Sorry For Being a Bitch (Kiyr)

[Your Mom~]

(OOC: Takes place before On Your Toes)
----

Being home never felt so good. Being alive never felt so good. How long had she wasted being in a slump when everything she could possibly want was in front of her the whole time? A roof over her head, food, safety, friends, and Maddie. Les had been pawning off babysitting onto Youichi while she tried to run the territory, andrealized she didnt want to be the CEO mom who only saw her kids on holidays. She needed to be involved.

She'd thanked Lucien for saving her life during the battle....but it occurred to her there was someone else she hadn't expressed her appreciation for, because her mind was clouded with hurt over silly emotions and silly boys.

Kiyr.

Olesya stopped by the war room once she was done working for the day, kaleidoscope eyes scanning for the blonde woman. Once she spotted her, she approached slowly, casually. She wanted Kiyr to know she wasn't about business.

"Hey. You about done? Let's go get some coffee."

If she were saying this to just about anyone else, it would sound completely normal.

[Kyrie Blaze]

The day was long - they generally were - but the petite blonde was in good spirits. The work was hard but satisfying. She still oversaw and worked on her groves, to which they were growing more hardy vegetables in these cooler months. It was wonderful and hands-on, keeping her grounded and quietly proud that she was creating life to sustain the lives of the family she had found...and the family that had returned to her. She still ran patrols, though not as frequently as before because she had other duties. As Field Marshal she had to continue to keep tabs on the men and continue to build rapport with them all as well as the other duties that came with that, like strategy and paperwork. It was all a challenge and - for the large majority of time - enjoyable. And she was pleased to find with her quick mind and quiet, efficient skills, she had an aptitude for it all. Her ribs were still highly painful, but, she was looking forward to continuing training each morning David was available. She could see the start of changes in him with the training--she knew he enjoyed it, both working his body once again and even teaching and growing the strength in her.

And, just a few days ago, she had been given the gift of flight once again. She was back amongst the ranks of the Sky Force...by them wanting her back, and with David's agreement. No tricks, this time. Her heart was light, eyes bright, her focus complete on work and on herself, for herself and for them. For all of them. And, she was thriving on it all.

For the most part, the day was winding down. She was leaning lightly - extremely uncomfortable in doing so, as her ribs protested - against the long table, a large group of scouts around her as she outlined new patrol routes and changes so they could more efficiently cover ground. She preferred working directly the groups rather than delegating to Scout Leaders. That way everyone heard from one source and they could ask questions. One or two tended to snowball to more.

It pleased her, that their minds were sharp and working.

"I will begin teaching basic to advanced parkour you will all find that covering ground will be easier." Her back was to the door as she spoke, though she glanced over her shoulder, her hair hanging over the back of her shoulder, exposing the bold writing of her last name emblazoned on the Sky Force jacket. She blinked, figuring Olesya was perhaps looking for David when the woman's eyes zeroed in on her. Well, she should finish this up. She turned back and segued right back in to what she was saying: "For now I expect you to have a working knowledge of the routes and start working with them. I will likely be running with you at different points. Everyone has a handle on what is required of them?"

She received affirmatives all around, variations of Yes, sir to Yes, Marshal uttered with clarity and feeling, as she had been working with them all for much longer than she had been Field Marshal.

"Good. Finish your duties and enjoy your night. Dismissed."

They broke away and scattered, leaving Kiyr to turn and blink at Olesya with a curious neutrality. She had taken care to avoid The white-blonde since she called her out on her treatment of David. Which was for the best. Their state of knowing one another was strained enough, there was no sense in aggravating it. Kyrie had a vast and fiercely protective streak regarding friends, family, the innocent, the helpless, and...those she cared deeply for. She had said her piece to the woman and had no wish to continue after giving her a shot at a second chance.

So Olesya's words caused her to still, her mind momentarily blanking. Her eyes widened a little before snapping back into focus as her mind cranked back into gear to process this information and continue being as generally busy as it was. Who was this?

She shifted the papers in her hands, straightening them out before turning to grab a file folder. As she tucked them in, she looked at Olesya, and responded, carefully.

"I am not much of one for coffee, to be honest. I enjoy the aroma and rare cup, but...that is about all." She paused, expression turning towards thoughtfulness. "I am, however, free enough. I can return to finish my paperwork in a little while. But...why?"

The blonde looked wary. For what reasons would Olesya have to come to her and ask her to go out for a drink? ...she didn't let her mind stray too far on that, not wanting to stir more than what anxious flutter of curiosity was already there.

