Developmental Desperation (Josiah)

[Siege]

“You touch me as well”

She smiled, it was nice to know that even after that first and second days they had spent at each others throats, that she had still wormed her way into his heart somehow. She stayed there in his arms, feeling him hold her loosely and yet close at the same time. She kissed the skin of his chest, and snuggled into him. There was something about him. Something that made her smile, that made her happy, that made her laugh and enjoy life like she never had before. There was something special about the way he touched her hair from time to time, or kissed her forehead. It was something that she was enjoying more and more with each passing day.

“Your looking a bit better now…..we should go and try and get something in you before it gets any later”

“If I can…I’ll try and play your song one last time before I need to sleep again

"You're right, you must be tired, and here I am standing here like an idiot."

She pulled back and let him get the violin and bow, she remembered all too well when he had told her she was not allowed to touch the instrument. So she wouldn't. But she took his hand again and walked slowly beside him as they entered the house again. She closed and locked the door behind them, before she helped him to the living room. He was right, she was famished now,and went to the fridge grabbing the pizza that she hadn't eaten yet, and sat down. If he wanted to play she would certainly listen.

"Oh here."

She placed the two pills he didn't take earlier in his hand.

"I"ll help you sleep." she promised kindly.

There was something more between them, it seemed to grow every day. It seemed to grow stronger, deeper, a foundation growing that would be unsurpassed. That was if something developed into deeper than the friendship they had. If he played she would listen, she loved her song, she knew that no matter how often she heard it she would melt each time and she couldn't wait until he finished it. When she was done eating, and he was done playing if he had, she helped him into bed and helped him get comfortable.

"Sleep well."

She kissed him right between the eyes and moved upstairs to go shower and change into something more comfortable to sleep in. She knew he would be out in seconds. But if he was still awake when she came back, clean and in red silk, she would slid into bed with him, to keep the nightmares away, with a small light she would begin to read one of his books, one of all five he owned, that she had borrowed.

It wouldn't be til about 4am that she finally passed out, half her book finished, it having fallen limply on her chest, as she lay there beside him.

[Josiah]

He did indeed play for her once they were back inside, she seemed to love the somg that she and her mannerisms had inspired and now that she knew it existed he planned to work extra hard to finish it soon just so she would be able to hear what it was he truly saw in her. He never spoke about his emotions, he barely acted as though he had any, but in his music they tended to sing through the strings of his instrument far better then he would ever be able to verbalize them.

Soon after she ate and he was done playing tired because of his recovering state she helped him lay down. She left him after that and he fought to stay awake for a bit longer, his eyes closing though just as he saw her in her red silk outfit coming down the stairs. He was only awake enough to feel her slip into bed nothing else.

He slept like the dead, his body in a deep recovery process looking to heal as quickly as it could. He slept the entire night, even through the early morning till about 8 30 then his eyes opened He turned to his side, she was passed out with a book in her grasp laying on her chest. He took the book and moved it to the side, folding the page so she would not miss it when she woke.

He didn’t want to wake her, and so slowly he got out of bed, his body achy but the pain had finally reach a level were his mind could over power it . His dizziness had faded as well which made the trip to the restroom all that much easier.

Relived and awake he could not help but look out side and noticed the ocean, swells had come in that would make any surfer drool….and he was indeed one of them.

He gave a grin, he was feeling better after all and he was the kind of person always looking to challenge himself. He would make those waves his bitch no matter what!

He went upstairs quietly and began to do a few things. He removed his bandages, every last one from his legs and his arms to the ones on his back, and with skillful hands undid the stitches she had given him. He bleed lightly but it wasn’t horrible. He took medical crazy glue from his medicine cabinet and sealed up all that he could, it would hold better under his movements, keep the sea water out and if it popped it would be better then the stitches poping and ripping his skin .

By 9: 20 he was in a tight fitting wet suit and outside the house, his boards all in a shed just outside of his home. He went for the long board, hoping it would compensate for his off set balance. With the safety band attached to his wrist he was paddling out slowly by 9: 30. A certain determination in his crimson eyes. He had just beat death, now it was time to beat mother nature and her raging ocean

[Siege]

Siege stirred as he got up and left the room, but she didn't wake. She was tired, she had stayed up late to make sure that he was alright. Partly reading her book, partly touching his face, partly curling up beside him and feeling him snuggling subconsciously into her. A smile on both their faces. When she finally passed out it was not because she had decided to go to bed, but instead because she had decided to let herself close her eyes for just a moment and ended up never opening them again. As he moved out of the bed she felt nothing, sleeping too deeply to do anything even when he took the book from her fingers and left. She continued to sleep as he got dressed and tended to himself, though she seemed to miss him because she had moved and snuggled into his pillow when he passed her by again heading for the front door.

