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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 16, 2010 21:45:07 GMT -8
She nodded, allowing her eyes to close as she felt his kiss upon her forehead. The scent of him filling her senses as he drew closer to her once more. Honestly she could get lost in this man..he had always had that affect on her....Even if her actions the last time she saw him had spoken differently.
But no. She could not allow herself to see this as more than just a casual date. Nothing more and nothing less. She always had to remember that.
How long are you going to wait to tell him? Or are you just gonna let it slide and keep holding off until you have no other choice? Seems like what you are trying to do right now does it not?
Just take your time. I am sure that eventually it will seem right to bring up such a heavy topic. After all, if you go into much more detail about all the shit you have been through things will get heavy enough.
Just shut up...both of you...please...
She would then turn her full attention back to him. Keeping all the things that had happened to her and all the thoughts in her mind to herself.
"How could I not come see you?"
She spoke out softly as she pulled back to once more look up at him, her small hand coming up and brushing delicate fingers gently against his jaw.
"You will always be important in my life. Even if you do not see it."
She spoke with nothing but pure honesty. He was the first guy she had slept with when she came here, the first one who had made her feel like more than some freak, and he was the first person to be her friend.
She would always cherish him........Especially if......
She stopped the thought right there, not about to let it cloud her mind any more...Yet she found herself searching his features...eyes looking for similarities, little dead give aways.....
Luckily though, she caught herself and turned her eyes away once more...another nervous brush of her tongue over her lower lip.
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Post by Victor "Break" D'Armond on Jan 16, 2010 22:02:21 GMT -8
Victor couldn't help but smile as she asked him a simple question of the matter of coming to see him after school. of course in Victor's mind it was quite easy to imagine
you just use your legs... and walk some other direction
of course Victor would not ruin the moment by saying something witty like that, but rather he would listen as she told him that he would always be important in her life. part of him believed that she was indeed intertwined to his life in some way or another, though he couldn't quite place why... except that every time he was with her, everything just seemed to flow...
"I'll just have to trust you on that one" Victor said, as he would lean forward to hug her again.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 16, 2010 22:27:58 GMT -8
She drew in a deep breath and would tug him over toward the teachers' desk and pushing just lightly enough against his chest to get him to sit back upon it.
She would then slowly shift her body between his legs, her small form coming in contact with him as she rested her hands softly upon each side of his chest.
"Victor. Before we go on this date. I feel there are a few things that we should discuss. But I want to make sure that you are willing to hear them right now."
Her lilac shampoo filling the air about them and between them as she was close enough to him now that her heated breath could be felt ever so slightly against his flesh just above the collar of his shirt.
Those delicate finger playing over his chest in an idle yet seemingly soothing manner....soother to her at least. She would wait for his reply before she continued any further........she did not want a date that they could possibly have an amazing time on be ruined by anything......
At least this way, he would know all that she could tell him at this point and he could back out graciously from their date. Fully expecting that to be the out come.
Her body shifting just a bt, her tiny form brushing against his own as she cast a soft and gentle glance toward him. One that only on other man had seen at one time, and who had led to the scars that lined her wrists...signs of how much hurt she had endured since his time of absense......
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Post by Victor "Break" D'Armond on Jan 16, 2010 22:56:08 GMT -8
as she drew a breath Victor felt a little tug, turning Victor let himself be pulled to the desk, the light push from her hand, his back against the desk he figured what she wanted and he sat upon it easily, opening his legs as her hands found his chest and wrapping his arms around the small of the tiny girl's back, finding the bottom of her shirt and lifting it slightly so he could trace his fingers up and down the girls spine as she spoke to him. Victor nodded as he felt her soft breathe upon his neck.
"Say what you need to say then" Victor said, his baritone soft and caring his eyes filled with understanding, she was worried, nervous, Victor could tell the whole time they had been talking... though he hadn't known why he supposed he was about to find out
in the back of his mind Victor's thoughts began to stir... what could be bothering her... was she already with someone? had she slept with one of his bros? or was she about to tell him that she'd like help with the kids maybe? Victor began to brace himself for anything, those his eyes remained open and steady, ready for anything... or almost anything anyway
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 16, 2010 23:14:16 GMT -8
She noted the look in his eyes and would raise her small hand from his chest to gently brush her fingers over his cheek...A warm and affectionate smile held firmly in place as she held is gaze a moment longer.