[Your Mom~]

The corners of Olesya's mouth turned downward a fraction of a hair as Kiyr said she didn't like coffee. Was that her way of saying no? Les hadn't planned on what to do if she were rejected, which she was surprised that she was surprised about that being a possibility. They both knew that they...didn't exactly see eye to eye on one subject in particular, but Les had a debt to repay. Or at least...acknowledge.

She made herself smile when the blonde said she was free, even though on the inside she was feeling a bit anxious. All these damn emotions...

"They have lemonade and tea and stuff too. At the Peace Cafe. You deserve a break, come on."

She said, successfully skirting Kiyr's question. She turned, waving at her to come along. They would leave the war room and head toward the center of the residential area where the Peace Cafe sat as a hub for the civilian activity. It was brightly colored and lit with eccentric furniture and dishware. There was something about it that Les loved and set her at ease...possibly the fact that there was no sign of military influence. With all the bunkers and training grounds and offices and watch towers...this was very home-y.

She held the door for Kiyr before following her inside, approaching the counter.

"Coffee please, black, extra sugar."

[Kyrie Blaze]

Those blue eyes noted things. From Olesya's - almost surprised - downward twitch of her lips to her overall posture and demeanor. The blonde moved to tuck the file back into its proper place, not handing it off to someone else. She released a quiet breath to herself before turning back.

Olesya's answer seemed...lacking. Since when would she think Kyrie needed a break? When would she be so concerned for the woman that held part of the heart that belonged to the man she loved? The same woman that berated her for what she did to him?

Her stomach churned uncomfortably. But she wouldn't hide. She nodded, passing it off as though Olesya's answer contented her as she followed her out and kept pace with her to the café. With a nod of genuine appreciation and murmur of thanks, she slipped inside and breathed in. It was rare she came to the Peace Café. Not because she didn't want to, but, that there were other things that captured her attention.

Olesya ordered first, allowing the tiny woman at her side to make up her own mind. Since it was likely Arianna would brew tea later in the night for them...

Her gaze lifted, quietly contemplative, and she placed her own: "I would appreciate a lemonade, please and thank you."

She enjoyed the fresh taste of citrus. And considering there were no more processed packets of chemicals, she knew she would enjoy the fresh juice.

'...lemon and orange groves. Apples. We should try to add more fruit. I do not know if we would be able to get our hands on grapes...and the trees would take a few years unless we managed to find some to transplant...' Always working, her mind clicked away as her eyes brightened a little at the path she was considering. She looked up at Olesya, a little more reserved. Still careful, still cautious, and still watching. She couldn't deny there was a small ball of growing tension in her abdomen, and her heart gave a fluttered kick.

[Your Mom~]

"Good choice, their lemonade is superb. I need the high octane though."

Making small conversation, something Les would nto have been capable of months ago, or even weeks ago. She had been incredibly reserved since returning to society after her...well, after the asylum. This was mostly due to the fact that the didnt trust anyone. David played a part in breaking down those walls, telling her she needed to be honest and open. She needed to trust that her own people wouldn't hurt her.

It was a difficult thing to do, but she was working on it.

Once the drink was in her hand, she let Kiyr over to a couch near the fron window. A couch, not a table. It was more relaxed, even if she didn't feel it. She'd let the blonde sit down and possibly take a sip of lemonade before speaking.

"I know this is weird. It's beyond weird, so I figured I'd just call it was it is to get it out of the way."

No use in trying to pretend that they weren't at odds with each other, there was no point in hollow pleasantries. However, Olesya wasn't too sure they'd be this antagonistic if a certian factor weren't involved. In fact, she didn't know anything about this woman besides the work she did, and the work she did was pretty good.

On top of that, it was good, as in kind. Selfless. Thoughtful. All characteristics that Olesya couldn't possibly hate.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry...I know I haven't been the nicest or most honest or most even tempered person, and there are definitely reasons for it. However...er, I guess they don't work for me anymore. No, I know they don't. I was alone for a few years, like a lifetime, and I closed myself off to absolutely everyone, because it was the only way I could stay in one piece. It took me some time to realize that I'm not alone anymore, that I can trust people. It's been a hard lesson. So...I'm sorry for being, well...a bitch."

She really didn't have a better way to describe it.

[Kyrie Blaze]

"I normally have enough energy as it is...I doubt I would sleep if I had some, now." Kyrie responded, quiet and soft. Her fingers curved around the cool glass and, picking it up, she followed Olesya to the place she was obviously leading them to with a small sip. There was a crushed lemon segment in the glass, the splash of colour bright amongst the slightly opaque water. Whatever sweetener was in this was subtle, giving the lemonade a bit more of a kick.

