Just Let Me Die! ( Open )

[Kevala Badoer]

Kevala laid there, her eyes not really going from one to the other as she listened to what each of them had to say. Her small hand still gripping that paper that Gabriel had slipped her as if her life depended on it. And quite honestly, it did.

Finally, she would whimper softly, her hand, the one which was still empty, trying to move and unable to do so. Though she would simply give up on this and brush her tongue over her lips.

Her dull eyes finally shifting back to Emily as she gave the slightest shake of her head.

"Mon...ster..."

She thought that of herself, and honestly, she felt that perhaps the twins would be better off without her. They would have a more stable life if they were to go with Spike, and would be well protected.

As for her friends, she was sure that someday she would let them down, she always did, and they always left her. It was just part of being Kevala, and honestly she was tired of it.

"Everyone....leaves..."

Her voice soft, barely above a whisper and broken....her mind had the words, but her mouth could not form them. It was quite the problem indeed.

[seishounohana]

Everyone leaves, she said.

That is the truth of life. Either by death or by pure selfish desires man leaves his fellow man alone; it was inevitable, and people slowly realized that it was a particularly miserable race.

"Only Gabriel did, Kevala." Emily said, "Me? No. I'm right here, aren't I?" She would then look towards Quan and Mitsukai, acknowledging them as well. "We're all here for you."

Until she could pick up the pieces for herself and finally manage to think for her own sake with her own mind. Obsession wasn't healthy, Emily knew that much from experience.

[Drea]

Even as Emily spoke those last supportive words, Drea would slam in through the doors, her clothes mismatched and her appearance in obvious disarray.

"Kevala?!" her eyes were frantic as she focused in on the girl on the bed. "Oh, God, you're alive." She leaned against the door frame for only a moment to regain her breathe before moving towards her friend.

"I'm sorry I'm late," she apologized guiltily. Her feelings were in her eyes. Confusion, guilt, shame for not being there, concern, and love. She was someone who could all too easily understand why a person might try to kill themselves, but it didn't help any when they happened to be her friend.

Unsure of what to say - of whether she'd even be accepted after her many failings to be there - Drea fidgeted halfway between the bed and door. She wanted to go to her friend, but would Kevala want her there? Despite her growing dislike for Gabriel, Drea was first and foremost, concerned with the girl that Katsuri had introduced her to before disappearing.

[This... is late, huh? D:]

[Kevala Badoer]

[ooc: It is okay!! I dont mind!!! ]


Kevala just laid there, eyes shifting every once and awhile back and forth between the ones that were still there....and the new arrival she had heard enter the room.....

She heard the words...and inside she tried to find the words to speak....to reply.....she even tried to hear the voices with their usual comments about what was going on....But there was nothing......

She missed them............

It was funny the things you missed once they were gone...Things you had thought you did not want or need.........

Another tear slid down her pale face as she drew in a soft, shakey breath...her little hand gripping that note for all the strength should could manage..which was not much....It was all (in her mind) that she had left of him....and she was not about to let it go........

Yet inside she started to feel the pain and the pity that everyone in the room felt for her......too many of them here....too many emotions on an already weakened state.....She could not handle it...she wanted to feel her own pain and nothing more......

Those dull blue eyes slowly shifting to black.....red swirling within them as the air in the room started to shift.....pain seemed to hang from every corner of the room...thick and heavy......soon the feeling of loss....longing......heartbreak would follow.......

Now, nobody could be affected by this...for it was merely Kevala making her own feelings known to the world......blocking their own out and sharing what she felt....and not everyone could really pick up on them.....Though it was something akin to walking into a room full of tension after a fight had just broken out.......The air was thick...and you knew something was wrong..........It was her own self defense mechinism and she used it now...as best she could......

No words to be spoken this time......the attempt to do so much more stressful than what she felt, though she did look up to Emily....a soft whimper given as if to say she knew what the girl spoke was the truth........

It was the best she could do.........