But she knew what she had to say and honestly it was for the best. The deeper secrets she would keep to herself, but for now, she would simply keep it to the list of wrongs that had fallen her way.
"I think you should know that I have changed...greatly since the last time we were together as lovers...as friends...."
She paused, the hand on his chest now gripping lightly as a bit of worry and nervousness consumed her.
"I found out, that Katsu had left me....and is out of the country....he feels that when he should return I am his property."
That was the first step.....
"But I am not. I hold no ties to that man...and have gone so far as to have Gabriel burn down the home that held me to him. Now, nothing is left to link the two of us."
But what about the twins? Heh.....good question...
She paused, tears filling her eyes as she fought back the mention of the twins...Shame filling her instantly at the thought, but again it was something she had to get past.
"I did however fall in love with another man, but he has made it very clear that he shall never want me. I am not good enough I suppose...no amount of devotion or love will ever win his heart."
Another long pause the grip on his shirt growing tighter as she fought back more tears....Reliving every moment of this was so paiful, but she continued.
"I have been kidnapped....tortured, and nearly killed several times..."
With that she took a step back, shame no fully show in her features as she gripped the waist of her jeans and pull down free of her right hip, revealing the brand there..
"The last marked me eternally as his own....."
The tears fell freely now as she trembled softly, her hand releasing his chest now as she wrapped her tiny arms about herself....
"I have been beaten, stabbed, tortured, both legs broken to the point that they sill cause me constant pain......"
But this time she would turn her eyes up to his, tears rolling down her face as she struggled to get the words out she was so desperately needing to say........
"That night...of the meeting.......You should know....my heart wished to be on your side....more than anything...but I fear for the life of my children.......I had made a pact...and was forced to stand by it........I hope that one day you will forgive me..for I loved you dearly as I do now......I could never have done such a thing to you if not for the fear of ou.....my children.....and their well being."
She turned away instantly recognizing her little slip and yet blowing it off as nothing. A gentle shake of her body as she struggled to keep the tears in. NOBODY had seen that brand on her hip...it shamed her so badly so that she had not been with a man since that day........
Now to see if he still wanted to go through with their date....Her heart fully expecting a no in response to this new information.
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Post by Victor "Break" D'Armond on Jan 16, 2010 23:34:56 GMT -8
Victor looked into her eyes as she reached up and touched his face, he closed his eyes for the moment and took in the feel of it, and as her hand left his face it felt slightly cold where it had once been, as if wishing for the hand to come back and warm it again. Victor opened his eyes to see hers, a now stern look on his face, he nodded for her to continue after she said she had changed.
first she talked of katsuri, that giant who was... bothersome to say the least. it was very hard for someone to actually annoy Victor, but that man had accomplished that task, quite well. Still Victor was not concerned by this, as he was now he knew he could fight katsuri and still have a very even chance, even without his qi, and that of course was even if he should need to fight katsuri
next came 'the man after' who was not named for any given reason... though Victor had a sneaking suspicion he knew who it was... the only other guy on campus with as much attraction to people as himself... not exactly hard to pinpoint, and it still didn't bother Victor... the simple fact was he was a good adversary, and Victor had nothing but respect for the things he had accomplished for himself, even when they where ill gotten, and even when he failed. besides, this would all tie in quite well in the end... Victor knew he could treat this girl right, where someone may have failed, he would succeed.
she then began to explain how she had been victimized, in several different ways, finishing her display by showing him a brand... it looked severe, and Victor wondered if she would consider getting a laser scar treatment... it was amazing what modern medicine could fix these days. maybe if things worked out between them he would bring it up... but not now, now was a time for listening, not talking.
he listened as she broke into tears, telling him about the meeting, how she wished it was different, how she feared for...
