Wheres Mah Booty!? ( September 2009 )

[Katsuri Katashi]

Quest Name:

Wheres Mah Booty!?

Format:

Single post depicting your character for a day.

Reward:

+3 EXP

Scenario:

Well, its time to get the Monthlies back on track and what better way then to kick it off with something a little fun?

As some of you may know September is host to national "Talk Like a Pirate Day", as thus our monthly event will be pirate orientated.

You are expected to create a story about your character doing pirate things, which can include but are not limited to gathering "booty", pillaging, and trying to sail the seven seas ( In a mode of transport to your choosing. )

Requirements:

• A minimum of 750 words ( BBcoding does not count. )
  
• You must give a story about your character acting like a pirate. NO NINJAS!
  
• Must be posted by September 30th
  

[Victor "Break" D'Armond]

(hope this fits in, its something of a joke, but it does have to do with pirates, if it doesn't please let me know, you wheren't specific to what time period it had to be so I'm hoping this will be okay)

There was once a legend, of the bold, the incredible, the handsome, the indefatigable, and lastly the incredibly bamf Royal Air Force Pirate.

Yes my friend, you read that right: Pirate, not Pilot.

He was a young man of the second great war, when propeller planes and dogfights where at the height of their craft, and it was an artform to be able to fly with skill and precision. and much like the Red Baron before him, The RAF Pirate was a legend of the skys.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, defined cheeks and a smile that would kill a lady from a block away, he stood proudly anywhere he went, and in natural pirate fashion, took what he wanted and did as he pleased, all under the guise of the queen and her Royal air force. There was a legend once of a fully functioning luftwaffe plane simply coming in through hails of Anti-aircraft fire to land on the most secure airforce base in all of the mighty british empire, only to be revealed that the pilot was none other than the mighty RAF pirate, who had stolen the craft mid-mission just for fun, giving the british a fully intact luftwaffe MM80 to study and advance upon.

not much was known of the actual RAF Pirate, not even his real name, only that he did great feats every day in the name of the crown... and his own wallet of course ...

and so we begin

September 17th 1944

Victor woke up bright and early, stretching in his little cot before his left hand fell to his eye and rubbed the sleep out of it, he pulled off his blankets rolling off the bed letting his feet hit the cold ground. He took in a big breath, and smiled, his bright teeth the only distraction to the rest of the officers that he slept in the nude, and felt no shame. he strolled to his trunk at the front of his cot, opening it while the rest of the boys jested at him, "oi sexy, put your gun away" one said. "Oh come on, it's not even loaded!" Victor shouted back with a wink. he rifled through his things, pulling out his uniform and quickly robed himself in his pilots jacket and uniform. the uniform itself was tattered and stripped in places, he had never desired to replace the first uniform he had and saw no reason to, it was lucky!

Victor walked with fellow pilots toward the empty corridors, though people tended to let him walk in front, he was something of the folk hero of the group being dubbed with the illustrious title: The RAF's Pirate. Victor always chuckled when he heard it, and had begun to integrate "YAR!" into his vocabulary just for the hell of it. It was true, he had a penchant for bringing back nice things that didn't belong to him on missions... and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Today was to be the Battle of Arnheim, the debriefing officer told them, they where to glide in, paradrop and hold 5 bridges so they could begin a northern invasion to help the americans pincer the nazi's from the north while the american's came up through the south. Seemed like a pretty good plan, especially after Germans had found the technolodgy to launch those nasty V2 missiles from the northern coast straight at beloved brittania! Victor had shot down many of these missiles himself, but going straight to the source of the hive was always better than just swatting the bees.

Victor geared up, he quite enjoyed glider flying, it took more skill, and was much ballsier, these planes had no armements, and flew only at 100 miles per hour, on top of being made out of wood they where great for stealth... and being sitting ducks.... but Victor enjoyed challenges, and he REALLY enjoyed stealing other planes, which would be so much easier in this little glider. he smiled to himself, a chuckle resounding deep in his chest as he pulled the little plane up into the air.

winter and flying, he loved it. nice and cold, and the cold made it easy to think, it was sharp and made victor's body stand on edge, made his reactions better, made his eye keener. Victor hovered the plane with the rest of his little squad, their target was the first bridge, simple and easy...

Victor radio'd to his wingmate.

"I'm going in low, gonna skim across the river and try to avoid the flak, and maybe draw some enemy attention away from the other squadrons, over" Victor released pressure off of his thumb that rested lightly on the radio's trigger. there was a moment of static silence before the other line finally crackled back "Wait... what!? thats not in the plan!... OVER!" frantic and clearly fresh, Victor barely knew stephen, who happened to be his wingman for this little venture. instead of verbally answering victor simply shrugged, looked out over the side of his cockpit toward the icy waters below and then pressed down the trigger again. "I never said you HAD to follow me, just letting you know what the PEOPLE WITH SOME TESTICLES are going to do to get this war done" Victor said back, feeling good about his taunting, the man would either surely follow him, or surely be lost to the flak, reports had estimated at least a 40% loss estimate of the planes, and Victor did not intend to die for his country just yet. not when he could do it better...

Victor tipped his throttle forward, the nose of the plane begining to face the ground as he picked up speed and headed toward the water. silently and low he flew between the trees following the sparkling river beneath him as the sun's early morning rays just began to strike upon the choppy blue current. and thats when he heard it...

motors

perfect.

Victor pulled something of his own creation out from under his seat, it was crude but it was also clearly a grappling hook launching device. Victor loved ingenuity, and he loved to win, and he REALLY loved when those things could be combined.

two planes descended behind him, directly on his six, the one place most pilots would hate to have an enemy. Victor on the other hand quite liked him there...

Victor kicked up at the glass around his cockpit, then kicked again, the glass smashed out beautifully into the german cold, and victor peeked his head up through the glass. at only 70 miles per hour this wind was not nearly enough to do anything to a strong built man like Victor. the german's stupidity was helping too. they where trying to fly between the trees with him, and at his speed. there was no way a german plane could keep up that speed for long without quickly losing altitude and crashing, but victor didn't want that to happen either, not yet.

this was why they called him the RAF pirate.