She would sleep a little longer, til she woke up with a start. Siege wasn't sure what had woken her, it sounded as though the door had closed but no, that was silly. She looked to her side to see Josiah gone. That must have been what she had heard him going to the bathroom. Getting up realizing she had to go she headed up the stairs rubbing her tired eyes sleepily. But the bathroom was empty. Siege shrugged and did what she needed to til she noticed the bandages in the trash can and the crazy glue sitting on the counter. Her eyes narrowed, moving to his room he wasn't there she rushed to hers, and saw what she feared. He was in the water. Rushing down the stairs she grabbed one of his blazers from the coat rack and shoved her arms in it before she exited the house, her feet pounding on the wooden porch, down the stairs and stomping their path through the cool morning sun towards him.

She was not sure, if it was that he saw her standing there on the beach, obviously pissed with her arms crossing her chest, or if he was just not quite ready for waves like this. But she watched in absolute horror as he wiped out crashing into the waves. She gasped, lurching for him but there wasn't much she could do, these waves were something she could not swim in and she couldn'teven see him. Only his board floating in the waves. Tears ran down her cheeks as she screamed his name before he popped back up to the surface. Anger and fear flashed alternatively in her eyes as he swam back to shore. Getting up he gathered his board and came onto the bank obviously pleased with hmself.

Siege stalked into the water, partially, up to her calves. Tears streaming down her cheeks as she smacked him right across the cheek hard.

"How DARE you?!" she screamed at him. "Be foolish enough not to care that I might care if you died out there, I might be worried that a fucking idiot like yourself might get it into his obviously underdeveloped MIND to surf two days after he came home NEAR death shot for some unknown REASON. That I did my best to help, that I stayed up late for, nursed, and took care of and THIS! THIS is the fucking thanks I get, when you glue your fucking body shut and put yourself into the most bacteria infested water that ever lived on the earth! You might as well try to drown yourself in radioative fluid!"

She cried out at him, jabbing her finger at the uninjured part of his chest as she let him have it. Tears streaming down her cheeks through it all.

"You can take care of YOURSELF now, you ungrateful bastard!"

With that, she turned with a flourish of water and sand and began to stalk back to the house.

[Josiah]

He challenged the waves and he was shreading them as he had a tendency to do, Surfing at times made him feel alive, it was something he lacked a great deal of the time though he chalked it up to the adrenaline rush the sport seemed to generate. But his rush, and his focus soon faultered as he noticed a spectator one which made his legs feel weak, and sure enough without his balance he was lost to the waves as he had been before in his life.

After being put through a tumble cycle he soon was able to surface and breath, that had sucked with his body the way it was but he was able to push through it at the moment, worrying about pain in the water was something that lead to death and he was not giving the ocean the satisfaction of him becoming a piece of shark shit. He swam in board in tow. When he was about to stand up she was already there in the water her eyes so fierce and hurt at the same time.

*Smack*

His cheek stung as she yelled at him literally crying and shouting at him in this hurt anger which he was finding utterly beautiful though it was not for the reasons one would thing, no these emotions would mean nothing if they were not directed at him and him alone. She yelled at him one last time and began to angrily stalk back to the house.

He could hear a new verse of her song in his head as he began to act, like a roar of beautiful strength. His feet took him to her as she stalked through the sands of the beach his wet hand grabbing his blazer and her wrist as he suddenly spun her around.

It all happened so suddenly, there was no warning, no gentle hesitation, he just did it. Holding her body to his own he kissed her. He had to do it, and through it he was glad he did. It was her that he was unsure of

[Siege]

She began to stalk off, walking angrily through the sand kicking at mounds here and there to send a shower of sand all over the place. She was so mad, she fully intended to go upstairs and lock herself in her room for a while and see how he liked that kind of treatement. But she never even got close to the house, she felt his hand grip her wrist and spin her around, so that she was in his arms in a second. She was about to speak, when he closed the distance between them, and she felt him kissing her. For a moment, she was frozen, and then slowly as his passionate and hungry lips moved against hers, she began to kiss him back. Her hands slowly rising to move around his neck, and into his hair.