funny, Victor thought... I could have sworn she almost said our...
her children
she turned from him, but Victor would not let her get away, he wrapped his arms protectively around her, pulling her into his chest, loosely so she could turn and be more comfortable. "Kevala... the meeting was of no consequence, in honesty I didn't even take the damn thing very seriously, do you see the white knights around anywhere? they clearly disbanded because I had lack of interest, and yes you chose him over me, but he is a great leader, I cannot blame you for that, had I been in your shoes it would have been an incredibly difficult decision for me as well" Victor explained softly then he smiled
"so by the sounds of things, I'm really gonna have to watch out for you friday won't I?" Victor said with a light chuckle
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 16, 2010 23:56:49 GMT -8
For the briefest of moment she tried to pull away from his embace but it was apparent that it was one she really did not wish to be free of. Instead she would turn herself about in his arms and grip the sides of his shirt, pulling her head to his chest and sighing softly as tears continued to fall.
"All of them. they said they would care for me....HE promised to keep me and the children safe........Promised to forever protect my heart...and in my weakest moment, he turned and he abandoned me..
Her wrist flashing upright to show him the faded scars upon each of her wrists....Yes she had tried to kill herself, because when she had hit rock bottom, and when the one man who swore to protect her had left her......she had lost hope.
She had no friends to call, to help her...it was torture and she had just wanted to die.....
"Now, I am too scared to open up to another as I did him. Too scared to be told I love you but you are just not good enough.
She turned to him with pleading eyes filled with tears as she trembled softly.
"I am so tired of being a lone and scared. I dont sleep but perhaps an hour a night....I run when I know it is making my lets worse....I push myself til I pass out in the front yard....and every night I sleep on the couch....alone...too scared to even get near the bed....to feel the mass emptiness of it all."
She drew in a deep breath and would try and settle down some....
"I have no more ties to his family aside from a name. That is it. The twins will no longer be his concern I am hoping....though I fear it at the same time."
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Post by Victor "Break" D'Armond on Jan 17, 2010 0:10:53 GMT -8
his eyes flashed as he saw her wrists, a nasty habit cutting is, and he knew many people who partook in it, Victor listened now she was all up in arms, her pain her suffering, she shared it with him now. she turned into him, cried on him, Victor simply listened, a wall of strength and comfort "In honesty" Victor began, a calm aura to him as he raised his right hand, running it through her hair. "I am not asking you out because I have sympathy for you, I am not concerned with the past, only the present, what is being written now is most important, because what has been written can be forgotten in the river of time" Victor spoke entirely in analogies, as he always did when he got serious, which of course was so rare that this was probably the first time anyone had ever heard it.
"Though you are giving me an inspiration, to create a new world for you, without your pain, where you do not feel that these self inflicted rituals are necessary, where you may sleep in a bed, where you may relax and enjoy every day" Victor explained, then held her closer "I am but a man, and I will do what I can" Victor said in a hushed tone, closing his eyes calmly "Would you like to come home with me tonight? so you don't have to be alone?" Victor asked, it was hard to think of a place to begin healing, so he just said the first thing that was on his mind "You do not have to open up to me, if you don't want, just enjoy the company, enjoy existing within someones company" Victor explained elegantly, ending with a smile of assurance and strength
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 17, 2010 0:37:30 GMT -8
It was the first time since he had left that she had hear words that were so calming and soothing. Sure Gabriel had a time or two, but in the end, he had always pushed her away form bringing him down to that level. He loved her...but the kind of love he had for her was not enough to see her for what she really was.
Nodding softly, she burried her face against his chest. A soft sob given out as she struggled to finish the rest of her tormented past that made her who she was today.....But the words seemed frozen inside.
Only one, simply little plea would escape her now. One she knew was asking far to much from a man who held no real emotional attachments and such, but one of the only ones she could really feel......safe around....aside from Gabriel, but his instability made even that form of trust hard.
"Dont....leave me....tonight....."
She cured her tiny form against his, just held to him tightly. Honestly she had needed somebody to talk to for so long who did not look at using her sensitive state to try and fuck up her thing with Gabe or to try and get laid thinking she was just that easy.
