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Post by Kevala Badoer on Nov 23, 2009 21:55:38 GMT -8
They had left the area, Mitsukai being left behind, her body broken and beaten. All for the sake of Gabriel making her pay for the things her other side had done to Kevala.
In all honesty the girl probably deserved it. She had attacked Kevala in her sleep. Had nearly killed her if not for Spike coming in at the last moment to save her life. But deep down, as they drove away and Kevala leaned against the door, eyes set out the window...a part of her was sorry for all that had happened.
She had said things, done things, that would never be forgiven and for Kevala that was a big deal. She did not have much in this life. She had a boyfriend she did not get to see often......another man she was ....well.....She had Gabriel...and she used to have one best friend.....Now she did not have that...
She had the twins of course.. But you could only get so much talk time in with a set of four month olds. Heh. It was just a lot for her to deal with. Add to that the fact that her emotions run high all the time and currently they were in a mix up that was driving her nuts and ....
well yeah...it was just a big mess.
Shaking her head as she thought to herself, she curled her legs up onto the seat and continued to look out the window. The tip of her tongue brushing over her lips as her brown hair fell lightly into her face. She was unsure where they were headed. Be it her home or some other location. Her mind not really focusing on the places they passed...more on what all was happening in her life.
She did not know how to handle certain things, and to her that was scary. She usually was the one to handle everything..but tonight...in this car with ....him things were all that more confusing.
A light sigh passing her lips as she let her head lay back against the seat....as glance cast from the corner of her eyes toward him before returning her gaze out the window.
"Thank you Gabriel. I know I know...No need to thank you..or some other comment you wish to throw at me...but despite whatever you are going to say...I still wish to thank you."
She was still not sure what he would say about her actions back there. What he would do or anything like that. So for now, she would go easy on what she said to him.
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Nov 23, 2009 22:22:01 GMT -8
The slow rickety bumps to the road meshed well with the rain cover coming in, of course being winter this wasn't out of the ordinary but the scenery and timing played perfectly towards the dark mood swarming in Gabriel's mind like a swarm. His pensive face pressed against the glass in a deep stare gliding off into the darkness that the road brought him. Of course every few meters a light would break from the depths bringing him back to reality making sure that he had full assurance of where he was. Inches away, he was inches away from yet another murder, as if he hadn't been suspect of that before. All his days so damp with dismal delight he could perhaps never find peace, but in that essence he enjoyed the carnal pleasure of being damned.
"Thank you Gabriel. I know I know...No need to thank you..or some other comment you wish to throw at me...but despite whatever you are going to say...I still wish to thank you."
The quiet words broke him free of his pensive solitude. The prison by which he lurked shattered and now he stood inflamed in a constant engulf of glass walls.
"Thank me for what....I was just like them in that moment. Worthless and weak, and you went to such lengths to ensue and act of murder."
Gabriel turned away rolling his shoulders in attempts to maintain a calm level of breathing. All the while the two up front never shifted nor reacted to his rage.
"I'm sick and tired of all of this Kevala, your digging yourself a nice shallow grave!"
His breath was cold in a mix of snarls and calm completion. He felt his body tingle under the contrast of warm blood and freezing limbs, it was something then that jostled within him howling forth with intensity. Hatred perhaps? Maybe that malice Reven had often craved? He was still just an animal, victim to his desires.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Nov 23, 2009 22:44:36 GMT -8
She whimpered as his rage washed over her. Her head turning to him as she shifted in that seat, those eyes, once more icy in color, would find their way to him.
"Tired of what? What did I do now?"
Bracing herself for another rush of his emotions she would lean back against the door of the car. She really did not know what she did that was so wrong. So she got into trouble. Did he think that she went looking for it? Honestly?
Okay so maybe tonight she did act a bit strange and try and go after that thing on her own. But Mitsu was her friend and she only wanted to really know that she was okay.
Her arms came up to cross over her chest, a heavy sigh passing her lips as she continued to watch him. She already had a bad feeling as to where this night was headed and she was not sure why she had let herself believe differently.