This was strange. But, she sat down, sitting straight but not rigidly...and had she not looked relaxed aside from proper posture...it would have been much easier to note she sat more towards the front edge of the couch cushion, rather than sinking back. She took another sip of the lemonade, savoured the taste, and blinked. Her gaze turned to Olesya as she spoke, and blinked rapidly a few times. But she nodded for her to continue. She was wary, but not antagonistic like she had partially been that day. She had accepted the way things were. She didn't like it, necessarily, but in her acceptance she was courteous. Her distaste was towards Olesya's actions - that she had hurt David, and deeply - and not entirely towards the woman, herself.

She took the words in...and yet a faint tinge of pink touched her cheeks at the blunt swear at the very end. She cleared her throat, suddenly awkward. She had expected worse...the blonde took a few moments to mull over the words and her feelings. The truth was...

"Ahh...I thank you for apologizing, and, I accept it and forgive you, as well... I can and could empathize with how you must have felt--it was not long before that, that...I found out about the two of you, on my own." It hadn't been long before that she had cried before him, because it had hurt--hurt that she hadn't known. That she had held hope after all that had been... "And I am sorry that I had been blunt. Perhaps even harsh at the time... I was doing what I thought was right, for...for many reasons. Mostly for him, but not only for him."

She watched Olesya quietly, taking in her reaction. Gauging, but not judging. She was watching and speculating, trying to make sense of this...this 'new' woman that was not screaming her reasons she was using as a crutch to stop from rising above where she was, keeping herself from challenging herself and stepping into the - terrifying, at times - unknown.

[Your Mom~]

"Yeahhh..."

Olesya agreed, a slight bitterness to her tone, not at Kiyr or David, but at the situation in general. There was fault in many places: Olesya being closed off, David not telling her, Olesya leaving, David leaving, Kiyr's involvement. She knew nothing of their relationship and didn't care to. It would just be asking for rouble, an it was something she didn't want to do.

"I wanted to explain to you...why I was the way I was. Because I would like you to understand me more as a person and as your fellow Dragon."

Due to their positions, Les and Kiyr were obviously working in the same circles quite a lot. It was time to clear out the bad blood in order to move forward as a unit.

"I'm sure you know, I'm an experiment. I was one of the students kidnapped from 259 and tortured in Barker's quest to create a super soldier. We were kept in cells and forced to fight each other day and night. We were starved, deprived of sleep, beaten...I faced the alphas and betas...the original tests...they were so horribly disfigured, they werent even human. They were inmates, and when Barker ran out of them, he turned to us. It was...a very dark time."

She paused to take a sip of her coffee to quench her parched throat. She didn't like talking about it, but David had told her to be open and Dr. Twist had told her to embrace her past. Each time became a little more easier, because she was no longer holding the pain alone.

"I thought I escaped unscathed. But the negative effects of the chemicals were latent and came slowly, sneaking up on me like a shadow. I became more belligerent, more impulsive, more immoral. Then, I'd wake up in an alley or on the beach and not know how I got there, with blood on my hands. Eventually, I lost myself completely. I became a m-monster."

Her voice caught, but she cleared her throat and continued.

"All of my friends were gone. I don't know what happened to them but they all left one by one. Maybe they moved, maybe they grew tired of me, maybe I hurt them. I don't know. All I know is I was completely alone and mad. All of my past memories were surpressed, I didn't know who I was. I referred to myself as Ophelia, the woman from Hamlet, the madwoman. But one night, when I returned to Long Beach, I ran into David in a club, and we fought on the roof. He called me by my given name, and it was like a flood gate. Everything came rushing back, and I was faced with these two realities, and so completely shocked and disgusted with myself, because I didn't know which was the real me. Was I a saint? Was I a monster? Was I both? I wound up self medicating to numb them both, and became No One. It was the absolute darkest time of my life."

She paused, her voice soft. She hoped that Kiyr understood that this was something she didnt offer everyone, a glimpse inside her armor to the mess within.

"I got picked up by the police, booked, and sent to an asylum to rot. A man by the name of Twist found me and cured me. He was a former employee of Barkers, he'd helped create the serum in the first place, and was able to neutralize it from futher damage. But the damage that had already been done...I had forgotten how to feel. How to trust. I had to relearn it."

