Blanket of Fear [Quan Tian Meng]

[Nova Bryant]

Normally...when people have fears, they tend to go out and try to defeat them; right? Seek the answers behind the thing that scares them... Hoping that upon their return home, they can rest knowing the fear is nothing and that all is well. Well, I guess that's how normal people act, right? Or so I've been told.

It's been about a month, maybe more... Since I moved to Long Beach, leaving behind PHS 42 and the scary people. All of those who step on others to become strong. I guess there are fears, after all... So many people from...that school came here.

I hope...he didn't...

School... It has become more than something I have grown to hate. A little more, especially since there are so many of the male gender about.... Irrational fear of men... A fear of accents and red haired people. Maybe, I'm paranoid. After all, what are the chances of running into him here? Safety... ha! Such a thing is laughable. I thought I was safe back there too... But apparently I wasn't. They hunted me down there too and I was attacked by some random student.

Really.. Do the students of the public school system have nothing better to do? Pick on random people, hurt them? Why?...why...why...

The tick tocking of the classroom clock was heard over the eerie silence of the classroom, there was a test in session; of course there was silence. Nervous green eyes looked down at the paper on her desk, she was seated in the back corner. Strange people all around her, strange..probably dangerous people. The dark haired girl remained silent, looking up every now and then. Of course, the test was finished, it was easy... It left her in a sense of fear and worry, strangers. So many strange face, so many rumours through the halls.

She was afraid.

Nova grabbed her bag and picked up her test, heading to the teacher's desk, setting it down and running out of the classroom. The less time spent there the better. Even if she felt the eyes of others on her, it was good to know, she could go home. Looking around the halls, her eyes accidentally met with others. Focusing on the ground, the Nova started to walk.

Escape...escape...escape.

With her head down, the girl hurried down the hall...Only to walk head first into a wall. Taking a step backwards, she'd trip over a pile of books near a locker, falling backwards into an open locker door and onto some feet. Mission failed.

Without even looking up, the girl would say:"I'm sorry about that..." Trying to get up, only to step on a folder and slip, once more she'd fall on her butt. Nervousness and an attempt as an exit...never seemed to mix quite well. Her heart was pounding as so many thoughts flew through her head, most of which seemed to do nothing more than fuel her paranoia. The girl was trembling as she tried to once again get up, once again not very successful.

"Don't hurt me....Please, it was an accident.."

[Quan Tian Meng]

Quan had just gotten out of classes. The day was over and he was glad for it. He was out of money and he wanted to eat tonight so well, he had to get out of here and back on the streets. This school place was a riot and all but it just wasn't where it was at. Quan wasn't even sure what he was doing in classes anyway. It was all a dead end. His future wasn't in this school or in any school. There was no place for him here he was just wasting time. He was a street rat. he was born a street rat and he would die a street rat. Of that he was convinced. He had been told that his entire life so why wouldn't he believe it? Not that it was a particularly big deal to him, he could handle himself on the streets so he wasn't to afraid of the prospect of being stuck there the rest of his natural born life.

Anyway dressed in the usual worn jeans with the holes and the worn white t shirt with the black outlining he stood at his locker. Of course it was worth mentioning that he had the black fingerless gloves as well. Any who he was at his locker whistling some random tune as he loaded his the metal tin with all of his books. Sure he had a good deal of homework but really? He wasn't going to do any of it. It was easy and he didn't have the time or place to do it. With no intentions of graduating it was not too terribly high on his priority list. Getting out of here though was. As he paid no care towards the care of the school books he threw them into the locker as quickly as he could. As much as he wanted to get out of here he was behind schedule, something that was only about to get worse.

With a crash he was sent by his locker door to the floor.

"Gǒu shǐ!" came the obligatory cuss word as Quan hit the ground. (Shit). The accent was one that was of a person from beijing, not that that really mattered if one didn't know what that sounded like. But regardless it was.

"Don't hurt me....Please, it was an accident.."

Quan frowned. He was not necessarily a nice guy but he wasn't a bad guy either. That and he kept a fairly low profile around here. He was rather confused as to why she was seemingly convinced that he was going to hurt her. It was enough of a confusion that as he offered her a hand to get up he asked, in english, a boston accent actually, "Why do you think I'm going to hurt you?"

An accent that should be rather familiar to her, well save the irish tinge...

[Nova Bryant]

You'd assume if anyone asked a person why they assumed something, that the person had made a poor choice in assuming something about the stranger in question. Well, that is if you knew the area was a good one. When living in a land crawling with those whom find joy in harming others, can you really not be afraid? I mean, those people.... Maybe... It's just me that holds this fear of them.

