Post by Bastille Amtrum on Aug 21, 2008 20:18:46 GMT -8
Stupid Hormones- Part 2. (of 3)
: Thrush…
Compared to the hyperactive frenzic dreams I had been having about mathew, where everything was a blur or mad emotion, last nights was actually quite pleseant. I had talked to god for a good three hours last night, and told him about how I was no having a good time dreaming about Mathew Amtrum and then worse, having to see him the next day only to have to keep my mouth clamped shut the entire time by his side. Even when he went to touch me I flinched away like a child who had been beaten. He might as well have beaten me up. I would have liked that a lot better.
No last night the dreams changed subjects. A guy I didn’t have any particular romantic feelings toward…just a friend. Of course now I was convinced god was playing tricks on me for fun. The dream had been simple. It was too hot. I was too hot. The heat was over whelming and was frantically deciding weather to strip it and do it that way or keep my decency in the desert and further increase my chances of head stroke. I of course chose…the head stroke.
Lying on the ground as the sand beat my body I thought of ice cream and snow. It didn’t help the incredible fire that not only burned my outside but my inside as well. As I opened my eyes there was Unfettered, or thrush as I was supposed to call him. I backed off and sighed.
“you stuck to?” I had called in a bored and exhausted tone. He said nothing…ok….kind of creepy. I bit my lip and waited. He came closer. Closer. And then he bent down. The next thing I remember it was this refreshing cold feeling. Like lemonade on a hot summer day. It felt so nice and I wanted more. Im a greedy little bitch incase you haven’t noticed.
But all too soon I woke up and then thought the dream through. We hadn’t done anything beyond embracing…but lets just say…I was thinking it even in the dream. Not cool, but at least we didn’t go there, and somewhere in my mind I hoped unfettered didn’t have the ability to read minds.
But all together a very nice feeling and I wasn’t at all afraid to admit I wanted more. I was getting used to admitting this crap by now. Besides…what was one lovey dovey dream? And how hard was it to hide from the public. No one else could possibly be in my head. But still I wouldn’t be able to play my games on Emily and him for a few days until I got a nightmare to revel about again. I was really getting pissed off at god and the fact he had made me a girl. Was it this hard for men. I doubted it now. They could just take a cold shower and then WALLA all better.
But for girls, you had to think and think and think, oh and then you had to try and decipher it. You simply had no choice in the matter. But I found myself marveling over how well….attractive Unfettered was…god I had to stop that….really I did…..
Stop all of this. I would just not sleep. That’s right….just not sleep.
I wondered how his lips tasted. STOP!
I wondered why he felt so nice to hug….. SILENCIO!!!
I wanted to dream of him again……..CRAP, SHUT UP!!!
I wondered if he was as good as Mathew was inside my head……CHRIST BASTILLE!
Yup…that settled it….no more dreaming, no more sleeping for me.
: Thrush…
Compared to the hyperactive frenzic dreams I had been having about mathew, where everything was a blur or mad emotion, last nights was actually quite pleseant. I had talked to god for a good three hours last night, and told him about how I was no having a good time dreaming about Mathew Amtrum and then worse, having to see him the next day only to have to keep my mouth clamped shut the entire time by his side. Even when he went to touch me I flinched away like a child who had been beaten. He might as well have beaten me up. I would have liked that a lot better.
No last night the dreams changed subjects. A guy I didn’t have any particular romantic feelings toward…just a friend. Of course now I was convinced god was playing tricks on me for fun. The dream had been simple. It was too hot. I was too hot. The heat was over whelming and was frantically deciding weather to strip it and do it that way or keep my decency in the desert and further increase my chances of head stroke. I of course chose…the head stroke.
Lying on the ground as the sand beat my body I thought of ice cream and snow. It didn’t help the incredible fire that not only burned my outside but my inside as well. As I opened my eyes there was Unfettered, or thrush as I was supposed to call him. I backed off and sighed.
“you stuck to?” I had called in a bored and exhausted tone. He said nothing…ok….kind of creepy. I bit my lip and waited. He came closer. Closer. And then he bent down. The next thing I remember it was this refreshing cold feeling. Like lemonade on a hot summer day. It felt so nice and I wanted more. Im a greedy little bitch incase you haven’t noticed.
But all too soon I woke up and then thought the dream through. We hadn’t done anything beyond embracing…but lets just say…I was thinking it even in the dream. Not cool, but at least we didn’t go there, and somewhere in my mind I hoped unfettered didn’t have the ability to read minds.
But all together a very nice feeling and I wasn’t at all afraid to admit I wanted more. I was getting used to admitting this crap by now. Besides…what was one lovey dovey dream? And how hard was it to hide from the public. No one else could possibly be in my head. But still I wouldn’t be able to play my games on Emily and him for a few days until I got a nightmare to revel about again. I was really getting pissed off at god and the fact he had made me a girl. Was it this hard for men. I doubted it now. They could just take a cold shower and then WALLA all better.
But for girls, you had to think and think and think, oh and then you had to try and decipher it. You simply had no choice in the matter. But I found myself marveling over how well….attractive Unfettered was…god I had to stop that….really I did…..
Stop all of this. I would just not sleep. That’s right….just not sleep.
I wondered how his lips tasted. STOP!
I wondered why he felt so nice to hug….. SILENCIO!!!
I wanted to dream of him again……..CRAP, SHUT UP!!!
I wondered if he was as good as Mathew was inside my head……CHRIST BASTILLE!
Yup…that settled it….no more dreaming, no more sleeping for me.