He got up, standing on his seat, shooting the grappling hook, catching it on the incredibly slow moving luftwaffe plane, this was childs play. The luftwaffe saw this, trying to shake it off he pulled up. Victor tossed the gun back under the seat of the wooden glider, making sure to get it caught around the beam that connected the seat to the glider itself. Victor then began to shimmy up the rope.

this was by far the hardest and most dangerous part, but Victor did not fear it, in fact his heart raced as he embraced it. Victor struggled pulling himself up a bit at a time toward the luftwaffe plane. the glider was certainly slowing this plane down, but Victor knew that even with the glider being roped onto this plane it would still soon reach over 200 mph, which would easily throw victor off if he wasn't in the cockpit by then.

that was okay though, he had full intention of being there.

Victor pulled up covering the distance and pulled himself onto the wing of the plane. the wingman came up behind his friend, victor didn't worry though, he knew exactly what was going through the wingman's head: 'I want to kill the british kid, but if I do I will kill my friend.'

of course, because luftwaffe planes, at least of this model, did not have radio's Victor wasn't very worried about the whole thing. he drew a P90 out of his pocket, a souvenir from an earlier battle, and grabbed the glass of the cockpit. he motioned with his free hand for the man to open the cockpit, or die.

the man began rolling to try to get victor off... bad idea

Victor shot him through the cockpit, without hitting the actual plane, then smiled as the plane began to spin.

he quickly kicked the hook off, easy to do from here and grabbed onto the barring of the cockpit while it spun.

he did some calculations in his head, the acceleration, the wind resistance... this plane was probably doing something like 120mph at the very moment, and would be slowing down from right now until it hit the ground, making things easier as they went.

Victor clung on as the plane went upside down, he now knew what had to happen next. as the plane continued to spin victor used the momentum to kick into the cockpit, smashing glass where he landed, tearing up his military uniform even more, and giving Victor a few nice cuts to tell his friends about later. he grabbed the throttle, leveling the plane. After two spins it hadn't gone completely out of control. however victor was not enjoying sitting in a luftwaffe man's lap.

he pulled up, spinning and throwing the nose forward to the left to create a big arc that the wingman flew through before pulling back up and to the rightto get behind the wingman and quickly shoot him down.

The RAF pirate strike again, having pirated yet another german plane.

"YAAAAAAARRRR!"

he flew back to the bridge they where meant to be attacking, having already swapped uniforms with the german he had killed, knowing that with his own blonde hair and blue eyes, it was difficult to not believe he himself could be german.

he landed unpreterbered, getting out of his plane he pulled his cap down low. a man came up to him, he quickly did the heil salute, for it to be answered quickly. before the man began speaking Victor quickly mumbled Fenster ist ungültig he said, translating roughly to 'window is broken' which is the only phrase of german he ever needed to know, before walking off.

he waited a few tense seconds before he felt secure that the man wasn't following him. it would take them long enough to find the dead body, and they wouldn't be able to identify the man anyway, Victor had in true pirate fashion, stolen his wallet.

Victor walked around, learning things about the base. everyone was on full alert for the attack they knew was coming, and they wheren't really paying attention to one officer who was simply straying off. Victor knew how to play the game

within short time Victor found any and all safe's on the premise. Victor, pirated these swiftly, clearing all the bills inside and taking them for his own. and now, it was off and away, let the rest of the british worry about the stupid bridges... it wasn't really his problem.

Victor began walking to a nearby town, it was a short walk in his book. and the cold kept him nice and awake. with the money he had stolen he payed a man for some of his clothes, and dressed as a civillian. he then went to the local pub, found some girls and managed to get a place to 'stay for the night'.

Yar =D!!

epilouge

The germans would eventually win that battle, but not before Victor had gained some very useful information and quite a bit of pocket change, slept with some german women, and overall made his title of RAF Pirate seem all too fitting.

By the end of the war Victor would repeat this process many times, and eventually would use all of his pirated money to buy a nice Flying Fortress which he would get a crew for and eventually begin his own mercenary company, instilled with a certain Pirate spirit of getting things done their own way

[Kazuya Hikari]

Zzzz... The sound of gentle snoring filled the room, as a lone figure could be seen sitting behind the table. Alex was taking a light nap, his legs resting on top of his desk, his hat covering his face. As he shifted in his sleep, there was a knock at the door. "... Mmm...?” He muttered in his sleep, as another knock was heard. “Enter." He said, as he lifted his legs off his desk, and stretched his arms above his head, as the door to the captain’s room opened. "Sir!" His second-in-command, Blake, replied, entering into the room. "Our lookout has spotted an enemy ship that has crossed over into our territory!” The minute Alex heard that, a small smirk crossed his face, as he pushed his chair back, and stood up, placing his hat back on his head. “Well, we’ll just have to show them whose boss, won’t we?” He walked out of his room, Blake following him, as he headed up to the deck.

Once he got up top, he walked across the deck, up the stairs, and stood beside his navigator, who was steering his ship. “Status report." He immediately said, as his crew turned to face him. " Ah, sir! The enemy ship is closing in fast! They’ll reach us in 10 minutes!" His navigator answered. “Sir! The enemy ship has begun to load up their cannons, and look to be ready to fire!" His lookout called down from up in the crow’s nest. “Well then, what are you waiting for? Prepare the cannons! If it’s a fight they want, it’s a fight they’ll get!" He said, as he adjusted the belt slung on his waist, a sharp, gleaming cutlass visible. I look forward to the challenge... Alex smirked slightly at this, as his crew prepared themselves to fire at the enemy ship down below, as they loaded up the cannons with cannonballs. Just as his navigator predicted, the enemy ship came within sight soon enough, as Alex stood ready, his cutlass in hand, waiting for the right moment before...