She was scared, looking down at the ground for a moment. The moment the young man offered her a hand she tried to get up once again, only to make a fool of herself again. He was offering her a hand, perhaps he wasn't all that bad. There was a voice that spoke that all would be okay, but she was over powered by fear.. See, things would have progressed something, had he not spoken in English, revealing his very interesting accent.Why!? HIS ACCCEENNNTT. Looking up in horror, she'd accept his hand up. It was obvious she'd only continue to fail and make an ass of herself. Hands were shaking as she got to her feet with help of the stranger, moment's after she'd take a few steps back. Only staying because he engaged in conversation with her.

"I...i...." At that point, she was having a hard enough time getting the words to come out.

Wishing to do nothing more than to run, Nova stood before the stranger with the almost Irish Accent.... Irish!? Looking up at his face for a moment, she confirmed the strange was indeed....not him... Although, the accent alone was enough to fool her, to play to her fears... Of men with accents.

"I....I...I was...I..."

Grasping the strap of her messenger bag tightly, Nova tried to form words to express what she was told. Sure it was about those from another school, but with most going back to Public High School 259, it still had to be true, right? Nova's green stare fell to the ground as she struggled to find words. Why must things be so difficult?

[b["I...I...was told..to be careful... Someone told me..that the people.. from here.. where dangerous..."[/b][/color]

She felt like a fool, sinking to levels, cowering from people, avoiding everyone. Why? Because of something one person had done to her, because of her stalker like parents? It was uncontrollable at that point, she couldn't help but submerge herself in the fears that would never go away. becoming a trembling mass of useless, Nova was not herself anymore, but then again no one really knew that.

"I'm sorry!"

She'd quickly lower her head and hope he'd be done with her. The wish to go back to her empty apartment grew, she wanted to hide away for the rest of the school year.

[Quan Tian Meng]

Terrified was an understatement it would seem. There was something that was sending this girl into fits. Quan frowned again. For some reason he felt off about this. He couldn't quite explain it but something about this didn't feel right. Quan smiled at her trying to reassure here that he was not some crazy psychotic murderer that she thought he was, "I'm not going to hurt you, honest."

"I...I...was told..to be careful... Someone told me..that the people.. from here.. where dangerous..."

"Nah," Quan smiled, "I heard the opposite."

It was true he had heard from Matrim that it wasn't too bad. Yeah, this school had it's share of fighting but it wasn't that bad. You keep your head down and you would be fine. Not so much and it would be a fight probably, most likely but it would stop at that. The fight would end at the knockout. It wasn't like his old school which was a relief. At Quan's old school a fight usually ended with someone pulling out a knife and stabbing the other. Maybe he was lying a little, he had never really gotten into the fight scene here so he didn't know. He just wanted to calm the girl down a little.

Quan held out his hand and with a grin, he introduced himself, "My name's Quan Tian Meng."

After the introductions were made he would point out, "Hey ya know about self fulfilling prophecy? The one about becoming what you fear? If you act like a victim you'll probably become one. Have a little confidence ya know? Fake it til you make it."

As far as Quan was concerned he was helping her out, or at least trying to. Give her a little friendly advice. Maybe it was an old friend rubbing off on him but he could spare a few minutes to help some one out if he could, no big deal to him.

[Nova Bryant]

Accepting advice from someone who sounds like him, it didn't settle right with me at the time. Perhaps I was too consumed in the fear that everyone was out to get me. I knew all to well that not everyone was bad, but it was just something I couldn't shake. I don't know why, but that day so long ago, it scared me. I mean, it had to have, since I went from friendly and nice to all, to a trembling mess afraid of her own shadow. His words spoke to me, I remember them, but I couldn't try. There was always something holding me back.

"Really? ...I'm glad..."

He didn't seem too bad, but his voice... His accent. Every time he spoke, she remembered that night, the memories of all that had happened. The hours she spent hanging, suspended over the ground, the creak of the chains as she swayed to and fro, and the long treck to the roof. Most could have gotten over it, why did it effect her life so much? loosening her grip on the strap, Nova calmed down a little. He'd given her name and advice, she had to cool it.

"Thanks Quan...Tian Meng." Lowering her head once again,"I'm sorry."

Quan wasn't Patrick.

The people in the school weren't like him or her parents.

She wasn't the victim to everything, just a few.

Nova had to realize that she wasn't the target to things, but at the same time.... it just couldn't be pushed aside. He was being nice, why couldn't she be normal? "My name is Nova Bryant..." Her voice was low as she spoke, her gaze fixed on the ground. Finding it hard to lock eyes with someone who sounded like the man from that day.