This was a complete shock to the young girl. He hated physical stuff, and more than that, she had never imagined that she would mean enough to him that he would kiss her like this. His hands clenched at her. She could feel them bunching up the blazer on her lower back as if to grab at her body while their lips kissed like they had wanted to for weeks and yet neither owner would let it happen. Siege moaned ever so softly, her heart blossoming and bursting in her chest. Siege decided to take this passionate kiss of his one step further, and gently pushed her tongue into his mouth. Feeling his grip on her body tighten, she clung to him as they kissed heatedly there on the beach in the morning sun. She was so tired, and yet, nothing could tear her away from him at this moment, as they kissed heatedly, as they broke the barrier, and moved past it into something completely new.

Finally, because they needed to breathe, the kiss broke, the couple panting as their eyes opened, both soft and unguarded for the moment. she couldn't stop though, her lips were unwilling to let go of the new connection, and while the kisses she gave him now were just as heated they were not the kind to loose breath over. They were quick but heated kisses, a full grasp of the lips, a slight tongue on the lower lip and pull back only to do it again and again, neither of them able to let go just yet. Her anger, gone at the moment with this new development. Finally it died down with a long kiss, his hand in her hair, her fingers clenching his wet salty locks, before it broke much softer than the passion it had been in the beginning.

With that, her forehead met his, and she sighed softly.

"You idiot." she whispered endearingly. "You got me all wet."

She chuckled, it was a joke, but she was unsure of what to say at this moment. She didn't know if this meant they were a couple now, she was almost afraid to ask considering the few times that they had 'played' together, he hadn't really wanted to talk about it. She was afraid this would be another one of those. There was no need at the moment to ask if she felt the same way, after all, the answer was in her kiss. But she did want to know where this left them.

"How.. are you feeling?"

[Josiah]

Their first kiss was passionate he could not think of a better first kiss, he didn’t even mind that she had added their tongues into the earth shaking event. He was new to all of this but the fact that he kissed her made it clear that he was willing to explore this further, to let their feelings for one another develop to more then what they had originally started at, to let down the shield even if it was just slightly that surrounded his heart. It didn’t not break suddenly even as they gasped for air they still managed a series of smaller passionate kisses, heated in their nature. It was clear by the way she was unwilling to let it end that she had been waiting for this to happen for some time.

When it did finally end her forehead rested against his own softly, she was speaking in whispers her true feeling for him being brought to the light that bathed them even if it was to just a slight degree. She asked him how he was feeling and his eyes looked to her a softness to their gaze.

“That’s kind of hard to answer at the moment” he said in a slight whisper. “A bit achy…and a bit tired” he sighed “But I have a feeling…that is not what you mean” his hands rested on her hips holding onto her.

“I’m feeling….that right now…we need to go inside and talk” he bit his lower lip lightly before letting it go “I think…I’m ready to talk” he said lightly wondering what her reaction would be. He knew he had told her he had not wanted to mention any of the things they had done before but they could not keep going like this, down a dark unknown road without having an idea about what was going on between them.

“Lets go get some coffee”

[Siege]

“That’s kind of hard to answer at the moment”
“A bit achy…and a bit tired”
“But I have a feeling…that is not what you mean”

Siege smiled. His hands slid around her back under the coat to find her silk clad hips. They stared softly into one another's eyes. He was wrong in a way, she had technically meant both ways, but she figured that he would answer whatever he thought she meant, and to her that was fine. Her fingers moved up and touched his cheek, they had passed some sort of barrier, and were now in unknown territory for the both of them so she thought. His lips parted and he began to speak again.

“I’m feeling….that right now…we need to go inside and talk” he bit his lower lip lightly before letting it go “I think…I’m ready to talk”

Her eyes widened, she had certainly not expected that. She had expected for him to run, as he had every other time they had gotten somewhat close physically. But then, there he was surprising her again to tell her that instead of running this time he wanted to confront the situation and was ready to explain and discuss what they should do.

"Alright, lets get you dried off and we can talk."