“FIRE!” He commanded, as his crew began to fire on the enemy ship, who returned the favor with shots of their own. Alex pointed his cutlass at the enemy ship, as his crew swung from ropes attached to the mast, and charged the enemy ship, as the enemy lowered a plank down, connecting their ship with Alex’s. But Alex wasn’t going to let them get onto his ship. The members of his crew charged across the plank, to help their comrades, as the rest of his crew came up on deck, a few of them staying down below to man the cannons, blowing holes into the enemy’s hull. Leaping down from the upper deck, Alex charged into the fray of the battle, making sure that none of the enemy’s crew took more than 5 steps on his ship. As he thought, a group of four of the enemy tried to surround him as they charged onto his ship, as they charged at him, wielding their swords like their life depended on it. “Arr... Ye think you can defeat me, Captain Alex, the one they call The Light of the 18 Dragons?” He sneered, as he dodged the first strike, and retaliated with one of his own, as he sent the first attacker into the water.

He then blocked the second strike, and kicked the guy in the stomach, sending him reeling backwards, before he tumbled over the edge of the ship. The third one tried to sneak up on Alex, but his crew was on it, and killed him before he even got within range of Alex. Alex then turned to the last one, who was just standing there, trembling in fear. “Arr, ye is next, lest ye are smart enough to leave our ship and tell your captain he’s lost.” The young boy stuttered in fear as Alex loomed over him, before he turned tail, and ran back to his ship. A fierce battle was fought that day, with casualties on each side, but the enemy had lost more men than Alex did. Cutting down the last of those who dared to challenge Alex, for it seemed their pride was more important to them than their life, those who still valued their life immediately surrendered to Alex, and to the victor, went the spoils. Alex’s crew tied the remaining enemy crew up, and raided their ship, taking with them the treasure the enemy had stolen back to their ship. Alex’s crew wasn’t called the fiercest and strongest crew in the Seven Seas for nothing. They then sailed off, leaving the enemy ship in ruins. The sea would give them a proper burial tonight...

[Matrim Gallagher]

"Do you have any last words?"

"Only three...."

"Oh? Just three? How nice that you would have just three words. Are they something we'll be thinking about the rest of our lives?"

"Technically.... yes."

The men looked at each other, having cornered Mattie in an alleyway, with only a few whore's nearby. Then they returned back to the worthless piece of trash that owed them money, Matrim "Mattie" Gallagher. Their pistols drawn on him, his hands raised as he looked at them with a smile on his face. Was he facing certain death? No, not really.

"Spit them out then!"

"Women love me."

Before they had a chance to respond both of the mens foreheads were grabbed, and knives slit open the throats of the two hookers that had been in the alley with him. He lowered his arms and walked over to the two dead corpses, kicking one in the head before picking up one of the pistols and placing it in his belt, "Thank you ladies, I owe you one."

"Actually you owe me forty! And don't you forget! If you didn't owe us each money we wouldn't have rescued your ass."

"Yeh, you're lucky they weren't out to cut your balls off Mattie! Then we might have let them! Woulda given us a break."

The first girl kneed Mattie in the groin before walking off the second reached and hand back, and where he thought she was going to slap him, she decked him in the nose, knocking him back and unconscious. Matrim woke up the next day to find himself up to his neck and garbage and other stuff he really didn't want to mention. Instead he left and went back home, got himself a bath, and decided it was time he found some way of making money other than borrowing money and pilfering from the people of the town.

And that's when he met Captain Harrison, the man who would be the end of him. He was on the shore for just a short amount of time, and anybody could tell that this man was a pirate. He had the typical pirate look and everything, and while this town wasn't exactly known for harboring fugitives, it was definitely full of scum. Think of it more as a town of whores and thieves, not a town of murderers. So to see a pirate ship dock in their port, it was as if they had to show off just how skillful they were, to prove that these pirates weren't near as good as the town. The women tried to woo them, and it worked. And when the women tricked them, they came out of the situation with more money than previously talked over. The gamblers hustled the pirates, giving them entertainment but cheating them out of their money, they were the more at risk ones, since usually the night ended with a drunk angry pirate wielding a pistol. And then there were the thieves.....

The thieves went onto the ship itself whenever they could sneak on to steal from the ship itself. This was the most dangerous since they had to sneak into the home of the pirates themselves, but it was also the most rewarding considering all of the treasure a pirate ship was foretold to have. And Mattie was among a few other thieves, all going for the same thing... the Captains quarters. They knew they'd find the best bits there, the most expensive and easiest to carry out. Quality of Quantity was the goal for these thieves, and one fateful night Mattie and two others went for it. Mattie didn't know them, but they had honor amongst thieves in this town, as well as competition. The thieves would try to take more than the others, all without getting each other killed. And this was mostly true, until somebody started doing too well.

Mattie had managed to sneak across the ship, only having to stop a few times to not be seen by the pirates on deck. He managed to pick the lock to the captains quarters with ease, and got in. The Captain, who was fast asleep, was in his bed snoring away as Mattie explored some of the pendant necklaces, jewel encrusted rings, and a very few choice jewel encrusted blades. He took one of the Cutlass's, a necklace around his neck, and two rings before starting to head out, only to see the other two thieves closing the door on him and barricading it.

NOOOO shit... shit shit shit.... window!

He looked around for a window, but there was none he could fit through, so he started to search the room for anything, a trap door, something to help him cut his way out or even blast his way out, he searched drawers, closets, chests, until finally he pulled a curtain to check the next object he saw when.....

"SQUUUUUAAAAWKKKKKKK"

"Fuck........"

"Drop the sword, boy! Lest ye make me cut yer arm off and retrieve it myself!"

Mattie dropped the sword, the blade immediately sticking into the ground. The sword was definitely sharp....

"Good.... now.... take off the necklace......"

Mattie took the necklace off slowly, setting it down in front of him.

"And the ring?"

Mattie took the ring off and set it down next to the necklace.

"Good... and now the shirt....."

"This is the shirt I came----"

"I said the shirt, boy!"

And Mattie took off his shirt, suddenly wondering what in the world he was doing....

"Why am I taking off my shirt, and please tell me it ends there, otherwise you can pull the trigger....."

"Pull what trigger boy?"