Calm down...what are the chances...you'll be fine.... Or so you wish...Silly..silly.. You aren't helping...

[[OOC: rewr, sorry D: ]]

[Quan Tian Meng]

She seemed, hesitant. She gave little trust to him and that was an understatement. More correct was that she gave no trust to him. Even severe mistrust seemed somewhat of an inadequate description of it. It was something different entirely. Not only did she have no trust of him she had something that Quan had seen many times, felt at times himself in his younger days. An abject fear that bordered on the the lines of sheer terror. He was somewhat distressed at the fact. He had put his fear behind him because well he had been a kid at the time. For her to feel such a thing what exactly had she gone through? And more importantly why was this directed at him? Quan chuckled somewhat nervously at the prospect as he replied, "Nice to meet you Nova."

An awkward moment of unplaced guilt passed by. He felt bad for putting her in this situation. The moment was replaced by and awkward silence until Quan shook his head out of his thought. A genuine grin replaced his look of confusion and concern. He smiled honestly at her as he asked, "Hey Nova I'm kinda new here and I'm looking for a friend. Can you help me out?"

He gave a genuine almost closed eye smile. He honestly wanted to ask her this question but had no malice or ill will in his heart. He had no idea what he was about to do to her. What he was about to put her through. Make her relive. It was horrible but he was completely unaware.

"Do you know a Patrick O'Connor?" Quan asked going off on a little tangent, off in his own little world making the hand signals to fit the description, "You know, he's got red hair, this kinda unnerving green eyes that have kinda a friendly quality through it all. He's got an irish accent. Annnnnd, uhhhh, oh yeah! He's got a scar that runs down the right side of his face. Kinda cutting the eye in two."

As he described the scar he smiled widely bringing his right index finger down through the eye. He had know idea that he had just described the man that was the source of her dread, the source of her terror. He had no idea what his friend had become...

[Nova Bryant]

What are the odds of running into a person after transferring? I had always assumed that once you transfer, you are gone and have no chance of seeing those faces again. Freedom and knowing they were gone from your life... I thought it was like that.... Apparently I was wrong..

As nice as he seemed, she couldn't shake it; the fear. Never once looking him in the eye, she'd listen to his explanation. He was new to the area, very much like she was. Looking for a friend, it was a shame she couldn't help him, after all Nova didn't know anyone in the school. but she'd listen to his description anyways, not wishing to make him unhappy and all. The name sounded familiar, looking up at Quan, she'd stare wide eyed, as he explained what he looked like. To her misfortune, Quan was describing him...

Green eyes began to water as for the first time, she looked at the young man. As much as she fought it, the more she felt like crying. It wasn't long before she had streams of tears running down her cheeks, looking upon a 'friend' of his. He was a friend, did that make Quan like him?

Wait...

"He's...he's...not here...is he!?" Her voice was shaky and she quivered in fear.

The very idea of Patrick being in the same school again, knowing that she could some how run into him again scared her. The bit of safety she thought she had was gone, disappearing with every second that passed. Her legs were shaking and she looked at him with her teary eyes, searching for the answer. Wishing that Patrick was not in the school... No where. Gone.

If only.

"He's not here, right?"

[Quan Tian Meng]

"He's...he's...not here...is he!?"

She was shaking near violently and on the verge of tears.

Shit. Was the only tangible word that Quan could think of. He had feared the worst but hope had held him to cling to the fact that his friend may have become more subtle in his hate of gangs. But in the pit of his heart he had known, or felt he had known the truth. Patrick was not the man he had thought he was, Not the person that he had remembered. The Patrick Quan had remembered was fading. The image of him in his head becoming less clear. Quan felt saddened. Hopeless. Like Patrick really had died in that warehouse.

But Quan had to know the extent of his friend's condition, the extent of his fall. How far exactly had he gone and more importantly why? One does not change like that overnight. Quan was sure that he had not taken that route so suddenly. Those were answers that he likely couldn't get at the moment but he could get a few, maybe,

"Nova," Quan said slowly, uncertainly, "What exactly did Patrick do? And why?"

"He's not here, right?"

"I don't know," Quan lied, well actually he told the truth but he was sure he was lying, "He's supposed to be here but I haven't seen him."

He lied of his certainty to try and give her some comfort. To try and give her some sense of security as false as it may be. He didn't know exactly what Patrick had done to her but he knew that it had to be bad, what else would have brought her to this state? Quan couldn't help but feel his mind jumping randomly. Feelings of hopelessness and sadness overtaking him. Illusions that had held him together all these years crumbling down right in front of his eyes.