So what if she cared for him. It made no difference to him so why should it to her.
~Because that is just the kind of person you are?~
Oh shut up! She was in the mood to be pissy to. If he could so could she. Though she really did not want to be..but that was beside the point. His answer would dictate how she reacted from this point on. Letting him set the tone for this converstation.....
For now.
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Nov 23, 2009 22:56:47 GMT -8
Gabriel didn't answer because quite honestly he didn't have a good enough reason at the moment for holding this childish spat, rather he was just being stubborn. Gabriel pressed his head against the window slowly pounding away at it with light little taps as to not entirely lose his mind. Of course he could sense the tense tendrils coming from her. Something of a mix of anger and sadness, something he couldn't solve in his current stake so he'd have to do something about that. Right after he had his little fit cleared up.
"I'm sorry, it wasn't your fault..." Gabriel said nudging closer to her pulling her head in to rest against his chest, "I acted brashly..."
Gabriel breathed deeply in a slow progression letting his chest lift and rise slowly without notice before his gaze checked out the window again. He'd wanted blood on his hands just as much. Looking down he could see them covered in a thin layer of congealed blood, the people he'd killed looming over his shoulder with an announced voice all at once saying nothing. Eyes closed to remember it all as a blank, how much he'd wanted to forget.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Nov 23, 2009 23:17:20 GMT -8
One minute he was angry with her, the next she was being pulled against him and her head laid against his chest. A part of her knew that she should just pull away and be done with it. But gods help her she just curled up a bit closer to him and would let her head rest softly against his chest. Initially she glanced up at his face, but the look he held, and the manner in which he looked down at his hands, had her eye following.
That is when she saw the light layer of blood which covered them. Kevala may have been a lot of things, but stupid was not one of them. Slowly, a bit unsurely, her hand slipped forth..a gentle brush of her fingers over his hand as she spoke softly, almost affectionately.
"Gabriel. Please stop tearing yourself up for whatever it is you have done in your past. I can feel it coming from you. So do not deny that is what you are doing. Just as I feel the darker part of you that you try so hard to keep locked away."
Her fingers, if allowed, would slowly trace over his hand where the blood lay, an idle fashion but one with a purpose.
"These hands my have done many horrible things. I do know..nor do I care.....But I also know that they are capable of good. I wish only that you could see that."
She would then slowly draw her hand back, not wishing to get the side of him that shunned her touch. She would take what little he would allow her and be content with that.
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Nov 23, 2009 23:32:49 GMT -8
Gabriel shifted his glance away immediately, guilt was something for him to carry. These things of the past were his burden alone. Gabriel Seran was strong enough to carry such a burden it was what he deserved. Eyes were glued shut not acknowledging anything beyond the sound of the tires rolling onto the rickety cobblestone floorings of the Seran Manner.
"Its nothing..." Gabriel shook away to find himself free of torment.
The ghastly images had haunted him for ages, the smell of charcoaled bodies on the battlefield. The stench of his copper blade driving forcefully into the chest of a lesser man. The stench of blood and shit writhing in it as it surrounded him in a feeble sense of justice.
Gabriel opened the limo door walking out into the rain. Ivan coming to the door side with an umbrella to follow wherever Kevala would go. Villetta calmly walking a few meters away from Gabriel.
Gabriel stopped there as another flash overtook him, his eyes glazing over a the scene of the marble staircase before him. The flames spiraling about his body in a clutching embrace as he felt the thermal heat tear through all that life. He stood at the center watching their bodies crumble to dust.
Gabriel had been a monster.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Nov 23, 2009 23:49:08 GMT -8
As he pushed her away and got out of the limo she would follow, her hand coming up to bat away that umbrella Ivan was toting around as she followed behind him. Her hair and clothes becoming soaked in the heavy rain. But she really did not care.
Then he stopped, and a series of tortured emotions hit her. Ones that should have brought her to her knees and would have, if not for the fact that she worried about the man they were coming from.
Nobody else may want to get near him, but Kevala was not just your typical girl. Now was she? Nope...