Mattie turned around to see the old pirate with his arms crossed just standing there, laughing his ass off at him.

"What?!?!?!?"

"You thieves are always the same, so scared of getting caught you don't even know if we're armed. But do you know what I do with thieves like you?"

"Hopefully we aren't going back to the whole taking more off thing, because I will grab that sword and impale myself."

"No, nothin like that, though you'll be wishin that were the case once we're done with yeh..... didn't you notice the room's motion changed? Didn't yeh notice we started moving with the waves more?"

"Yeah, tide came in... right?"

"No, we set sail."

And apparently, that's how they gained crew members, by shanghaiing thieves and whores back into the ship...... Ever since that day, Mattie's been a member of a pirate crew, living his days out on the open seas and before long, they returned to his town.... and he managed to find those two thieves, and shanghai them as well.

[Krane Asiv]

Today was a peculiur day to tell the truth. The air felt... soft, clear, and smelled salty. The wind was right, and the people where soft. Now, now was the time to reveal his weapon of mass destruction. Grabbing the keys to his dads car, and hoping into the front seat of the Firevird Transam, he'd open the sun roof as he peeled out of the drive way. Screaming down the road, raising from the sun roof, a mast. And waving from that mast. A pirate flag, with a Dragon circling in and out of the eye sockets of the skull. Picking up some of the boys he'd give one the wheel, and stand atop the car, holding the mast.

As they screamed down the street, he could see the sky scrapers, they where changing, windows where opening to the balconies and building ramps. Flags of the navy where being hoisted on these huge monstrosities. Spike reached to his side and pulled out his trusty stick, and got ready.

"Look here mates. The navy has found us and are preparing an attack."

The boys looked scared, but Spike had a smile.

"Don worry lads. We'll get ours."

And at that moment people swung from the skyscrapers towards the car, landing atop it to do battle. Spike would wack one person before landing sending him to the ground rolling like a rag doll. Defeating every person that tried. But then, as if.... Haunted by such things, a few clacks landed on the hood of the car. Turning quickly he saw the ominous glow from the shell, the clicking of claws, and the patch over one of the eyes.

"Mr. Snipps..."

In response the Kenyan Mangrove Crab would snap its claws shut. The stare down continued for only moments before the rest of his crew abandoned ship. Bailing out of the drivers and passangers doors. Rolling to a stop, while the car kept going with no one driving.

Mr. Snipps would raise one claw to allow the sun's gleam to roll off it, and Spike would bring his stick to the ready.

"I do not fear you Mr. Snipps."

The crab would scuttle up the hood, and onto the windshield, its little crab legs cracking the glass with the force of its steps, seemingly to show its power to the young boy. And like that the crab would jump straight up allowing the wind to carry him to Spike, latching onto his face.

"AWESONOVABITCHGETITOFF!"

Spike would flail losing his stick as he fell on his back rolling off the back glass hanging on by the fin on the back of the car as it raged on in speed. Kicking off the speeding ground Spike rolling back ontop of the trunk as the crab went to beating Spike in the face. Spike would grab the crabs claws lift it away from his face with pain as it had gripped the skin, and then headbutt the little thing, sending it rolling to the top of the car, breathing heavy Spike lay there, onyl to look up as the Crab was on the side of the mast with a claw to the rope holding the flag to it. Spike's eyes widened as if to say.

~You wouldn't~

And just like that, HE FUCKING DID!

The crab snipped the rope and the flag flew off into the road. Spike leaped for the mast catching the crfab off guard screaming.

"CRAB BATTLE!"

The crab had been tackled off of the mast and to the hood of the car now. A loud thump and the car would lift in the back slightly sending the car into a fish tail as it slammed back down, making the two struggling pirates roll around the hood giving one the advantage of being the one on top and then back again.As they both rolled one more time putting Spike on the bottom, he lifted the crab up.

"AHA!"

The crab would point and Spike would raise his head to look where the car was going... RIGHT FOR THE BUILDING!

Spike would roll off the car with the crab in hand as he tucked and rolled. The car would hit the building in an awesome explosion or metal and tires. Spike would get up and look around, not noticing where the crab was, doing a complete 360 to find the thing. But then he felt a pinch on his ear, HE WAS ON HIS SHOULDER! Spike punched at thew area and the crab jumped off, slicing his arm as it did so. Spike would grunt before jumping at the crab and stomping, the crab dodging side to side ands swinging its claws at his legs, cutting them every now and then.

"Sonova bitch! I'll kill you and take the treasure for my own!"

Thats right, the treasure. Spike was on his way to get it. Finally he managed to catch a couple of the crabs legs under his stomp. The crab squeeled and began to scuttle/crawl away.

"I'll let you live for now. I'll go for the treasure."

Walking the rest of the way until he reached the glow of the treasure. It hitting his entire body to light up hsi features, the dark red glow.... Wait a minute. Spike opened his eyes and looked at his map pulling it from his back pocket. Then looking again.

"NUDE GIRLS. LIVE SHOW."

Spike stared.... For a very long time in silence. Then shrugged and walked towards the building.

"One mans... Who am I kidding this is treasure."

[Alexis Seran]

So Alexis stood there. Three people sat on their red chairs and listened to her speech.

“SHIVER ME TIMBERS MA LAS!” she said in her accent, with a tinge of piratesk tone.

“Sounds good, but can you balance? The fake boat isn’t that stable.” Alexis looked to the left and stared at the rigid boat. It was on four wheels, and said wheels were hidden behind makeshift waves. With a shrug, she turned and hopped in the boat, “Now you have to balance without looking like you are going to tip over. We have to make it believable that you are on a boat. Pirates don’t have a problem with balancing on their boat, so neither should you.”

Alexis almost wanted to pop a cap in the director’s ass.

She lifted her leg, so her foot was resting on the edge of the boat’s wall. With her right hand, she lifted the fake sword and placed the left on her hip. “Ar! I be setting the seven seas, mate!” she shook her head, “ maties!” Her accent helped make the accent seem more cool and they looked convinced she would make a good pirate in their play.