What happened to you Patrick? Was there anything I could have done to prevent this? Where did I go wrong? Why didn't I do anything? What the hell happened man? What changed you?

"Tā mā de/Fuck..."

[Nova Bryant]

Why was always the question on her mind, what exactly had she done to him to warrant such a thing? All she had done was bump into him, she had even apologized. Apparently sorry wasn't good enough in the case, since it lead to her later dangling from the roof... fighting for her life. Had she really done something so horrible!? why why why? Her eyes wandered down to the ground, trying to keep herself from reliving it. Trying to find the words to say to the stranger.

"I only walked into him, I even apologized..." A quite volume and words spoken out of confusion.

She didn't under stand it at all.

"I...He...my jaw...Hanging from the school...Crucified.."

At that point her words became harder to say, to her she never wished to relive such a thing. To many, it would be something they could get past, forget about; or maybe she just wished everyone else could. Others suffer through worse, she just couldn't forget about it. Shaking her head, the girl brought a trembling hand to her eyes to wipe her tears away.

The dark haired girl was still looking at her feet, feeling pathetic, yet consumed by fear. relived by the words the young man had said, she could only hope they were true. Nova never wished to see Patrick again, never never never...

No matter how nice he was, Quan was friends with Patrick... Although he seemed nice, there was still doubt within the girl; a fear that stayed with her. Left wondering if he too would attack, regardless of how nice he had been. Avoiding any more eye contact with him she tried to stop the flow of tears with her hands. It didn't work. Nova was weak and continued to silently cry before the young man with her head hung and her hair covering her face.

Don't come here...Don't come tot his school...Stay away...

Perhaps wishing for it would keep her safe?

[Quan Tian Meng]

"I only walked into him, I even apologized... I...He...my jaw...Hanging from the school...Crucified.."

"I, I-uh, I don't understand," Quan said dumbfounded. He was just as confused as she was. He didn't know what was going on but the veiled whispers didn't sound good about his friend. They sounded awful. He did something to her jaw? Broke it most likely? Left her hanging? Crucified her? He didn't know too much about crucification other then the fact that it was an execution method that was utilized because of the embarrassing humiliation that it put the victim through. That and it was supposed to be an incredibly painful way to die. It was just too much to believe that Patrick could do such a thing. The Patrick he knew wouldn't have even gone overboard in a heated fight. He just didn't understand and so he stood there dumbfounded.

Nova started to cry. Perhaps Quan had asked too much of her. He felt bad for what he had done. For what he had put her through by asking her the questions. By allowing Patrick or whoever it was that occupied his body to do this. Damn, he should have been more thorough instead of running from the cops. Should have stayed to identify bodies. Should have stayed to learn the full details of the deaths. Fuck, if he could only go back in time and change that. He started to tremble. Denial was ever so slightly trying to fade. This girl offered undeniable proof about his friend, no former, friend's actions. I mean, how many Irish accented people with red hair and green eyes have a scar over there right eye?

As Quan trembled and Nova cried he did something not even he could predict. He wrapped his arms around the girl and brought her head to his neck. He embraced her to assuage both her and his own feelings of fear, sadness and confusion. He spoke, his voice trembling, "I don't know what to say other then I'm sorry. The Patrick I know, no knew would never do that. He would have died before allowing someone to do that to another person. He used to be a different person. I don't know what happened. I think somewhere along the way I screwed up. Maybe I'm to blame somehow. I'm sorry. I'm..."

Quan stopped. The trembling and the stammering stopped too. Clearly and resolutely for perhaps the first time in his life he spoke definitively, "I'm going to find out what happened to him. I'm going to find out why he changed. And most importantly I'm going to make him account for what he's done..."

Quan stood there in silence. He didn't quite understand the gravity of what he just said, and probably wouldn't for awhile but he meant every word of it.

After a good pause Quan would speak again, this time in a beijing accent, speaking to no one but himself, "Patrick, chéng wéi nǐ yǒu shé me， shī qù le péng yǒu?/Patrick, what have you become, lost friend?

[Nova Bryant]

The young man was confused by her words, it was obvious. Perhaps they were thinking of different people, as much as he wished it.. It wouldn't change the fact, his friend was the one that had been the one to Attack Nova. Her eyes wouldn't stop, she looked up at him for a moment, staring at the confusion expressed upon his face. She felt bad for him, to find out something about a friend is never fun. She felt a little safer, seeing someone else in a moment of weakness made her believe he really meant no harm. No one was that good of an actor, right?

