Freefall

[Drea]

Vocal Version

October 19, 2009

I got into trouble again, today. Another stupid mistake. I forgot to check over my answers on a quiz and scored a 99% instead of the possible 102%. I hate this. Why can't I ever do anything right? Mother and father were so disappointed. They punished me again, and as quietly as ever, but I could tell they were upset.

I failed them again. I just can't seem to do anything right, you know? I'm sure that if I keep working harder - if I try harder - I'll be able to score perfects. Then they'll pat me on the head and tell me I'm a good girl...

My legs still hurt from the punishment, but I'll bear it without any ice or anything of the sort. I deserve it, after all. I'd better come up with a good way to hide it, though. The jeans will help to hide the soreness and the bruises, but I'll need to at least make sure I can force myself to walk normally. I don't want anyone asking me if I'm hurt... I'd better come up with a plausible excuse for it, too. I guess I could say that I accidentally opened the car door too hard and the door squashed my legs. It would explain some, I think.

Hopefully, no one'll think to ask about the chauffeur or my other servants or why I haven't treated them. But... I think I should be okay with just jeans. I'm not so important that people would notice me or my injuries anyways. I should be fine.

I hope I can do better next time. I'll have to study longer, anyways. I wish the teachers didn't so often include things ahead in the text. As it is, I'm reading two or three chapters ahead to make sure I know what they're testing us on anyways. I wonder if this is how it'll be in college. I hope not. I don't think I could stand myself if that happened. After all, mother and father are already getting frustrated with me. That's why I'm in public school, anyways.

I wasn't good enough for private school, so they decided to put me in public school. It saves them money, and on top of that, it saves them disappointment. After all, they'd have to punish me more frequently if I went to private school and still made the same mistakes. At least this way I can be assured that I'm still being challenged and doing well enough. After all, they automatically elevated me by two grades when I tested into the school. Instead of being a sophmore like the other fifteen year olds, I'm a senior.

Just like my sister.

I never told my parents about her. I guess a part of me is worried they'll like her more than me, but another part is afraid of what they'd think if I told them. Would they throw me away since I do have family? I hope not. I don't want to lose them after the eleven years we spent together. They've taken care of me all that time, even prescribing me medications when I was sick and for that... inci...dent.

I couldn't possibly ask for better parents, but I only wish I could be as wonderful a child. I'm always making mistakes. Always. I wonder if I could just... stop? Just stop making mistakes, stop screwing things up - stop bothering people altogether.

...It would be nice. It's too bad I'm not that smart. But... I don't think they'd be happy if I left the mess trying to go the other way either. After all, I can't shame them, and having to deal with my body would still be a shame.

If only there were a way to rid them of me soon. I know I'm a pain to deal with. I've often thought of running away, but that'd look even worse than suicide. I guess, the best I can do is wait until I'm eighteen and give them all I've got right now in royalties from my book sales - quite a bit. And then move out. At least I could survive off of my sales. I guess I'd have to come clean about that sometime, too, huh?

Well, I'll leave it for later - my phone's ringing again.


Amelia Drea Sinclaire Pilar E. Delos Santos

[Drea]

November 5, 2009

I learned, today, some things that concern me. My sister is involved in some sort of group - and apparently leads it. Today, she requested I join her in her quest. David Blaze and Kazuya Hikari both quickly accepted her request.

I accepted, too, sort of. It's odd. I don't know what exactly is going on, and I'm worried for my sister. What trouble is she in that she needs us three? Or what deed is she planning out?

And me, of all people? I only hope I can be of help to her. My own damning problems will quickly destroy me if I'm not on top of things, so I must be wary of them as advance in a way that will be beneficial to her. I will, by all means. I must help my sister.

Or I'll be a failed and useless sister. I want to help her, my older twin sister.

Emily has been nothing but kind to me, and she's even helped to train me. And more than once, at that. Yet, if I cannot help her attain what it is that she seeks, does that not make me a faltering friend? Yet, I cannot falter, and nor can I be only her friend. I must be her sister and support, and someone that can help her when she needs it.

This task, though I do not completely understand what it is, seems to be frightfully great, and my sister is only one person. Though the two males are besotted with her - one as a friend, and Kazuya... well, there's definitely more there - she is still only just one person. Even if they support her, they are still only men. I do not want her to suffer alone, but what can I do?

I can think of millions of ways to do things, and though I am intelligent, she is, too. There's not much I can do about this. At all. I can offer her my money, but her resources - and David and Kazuya - can offer her much more. I cannot even offer her my strength as I have none. Instead I'll be relying on her, Mitsukai, and whatever training I can garner on the side...

And even then, I must be wary.

Kevala, Mitsukai... Katsuri has disappeared, and that in itself is a concern. Why has he disappeared? When will he return? Why would he leave without leaving word to any of us...? I cannot imagine he left without at least informing the mother of his children, but I must go and ask her. Soon. I fear speaking to her lest I lose myself and my temper to my emotions once more.

A lost babe is still a lost babe, and thus triplets became twins. It's sad, and I worry for her... but I am still too cowardly to face her. I must meet her, and soon.


Emily. Katsuri. They are the first two people I met at this school. One is my sister, and the other is my friend. I do not understand what to do. One needs me. The other has disappeared. I must support them. I will be true to my name.

Amelia, for which I work.

Drea, for which I live.

Sinclaire, for which I strive.

Pilar, for which I support.

And the last three names that I bear, Epifania Delos Santos, which I share with my sister.


I will stay true to my names. I will support them.



Amelia Drea Sinclaire Pilar E. Delos Santos