Want to know how this started before we move on?
Alexis went shopping... and saw this beautiful set of pants. It was so expensive, yet un-steal able... a pair of jeans that expensive doesn’t go without good surveillance. If those pairs of jeans were so over priced she couldn’t imagine the other items. Now this made Alexis want to get a job and earn her money legally. She wasn’t used to going about it in such a way; so, she thought maybe she should try out for a play.

Now... Alexis stood on the stage with a very revealing pirate suit. The guy off stage tugged on the rope to pull the boat and, yep... she tipped over.

“You know... if you can’t do this we don’t want you. Though it is a shame, everything else was spot on.” Alexis glared at him and it obviously made him uncomfortable. Alexis had a mean stare.

“I am going to shove this plastic sword so far up your ass; your children’s children will hear you scream in the future.” All three men’s’ jaws dropped. She hopped off the stage and headed down the carpeted isle in between the audiences’ seats and left the building.

“HEY! That’s our costume!” and Alexis kept on walking down the sidewalk with her birdie flipped. People who saw her thought it was less weird due to the fact she just left a theatre... but the people who didn’t see where she came from might not understand.
Now Alexis was going to need to get the money old school, dirty style!

The raven haired girl set out and everyone looked at her like “what the fuck” some even had a mix of that and “damn, look at her......I’d tap that!”

She bumped into someone and jacked their wallet. Usually she would be in a more subtle mood, but the costume was making her feel more spontaneous. She held it up in front of the woman with a little laugh.

“I GOTZ TEH EPIC LOOTZ, MATIE!” she laughed and ran away. At first the woman was a little confused not paying attention to the wallet, but to the fact a 5’1” teenager dressed and sounded like a pirate. Then she realized, of course, that it was her wallet. She chased her, but Alexis was too fast for the girl. She was obese and Alexis jogged as a hobby.

She looked into the wallet and found herself a shiny gold credit card. Then she found an ID! This girl used to be skinny.... Now Alexis was getting stuck back into her old self, stealing an alias. She headed to a bar and sat herself at the counter.

“A PINT OF RUM.” she snarled. The man just stared at her. He probably thought she already needed to be caught off and was about to ask for ID (considering he wasn’t going to tell a drunk person not to spend their money...it’s his business) and she handed it to him before he even asked. She could also tell he hadn’t really looked at it due to the fact this girl was brown haired and brown eyes. Well, what ever... she got her alcohol.

Leaving the bar an hour later, she was really drunk. She walked by people and would smack them upside the head with her plastic sword. Slowly but surely, she got to the store with those jeans. Now she had a credit card, she could pay for it... only problem was, it was closed.

Fuck it.

She smashed the window and slid the pants from the mannequin. One good thing about being small...was that she could fit doll sizes. The alarms went off and the cameras probably got a vague shot of her... luckily, Alexis made it look like ‘her’ wallet ‘accidentally’ snagged on the glass. She walked away casually and got to an ally way. She changed into the pants, ditched the hat. She even took off her jacket, to leave the strapless dress looking shirt. Now she was going to go home.... across the seven seas....... or a good cab ride home.

[Addie Balfour]

[[OOC: Sorry D: ]]

"Constant rocking of the ship on the sea as the waves hit the side of my ship, the lights from the candles flickering from the breeze that makes its way through the windows of the captains quarters. I am alone, on deck the vigilant stand of the night dwellers look out upon the seas, manning the ships whilest the fools drink themselves till they pass out. This cabin is empty, nothing but the sea air, myself, and the treasure map, so quite; the fools have long since fallen silent. The eeire creaking from the ship as it's bullied by the water gods. those above desk can be heard, singing a whimsical sea shanty. They still remain clueless o' t' perils that will soon appear...So foolish...heehe hee he<3 T' fun will begin soon enough."

Addie said a loud as she rocked along the ocean, she looked down at the paper which was a detailed treasure map as it rested upon a table covered in gold pieces and various other shiney trinkets. She was clad in a white shirt with puffy sleeves, a red sleeveless long coat, tight black pants that met with knee high boots. A belt hung on her waist where a slilver hilted cutlass sword was hooked up safetly, where a hoolister carrying flintlock pistol hid safely undeneath the long coat. There was a serious expesssion on her face as she looked off into the distance, listening to the rolling of waves and and various noises of ship once more. Rocking....back and forth...to and fro... Rocking...always rocking and creaking away. The serious expression stayed even though there was a turning feeling in her stomach, Oh god...so sick!....let me off this thing!! The might pirate thought to herself as she stood up slowly, the rocking causing the girl to stumble a little; though it wasn't long before she was walking properly again.

It didn't matter, it wasn't like her crew had seen such a thing; she was completely alone in the cabin. Walking up three steps the brunette would push open two great doors and emerge on the desk. Sea breezes hitting her, causing her hair to float about a little. A serious blue gaze stared out from underneather the brim of the black captains hat, there was something wrong...Something horrible was going on, though what exactly was kind of confusing. She'd look around, the deck was deserted, it was just her the sea, and the flaping of the sails in the wind. Well, that is until the captain decided to turn around, where a horrid sight came into view. Looking up in shock the tanned girl saw the sight of the dark ship of Genesis. Belonging to the dreaded Sideburns the pirate, the meanest pirate out there.

Cheers and laughter could be heard, along with the pleases of her crew, getting a running star, she'd head op the stairs to the wheel, where she'd jump over the edge. OH GOD! LET ME MAKE IT! LET ME MAKE IT! She'd chant in a desperate tone within her head, all the while as looked up to the mast of the enemy ship, where a rope hung. The girl would grab onto it and swing down on the rope, landing with a thud on the deck. A rough landing as usual. The captain would quickly find her feet, not wishing to be caught sitting down by her foe; since it would lead to a quick demise. Doors would swing open, followed by a few crew mates and the big bird himself......

"You......Where is my crew!?" The German Japanese girl questioned in a serious tone as she looked to sideburns, her hands slowly reaching for her cutlass."Draw yer cutlas you filthy giraffe," She snarled taking hold of the her cutlass and drawing it.

