Second Chances ( Farren )

[Kevala Badoer]

Kevala had been debating all day about doing this. She was about to leave the high school, but she had one thing she thought she needed to do before she did.

She and Farren had gotten off on the wrong foot...okay that was an understatement, they had gotten off on the wrong continent actually. But she had done a lot of thinking and well, she figured it would not hurt to try and give it another shot.

Moving toward his office she would smile at the woman at the desk...a friendly, yet slightly off smile. No, things had not been great for Kev as of late...but she had struggled to get to where she was now. She could not talk much, but she did have the ability to write out some of the longer things she needed to say.

"I..Is he in?"

She would motion toward the door leading to Farren's office. Those slightly dull blue eyes showing that something was wrong. Not to mention the woman's eyes going straight to Kevala's wrists where those still fresh scars rested. Yes, she had tried to kill herself and everyone knew that.

Not that Kevala tried to make excuses for what she had done. No, she did not deny it nor did she feel shame over it.

Her current state of mind was more a block her mind had put up to protect her she supposed, nothing more. Not to mention her mind was heavy in thought a lot of the time.

She was a girl with a lot of things to worry about for the age of 18. But then this place tended to do that to people.

She would wait now, to see if she could go in or not. Not wishing to be too pushy. That would not serve for her purpose here today.

[Farren]

Miss Money Penny, aka Grace, smiled a genuinely welcoming grin and tapped out a few commands on her computer. She scanned through the day's appointment and saw that, yes, Farren was free for the next hour or so. Looking back up from the monitor, she pressed the two-way intercom button and announced evenly "Mr. Treborn, Ms. Kevala would like to speak to you." That was all she would do. Money Penny had seen the marks on the girl's arms but didn't even glance in their direction again. She had been around the block more than once in her life and knew when it was best to simply let things slide.

I heard the announcement and scrunched my eyebrows together quizically. Kevala wanted to see me? That was odd. I reached up and pushed the intercom button. "Okay, I was just finishing up some work. Send her right in." Money Penny would then usher the young girl in, saying no more.

When Kevala entered though she'd be greeted by a rather strange sight, at least if you were expecting your typical Guidance Counselor. I was shirtless and shoeless, wearing only my pair of loose, dark-wash khakis. Sweat dripped from my forehead as I balanced on the floor doing a perfectly straight one-arm handstand in the gap between my desk and the couch. I'd been like that for the last minute, banging out sets of inverted pushups. I'd actually had to hit the button with my toe when I'd answered the intercom a moment ago. Training, you understand. I had no choice in a setting like this. Besides...I found it relaxing.

Dropping back off my hand and onto my feet, I shook my head a little to get the pooled blood out of my face. I leaned against my desk and readjusted my broken right arm in its cheap fabric sling. That's why I was doing the stands one-handed. (Duh, right?) She could probably see the numerous scars I sported on my torso, the cuts and fading burns, and most prominently the blaring white surgical scar straight down my sternum from my collar bone to the bottom of my rib cage. I wiped drops of sweat from my face and motioned for Kevala to come in.

"Didn't expect to see ya anytime soon Kevala. Please, make yerself comfortable." I reached back behind my desk and pulled out my dress shirt, draping it over my shoulders and fighting awkwardly to get it on with my mangled arm. After a few moments of unsuccessful struggle I grunted and said "Sorry, damn arm's givin' me problems. If you'd like ta start go ahead, I'm listening. Argh, stupid sling..."

[Kevala Badoer]

Kevala would enter into the office and notice his rather strange appearance, but she said nothing and would simply nod in his direction as he spoke. Slowly she made her way to take a seat in one of the chairs across from him.

Her eyes going down as she struggled to get the words together to speak. Clearly distressed as she did so, though she would not really allow others to see the anger in her gaze.

Finally she managed to speak up softly.

"I..think we got off..on the wrong..foot"

She had to stop then. Not sure she could continue on without stammering to get it all together. She would then turn her eyes back up to his. That icy shade now dull and lifeless as she ran her tongue over her lips. No, she did not look like the same little firey one that had once been in his office.

But like him, a lot of things happened since the last time they had met and those things had taken their tole on her.

Drawing in a deep breath she would wait now. Letting him speak. Something he had proven he was good at. Just like he was good at reading into peoples actions and appearance. She was sure he would be able to handle this conversation where others may not.

But she would have to wait and see.

[Farren]

As Kevala spoke I continued fighting with the sleeve of my dress shirt until finally, just as she finished up, I managed to get my cast through the opening. "Ha-HA!" I said emphatically to myself, resetting the sling on the outside of the black shirt and beginning to button up the front. I continued to lean against the edge of my desk the entire time and waited a moment to collect my thoughts before speaking. Something was up with Kevala, something serious. Fresh scars on the wrists, voice weak, entire physical mannerisms different. I had to tread lightly here.

I finished up the last button, leaving two undone below the neck, and looked her square in the eye. You know, even as run-down as she looked, she was still a very pretty girl. Why do I always fall for the weird ones? "Agreed. That's really my fault. I was tryin' ta drag you and your loved ones inta my own vendetta. And fer what little it's worth, I'm sorry." I was even toned but sincere in what I said. "Sometimes my desires get tha best of me. It's wrong but it happens. Mistakes is what makes us human, after all."

I broke eye contact, pushed off my desk, turned, and sat down with a soft thump on the firm green couch by the window. I was still in front of Kevala but now a little off to her right. I had a feeling she didn't want me staring her down any more than I'd done already. I sat back against the back rest and placed one leg underneath me. As gently as I could I said "What brings ya here today, Kevala?"

