I just want to give up.

[valekin]

Current issues and why I'm self-loathing.

Mental illness
-Schizofrenia
-Possibly bi-polar
-Acute Anxiety
-Depression

Stress
-Fucking school.
-I'm mentally retarded at math, therefore I'll fail it this year, and the next, and the next, and the next.
-I feel like I'm falling so far behind because I keep getting sick, and I can't catch up. Therefore I'll fail.
-Physical illness

My dad says he wants a relationship with me, but he wants me to seek that relationship when I was the one that was wronged. He destroyed our relationship, I was only twelve, I couldn't have possibly provoked it knowingly. Now he's putting the blame of all my problems on my mother, which makes me feel guilty.

Guilt issues
-I've had a run in with the FBI, and it wasn't fun. (saving my soul issue.)
-I've got serious moral issues with myself.




On the bright side:
I got my braces off on monday, and saturday is my jp.

That's about all I have going for me.

I live such a sad existence.

[Jenna Scorn]

Ah, honey.
Come on now.

Don't feel so bad.

you have me added on myspace, if you ever feel like talking just send me a message.

And if you really need someone to talk to just send me a PM on here and I'll give you my MSN.

[Winters]

As a guy... it sounds like you need something to channel your aggression on, and something you can justifiably get angry at.

I can't really give you any advice in truth, because I'd be only giving 3rd-person thoughts, on a situation I don't know intimately, so, I'll stick to this:

Find something healthy the drains you physically. Something you can put your passion into, physically and mentally. 259 is here to support you, and we won't be particularly anal, if you have to take a hiatus. You know that. Or should.

Hang in there man. When at the bottom of the well, where else do you have to climb?

I mean, look at the girl from The Ring. She has plenty of practice climbing up and being pushed back in. I'd add in a few 'inspirational quotes', but that would probably make me look more like an insincere ass, since I probably don't know the full gravitation of what you're saying.

Good luck man. *pats shoulder*

[John]

When I was in the loony house I had lots of time to spend thinking about stuff. Lots and lots of time, but thats besides the point.

As Winters said you need a focus, you need to find one single thing and completely focus on it. It has to be taxing, mentally and physically draining you. nothing that can be debated, nothing that can cause you to scratch your head in deep hard concentration. As these cause stress and will most likely piss you off too much.

I took up Martial Arts, I started studying philosophy and making my own. Though all of ym philosophies revolve around fighting, there are a few that can be stretched to fit the regular stuff. But thats just what I did. consider it if you want, but philosophy and certain things along those lines will deffinitly drain you physically and mentally.

First oen to go for if you do is Plato. everyones first should of been Plato.

[Winters]

Seriously though, don't feel bad.

[chihiro]

Oh, Chris!

I'm not much for talking unless I really get on a roll, but if you ever need a virtual ear or random bits of advice when I'm fatigued and oddly philosophical (Alan knows) you can always come to me. I have you on myspace too!!! ;D


Um...I wouldn't take quotes from the Ring though...thats an insanely morbid movie. I'd try 'Little Miss Sunshine' where even though the little girl was incredibly outnumbered by the plastic mini barbies, she still got up onstage and did that incredibly disturbing strip tease her grandfather taught her and eveyone danced on the stage and lived happily ever after the end.

Feel better soon Chris, we're here for you! <3