So she hurried ahead, coming to him and standing before him. Her hands reaching up and coming to rest on either side of his face. That glazed look telling her what she had already thought to be going on.
"Gabriel! Stop! It is the past! Let it stay there!"
Gods what was it going to take to make him see that yes the past was bad, more so than she could probably ever imagine. But it did not make him a bad person today!
"See me Gabriel! Not some bloody past you can do nothing to change! I may not be enough to make it better but please...do not do this to yourself! See at least that I am here now! Not judging you for what you may have done before."
She did not know if she could get through to him. Not sure if he would hurt her, not sure about a lot of things. But she was one to let her emotions and her heart lead her. And she could not stand to see him this way. Despite what may or may not be felt between the two..she could not stand by and watch him do this to himself. It was just not in her nature.
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Nov 25, 2009 1:52:11 GMT -8
The Past, It was something Gabriel had never taken to heart in fact he'd forgotten it for so long he couldn't recall having ever lived it. The days where he stood at the side of Michael Cypren and Jaus Valentine, drenched in bloody warfare and feeling that wisping scent of copper smother their features. It was ages ago he stood there atop the pilgrimage watching it liquidate away beneath the fiery pillars. Years ago he felt the sting of betrayal and emptiness.
Gabriel shook Kevala off and continued his dreary march up the stairs to his elegant mansion. The slow monotonous rhythm of foot against stone tapping musically to the patter or rain.
He could remember his beginning here, those dark battles against a so called evil. The threat of Reapers and Dragons meeting at his doorstep, alone he stood at arms with a man he hardly knew to fight them. An army at his disposal as they fought on till darkness set in and they were shifted away to San Francisco.
Gabriel's marks hit the door leaving the large doors wide open. The sloppy wet tramps of his feet marking where he'd been. the long hallway of portraits and priceless artifacts exposed to winter's cruel cold grasp.
The days when he'd abandoned it all to start anew, his militia growing into the Black Knights. At first they were few, renegades of a crippled empire, though bred of those who were left weak and powerless against the changing times. That was what Gabriel had stood for a time ago, ages before the dark mark of Reven reigned in to give him reason, to change it all and ruin his perfect ideals. The blood of old friends and new lost him his army, the day that he made a stand; yet rather than lose his humanity he chose humility.
Those days so far gone and lost, now he was beside himself with fear of a future he could not control nor foresee. So many people in this world expanding, growing, everyone of then with a cause and purpose just as worthwhile as his own. But fear crippled him like a harbinger of some unknown plague. Overcoming the feral wind would take his life with him.
Gabriel stopped his walk arriving at a large chair, it's shape looked oddly like a throne. Overlooking his gardens he'd sit, their wilted features giving a foreboding tale. He needed hope, and the prospect of something greater than this.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Nov 25, 2009 6:16:58 GMT -8
As he shook her off and continued on, so did she. His emotions continuing to wash over her as she followed behind him. Not sure what to say or what was going through his mind.
Icy hues scanned the area around them as he made his way towards a chair...er...throne...whatever and sat down..His mind clearly running over the past as he looked out over that withered garden. Inside of herself, her emotions were running high. The feel of his sparking a fire deep in her heart. She wished only to help him, to make him see there was more than just the past to hold onto.
But what could she do? She held no part of him. Nothing in him desired to listen to her reason.
But giving up on him, on herself, was not an option. She waited, letting him settle, before she would move to kneel beside him. Her hand coming to rest on his knee as she looked up at him.
A small tremble running through her from the chill her body now felt as a result of the rain soaking through her clothes and down to her flesh.
The spot she chose was simply to be close to him, not for some reason of feeling as though she belonged there. She had to get through to him and she was willing to risk him snapping on her in order to achieve this.
As her icy hues cast a glance up toward his own, she would speak softly, a light grip of her delicate fingers to his knee offered.
"Gabriel. Please. Look at me."
She spoke softly, a hint of a broken whimper escaping her as she did.
"Please stop letting the past eat away at you this way. I do not know what happened, I do not pretend that I do. But you have to see that there are those in your life now that need you more than this haunted memory does.