"Don't you be thinking I've gone and forgot yeh! Yer time has run out." The man laughed as he too drew his sword, looking to Addie he'd smirk and then slowly move forward.

Addie on the other hand only wished to finish the battle quick, the motion of the ship was making her feel pretty sick. She wished to rest to relieve herself of such an ill feeling. Addie ran at him, dashing off to the side as he went straight for her, swinging his sword at her. Each the Sideburns went to attack her, she'd jump out of the way, jumping onto something else from time to time. All the while laughing at her opponent and his failed attempts at slaying her.

"Addie, you dancing, prancing...twit!" He snarled, chasing after the girl, occasionally their swords would clash. A loud sound of metal on metal could be heard. This battle was for real, no childs game. Addie looked up at sideburns, trying to send the man messages with her eyes as she defended herself against his attacks. She'd smirk a little, trying to stay in the captain person, not wanting to look bad infront of her crew.

" You fight like my sister!" Addie joked as she swung low and at his legs, watching as he jumped backwards and cuckled.

"I fought your sister!" He added in a matter'o'factly tone,"That's a compliment!"

She'd scowl at him, their swords could clash, then they'd be locked in a match of strentgh, both trying to push the other over. Their eyes would look only at eachother, whilst they pushed thier swords forward. There were no other sounds, just heavy breaths of exhuasted fighters and the rshing of the waves as they threw themselves up against the side of the ship. Both captains locked in a battle that seemed like it would never end....Both with equal things on the line. Treasure, their crew, their lives...and...Chocolate?

Blinking for online a moment, Addie quickly found that her enemy...The many she had been fighting..HIS ARMS FELL OFF? Looking in confusion at the man, who seemd a little off, who he himself was a little confused. They looked down at his fallen arms and then back up at eachother, both raising an eyebrow. He didn't look like himself, even his eyes resembled the candy eyes on chocolate Easter bunnies...At that point it clicked...The fates had turned her foe into chocolate! Licking her lips Addie looked at sideburns the pirate. "I want yer booty!" The girl smirked a little as she watched the chocolate man back up, stumbling a little over his fallen arms. At that point in time, the captain Addie had just noticed the strange music playing in that in the background...So familiar and yet the origin was a mystery to her. Such a shame, though suddenly the urge to bite his face off seemed to erupt within the girl... Advancing forward, she prepared for the attack, watching her prey as he questioned. jump or be eaten?

As if by fate! Three bears....a Father bear, a mamma bear and a baby bear dance their way infront of the yummy looking foe...All with toilet paper in their hands, they danced around..."Cha cha charmen!" The was a soft melody and then a a loud buzzing noise. Sudenly the sea, the ships, the chococlate man, and the bears all swirled into a black abyss and then faded into green with pink squares.

Rolling over the brunette fell off the couch? It turns out, she hadn't left the house. There was no grand adventure on the seas, no treasure....and no fun. She had slept through the day! The buzzing was the coloured screen that came on when a station stopped howing shows and comercials. It was the end of the entertainment line and she was just waking up....With a horrible craving for something chocolaty.

Note to self....sleeping with the television on...is probably not a good idea.

[Drea]

[D: My OTL mini-story. ]


Drea was at the marketplace – it had taken some amount of bickering and harassing to get permission to go. It was her third trip out of the house, and she was excited. You’d think a fifteen year old girl would’ve had more life experience than that, but Drea was no typical teenager. She was the daughter of a rich merchant that had only recently been elevated to any peerage… As he’d been planning his elevation for quite some time, she’d been disallowed to leave the property, and confined to her rooms more often than not. Of course, outsiders were allowed in, so it wasn’t as though she had no contact with the outside world – she simply had no hands on contact with it… And her father had ordered those that visited to limit their speech and explanations to her.

She’d visited the outside world only twice before. Once to visit her sick maternal grandmother – along with her mother, of course – and once to meet a suitor, although she’d not gone far, and her father had been with her, since the arrangement was one of his. Fortunately for her, he’d rejected the old man’s suite, wanting someone wealthier.

Still, Drea wanted to go outside, and with the help of one of the maids – a dear friend of hers – she’d managed to harass her father into permitting her to go, declaring that she’d have supervision and wouldn’t be foolhardy or anything of the sort.

Permission had been granted, and she’d leapt at the opportunity to leave. She’d worn one of Nao’s dresses in accordance with her friend’s orders. It was in order to ‘blend in,’ she’d said. Drea wanted nothing more than to do that – especially if it allowed her access to the outside world.

And thus, she was here in the marketplace, looking at some fruit along with Nao. Since she hadn’t any notion of the outside world, they’d decided that she’d stick to helping Nao with several errands that were passed on to her by the cook. As a result, they were looking through the fruit and meat stands of the market, and Nao taught her how to tell which fruits were ripe, and what seasons they ripened in. After the purchase of several apples, oranges, bananas, and one large, brownish, spiky looking thing with pointy green leaves at the top that was supposed to be a rare delicacy.

Personally, Drea didn’t understand why anyone would want to go near anything that looked so dangerous, much less eat it, but she supposed that someone must have done so for it to have been discovered edible.

It was upon heading towards the meat stands that she’d lost hold of Nao, and that was when the trouble began.

“Hey, little missy, are you lost?”

Drea spun around at once, surprised by the sudden acknowledgement. She was disturbed to see a rather filthy looking man standing there, having just come out of an alleyway. She might’ve passed by, but her books and her few visitors had always told her to judge a book, not by its cover, but by its contents.

“I am, sir. Could you tell me which way the meat stands are located?” she asked as politely as she’d been taught, dipping a curtsy as she spoke.

“Head to the docks,” the man said to her, pointing opposite the fruit stands. It seemed like a probable location.

“Thank you,” she said, nodding as she turned away. Unfortunately, turning her back had been a bad idea, and the same gruff looking man had taken hold of her elbow.

“Now, now, little miss, are you going to just go your way without even a token of gratitude?” the man guffawed.

Drea became nervous.

