|
|
Post by Mathew Amtrum on Feb 2, 2009 23:15:50 GMT -8
February 02, 2009
11:09PM Fuck, I feel stupid doing this. I actually went to class today, yeah I know rare treat for the teacher. Thankfully he didn't bother me. No one really did anymore. Not about being late or skipping. Not about fighting, well the faculty didn't. Students would now and then. The teachers have to all given up on me. Not that I mind that, who needs them anyways? Bunch of abusive pricks, I lost my respect for the school system a long time ago. Still, every once in a while I find myself going to class. It isn't often that I actually pay attention, but today something the teacher said stuck out at me. They said to write a journal to keep track of your thoughts and life. That it wasn't an assignment, and that we were not expected to turn it in. I kind of shrugged it off at first as something stupid and queer. But then I gave it a bit of thought and I figured it might be a good idea. Who knows maybe it will do me some good in the long run. Even if I do feel like a total fag for writing in this thing like this. Still I guess if I am going to do this I might as well do it. I suppose I will start on my next entry now, and delve in to what makes me me. Hopefully I don't vomit all over you when I realize that I am talking to myself, no not even talking to myself. Writing to myself.... god this is gay. |
|
|
|
Post by Mathew Amtrum on Feb 5, 2009 0:45:08 GMT -8
February 05, 2009
12:13PM Heh, I fell asleep last time. So I never did write another entry. Didn't really see the point as nothing happened to make me want to. But today something interesting struck me. It was lunch time I think... well maybe it was passing period? I don't know, but I was beating up some punk. The kid had the nerve to make eye contact with me!? Can you believe that shit!? One would think he would know how to act around his betters. Anyways as I was beating him up. The kid actually had the nerve to call me a monster. Me, a Monster? I laughed right in his face before smashing it in to a locker. The kid was an idiot. He didn't know what a monster was. What a REAL monster was. If I am a monster it is only because monstrous thing were done. Like everyone I am a product of my environment. This whole school is ripe with people like me. Looking to fight, always fighting. The difference between me and them was simple. I am better at what I do then they are. Because I am the best at what I do I am a monster? I am a monster while the pillars are hailed as heroes? That doesn't even make sense to me. I understand that looking at it from an order versus chaos stand point I would be the antagonist, but that hardly makes me a monster. For I too desire order. I desire a world where fighting would not run rampant as it does now. Where crime is non existent. My methods are no different from the pillars or the school systems? You quash resistance before it grows. You use overwhelming power to stop dissent, so that everyone is too afraid to break the established order. Call it a dictatorship if you want, but if it brought peace then isn't that what matters in the end? Peace that is stemmed from fear is still peace. People that would die from pointless wars will live. And if they are content then they would have nothing to fear. There would be no political parties and wastes of time as people voted. It is impossible for everyone to agree, and that is why it is better for one person to make the decisions so that action can be swift. I don't know, I might be rambling. In the end I suppose it doesn't matter if they think I am a monster. The end justifies the means. And if I am to be condemned then so be it. I gladly take their scorn. I shall drape myself in their fear, adorn myself with their hate, and laugh at their scorn. Yet in my infinite kindness I will someday save them from the hell that this world is slowly becoming. Someday I will rule it all, and then at long last, there will be peace. |
|
|
|
Post by Mathew Amtrum on Feb 20, 2009 19:48:01 GMT -8
February 20, 2009
7:44PM Today was a major victory for me and my cause. Linda destroyed the school captain and Blaze gave up his title. Two Pillars down with one stone. Half of the student Hierarchy toppled in a single blow, I can't help but feel some pride with this, even if it is all meaningless in the end. At least as far as my real plans go. I am putting in with Linda about being the Student Body President now that the position is open. I think that with the new change in management we can start to make some real changes around this place. Only time will tell how things will work out, but I am feeling very positive about it. I think that this is a good sign that things are moving better then I had planned, this might be a cakewalk after all. |
|
