Chewing On The End Of A Pencil (Calamity)

[Winters]

A Walk

"I'm not one for caffeine, or ice cream..I'm sorry."

He could only shrug. Either she really didn't like the options, or she was still sour about the tripping. Which means that his own plan backfired on him, and made her dislike him further. ..Really had to stop beating up on himself. Just a misunderstanding. Looked like he could get back to his lunch at any rate. And besides, he wasn't carrying too much money with him. ..His reserves had been drying up. He needed to get a job around here soon. Right hand went up, ready to wave her off, but then, she turned her head around. An eyebrow raised.

"But maybe you'd like to walk with me? I'm on my way home."

"..Ja... s-sure.." was all he could say, shrugging.

"Come on, its not far."

He turned to his lunch. ...The janitors could take care of a single thing, right? Walking quickly, he hoisted up his backpack onto his right shoulder, and stepped up beside her, his own blue-green eyes, looking, uncertainly into the distance.

"..L-Let's g-go th-then."

...This was the first time anyone had ever asked him something like this.

His first good memory at PHS 259.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

[Jenna Scorn]

He had accepted, converse shifted upon the sidewalk now as the two of them made their way down the sidewalk and as she came to a halt she'd glance at him. Now letting her eyes fall back to the street a head of her, watching a car go on by before looking both ways and crossing.

"It isn't far from here."

Jogging quickly across the road and flashing a quick grin to him before looking down the road. The chain of her belt slightly jingled as she walked, now looking at him.

"You lived here long?"

[Winters]

Ze Questions

They walked on a bit, down the sidewalk, 'til they hit a certain part, and she stopped. He did a double-take, stepping lightly back into place, eyes on her, ready for the next move. Calamity gave him a quick look, watching as a car passed them by, on the road. Jonathan himself took the time to look around.. Seemed like the only one for a bit.

"It isn't far from here."

Not far at all.

Following her lead, his backpack jostled uncomfortably at his right shoulder, but it was alright. Just a minor inconvenience, as they jogged across the road. She seemed to guess pretty accurately when he was looking at her, because she gave him a really quick grin, they went on.

"You lived here long?"

"...Ja. M-Maybe.. s-seven y-years n-now..?" he said, thinking out loud to himself. Strange, this felt rather easy-going. "..I-It's a-a n-nice p-place. I-I j-just w-wish i-it sn-snowed m-more." Absentmindedly, he became silent for a bit, before his thoughts returned, and he looked at Calamity again. "...H-How a-about y-you? F-From J-Japan t-to A-America, I-I m-mean.. b-been h-here a-a g-good wh-while, I-I t-take i-it?"

Her house wasn't far from here, she said. But.. he wished that it could be just a little farther.

..He hadn't had this much fun since.. well..

Never.

[Jenna Scorn]

"b-been h-here a-a g-good wh-while, I-I t-take i-it?"

She failed to answer right away, she was afraid if she told him the truth...he might tell someone. And that could possibly lead up to a teacher finding out. She didn't want her mom to get in trouble.

she bit her lower lip, feeling the gentle sting of her teeth upon the soft flesh of her lip. Stirring a moment, stewing on the thought before letting her lips part, soon her voice fallowing.

"I've lived here a while. I just skip alot..."

Letting the rubber of her shoes scuff against the pavement as the two of them made their way down the sidewalk. Letting her hands dig deep into the depths of her pockets.

"It's so different here, and I miss Japan."

[Winters]

Learning When

"I've lived here a while. I just skip alot..."

The words were slowly chosen. For some reason, many of Jonathan's words seemed to hitting on 'forbidden grounds' in conversation with her. To himself, it was sort of annoying. Accepted the fact, yes, accepted the fact that he'd suck the first few times, but even in himself, it was vaguely frustrating. Should I just shut up for the time being? No... that would make both sides uncomfortable. Calamity's kind, but there are just too many things I don't know about her yet. We only just met, anyways. Jonathan's face kept looking forward, as they continued on and on..

"I..I-I.. s-see."

..That aura beside him spoke deeply of discomfort, but Jonathan would only notice this later on. Discomfort. Terrible memories... aye.

Why not? It's not like he mattered if anyone knew. Just some old sentimentality..

His arm clenched at the backpack, keeping it tight to him, as he went with Calamity on her right, so as not to have the backpack bump into her. That strange, distant look in her eyes.

"..'A-About y-your e-e-e-earlier q-q-question, th-though.."

For some reason, his body felt hotter, just thinking about it. Discomfort and embaressment. But it was just an old story of no consequence. After all, he was just a person of no consequence. Ja?

"...M-My Mutter d-died wh-while g-giving b-birth t-t-t-t-t-t-t-"

..Couldn't shake it. He accidentally bit his tongue, and almost winced. His eyes showed it.

"..t-t-to m-me. F-Father w-wasn't t-to h-happy 'b-b-bout th-th-th-th-th-th-th.. Gah."

Shaking his head, his whole face was actually red, for once, on his own accord. This was just a stupid story! Trying to make conversation! SAY IT.

SAY IT YOU FUCKING STUTTER.