“I... I spoke my thanks, did I not?” she replied to him quietly.

“Aye, ye did, but me boys say ‘t wasn’t enough.” And this time, when the gruff man spoke, he spoke in an accent that Drea didn’t recognize.

“Oh.” And it made sense to Drea. She should’ve properly asked what they might want as gratitude. “Then, would you like some fruit? I even have a pineapple!”

They laughed at her, and she felt silly. Was it not fruit that they wanted?

“Why don’t ye come back wit’ us ta th’ docks?”

“N-no, I mustn’t.” she said, frightened now. Why would she go to the docks? She needed to get to the meat stands to find Nao!

The man made to drag her off, causing her to drop her basket of fruit, but suddenly, footsteps were heard from the entrance of the alleyway.

“Unhand her at once!”

The voice was strong and concise, and Drea fell to her knees in relief as the rogues scattered at once. She began to gather some of the scattered fruit into the basket that she’d been holding, and bumped shoulders with the man that had aided her.

“Ah!” she blushed when she realized she hadn’t thanked him yet. “Th-thank you for helping me.”

“It was of no consequence to myself,” the man said, tipping his hat towards her as he handed her some of the missing bananas. “I’m the captain of a vessel myself, and those lowlifes are an insult to those that sail the seven seas.”

He helped Drea to her feet. “Come, won’t you rest a moment at my home?”

Drea, charmed by his kindness – and assured by his naval uniform of his authority – agreed.

So, when he brought her to his ship, she had only one question: “This is your home?” She’d thought he’d meant something solid – and not likely to break under the force of the ocean’s fury.

“It is, miss. Please, come aboard and rest.” She followed him without reservations onto his ship and then to his cabin, and he assured her that no one would enter without his permission. He offered her a drink and left to give her some privacy.

Relaxed as she was, it didn’t take long for Drea to fall asleep there on his comfortable bunk…

When she woke, she found that the room was rocking a bit, and then realized that if the room was rocking, so, too, was the ship. Alarmed, she rushed to the deck.

The shore was nowhere in sight.

“I… I don’t understand.” She whispered, confused and vulnerable.

“Ah, I see you’ve woken.” the captain spoke to her from the fore of the ship.

“Where are we? Why have we left? I must return home at once!”

The captain chuckled, before raising a single arm to point at the flag.

“My apologies, miss, but you’ve been added to my crew.”

The flag was black with the emblem of the white skull and crossbones: the emblem of a pirate.

“Y-you… Weren’t you in the navy?!” she asked, afraid.

“Not at all – but every wanted pirate needs a cover when going ashore, don’t you think?”

“You drugged me!” she realized, remembering how sleepy she’d felt after accepting the drink from him.

“I did,” he admitted, “And I don’t normally do that, but I didn’t want to leave you behind.”

Drea was confused be this comment. “What… what do you mean?” she asked, almost childishly.

“Nothing, miss. Nothing at all. Your responsibilities to this ship will be only to keep me company. I doubt you’ll be of use elsewhere as you’re a noblewoman.”

Drea became suspicious. “And where did you learn that?”

The captain shrugged. “I watched for a while. I saw you on a balcony and inquired as to your identity.”

Now, she was partially amused, partially offended, and partially unsure of what to do. Her fear had been washed away by the fact that this person – a pirate captain of some notoriety – had wanted her. She felt cheered, and suddenly grinned, tossing her head back a bit.

She’d only just realized she was free of her father and his confinements, even if she was a bit sad that she’d not see Nao again.

“So,” she asked boldly, “Does this make me a treasure?”

[Sara Gallagher]

The pile of junk in the middle of the room was getting bigger and bigger as the small girl tossed piece after piece of useless JUNK behind her. Digging deeper into the closet, Sara let out a frustrated growl. She wasn't exactly looking for anything in particular, but she had been hoping she would find SOMETHING fun in there to play with. It was time to clean out the small closet anyways, the damn door wouldn't even close anymore.

Behind her, there were technically two piles of junk. Junk she was keeping. And junk she was getting rid of. Sadly, the pile of junk she was going to get rid of was smaller then the pile of junk that she was going to keep. About 2 times smaller actually. Possibly three...

She sighed and pulled a box slightly further out. Behind, she spotted some sort of shiny fabric. Assuming it was a shirt she had dropped, she grabbed the hem and pulled.

O___________________O

omgnowai...

Dusting off the fabric, she held it up. It was a Halloween costume from a couple years ago. A pirate costume. All pink and black and cute, with the skirt and the little shirt. She threw the outfit over to the bed and dove back into the closet for the hat and sword. After only a few minutes, she had assembled the whole costume.

!

She was going to have fun with this one >3

---

Less then an hour later, Sara found herself at the mall, dressed in her costume. It still fit her. Probably because she hadn't grown very much in the last couple years... TT.TT But that was fine. More fun for her now!

She practically skipped through the crowd as she headed towards the food court. Mid skip though, she paused. Turning she found herself in front of the pet store. A smile lit up her face. What was a pirate without an animal right? Weren't they always seen with like parrots and stuff!? That's what she needed! A parrot! And she could commit her first dastardly deed here!

She stepped into the store, ignoring the looks from the cashiers and other customers as she surveyed the isles. She was sidetracked by barking on one of the walls. PUPPIES! She moved to the wall and watched them for a moment playing in the dirty little pens. D= It was kind of sad...

Jumping on to the cashiers counter, she brandished her sword in the poor woman's face. "Let the puppies go. NOW!.... Yar..."

The woman simply looked at Sara the pirate with a confused look on her face. "Um... what?"

"You heard me! Let them go! Or walk the plank! Haha!... Yar..."

>_>" "What plank...?"

Sara leaned down right, in the woman's face, her eyes narrowed. "Look lady... We can do this the easy way, or the hard way." Sara stood back up, and slammed her foot down on the register. It popped open under the force and set off the alarms.

Sara let out a loud laugh as the lady ran off, leaving the register. She grabbed the woman's key ring and jumped lightly off the counter. On a second though, she leaned over the counter and grabbed the bills from the register, then set off towards the puppies. She figured she had a good... Ok, no, she had no idea how long until mall security and the cops showed up. Best to work as fast as she could and free them.