Sometime or another the damn had to burst.......sadly it was now, and sadly she still had much much more inside her that needed to get free but not now, not here....she could not allow him to see what it was in her mind that was driving her totally mad at this point...Perhaps later.....
"Please....Victor..."
The only words her mind could come up with at this moment.
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Post by Victor "Break" D'Armond on Jan 17, 2010 0:50:16 GMT -8
Victor only held her tighter, the tiny frame pushed against him, he was careful with her, he wanted her to know he was there for her though. of course, he was no longer just an actor at this point, emotional detachment had its strengths, but for now he let himself feel, he meant this girl no harm, and he wasn't going to push anything on her, or away from her, she just needed someone stable, and Victor was very good at that.
"I won't" Victor said, he could have been poetic, he could have been a wordsmith and made up something entirely beautiful
and entirely unnecessary
those two words where enough and he knew it, no reason to stretch or skew it. though he did think of one thing that would be safe to add
"I promise"
Victor rarely made promises, but when he did he always followed them through, kevala was safe tonight, no matter what now, even if only tonight. though Victor knew better, it wouldn't only be tonight. in his blue eyes a whole world could be seen, a world where there was no more hurt
one small step at a time
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 17, 2010 19:40:51 GMT -8
Kevala finally pulled back from Victor. Her small hand coming up and wiping her eyes as she tried to calm herself down...She honestly did not know what to say...other than...
"Thank you."
A softly, all be it, weak smile given as again her hands stuffed into her pocket.
A soft bite given to her lower lip as she diverted her eyes away from him, though remaining settled between his legs. A few loose strands of her hair falling into her face as she tried to think of something. Anything to say.
Maybe she was coming off as too pathetic? It always seemed to be the case with Gabriel.
Worries, doubts, uncertainty. These are the things that filled her mind as she released that lip from her bite, brushing her tongue over it slowly.
"A..Are you sure it is okay?"
A glance cast up toward him out of the corner of her eye.
"If not it is okay..I mean..I can sleep on your couch to if you want...I mean..."
She shut up, finding herself rambling. Something she did not do very often these days. Gods! Her nerves were at their end right now. She had known better than to agree to a date with him but now she was making plans to sleep at his house....
But it was just sleep right?
( OOC: Up to you if you wish to just continue this thread or make one a this house...whatever is fine with me!! )
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Post by Victor "Break" D'Armond on Jan 17, 2010 19:53:55 GMT -8
(OCC: lets go ahead and if you want just make another at his house, I actually wouldn't mind skipping to friday even, Victor actually did mean sleep over as just 'sleep', unless she made a first move of somekind when they got there. we can just say she slept over and move on from there, or go into the detail of it, pm me about it, this'll be my last post for this thread though)
Victor smiled letting her return to herself, watching her stuff her hands back into her pockets, so much had changed, but so much had stayed the same. Victor just sighed. "Yes, I'm sure its fine, don't worry... you sleep wherever you feel comfortable, if you want to sleep on the couch cool... but honestly, I'd kind of like it if you slept with me" Victor said, an honest smile on his lips, the choice was hers, he walked over to the door, opening it and motioning for her, ladies first. "Shall we?" Victor asked, his blue eyes shining in a different way than they had ever shined before.
*End for Victor*
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Jan 17, 2010 20:27:07 GMT -8
Kevala would smile once he had said he was sure. Sleeping with him though was something she would definately have to think about. Though every part of her body screamed for her to do so, that one part of her mind that held her doubt and suspicion was begging her to at least sleep on the couch.
They would just have to see where things went. She knew that she could not sleep with him.....too ashamed of the secret she kept and unable to do that to him. She felt like he would have to know before they could ever sleep together....not wishing to freak him out or make him feel used in anyway....That would destroy her.
"Okay..lets go."
With that she would smile and reach out, letting her small hand curl about his as she tucked her hair behind her ear and nodded.Waiting for him to lead the way.
[/thread participation kev ]
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