Enough ( Gabriel )

[Kevala Badoer]

It had been a couple nights since the event in the park. Kevala had not seen nor spoken to Gabriel since then. Not because she did not want to, hell if she had her way she would be with him all the time. But as it stood, she did not know what to say to him. She did not know where things stood in her own mind. It was never a question of where they stood with him really.

After all, he would tease her and he would use her and he would take care of her, but that was the extent of their relationship.

Then why are you dressed this way? Do you really think that man would give you the time of day now? I swear you are so stupid sometimes. I mean really. He was with your best friend and sure, you guys are no where near a couple or anything, but the fact remains......What has she given him? What did she do to deserve that and not you?

I am sure once you talk to him things will be fine. He will explain and he will smooth it over. He always does. You look very nice so stop being so nervous about it. If he notices then he notices, if not then you can always go home and let Spike tell you that you look pretty....If he is there that is..Or you could call up Jason or somebody like that.

I do not want to call anyone....you know that. So just...shut up.

She would look down at the dress she was wearing. Not that she had actually chosen it because she was coming here. Just because she liked it and well, it made her feel good. Something she had not felt since that night.

Offering a smile to the security she would slip into the house. Her icy hues scanning over the rooms as she made her way through trying to find him. Her long black hair falling down about her petite frame as she finally found him.

Leaning up against the door frame she would speak up softly. Though her tone was calm and not showing the true emotions she felt within herself. No, she was not going to break down. Nor let him see how badly she hurt inside. There would be no point in it. He would still be just as cold as ever. She was sure.

"We need to talk....."

[Gabriel Seran]

Gabriel would descend the stairs effortlessly though in slow progression he was not exactly himself at the given time, he was calm, tired, and just bustling with thoughts that could not be deciphered as one good ploy to another. The least of his worries were domestic problems, anything by which he would seek to solve when the time came and on top of which he'd build a strong barricade to fortify his position. Yes he dealt within military terms always the strategist.

"We need to talk....."

Gabriel would face her a calm collected face, those words always meaning something bad at least on one front or another. His golden hues focusing on her fragile frame only to take into account her beautiful condition. Though was this the time for compliments or rather brass grass.

"You look beautiful ma belle, so talk..." So he'd cover both bases.

[Kevala Badoer]

Dont you dare fall for that. He is just complimenting you because he knows it gets to you. We discussed this! It is all a game for him. You mean nothing. Dont forget that.

Dont be silly. He noticed you. He meant his words. You have to see that. He does want you, just....can never have you and you can never have him. You know this and have accepted it. Be careful what you say. You could push him away forever. You know you have bad luck like that.

She would draw in a deep breath as she let the two voices ramble on in the background of her thoughts. A little sigh passing her lips as she nodded her head lightly toward him.

"Thank you Gabriel."

Kev was lost here. She really did not know what she was doing but she had to do it. She could not continue on with the way things were. She needed something....anything.....Or at least to get out what she needed to say and be done with it.

"Why do you do this to me Gabriel? I want the truth. Not some ploy at controlling me. I am loyal to you no matter your answer. But I need to know why you insist on hurting me so. Is it funny to you? Do I mean that little that you would toy with me in such a manner?"

The pain she tried to keep hidden slowly surfacing in her eyes in the form of a thin layer of tears. Growling at herself she would turn her head to look away from him. Allowing her hair to fall and partially cover her face from view.

[Gabriel Seran]

Gabriel felt that twinge of guilt hit hit, no he wasn't truly evil, he never could be because he cared to much not simply just for Kevala nor the other loves in his life that he'd held close but for all of humanity. Despite their hate ridden ploys their sick dictations and cruel means he'd never meant to destroy them but tear them down to build them up like the great many cities burnt down around their bases. Yes she did matter. But he was cold.

"The truth is..." He inched closer pulling her face to look at him softly so he could feel this pain as well through her own eyes, "The truth is I care too much and there is no peace in that, I have promised myself so many times that I cannot hold you, nor anyone else close as a lover because in the end I'm fated to give my heart to the world, it is theirs and not mine. All that I am is but a single purpose..."

Gabriel sighed his features becoming soft now to hers, "But you are right, I am yours but you cannot have me all to yourself."

Gabriel said selfishly, his pride and ambitions for the world superseded everyone's emotions and contracts, he was the world's martyr only because he made himself out to be.

[Kevala Badoer]

She felt his hand upon her face, turning her so that her eyes could look into his. As he spoke the words, combined with the emotions that came from him would cause a single tear to slide free from the corner of her eyes, slowly slipping down her delicate cheek.

She let him finish, her mind silent as the words sank in. Even the voices, her now constant companions had nothing to say in response. Gee..Thanks guys...Heh...

Drawing in a light, shakey breath her hand came up. Those delicate and soft fingertips brushing against his jawline as she struggled with her words.

"I..I have never asked for you to be mine. I have known from the start that you could never belong to me. I only ask...do you love me? Does some part of you long for me as I do you? Or is it simply a game to you?"

She needed to know this. She had to have some form of an answer so she could know where she stood.

Though she had already decided, that despite his answer, she would remain here, by his side......through all the pain and longing...she was and would forever be his.

"You give so much of yourself to the world. I have told you once before...when we first met, that I knew you did this. I saw in you somebody who would give himself to a world that really did not want him. Do not think I am foolish enough not to see this? I see more than you think I do.

I only wish to be here for you. Regardless what that means for me. The girl who surrendered her heart to the man who gave his to the world.."

Her tone soft, broken and breathless as she spoke, those eyes filling with more tears as she looked at him. Timidly drawing her hand back from him. She learned never to push herself too far upon him. It would only end badly for her.

[Gabriel Seran]

Gabriel stood there thoughtful for but a few seconds as her took the hair barring her vision and pressed it away and out of her face, using his thumbs to calmly wipe away her tears.

"Yes, there is a part of me that is solely yours for the taking... Never forget that or have any doubt in that."

Gabriel would say simply tugging her into a gentle hug, but that's all it could be, because he cared but this world needed him so much more. Though he could make one more promise to her in this position.

"I'll make you a promise, when I'm done with this world you shall see it born anew.. And everything is going to be alright."

[Kevala Badoer]

She wrapped her small arms around him as she let her head rest against his chest. Shaking it slightly as she struggled to gather herself once more. Her words coming forth as she tried to keep from completely breaking down.

"Silly man.....Though I know nothing I can ever say will truly reach you...Always remember, that I am here for you no matter what. I love you with all my heart and would rather see this world fall apart than to lose you."

It killed her that she would never have him. That he would never allow himself anything other than where they were right now. It tore her apart inside and would, regardless how well this world ended up when it was all over.

But he did not see that. He did not see that she would always hate this world because it kept him from loving her.

[Gabriel Seran]

He settled in nicely holding her till the sun set and rose as though no time had passed at all it was simply pleasant just being there in all it's entirety. What she didn't know is that he couldn't love anything, his duty towards the world was above all else, even the brink of his own happiness, because what he'd loved was now what he'd lost. And a promise was made unto that dying breath to change the world, it'd meant everything to him.

Everything...


[end]