Letting herself into the back room with the keys, she opened each cage and watched as the animals took off.

Time to find an animal that suited her needs as a pirate. She skipped off to the birds and small animals section, and eyed the large cages with the birds. There were budgies, love birds, canaries. None of the ones she wanted though. She wanted the biggest, most colorful parrot they had. And those were.....

THERE! !

She spied the large cages holding numerous parrots. All colorful, and all large. So how to decide which one D= ?

All around the store people yelled and called out, running around like chickens with their heads cut off as dogs and cats ran around their feet. She otherwise ignored them, trying to decide. Then it hit her. How to decide which parrot was the best for a pirate.

"YAR!" She gave the birds a few moments, and finally, a large blue and green one responded. "YAR!"

>3 Perfect.

She broke open the lock to the cage and pulled the parrot out. She sat it gently on her shoulder, its claws digging into her skin as it started to chew on her hat. YES! Her costume was complete!

Exiting the store, making her way through the crowd of people gathered, she skipped off to the food court.

It was only a few moments later that she heard the yelling and running behind her. Turning she saw the police running towards her. D< "YAR! You'll never take me alive!!"

"YAR!" The bird mimicked.

She took off running to the food court, jumping onto the nearest table, to the dismay of the people eating on it, and brandishing her sword. "Off with their heads!"

"YAR!"

Sara paused. " Wait... Wasn't that.. like... Alice in Wonderland or something...? Not pirate -- OOMPH

Sara was tackled off the table, a police officer taking a jumping leap and grabbing her around the waist to tackle her to the ground. Sara groaned under the weight of the person on top of her. The bird went flying, and took flight to rafters above, squawking loudly.

---

"Now." The officer looked down at Sara sitting in the uncomfortable chair at the station. "We're going to let you go. But you'll never be allowed in this mall again. We're doing this because.... It's obvious you're not... We... understand that.... Canadians... They're not... The brightest people... And you obviously seem sorry. Just keep in mind, if we EVER hear of you being ANYWHERE near that mall again, we will charge you. Understood?"

Sara nodded, keeping her head down. Had they seen her face, they would have realized she was smiling. The mall wasn't the only place to commit DASTARDLY PIRATE DEEDS! >3

[Katsuri Katashi]

The drink. It was something that had plagued man since its existence. Intoxication was a dangerous thing, and in Katsuri’s case, the immense amounts it took to get the man hammered was beyond reason. In the end, this day was no different than the few other times he had gotten blitzed, and with it being difficult to reach such a level, the normal Katsuri was amplified.. and he often took on personas a far cry from his own. Today was a bad day, as he had gotten up from his stupor, convinced he was a pirate, and the first thing he did was pilfer some more alcohol from the local shops.

To add to his list of pirating duties, he also hijacked a large truck, broke a telephone pole in half, and lodged the thing in the truck bed. He attached to this a massive pirates sail and a flag at the top, and this was him just getting started. After getting more blitzed on booze, the man proceeded to drive down the road, left and right, blasting a cheap pirate tune he had robbed from the web in his effort to gather ‘booty’ and proceeded to sing it as he zigzagged back and forth up and down the road.


“Yo ho! Yo ho! -Hic-“ He was halfway out of the window of this stolen vehicle, the cop sirens behind him telling him to pull over, and yet all the man did was gun it, heading for the beach, after all, what good was a bloomin’ pirate if he was going to be stopped by the likes of the law. That’s right. None to good at all. “FUCK YOU COPPERS!”

He yelled out of the truck to the sound of gunfire coming against the large “mast” in the back of that truck, not that he cared.
He just kept his foot plowed into the gas pedal, speeding along, plowing into a costume shop.. on purpose.. on accident.. or just for the plot. Did not matter.

Fact of it was, the man was launched through the windshield and plowed into a pile of costumes. When he got up he was looking rather Johnny Depp like now. Dressed as a true pirate should be! “ARGH!.. why is the rum gone?..” He stumbled from where he was, only to have the police trying to surround the place. “Oh crap… Davy Jones.” Another hic slipped from his lips and he looked around bewildered.

The backdoor!.. There was no back door, he just plowed through the wall like the koolaid man and kept on running. The cops had no idea where he had gone.. except that he had gone through the wall and disappeared. About an hour later, the man was stumbling around the strip, a big ass bottle of rum in his hand, and people avoiding him like the plague. “Yo.. ho.. yo -hic- ho. It’s a pirates life for me..-hic- “ He could barely keep his large self standing, and yet he kept drinking.

If it were not for his immense size he would certainly have contracted alcohol poisoning, and yet, he managed to find himself staring a large breasted woman in the chest. “My.. oh my… what a lovely set. “ He tried to focus his vision and then grinned, a bit of the ole lechery coming out as he grabbed hold of the luxorious melons and lifted her up a little. The feeling was great.. but the next one not so much as it caused him to loose his balance and fall to the ground finally. Sitting there looking up at the woman whom was running the other way, trying to get away from Katsuri at light speed.

“Ah well.. they were too small for me any-hic-how. I still have you rum.. you’ll never leave me.” That is, until the large man looked down at his hand after he had brought the thing to his lips and got no liquid. The bottle had been shattered.. and if you were looking at him you’d have seen his eyes get as big as saucers, about to cry his soul out. “BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE!?..” Sniffles, and a few tears later, he fell back, laying on the sidewalk, that eight foot behemoth out cold from having exhausted himself and the fact he had well over the legal limit of alcohol in his system. Moral of the story? Always have more Rum handy. Also. When you wake up in jail, make sure you let everyone know they are your bitch.


OOC: Also. Since I am greedy, and I want to encourage more people to fuggin' post in monthlies. I will be instituting a +500-1000 CASH thing for monthlies.

This Month: 500

[Katsuri Katashi]

Awards:

Everyone in the thread broke the word count cap and had vaguely achieved the subject matter.

All +3 and all +500