How do I fix it? [Kaar]

[Stevie-Rae]

I paced in front on Mr. Kaar's office. I needed to ask him what to do now. I needed to see what i was supposed to do. I was supposed to be protecting the student body, instead i had just made myself the big bully. I didn't want to be that person. I wanted to be better than that. I wanted to be the hero this city Captain school needed. So far, I was doing horribly. I needed training. Guidance. The only person here who would actually listen to me now was Kaar.

So here i was. Pacing like a coward. Hoping he would still listen to me, and maybe guide me. I stopped pacing and turned to face the door. Squaring my shoulders i took the one step i had between myself and the door. It felt like it lasted forever. I raised my hand and knocked on the door. The sound was deafening. I waited what felt like an eternity. What would i say? What would i do? How would he react? I felt like a small child squaring up to a muay thai fighter. What was i thinking? I needed his help. I willed him to open the door.

Mr. Kaar

[Mr. Kaar]

Kaar... Was not in his office, Victor had been out and about doing some investigations before returning dragging two students by the ankles, each pretty beat to shit. Looking to the new S.H.C.P Captain at his door he would drop the kids and walk over opening the door and waving her inside, before going to his phone and dialing someone on the phone.

"Two more... Yeah... Instigators... Will do."

He'd hang up and look to Stevie.

"What?"

He obviously didn't talk much.

[Stevie-Rae]

I was completely taken by surprise. He wan't in his office at all. As i spun around, i eyed the two and then looked at Kaar.

"Uhm... I was just hopin to... Uh. That is... I needed some advice and it seems thayat you are the only one I can come to."

I looked down at my hands. I didn't really think he'd help, but he was my last and only hope. I probably looked pathetic to him. He didn't have time for this. Why did i even bother?

"If I am bothering you, or came at a bad time, I kin laeve." I suggested.

[Mr. Kaar]

Victor stared silently for a few moments.

"No, now is good. Tell me whats bothering you."

Sounded a little bit military in his stern vocal work.

[Stevie-Rae]

I continued to look at my hands, unsure. I looked up at him before stealing a glance around the room.

"Do you mind if i close the door?"

[Mr. Kaar]

Victor would shake his head at her.

"No go ahead."

He would wave a hand to dismiss her insecurity... Like it was that easy.

[Stevie-Rae]

I wasn't sure where to start. As i closed the door, i'd take a deep shaky breath. Sitting down in the chair, i'd just start talking.

"I don't thin k i can lead the students like i am. I feel like i am just one more fight from being a bully. I don't want to be like that. I just moved to get a new start and i have already failed my parents. I just wanted to be able to protect people AND be able to fight. I love fighting but what i did... It was wrong. I know it was wrong, but at the time, i just wanted... I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him and everyone else see that i was stronger. Stronger than anyone else. I know i shouldn't have, but i did. How do i make it better? How do i fix it?"

It felt so good to finally let all that out. I finally got to release all the negative feelings. I expelled them and there they were. I didn't care if he took away my position, i'd just get it back. I knew i was right for it. I had just made a mistake. One i would never make again.

[Mr. Kaar]

Victor would listen, his blank gaze never faultering in the slightest. When she finished and seemed to look at him expectantly he would simply nod.

"You don't fix it, you adapt. A mistake is simply that, a mistake. Learn from it, adapt, be better. Emotionally that isn't how it works, but it's a start."

[Stevie-Rae]

I wanted to be mad. I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to say he was wrong and that i was wrong for it. But, yet again, he was right. Damn him. He could have been less heartless about it.

"How do i get the school to trust me as her Captain?"

[Mr. Kaar]

Victor would raise an eye brow.

"Emily is this schools Captain. You are the constant reminder that no power in this school is absolute. If you want to prove to everyone that you are the one for this job, then do it. Go out there, end hostile actions, give detentions, bring down problem people."

Victor would shrug.

"If they don't see it once you've busted your ass for it, then that is their problem."

[Stevie-Rae]

I nodded silently, digesting what he told me. After a few moments, i looked back up.

"Thank you. I'm... Not a bad person. I just get weird sometimes. I needed this. Thank you." I paused and cleared my throat as if to clear the air. "Do you have any orders for me?" I stood up, ready to leave. If he said no, id leave. If not, i'd just stand there and wait.

[Mr. Kaar]

Kaar would nod as she spoke, until she asked about orders.

"Yes. This job isn't one easily done alone. Recruit."

[Stevie-Rae]

I looked back at him for a minute before i spoke.

"I have a few in mind. Should i bring them by?"

I still wasn't sure about protocol here.

[Mr. Kaar]

Victor nodded.

"I'll sign off on them, but in the end it's your call."

[Stevie-Rae]

I nodded again.

"What after that?"

I needed to know what i needed to do. All this one step planning was kind of getting on my nerves. I could handle more than one task at a time.