[Kevala Badoer]

She would not really focus on him as he moved about. Unlike the last time they had met she would not worry that something was going to get her. She did not care honestly. Right now, death was still something she would welcome. Even if she had made amends with Gabriel.

As he moved away from the desk some, she would cast a slight glance up toward him before returning it to look out the window. It was the only way she could keep her mind at ease as of late.

"I...Need..H..Help"

She growled as once more the words would not come as they should. She needed help getting this fixed, and honestly she would try anything. She was not of use to Gabriel without being able to talk. She had to get past this thing and get back to normal.

It was the ONLY option. Biting down on her lower lip, she would sigh softly as she let her fingers wrap together in her lap, fidgeting lightly.

This was not the easiest thing in the world for her. She did not like to have to ask for anything. But sometimes one had to do what they did not want to achieve their goals.

And her goal was to help Gabriel to the full extent of her ability.

Gah!

Why the hell could her brain not fucking work right?

[Farren]

I remained still and relaxed. This was definitely not the Kevala I had butted heads with before. Either I was seeing an entirely different side to her...or maybe this was the real her. I breathed in and sighed, running fingers through my hair, collecting thoughts. Finally, after a few seconds of silence, I said,

"Okay, I'll help. I wanna help Kev. But I can't do anything unless I know what's wrong, what needs doin'. You know ya need help and that's great, that's tha first step. Now tell me why...what is it ya want help with?"

You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Luckily we were past that part. But you can fight for years and unless the person knows what they want to change, understands the problem down to the core...they'll never go farther than first base. This was Kevala's chance - to face whatever it was that was messing with her. Then we could move on.

[Kevala Badoer]

She sighed softly as she thought over what he was asking her. Finally she would reach into her bag, knowing that she would not be able to say all that she was thinking outloud, and pulling out a pen and notepad.

She flipped through the pages she had written on during other conversations and found a blank page, starting to jot down what she wanted to say.

I have not been able to speak more than a couple words at a time since the night I tried to kill myself. I have some form of mental block. Something inside my mind that refuses to allow me to express myself as I should.

She would then hand him the notepad. It was not all that would be said, but it was the most pressing matter. Though everything leading up to it, were very touchy.

Gabriel was a touchy subject. One that would send her off rather quickly. It was best to tread carefully on this matter. Though he did not know that. Nobody knew......except for Emily, and a few select others.

No.

Kevala had done well to keep their "relationship" under wraps.....Having not uttered a word to anyone of what he had told her, or any of the things they talked about. Nor would she ever do such. He trusted her and she would die before she would abandon that trust.

Those icy hues going up to the man before her, shaking her head lightly as she cleared away her wandering thoughts. She would let him read what she had written and then ask his next question. It was the only way things would be able to progress easily, given her current state.

[Farren]

I took the note from Kevala and read it slowly and carefully. This was turning into something more than teenage angst. It was both enlightening and troubling to learn she really had tried to kill herself. I looked up from the note and tried to deduce any more signs or symptoms, anything I could use to help. Without her being able to talk I'd have to play things by ear. (Pun not intended) Inability to speak has two causes - physical and psychological. Either the vocal cords or the parts of the mind dealing with speech are damaged, or, something has caused the mind to shut itself off...as a form of protection.

A suicide attempt definitely fit the bill. Which...oh shit, please no...

"...Aphonia?"

I sat up off the couch and stepped around behind me desk, scanning through a few stacks of textbooks I had on the shelves. I pulled out a thick, dog-earred copy and started flipping through pages, trying to find it. And there it was. Aphonia: the medical term for the inability to speak. Usually caused by physical means, sometimes it manifested as 'Hysterical Aphonia'. As the texbook said, loss of the ability to produce sounds. In hysterical aphonia, the patient's cough and whisper are normal, and examination of the throat reveals normal movement of the vocal cords.
The immediate cause is a stressful event or situation that leads the patient to develop bodily symptoms as symbolic expressions of a long-standing psychological conflict or problem.

I walked slowly back to my seat on the couch, reading the passage again and again as I did. I sat down, thinking all the while that I hoped it wasn't that severe. Hysterical aphonia was not easily treated - sometimes it could never be cured. I closed the book and laid it on the cushions beside me as I said "Kev, did this start right after your suicide attempt? How long ago was that?"

[Kevala Badoer]

( ooc: So epix with the info. >.> I was still looking for the correct condition. )

She would listen to him, and then raise her brow as he grabbed up a book. She was unsure what he was doing or what it was he had spoken before. She supposed some form of condition. She had been diagnosed with plenty of those in the past. They all sounded funny and foreign.

He would then look back at her, his question asked. She would motion for her pad back, and then write down the reply. Once more unable to get the words out as she had so wanted to.

"Two weeks ago, roughly. And yes, have not spoken since. Only a couple words here and there."

Even those had been forced. She was struggling and it was killing her. Something had to give. She needed this problem fixed and as soon as possible.

With a light sigh she would look over the words and then hand the notepad back to Farren. Biting down on her lower lip as she folded her hands in her lap once more. Fidgeting with the pen she held.

She would have to wait now for his reply. Unsure what he was thinking was wrong with her, but judging from his reaction and the way he read and reread that page, she guessed it was not good.

Figures it would be something bad! Always the bad shit happening to her! Never any fucking good!