herself to fight off the cold chill in the air.
"I am as good as can be expected considering the amount of shit that keeps coming my way. But I am sure it will all work out in the end."
She would force a smile upon her lips as she tilted her head up to look at him once more before looking back ahead of them, the lights of the houses coming into view though still a good ways off from Seran Manor or whatever the hell Gabriel called it these days.
"Somehow it always works out. Just takes time and much energy. Not like I dont have enough of either."
A soft, half hearted laugh escaping her as she kicked lightly at the ground in her continued motions forward.
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Post by Kazuya Hikari on Jan 12, 2010 16:33:38 GMT -8
Kazuya continued to walk forward, his hands in his pockets, as he occasionally glanced over at Kevala from the corner of his eye, but not in annoyance, but in mild curiosity, since he saw her occasionally glance up at him and then back in front of her, which made him think she was pondering over her answer. Everyone had a somewhat tough life ahead of them, even if they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. For Kazuya, his life had been anything but easy. Born in the shadow of the original, having to confront the original's angry friends who believed Alex had died, which he had, and try to muster a decent explanation that didn't end up making him look like a lunatic, but he was not the original, he was not Alex. He had no memories of St. Paragon's, Point Hope, absolutely nothing. He only knew Matrim and Reira's names, and the nicknames Alex had given them, because Kyoko had told him. He had traveled down a hard road, working his ass off to get to where he was right now. That was the only thing he had lived for, to be stronger than the original.
But along the way, other things had appeared, dividing his attention on the goal he had been focusing on solely. He still focused on his goal, but there had been something else, someone else, that became more important. The air chilling, Kazuya pulled his hands out his pockets and rubbed them together, to warm them up. "Shit happens. All we can really do, is keep moving forward, ya know? There will always be tough times ahead... for everyone, but as long as ya got someone there for ya, there will always be hope." Keep going forward. Don't look back. Kazuya nodded his head slightly at Kevala as he saw her force a smile, her head tilting up to look at him, as a small smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "The past is the past, and the future is the future." Kazuya added, casually shrugging his shoulders. The past was the original's. The present and the future was his. They continued past the lights of houses surrounding them, as Kazuya noticed the neighborhood they were in, was of the wealthy, well off citizens of Long Beach.
He kept quiet however, keeping his opinion, and his questions, to himself. This was the area Kevala lived in, who was he to formulate a judgment from it anyways? Even though he lived in an apartment building, but it was a nice apartment, so he couldn't complain. He continued walking beside her, looking down at the path in front of him. "It'll all get better in time..."
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