And there is was, the reason for her coldness. For her temper. For her distance. Her inability to trust her brothers and sisters.

"They say there's five senses, but I think they're wrong. The sixth is emotion, the inability to feel is just as disabling as losing any of the other five."

Now that she'd given her speech, laying her bleeding heart on the table, she looked to Kiyr, trying to read her expression. What would she do next? Truly forgive her? Call her a liar? Would it impact anything at all?

[Kyrie Blaze]

The blonde nodded, slowly, as Olesya said she wanted to explain. To tell her story. Instead of refusing and disrespecting her, the blonde nodded and quietly resumed drinking her lemonade. She didn't have to say anything, but the times where the white-blonde paused, she would watch with a sympathetic gaze.

That sympathy was not faked.

Kyrie did, indeed, feel for Olesya. It couldn't have been easy. Would Kyrie have turned out the same way, herself? Not likely--and not because she perceived herself better at all, but that everyone's path was their own and it would not be the same for Kyrie to have walked down the path Olesya had been forced on. Kyrie had walked her own path, and aside from minor characters she hadn't even called friends, she had been utterly alone until Mathew had picked her up just over a year ago.

Yet, she was sill sympathetic, because she had empathy. Too much, some would say, because she leaned on it to understand people.

And she understood far too well, too many times.

"Seven, perhaps...as the sixth is rumoured to be intuition. Gut instinct, if you prefer. But I can agree. I still believe..." She tilted her head, looking at Olesya. She was not being harsh. Her gaze and tone and manner were all soft and still sympathetic, but she was being honest and upfront all the same. "I still believe you were using it as a crutch out of fear. Fear of the unknown, of what would happen and what you would possibly 'become' and how people saw you if you opened up and started to trust and truly feel again. There is nothing wrong with fear itself...the problem lies when it controls you in such ways. So I do not believe you truly 'forgot' how to feel--trust, yes, absolutely."

She swivelled the glass between her fingers, turning it slowly as her fingers walked along the smooth surface. To learn to trust again, she was very familiar with. It had been a struggle between wanting to and not wanting to, out of fear of getting hurt again. But...

"It could be, still, that I am wrong on that...but it is what I believe, nevertheless. Even so, that does not mean that I do not feel for you, or that I do not understand that sharing that with me was likely difficult. So...thank you."

She thought over...sharing a bit of herself, in turn. It seemed almost fitting. But for now, she would give Olesya time to settle, and her own mind time to sort through the information further. She took another sip of the lemonade that was quickly dwindling to the last quarter of the glass.

She wanted to savour it, still.

[Your Mom~]

Les nodded, agreeing that intuition was an important sense as well. When people 'had no common sense' or 'lacked street smarts,' it eas that gut feeling that told you something about the world around you that wasnt quite tangible.

She frowned slightly when Kiyr said she was using it as a crutch, and before that would have been enough to send Olesya skyrocketing in anger. But now...she took it with a grain of salt. Didnt she retreat into her den of nothingness when it became too hard to bear? She was safe within herself, no one could hurt her. And bow she was emerging from her shell, more vulnerable than ever but stronger for it.

"Thank you...Im glad you at least understand. I was incredibly selfish and short sighted when you confronted me. I wasnt myself, so i have a lot of making up to do."

[Kyrie Blaze]

Olesya had, in the little blonde's opinion, passed that test. She watched her expressions change, from frowning all the way until she spoke...and found it within herself to accept that criticism without blowing up.

Just another reason Kyrie hadn't spoke of it when she confronted her.

She was silent for a moment or two before she spoke, leading in to...giving in return.

"Neither of us are the exactly the same people we were--not entirely, and especially not the same as before the world itself was changed with the actions of Sean Barker and those behind him, but that is not a bad thing. We have...grown." Some part of her heart twinged and clenched as she spoke. Not out of anxiousness, but truth. She saw that--so... She shook her head, just slightly. "My life before that happened was - maybe not simple - sweet. Filled with laughter and love. I have a large family--my parents and four siblings with aunts and uncles and grandparents overseas. I flew under the radar, completely, in the CPS. My family is my joy...it always had been. When the bombs fell, four of them died; my younger siblings and myself lived."

Her gaze seemed to, instead of losing focus as she relived the memories, bored into Olesya's own. Fierce...yet utterly serene.

"We dug them out of the house we had only moved into a couple months prior and fired their bodies. Later, my younger siblings perished, as well...and I cremated them, myself. My family is my joy, Olesya, and I went without family or friends for years...until Mathew scooped me up. Now, the Dragons are family as well--and that was not without its own struggle. I will protect them by whatever means I see necessary, especially with my own life--especially those members I love."