Of course, she was worried about his wounds, she couldn't tell if he was bleeding inside the wetsuit, she hoped that he wasn't, and she didn'teven know really what crazy glue did to a wound, how the hell you cleaned something like that. He mentioned coffee, she was dead tired, five hours of sleep was not enough, especially since she had been getting so little because of him these past few days. She didn't let go of him though, sliding his arm around her waist, she walked with him. They went upstairs and dropped the board on the porch before going inside, she slid the blazer off, and hung it back up and in the laundry room he stripped his wet suit down while she brought him some clothes to wear, boxers and an undershirt, for now.

And now? She sat on the corner of the sofa bed and he sat in his chair. Her legs crossed in front of her as she watched him waiting for him to begin. This was his show.

[Josiah]

They got inside and got him into some dry clothes. He had checked his wounds, they had stayed closed as he had hoped they would and the ones that had opened had dried out a bit thanks to the salt water. Maybe they would take a dip again later doing so would help to heal his cuts quicker though he doubted she was going to let him outside again today.

Dressed he found himself inside sitting in his chair her on the bed still in her red silk nighty. Silence was over them as they held their coffee looking to one another. This was harder then he thought it would be but it had to be done.

“Siege…I like having you around” he said looking to her “I like spending time with you…even if I find you annoying some times I enjoy those moments as well oddly enough” his eyes looked down to his lap

“I don’t know though…were this is going…how long its going to take me to get there…..or what it is you want…if I could even give you what it was you wanted” He sighed and took a sp from his mug

“What is it…what can I answer for you…anything…just ask it…after yesterday…I think…I know I can trust you no matter what it is” he siad softly to her, whether it was about their physical playing, or about his wounds and why he had been out so late...he trusted her. He wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about his past yet but she did deserve to know about what was going on now…especially since it involved her.

[Siege]

“Siege…I like having you around”

“I like spending time with you…even if I find you annoying some times I enjoy those moments as well oddly enough”

She looked up to find him staring into his lap. Her cup lifted and she took a sip of the liquid caffeine and it burned her tongue slightly. She was glad that he liked having her around because despite his idiosyncracies she enjoyed having him around too. And having a home now, it meant more to him than he could ever know, and he was the only one she let get away with calling her by her actual name from time to time.

"I.. you.. " she stumbled to find the right words. ".. you make.. my days happy.. now."

It was not quite the sentiment she was going for but it would work well enough for now, she couldn't find the right words that she wanted to say. She had s much she wished she could tell him and yet the words would not come.

“I don’t know though…were this is going…how long its going to take me to get there…..or what it is you want…if I could even give you what it was you wanted”

Siege swallowed, and put her coffee to the side as she began to wring the edge of her silk cami out a bit, not because it was damp but because she was nervous. She sighed softly.

"I.. have.. grown .. closer to you since we first met. More so .. recently.. after we spent all this time together I find.. myself.. uhm.. thinking about you .. a lot.. and wishing I could.. be .. more.."

She swallowed loudly as she shifted pulling her legs around to the side of her she sighed and grabbed his pillow from the bed. Wrapping her arms around it tighty she sunk her head into the edge of it with a long sigh, and listened as he continued on. This was probably going to be the most difficult and awkward conversation ever, since they had a great deal to discuss with each other, and now apparently was the time.

“What is it…what can I answer for you…anything…just ask it…after yesterday…I think…I know I can trust you no matter what it is”

"You can ask me anything too." she quickly promised.

Then bit her lip as she thought about her first question.

"Your wounds, they aren't wounds that happen in average Long Beach life. What happened? Where were you so late?"

She figured that she would start with this and work her way to the fact that they were fooling around, and falling for each other. She had many questions and apparently it was Q&A time.

[Josiah]

She was growing closer and wished she could be more, he had a feeling that was it though hearing it for himself did help to put things into a certain light. He sighed, it was kind of scary in a way, he didn’t think he could be that for any one, he was damaged goods after all, he didn’t think himself fit to be touched by another person to be loved or cared for by them. He didn’t think she loved him but she defiantly cared though and that in itself was something he could feel himself wanting to pull away from.

Her first question, it was the one he had been expecting the most, she had been nice enough not to bug him about it but since he was giving her free reign with her question it was bound to happen .

“I was on a job….” His eyes looked to her shouwing their vulnerability, he was giving her a piece of dirt on him that could send him away for life should she want to talk to the police.