Just thinking that made her feel horrible, crying still.. Afraid with the new worry that he was around... Nova felt the safe world she had built crumble beneath her feet. Sure, she was a shut in, leaving only for school and to get the necessities. It wasn't as happy as her life had once been, but... when hiding it was the best she could have. Fears consumed her life because of Quan's old friend. The more she thought about it, the more Nova became afraid of the days to follow.

He was there...somewhere.

Before she could run or say anything. The young man pulled her into an embrace, holding her tightly. Nova could feel him trembling, hearing the confusion and sadness in his voice as he spoke. Part of her wished to break free from the embrace, in fear that it was all an act. She'd remain in his arms, not fighting back. It was weird to be treated in such a fashion. He apologized in a trembling voice...

A declaration...spoken strongly, something was different the way he said it. Quan was going to find him... Helping a stranger in such a manner, getting so worked up over something that had happened at the hands of a friend. Nova couldn't help but wonder what Patrick was to him, were they good friends? The way he described him was far different than the young man she had run into in the hallway. It was strange to hear that he had turned into a monster from someone seemingly nice.

"I'm sorry...."

The dark haired girl felt bad, guilty the stranger Quan was introduced to such a side of his friend... Seeing the weak side of a stranger. Forced to hear things better left unsaid. Although she had not seen him, Nova wished for nothing more than for him to go away.... Far away. Patrick had to disappear from her mind and the city, she wanted freedom from the shadows of the past. If it was possible.

[Quan Tian Meng]

"I'm sorry...."

Quan slowing let go of the embrace and stepped back. He still had trouble. trouble believing it. Trouble accepting it. He didn't want to believe that his friend, whom he thought that even after all this time without a shadow of a doubt would be anything but what he assumed. Quan had figured that his personality type was so strong that he could never change from what he believed and acted on. To think that he had changed a little hard but acceptable, but to think that he had done a complete one eighty? That itself was crazy. You were insane. The "unbreakable" breaking? After a long pause Quan said to Nova, "You have nothing to apologize for. Only he does. Only him. Don't apologize for his sins."

Everything was in somewhat of a haze for Quan. It was weird, it felt surreal. He had never felt anything like it. Everything in his life had been so clear cut. So understandable. It was simply. Get money to eat. Steal to get money. You don't steal you don't eat. You don't eat you die. Don't die. Don't screw up the sacrifice your mother made. And until now that was all it had been. That was all that he had to worry about, all he had worried about. But now everything had changed.

For the first time in his life he was confused by a problem he could not easily solve. One that he wanted to solve. In the past if he couldn't solve a problem easily he didn't because he didn't have time for it, now though things were different. He wanted to solve the problem. He wanted to but he just couldn't. He couldn't figure it out. He took another few steps back and his back hit the lockers behind him. He slid down to the ground. Elbows on his knees his head fell into his hands. He just couldn't understand...

He would spend a few hours there. Thinking. Trying to figure things out. He would solve nothing. He wouldn't eat that night. Other things were more important at this point.

But he just couldn't make heads or tails of it...

[Nova Bryant]

I wonder how such things could have made me quack and tremble, making me fear my very own shadow. How could something like that really have made to turn into who I was that day in the hall way? After all, I listen to those around me, hearing about their fights, the brushes with death and all they had to say. I endured a lot that night, but people go through so much worse. Why was I so weak?

Quan had let go of her and stepped away, telling her that she had no reason to apologize, That his friend's actions were his own and she had done nothing wrong. Nova looked at him for a moment, watching as he found a new spot on the ground. The poor young man looked unhappy, with so much left on his mind. She had a hand in turning his day upside down, making someone fill themselves with doubt and confusion. Her sad green gaze locked on him for a few moments, feeling guilty for revealing it to him.

"It happened at Public High School 42 in San Fransisco. I'm sorry Quan to have told you all of this."

Nova spoke quietly before turning her back to the young man and walking away. Looking back for a moment only and then she pushed open the doors to the school. The hall ways became loud with students following it, they had been dismissed. The loud clanking of lockers and the chatter of schoolmates. Nova had left just in time, walking down the street silently.

There was a new fear to add to it all.

Patrick was somewhere, she wasn't safe. Perhaps, it was only a one time thing, something only meant to happen once. There was a voice in her head that screamed to be careful, to watch out. No matter how unlikely it seemed, she couldn't shake the feeling. It was a long walk home, she just couldn't get it off her mind. Perhaps she was just to easily effected by things, but it was only to be expected. Nova was the way she was because of years of crap from her family, Patrick just added to it.