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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 10, 2010 13:46:29 GMT -8
Kevala was wandering through the house, as usual.....because she honestly had nothing better to do at the moment. Not to mention she was thirsty. So she made her way out of her room, dressed in just a pair of tiny shorts and a extra large t-shirt...which yeah...just made her cute as hell.
Her long hair falling down about her form as bare feet padded against the floor.
She was numb inside, nothing to be felt but a few flickers of what emotions remained. But it was not much. It had not been much for some time now.
She had known it would happen, but it was still strange. To feel other peoples emotions, and none of her own. Probably why she did not leave the house much these days. She needed to get used to the numbness before she went around others. Fearing that their emotions would influence her to feel once more.
This was the best place to be quite honestly. Nice, emotionless, and calm........
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Jan 10, 2010 13:59:21 GMT -8
Gabriel had been on a none stop training session the last two days, very limited sleep, very close to exhaustion his weighted performance being pushed to its limit within his own personal gravity chamber. Something he had only recently been able to keep up with but he certainly felt the improvements.
"You should rest..."
Gabriel kept punching aimlessly at the air feeling the breast flows of his batterings.
"I don't need to.."
Gabriel replied back tired but determined. Until of course the sudden taste of emotiveness struck his senses. Damn, he'd been here too long. Not due to his own exasperation but rather that of another, someone he was definitely indebted to.
Coming up the spiral stairs Gabriel quickly showered and emerged with a dry towel over his head and some loose fitting jeans on. He felt like he could simply collapse there but there was of course more to be done here.
"Good morning." Gabriel offered up a generous smile to the one he'd owed a lifetime to.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 10, 2010 14:06:36 GMT -8
Eyes shifted to the sound of that familiar tone. Seeing him standing there, she waited, expecting that same race of her heart, the same, flurry of emotions that always struck her, but instead, she felt nothing. Hmm.....good.
"Morning."
A cold, calm tone as she turned back to what she was doing. Normally she would have done anything to speak to him, to be near him, but there was no point in it. Now, she was just.......there......which was more than enough. She would still give all she had for him, that was never a question in her mind, it was just that she would not give him the affection and annoyance she always had before. Win win in her book....for both of them.
"You look tired. You should rest."
Not bothering to look back at him as she said this, instead tippy toeing to try and reach the shelf where the crackers were stored. Gah! Damn tall people!
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Jan 10, 2010 14:12:50 GMT -8
Gabriel chuckled a little bit fairly amused by all things. He knew very well that she was right but pride restrained his notion to mention forth what was notably the more respectful comment.
"Perhaps you're right.." Gabriel mumbled approaching the cupboard by passing her briefly to provide a minimum amount of contact as he reached out the crackers handing them to her.
"But theres something I need." The rise in accentuation to his words began as though this was some huge deal that was to be escalated further. Aforementioned plan perhaps.
"Theres no one else I'd trust to ask of course..." He'd say very freely towards her gartering her attention hopefully and that much more her respect and perhaps a love of a different kind she'd been accustomed to.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 10, 2010 14:18:38 GMT -8
She backed away the instant she felt him touch her, still not trusting herself in that respect. As he offered up the crackers she would reach out, taking them and then turning to head to the refrigerator.
Listening still as he spoke and then nodding softly with a glance cast back toward him, however brief it might have been.
"Very well. What do you need?"
It was in that same tone, the one she had held for a few weeks now. Ever since she had gotten out of the hospital. She did appreciate the fact that he trusted her, and she trusted him more than anyone else. Another fact that had never been disputed in her mind.
Turning back now she pulled open the door to the fridge and bent down slightly searching for the cheese. Yes cheese and crackers. Nummy!
But when you were little chick who ate like a full grown man, their was not much that was not yummy. Heh
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Jan 10, 2010 14:38:49 GMT -8
Gabriel cocked a brow noting her slinking away, yes he'd been attentive and noticed that above all of course at first he'd thought it for the best but that was of course doing what he had been standing against since his induction to these ploys. Robbing Kevala of who she truly was using her or her worth but ridding her of personality and that was above all things cruel, heartless and becoming a victimizer. Gabriel could be more than that.