“I…I kill people…..for money” Josiah sighed “Normally…I am good at what I do…but they knew in advance some one was coming and prepared…” he sighed looking down to his coffee

“now that you know…it means those feelings you had…their gone now for me aren’t they…you have every right to hate me for something like this”

[Siege]

“I was on a job….”

A what?

Her thoughts flew back to the first day when she and he had shared breakfast. When she had asked him then what he did to earn a place like that, and she recalled he said it was something that wasn't fit for ears. Something along those lines, she couldn't remember the exact words. Her eyes widened, as she watched him waiting for more. Certainly, there was more, to this story than met the eye.

“I…I kill people…..for money”
“Normally…I am good at what I do…but they knew in advance some one was coming and prepared…”

She couldn't help it. Her jaw dropped. It explained so much. Why he only worked late at night, why his jobs never seemed to take over a few hours. Why he came home and immediatly washed clothes and took a shower. She understood now why his house was so meticulously clean, and why he had to have everything just right, so much in his personality began to come together clicking into place. She was going to need time to process this, more time to think about it and she would of course have more questions then.

now that you know…it means those feelings you had…their gone now for me aren’t they…you have every right to hate me for something like this”

"What?"

Her eyes came back into focus, his soft words brought her back from her thoughts as she rose softly. Moving over to him she placed his coffee to the side and gently careful of his wounds sunk into his lap softly. She didn't speak at first, instead she pulled him close for a kiss. But this kiss was loving, affectionate, and soft, the knd that melted the heart and made the soul flutter with the feelings that were growing between the two. There was no tongue, merely love shared between them and their lips, as her fingers brushed along his jawline.

"You jump to conclusions as easily as I do."

She smiled.

"I can't change the way I feel about you. It's been growing since I moved in, and lately, since you've been more open and accepting it's been growing more rapidly." she admitted to him.

She took one of his hands and placed it on her bare thigh just under the silk hem of her night dress. She smiled touching his cheek.

"You underestimate your importance to me, I'm not running away because you have a shitty job. Who would be here to patch you back up? Besides, I've .." she bit her lower lip, having never admitted it before she grunted, "..killed once or twice, I didn'tlike it, but I did it, I was in a gang some while back, before I came here, so.. I"m not as naive as you might think."

She leaned in and placed her head on his shoulder snuggling up a bit.

"Next question. You and me. What.. can we be? I w.. want to be.. your girl.. and.. only yours.. II .. want to be your girlfriend but.. girlfriend seems like such a shitty word. Your.. everything."

"But.. I don't know how you really feel about me, and if you want that too."

[Josiah]

She began to move over to him and he was expecting her to slap him again and leave. But instead she moved his coffee and did something very unexpected. She moved into his lap softly her body resting on his uninjured side, though the pressure was a bit uncomfortable it wasn’t painful. Before anything was said she kissed him softly and passionately very unlike the kiss they had shared outside. Apparently she knew since it had finally been done outside and that he had been the one to initiate it she would be able to kiss him from now on.

Whe it broke she made sure his eyes were looking into her own as she finally spoke. She couldn’t change how she felt about him, he had not thought that would be her answer. It was weird but from the way she spoke it sounded as though while he was growing to accept and like her she was already falling for him.

Taking on of his hands and placing it on her bare thigh he felt the urge to blush again. Ever since she had move in and they had begun touching one another especially the way that they did some times at night he was blushing more and more. Such things, they made him feel uncomfortable and embarrassed but he pushed himself, at times forced himself not to push her away from him.

He wished at times like these he had listened to Boss Haris when he had told Josiah to get out and get familiar with women, he had tried on several occasions to hook Josiah up with girls several years older then him, he had even bought the young man a lap dance once, all had gone horribly. And it was now with Siege he almost wished he had tried harder back then.

She siad she had killed before, amazingly that was not hard to accept from her and the fact that she had been in a gang king of made the premis easier to understand. He remembered what she had done to the poor boy on the roof, She was not a killer by nature, and he only wondered what it was that made her kill the few times she did.

Her next question though, that was the one thing he had trouble with.

“Siege….I…I know what you feel for me” he sighed “but I don’t think I can answer you honestly….I like you, like having you around…and it would make me sad if you move out” his thumb was stroking her bare thigh “But..since you’ve come into my life…I’ve been changing…I know I have,…and I’ve been trying to figure out who it is I am…who I’m becoming…who I want to be” he sighed lightly bitting his lower lip.