She didn't speak on what came after. The essential core of herself--the things and beliefs her family both taught and instilled upon her were exactly the same. The only difference was that she would kill, bleed, and die for them, now.

[Your Mom~]

A small, sad, smile drifted over Olesyas features as Kiyr mentioned having a large family. Olesya could relate, having had three brothers and sisters herself.

"My family passed away too, at least as far as I can tell. Ive never found them."

Her mother, father, Melody, Darien, Gabriella...Olesya had been unable to find hide nor hair of any of them. The last tine she'd seen them, they visited her in the asylum when she was first found and incarcerated to confirm her identity. Their disappointed and scared faces were burned into her memory.

"We have something in common, our family. The Dragons. You saved my life when you could have just let me die out there. Thats a sacrifice Ill never forget, and never even begin to repay. Thank you. Every breath I take is because of you, and your kind heart. Never lose that."

Another smile. Had things been different, would the two of then had been friends? If they had met in another place and another life, without their hearts standing between them, Olesya thought they could have been.

[Kyrie Blaze]

The blonde blinked her big blue eyes.

"You are welcome. I think there is, however, something you need to understand. Harm to you is harm to him, and harm to him is not only harm to me, but harm to us all. It would be the same for anyone else. Harm to one is harm to all...because each of the Dragons are my family. That is simply the logic behind it. And I will never leave a member of my family for any reason."

In fact, she went back for the bodies of the dead Core that were slain with Olesya on her negotiations. She went to get them and bring them back, because she would not tolerate disrespect from a rival gang to them.

To leave Olesya to die would have been petty and gone against her beliefs--against the very core of who she was...and she wouldn't have tolerated that from herself at all.

Her eyes softened.

"I hope I never will lose it..." There was a ghost of a smile in answer to Olesya's upon her lips.

[Your Mom~]

Kiyr stuck by her morals no matter what, upholding her honor and integrity. Olesya had been like that once, back in high school before the experimental drugs ruined her mind and body. She'd been the saint of 259, protecting the weak and promoting unity, lending a helping hand to anyone who needed it.

Back then he couldn't imagine compromising her morals even the slightest bit. When the drugs corrupted her mind, she became the one thing she swore she'd never become...a monster. She hurt countless people. Used them. Killed them. When the reality of what she'd done hit her, it broke her. If she didn't have her morals, what did she have?

"It took me a very long time to come to terms with what I'd done. You're a stronger person than me for keeping to your morals despite everything you've been through, and for that I respect you, a lot."

Kiyr embodied the pure goodness that Olesya felt she'd lost all those years ago. She was what Olesya had aspired to be, which explained why David had found her so attractive. Why have what's broken and ruined when you can have what is morally pure and unblemished?

Before Olesya would have hated Kiyr for that, for being what she couldn't be. Now, she simply understood and accepted it. In fact, she felt the need to protect it. She didn't want Kiyr to have to go through what Olesya did, she wanted to keep that moral wholeness in tact. It was a precious commodity these days.

"Thank you for making me part of your family, and I will do my best to return the honor."

I owe you.

[Kyrie Blaze]

"...not always..." Kyrie shook her head with her murmur.

No, not always.

She had done what was needed to survive those years she was alone, yet had tried to keep some semblance of integrity. Mathew picking her up was, without a doubt, one of the best things to happen to her after the bombs fell. There were others, most of which came in the form of people...or events that brought people back into her life.

Her eyes flicked up to Olesya at her trailing words...and she blinked quickly a few times, her gaze falling back to her glass with a nod or two.

"You are welcome."

She blinked a few more times, brow drawing together with the motion, then eased her facial muscles back to be relaxed once again before finishing the lemonade that still lingered in the bottom.

[Your Mom~]

Olesya felt at peace, sitting here with Kiyr, probably for the first time in regards to this woman. When she'd first met Kiyr, she felt collision in their personalities because she felt like she was looking at a ghost of herself. Then the David element came into play, wedging a wall between them. Now, the wall wasn't entirely down, but at least there was a window.

Les checked the time, finishing off her coffee and setting the cup on the table. The barista would come get it. She climbed to her feet.

"I need to go pick up Maddie from her tutor's. It was nice talking to you. I hope to...keep working on this."

She said sincerely. She wasn't entirely sure what 'this' was. It wasn't friendship, there was still a lot standing between them. Perhaps its was just being comfortable around each other.