"I want you to be yourself... nothing more, forget what I've said in the past of any misconceptions because anything like this, this cold exterior and broken heart is not Kevala it is a shell of the person who you once were."
Gabriel said in a very serious tone, not angry simply pleading. Pleading for her to take him for what he was and for her to remember what it once was to remember how to feel.
"Do you remember when we first met? The night we discussed the turn of events and what we each stood for. Well I cannot stand for you to let go of your emotive heart regardless of the pain, because it is that very pain that builds us into what we are. And you are beautiful, in more ways than you can imagine."
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 10, 2010 14:50:09 GMT -8
She continued her search for the cheese, all the while listening to him as he spoke. She stopped, her eyes closing as she stood straight once more, closing the fridge door and placing one hand against it.
"Gabriel please...."
She did not know how to continue, she felt a stir in her at the tone of his voice, wanting more than anything to give him what he wished for. But then what? What happened when she opened up to only be pushed away and reminded how horrible she really was?
He continued, bringing up things she remembered all too well, and that he knew she would never forget.
"Why? Why do you wish this? What good will come of it?"
She finally turned around, eyes looking toward him as she drew in a calming and steady breath. She honestly did not know what to do, she tried to use what little emotions she had left to guide her into making the right choice, but there was nothing..........
"If this is about my being loyal to you. There is no need. I will always be here. No matter my emotive state. So do not worry."
With that she would turn and head to the counter, drawing out a knife and setting the cheese and crackers down onto the counter. Now, to find a plate.
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Jan 10, 2010 15:00:41 GMT -8
A bit of temperance rising up in his face as she openly defied him to that extent stating what good was it? That she had his best intentions in mind was not what was for the best, Gabriel could manage of his own but he couldn't live with himself if he shattered another's world who above all things hadn't deserved it.
"Don't you dare tell me what is good." Gabriel preached defiantly his cheeks red with anger.
"I have no fear nor need of your loyalty, that is something that can be earned in time and not something blindly given without payment in blood. What I want of you is for your heart to beat as it once had, for your passion to guide you to whatever ends it so chooses even if that means hurting at times. Not because it is harmful or endangering to me but because it is who you are, somehow in my actions I've destroyed that and missed out on realizing that you are a person not some tool to be abused."
Gabriel approached closer gasping her pressing the small girl towards his chest where his heart could be heard. Assuming of course she'd let him do so.
"It's because I love you, not as many others could say, because this love surpasses what they can imagine, you are not some physical presence but something more. And I wont be leaving you for that, where we cannot touch at times we will always share a mental link, a link to the hearts."
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 10, 2010 15:23:47 GMT -8
She felt the anger rise up, a feeling she hated more than anything else to feel coming from him. Especially when it was directed at her...or at least she thought it was. Her small hand gripping the knife she held tightly, her knuckles whitening as she lowered her head and slammed her eyes shut....
No, no no no.......the pain slowly spreading......the need to make him happy..to ease whatever anger and pain he may have felt as a result of her......
Her focus set on shutting him out, no show of emotion, nothing could be given.....
The heat of his touch was suddenly felt, her form pulled against his to hear the sound of his heart.....She froze. The scent of his body filling the air between them, causing her to draw in a deep and almost soothing breath....
Please let him stop......she could not do this...she.....
His words filled her ears, and the knife fell from her hand. Fear gripped her flooding through every bit of her being and seeming to freeze her heart in place.
Tears filled her eyes as she spun around in his grip, her small hands finding place in the space between them and pushing at his chest, forcing herself back into the counter.
"Dont you dare say those words to me.....Please...anything but that....."
She turned her head away then, looking down at the floor and allowing her hair to conceal her features. 'I love you' ...The three words that almost guaranteed that the person who spoke them to her would leave.....
"I will not lose you..."
Barely more than a whisper of her breath upon the air. But what she felt would surely happen now...She had always known there was something there between them, something no other could ever destroy....