“I…I told you once…that I am willing to try but that it would take some time…as it is now…you are everything…because your the only person I care about…but..I’m not sure its in the sense you want” His hand lightly squeezed her thigh.

“I’m willing to call this a relationship…instead of just a living arrangement…to call us a couple…..but that’s the only definite I can give you…I’m sorry if that’s not enough, but given time to open up…maybe I can be that person you can clearly see that I still havn’t realized exists yet”

[Siege]

She listened as he told her that she was already practically his everything. She was the only one that he trusted, and that he loved having her hear. He would be upset if she left, something she didn't intend to do anyway, and that he wanted to keep her here, he loved being closer to her. She listened to everything he had to say, his hand was on her thigh the thumb stroking the taut muscles softly, making her melt into his arms. Her head lay softly on his shoulder,as he held her there in his lap. He didn't seem to mind and he cetainly wasn'tpushing her away. Which meant that he didn't mind either.

“I’m willing to call this a relationship…instead of just a living arrangement…to call us a couple…..but that’s the only definite I can give you…I’m sorry if that’s not enough, but given time to open up…maybe I can be that person you can clearly see that I still havn’t realized exists yet”

Siege smiled. If that was what she could get right now, she would take it. She didn't expect him to confess love to her right now, but she hoped that it would develop one day. She was glad that they could get closer. She wanted to continue kissing him, to bring more and more into their relationship, to develop it more but this was the time for questions.

"I'll take it, I'm not expecting love, Jo, I just want to b your special girl... someone's special girl.."

She looked up at him and smiled as she brushed his salty hair back from his face. She kissed along his jaw softly, taking the chance to enjoy the fact that she was able to be physical with him. And she also wanted him to enjoy himself. She wanted to know if she could turn him on, the way that she wished to.

"Do you have any questions for me?" she asked curiously.

[Josiah]

She said she’d take it that she wasn’t expecting love, but she was lying and he knew it even with the smile she gave him. She wanted love, to be some one special in his life, to be that special girl, if such things did not require love he had a feeling she’d have been special to some one already long before she had meet him.

She began to his along his jawline, it was clear she was enjoying the fact he was allowing her to be physical with him now that he was letting her be herself. Even though it felt good, it felt awkward as well. He knew there would be many times like that now but he was strong and he would face them especially now that he was being forced to.

She asked if her had any question, though he did not know everything he still knew slightly more about her then she knew about him, but she had always been the one willing to talk about herself and try to get him to talk and open up.

“Your numbers…….what do they mean…are they from your gang or something else” he asked curiously, he was not without his curiousities after all

[Siege]

His hand slid up her thigh more, gripping the smoothe muscular flesh in his hand, almost up to the curve of her ass. She continued to torture his jaw, moving down to nibble on his neck. Things she had wanted to do for himfrom time to time, but was unable to do so because he was very strange about touch, something she wanted to ask about before they moved. She loved the way his skin felt under her lips, and the way he seemed to tremble from her attention, which only made her want to continue until he said something about her tattoo making her stop her attention for a moment.

Somehow she had a feeling that would be his first question.

“Your numbers…….what do they mean…are they from your gang or something else”

She pursed her lips.

"No, not from the gang, though I did get the tattoo when I was there. A guy named Roxx did it for me."

Her hand reached up and touched her cheek for a moment. Most people wouldn't have done it, something to remember that, something to remember the past she fought so hard to forget. But there was a reason for it. But more than that, most people didn't tattoo their faces, but she hadn't felt that there was anywhere else to put it. It was a brand. It was her. It was a mark to make her remember.

"It's from the orphanage. I never really had a name there, we were just numbers. There was always a number over our beds, and, mine was 68. I was known as sixty eight for ten years, I really never thought about it. My name, I knew it, but I never really used it."

She swallowed a simple shrug as she pulled back from his neck, and looked down at her lap, hopng he wouldn't stop enjoying the feel of her flesh.

"It was in my gang that I got the name Siege, and I liked it, it was better than sixty eight, and it was better than the stupid excuse for the name my parents gave me before dumping me."

The pain was evident in her voice. Perhaps it was why she wanted him to love her so much. Why she wanted himto hold her and why she desperatly needed to bearound him, why she wanted him to kiss her, and be with her, to make her worthy, to make her someone special.

"Why umm.. don't you like.. touch so much?"