I am certain horrible things happened. That you did thing that cause many, including yourself, great pain. But why must you let that overshadow the good stuff you have done."
It was killing her to see him this way. Unsure what she could do, what she could say that would bring him back to here and now. Damnit! Why did he have to do this? Why could he not see what was right before him?
Shifting her body, she let her small form work its way between his knees, one hand settled upon each of his thighs. In her mind she was preparing to be hit and thrown into a wall or something. But she was not about to give up. It was just not in her nature.
"Damnit Gabriel! What is it going to take for you to listen to me? What do I have to say? What do I have to do?
Tell me! I would do anything to help you. Or do you not see that? Do you not see that I love you?"
Oh yeah, she went there. But so this is clear.....she loved him true, but she knew that they were never to be. She understood that fully and had accepted it. She had a man in her life whom she loved and he had somebody as well. But gods! Something had to snap him out of it...If that is what it took, then so be it.
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Nov 26, 2009 15:13:58 GMT -8
Gabriel stared pensively at the wall before him, the portraits feature became mauled into an all out war within his mind. Men in clad suited armor going to war in an epic montage of scenes. He'd been in that form of bloody warfare. His body throbbed from the consistency of painful blows meeting his arms the savage blows tearing into his frame as he stood to meet them. Eventually the image held him, standing beside new faces at the very end. This was his final stand, and for the life of him he was smiling there facing down death without fear.
Snapping out of it Gabriel shifted to look at Kevala a calm endeavor focused now to cool his words and facade, "I am nothing without my past... A future without a past is like a building without an infrastructure."
Gabriel sighed letting a hand trek across her cheek briefly, he'd stand to walk to the center of the circular building.
"I will make this future of mine...better." A soft chuckle as he found himself staring at nothing once more, eyes envisioning a future he'd behold in a short while. What was needed was a stronger grasp of whom he was.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Nov 26, 2009 17:11:16 GMT -8
She stayed where she was until he once again acknowledged that she was there. That brush of his hand to her cheek getting her head to instinctively tilt into his touch.
~Stop that~
~I cant help it!!~
She shook her head and shifted to move out of his way as he stood. She, herself standing and following...She understood what he was saying, but she saw that it was eating away at him and that bothered her. But if he said he was fine then who was she to doubt him?
Oh yeah she was Kev and she just did stuff like that. Heh
Moving to stand beside him, she would let her small form brush against his as she smiled softly and looked off into the nothingness just as he did. A gentle brush of her hip against his as she spoke.
"Well you have me in it, so I would say that is an excellent start. Wouldn't you?"
She laughed softly, her little, wet, form shivering softly. Finally she would sigh and move to stand before him. Her hand coming up and resting against his jawline as she looked up at him with that icy gaze, lightly forcing his head to turn down so that he could look at her.
"But seriously Gabriel..Your past is important..I understand that...But to let it eat away at you the way it does, to keep it locked inside and never let anyone close to you...that is not good. It will only end up causing more harm that good. I think you know this..but are too damn stubborn to admit it."
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Nov 26, 2009 17:38:47 GMT -8
Gabriel made a soft chuckle fading his head down to angle towards hers for but a moment with quick recluse. He didn't need to bother much with parting words but everything here had indeed held some temporary purpose in his mind. Or perhaps that was his reasoning to his fading sanity, regardless he still moved on to face the next challenge, the next opportunity.
"Perhaps its best that way." He said shortly before striding off to the kitchen without another word.
He passed by in all and walked into the wilted garden finding it barren of life aside from a single crimson rose. It's features mirroring his own battered expression but in some skewed way it was beautiful.
A cold hand patted at it's edge illuminating the flower in a strange radiant light as it aged and grew, germinating into an elder flower. The flower wilted and bore several new flowers beneath it's stem. In a matter of minutes the field of flowers grew and die spreading throughout like a time machine, it was like looking through time seeing the flowers grow into a brand new garden. Beauty everywhere.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Nov 26, 2009 17:59:53 GMT -8
Gods that man!! She would sigh as he walked away. Her mind battling with itself over what to do now.
