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Post by moto on Aug 10, 2006 0:28:00 GMT -8
Well, i've seen some pretty cool stuff here, so i'm going to put some poem here. I think I shall put four all together. Tell me what you think of them. I do not write poems alot, hence there only being four. I liked them. I hope you do too.
Roger Naipaul.
(Don’t Ask)
Why all this happened in the first place, I don’t know,
Right after I had to go
On a long bus ride.
Naipaul (the author) was a man I seldom saw until
Gladly, I came to a mill.
Leaving the bus to go up the hill
Yelling the name ‘Naipaul’!
Roger was his first name, learned
I as we met by the mill on the hill.
Gumbo is his favorite food,
Healthy gums his trade.
Then he got in a foul mood,
Eventually spontaneously combusted then
Died.
While I buried Mr. Roger Naipual, I asked myself
‘How could such a man die?’
On that moment I figured out
‘Ovals are to blame’!! Then I had to
Pause the game, and eventually
Stopped.
___________________________
The first of four, and possibly the only non serious poem i've done. It hides a message that might not make sence. Who can find it first?
P.S.: you may in fact ask questions.
____________________________
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Post by moto on Aug 15, 2006 14:48:11 GMT -8
#2! Read!
Led A Life Worth Burning For.
Now as I lay broken
Everything starts to slow.
Vengeance is bitter
Even with good reason.
Remember me my friends.
(I wonder now;)
Would the stars move if you asked them?
Imagine if they did!
Living my life would corrupt them!
Leave your sins, they do no good.
(Because of my choice,)
I lay with no purpose.
(So)
Down in the pits of my hell,
Ignominiously burning is my fate.
Everyone must know that now...
NEVER WILL I DIE
Ever would you remember what I say so
Never will you share my fate,
Down in such an evil place.
____________________________
I might actually redo this one... I've thought up some better stuff.
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Aureus
Veteran
Ghost[M:8240]
Here's to the memory, but if it's not killing me, it doesn't bother me
Posts: 937
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Post by Aureus on Aug 15, 2006 15:13:52 GMT -8
Very...interesting. Mostly because of the...off beatness of it all. Keep it up.
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Post by moto on Aug 15, 2006 15:27:42 GMT -8
Beatness? can you explain?
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Post by Mitsuki Park on Aug 15, 2006 17:19:27 GMT -8
xD Usually, poetry has a beat to it. Like the standard AABA, or ABAB style. Your poetry is offbeat, which means it's like ABCD, or ABCB, which makes it unique and interesting to read. (: I haven't seen much of that kind of poetry, and it's nice to see some once in a while. Nice job xD
-kiHyuN.
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Post by moto on Aug 15, 2006 17:24:06 GMT -8
I understand now...
Ya, Most of my poems are off beat, and that is the best part in my opinion. I'll post my Sestina now. Its pretty cool.
__________________________________
Talk With A Psychiatrist
They said I was hurting Myself.
They only viewed the broken Skin.
Didn’t look deeper or ask Questions.
Shunned the Truth.
Acknowledged the Guessed.
Oh so Typical.
Who, or what, is so typical?
You should be asking ‘Am I myself’?
Is everything they acknowledged guessed?
Or is it that you’re only looking at their skin?
What is truth
when there is no exchange of questions?
They don’t allow me the pleasure of questions!
They are always acting typical!
So their denigrating actions are my truth.
So I ask ‘Who is myself?’
And ‘is this my skin?’
Because what I am is different from their guesses.
So you guess
because you cannot question?
They judge you on your skin,
so you call them ‘typical’?!
You are not ‘myself’!
‘myself’ is not your truth!
My truth?
My ‘myself’ surely is not guessed,
but how can my ‘truth’ not be ‘myself’?
Can I ask you a question?
Am I acting typical?
What shows with my skin?
It shows in your skin
that you have different truths.
Do you understand that you were becoming typical?
You were guessing.
And you were incapable of questions.
So no more was your ‘myself’.
Now I understand; I was being typical and guessed.
My skin didn’t show my truth.
Now I must ask questions to find myself.
___________________
I'll explain what a Sestina a little bit later. Sestinas are easy for me.... or at least this one was.
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Post by chihiro on Aug 16, 2006 7:36:28 GMT -8
Very nice, I like the way you can capture the reader's attention, even if they don't understand part of it ('the oval's are to blame!'). It makes it interesting, while leaving a bit of mystery leaving the reader craving more. Very well written.
And if I'm not mistaken, I do believe the term is 'freeverse,' a poem that doesn't have a predetermined beat (known as a meter) or rhyme pattern (ABAB, etc). It's my favorite style, as it doesn't force the poet into a conformed writing pattern, and depending on your own style, allows the creativity to flow better. *shrug*
This random tid of information was brought to you by Creative Writing class, which is actually one of the first electives in ms/hs cut when the school's budget is tight..unfortunately. Don't let the creativity die out!
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