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Jan 10, 2010 15:30:07 GMT -8
Gabriel felt the tense fear in her rise up as though nothing else mattered, yet regardless those were powerful words and he'd taken note of her past track record enduring such. Though this was not the same love those past others had felt, their love was one of fear, cowardice, and fleeting guilt. Gabriel's was ever long, stepping into the flame of doubt and not looking back determined more than anything for those of the past to challenge him to face desire, pain, and indefinite destruction to himself but to do so without fear. It meant the world.
Gabriel parted only for a second to tilt her face up to look him in the eye, revealing his original color hues, those emerald orbs. "I'm not leaving this place any time soon."
Shortly after tugging her close not letting her free, for the road worked both ways, if she was to leave it'd be the same emotive feeling. And Gabriel had made a pact for life. A pact that'd break her own curse and defy the triggers of what she had "known."
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 10, 2010 15:42:26 GMT -8
She felt his hand upon her face, eyes turned to face him as she looked into those emerald eyes...Her own blue ones swimming with tears that refused to fall. Until he spoke....promises of not leaving her anytime soon......It was then the warm feeling of her tears could be felt slowly rolling down her cheeks.
Before she could say anything she was pulled to him once more. This time no amount of resistance she put up would allow her freedom from his embrace and with each second that ticked by she felt herself giving in more and more to him.
Finally, unable to withstand it any longer, his own emotions overpowering her as well as her own, small hands coming up to his sides, gripping lightly as she buried her face against his chest.
"I love you Gabriel....I only wish to do what I can...for you....."
She spoke softly, her breath falling over him as she trembled lightly.
Yes, she had shut herself down in an attempt to give him that what he desired....to be strong and to stop with her stupid wants and desires...those things which made her weak........
"I do not wish to ..... to drive you away....simply..because I ....love you so much....."
Each word cried out softly against him as she struggled to keep herself from breaking down completely.
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Jan 10, 2010 17:03:01 GMT -8
Gabriel pat her head compressing her tears away and into him where the beat of his heart kept pace rhythmically like a clock. But what she said wasn't exactly what he wanted at all, what he wanted was for her to be happy but to bring himself down to that level was not of his nature, he couldn't accomplish such feats.
"Shh... dry your tears, save them for another day." Gabriel said still holding her close, "I want you to take what you want, that will make me happy to what ever end."
He nodded simply curiously smiling hoping that she wouldn't linger long in this position it wasn't like him to feel vulnerable and while things had worked out to a beneficial end he'd leave it be at that end rather than risk a second blow.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 10, 2010 17:12:42 GMT -8
She did not pull away, even though she knew deep down that she should have. She was not allowed moments like this. She was not supposed to feel even the slightest bit of happiness starting to spread in her heart.
Turning her head slightly she rested it against his chest as her tears slowly started to ebb. Her voice soft, once more a gentle whisper of words she could not bring herself to speak out louder than what she did.
"I can never have what I want....."
He knew that, or at least he should have. Something would always be there, keeping her from being enough for him, keeping her from ever being able to have him........For that reason, she would never be able to take that which she so truly desired.
Her small fingers lightly brushing at his side, an idle yet calming action she put no real thought behind. She just did it.
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Post by Gabriel Seran on Jan 10, 2010 17:17:58 GMT -8
Gabriel nodded knowing well enough what she meant, so long as he could be there to help at times like this that would make it up to his inadequacies right? Or perhaps he was simply causing more harm than good and deluding himself of what could potentially save her.
"Alright... " Gabriel said finally letting go.
He created a brief distance enough to tell her subconsciously that this moment was over though never truly at its end and that he wasn't leaving. He'd remain here as long as he could to give her a reasoning of security.
"I'm going to continue my training, this was a good break." He gave her a manageable smile before teetering off down the stairs again disappearing from sight but not from mind.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 10, 2010 17:33:12 GMT -8
Kevala would pull herself together as he pulled away. She knew all too well how this went and would simply nod to the fact, reaching up with her hand and brushing away any remaining tears.
But then he turned and headed off to go train some more.
A little sigh passing her lips as she headed off after him.
"Gabriel! You need to rest. You have been at it for days."
She was worried about him, and given the sudden break in her icy front she had put up, she could not help but express that toward him. He was working too hard for this, he needed to rest and she would be damned if she let him hurt himself just for the sake of growing stronger. Even if she did see the reasoning behind it.
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