~Just leave! Have them take you home~
~Do not give up on him! What would that say about you~
~He does not want to let me in~
~He just does not know he does...Think of what you feel and go from there.~
She sighed softly and would turn to follow in the direction that he had gone. Coming upon him as the flowers began to grow and die...Blue eyes turning to him as she shook her head.
She would stay away from him for the time being. Letting her mind run over what to say, what to do. She did not want to anger him, or push him too far, but she did not want to give up. The voice in her head was right......based on how she felt, she could not just walk away. She was stubborn, unless he had missed that fact about her.
Slowly she would take steps toward him, drawing in a deep breath as she reached him, her small hand reaching out to touch his free hand. A slightly timid, yet caring touch. Warm despite the cold of the rain that had soaked into her little form.
"It is not for the best. Some people care about you too much to let you keep this up.
I care about you too much to let you keep doing this. I get that you do not feel for me the way I do you....but does that have to mean that you shut me out?"
She did not know what to do in this situation, if he felt for her even close to what she did him it would make reaching him seem so much easier...but as it stood, she had a great wall to get over and though she knew that she could do such eventually, it was still frustrating to say the least.
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Nov 26, 2009 18:16:36 GMT -8
Gabriel felt everything rise up within him as the surging wave of roses petaled the area with a strong aroma matching his current turbid emotive state. Crimson eyes began melting back to topaz showing another side of himself he didn't want to let free. Everything that he was up to this point was control, never had anything been out of that control, life was a game so why did people manage to play this way to endanger themselves and make themselves weak before a metaphorical master? It pained him.
"Thats exactly how it must be. Because without this wall I build for myself I am just fragile, there'd be nothing else left of me but emptiness and harm."
His voice was coarse at first leveling slowly to a calm sigh, standing at his full height he'd look down towards Kevala setting an open palm at her cheek, Gabriel's hand still emanating with the warmth of his Qi.
"You can't understand me because thats how I make it... I make my own destiny not you." Gabriel said without a drop of emotion, nor heat or anger. Everything now was simplistic realization of his own self-proclaimed fantasy.
He'd kiss the top of her head hugging her close enough but never truly close to his heart. Because without that wall he would find himself broken once more. He had to keep that heart safe behind the walls he'd created or let the burning heat of his own desire and passion overwhelm a world unready for such love.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Nov 26, 2009 18:36:20 GMT -8
She did not know who he was trying to fool. Himself or her. Either way she knew that there was something in him that he kept guarded, and even as she felt his warm touch against her, felt that kiss to the top of her head and the hug he offered, she knew that he was not really letting his emotions show through.
She should have been hurt, upset, more determined...but instead she was angry and frustrated and about ready to snap his head off. Okay, so she couldnt do that..but gods how she wanted to.
Her small arms slipping out to wrap lightly about his waist as she let her head rest against him, her mind running over what she could do as she spoke.
"Why? Because you think that if you let me in I will hurt you? That I wont understand? That I would not like what I see?"
She shook her head as she shifted away and then looked up at him, her hands still resting lightly on his sides as she cast that icy gaze up to him.
"What do I have to say? What do I have to do to show you what I feel for you? That I would never hurt you...."
She took a step back, her fist coming forth to punch him in the chest. Not hard, but enough to get his attention.
"Gah! I love you, you stubborn ass! And dont go giving me your apologies about how you cant ever feel the same or that we can never be or whatever....I knew what I was doing when I let myself fall and I do not regret it despite the fact that so many things will always stand in the way..despite the fact that you will never look at me a fraction of the way I do you..
So dont think I am expecting anything in return..All I ask is that you let me in. Show me what it is you keep hidden from others. I have earned it I think. I have proven time and again that I will not leave your side if you need me...that I will stand with you through anything..."
She kept those eyes locked on him as she bit down on her lower lip, her hands coming to rest at her sides. She hated ranting but he was slowly irritating her and well......she was Kev after all. Heh
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