"..Th-That. F-Father a-a-abused m-me s-some, b-but I-I j-just s-sorta t-took i-it. Q-Q-Q-Q-Quiet ch-ch-child wh-when I-I w-w-was y-younger.. f-f-f-felt a-a-as i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-"

Not again. FINISH.. it.

"..I-If e-everything w-was m-my f-f-fault. G-Guess i-i-it w-was. 'C-Cause o-o-o-one d-day... F-Father c-c-came h-home d-d-drunk, scr-scr-screaming.. cry-cry-crying... a-a-a-and t-tried t-t-t-t-t-t-to k-kill m-me w-with a-a h-hammer."

There. Done. DONE.

"...I-I j-just a-a-accept th-the f-fact th-that h-he m-made m-m-m-m-me a-a s-stutter. I-I h-had i-it c-coming, ja? H-He d-d-doesn't b-belong i-in j-jail.. I-I d-do, b-but th-that's j-just s-s-s-sentimentality t-talking, I-I g-g-g-g-g-guess."

A lot.. too many emotions then he would normally allow. Uncharacteristically, he forced a deep, hollow laugh for a few seconds, so his eyes could close up. Because no tears were falling. But his eyes were crying.

"...I-It's p-pretty s-stupid s-story.." was the soft response, forgetting some grammatical English word usage. "...I-It's j-just b-b-been s-s-something o-on m-my m-mind, s-since I-I s-started t-t-talking t-t-to y-you. Y-You g-g-gave m-me th-this.. 'v-v-v-v-vibe'. G-Guess I-I j-just n-n-n-n-n-needed t-to v-vent. S-Sorry f-for th-the s-sappy st-story.."

His face looked away. Because, right now... though his voice remained steady.. he was really afraid that he would cry.

Such an embarrassment.

People have larger problems then him. His was of no consequence.

None at all.

Stupid for saying it.

Oh well. I'll just get over it..

Just like I've always done.

Being quiet.

...He let his mouth smile.. for once.

Being quiet.

[Jenna Scorn]

What?

she stopped, almost dead in her tracks. Her converse skidding softly against the sidewalk cement as she regained her balance. Blue eyes faltering ahead, blinking. Did she dare look at him?

No, stop...

It must have been hard for him to say, considering it was hard for her to even mention her father. But this, his situation was worse. At least she had known her father, and he....this poor boy thought it was his fault for his mother's death.

So many emotions swelled inside of her now, maybe a few he had felt before, or was feeling now. But she hadn't looked at him, not now anyways. Letting her pink tongue escape from her dry mouth, letting it line her lower nip...a nervous habbit. Her hands digging deeper into her pockets before she'd let those hesitant eyes fall onto the boy beside her.

He had opened up to her, but why? Why her? Her eyes slowly worked up his body, soon reaching his chest where they stopped. Her breath had almost quickened. She hoped to god he wasn't crying as her eyes moved to the features of his face. He wasn't crying, not yet anyways. If he cried, she didn't know what to do. She'd never had to deal with anyone else s's emotions before. Fuck, she'd never dealt with her own emotions before. She kept her's locked away, hidden, bottled up.

She'd been blamed for her father's murder, getting mixed up with the wrong sort of people at the wrong time. this boy, he and her were alike, sort of. Though he his 'sins' had been atoned differently then her's had.

Her hand reached out, but stopped in mid motion.

"It's all your fault we're in this mess!"

"Okasan?! Don't say that!!!"

Tears traced down hot, red cheeks as she reached out to her mother. Long strands of black hair hanging in her face as the young girl looked up at her mother who stood over her.

Jenna grabbed at her mother's shirt, tugging it closely as she buried her face deep into her mother as she cried. Her mother was cold tot he touch, and very stiff.

"...I didn't mean to..."


I...I didn't mean to...honestly....

Now, she'd touch him. Letting her fingers curl about his shoulder, tenderly as to grant him comfort. She comfort she had never had. A soft smile was forced upon her face, tilting her head to the side.


"Its not your fault."

[Winters]

Stories

Another societal taboo. Spilling a secret about yourself to a total stranger. While not unheard of, wasn't it something considered uncouth? ...But, the desire to be heard, even for just a moment, not for the sake of reaction, not for the sake of conversation... but just to be heard. Many reasons to talk to people you barely know about these things. You can range what sort of person they are. Range what sort of person you've become.

..No.

But, he'd made her uncomfortable. Calamity skidded to a halt, but, Jonathan wasn't really watching. Just felt even more guilty for having to burden someone else by having them listen to his own problems, when she probably had bigger problems of her own. Everyone had problems of their own. Everyone had their own stories to tell. Dammit, did he do this just to get some attention, to call for help!? Fucking retard, you show your pride again, your worst sin! Leave her, condemn yourself again to the quiet. She deserves better friends... hell, can I even consider myself a friend of hers..?

Dammit.

The silence that grew between them was like a monster of air. Devouring the normal noises, making for an awkward silence. His emotions were simmering down now, getting better control of himself. Pangs of regret and guilt were there now. Didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. Just wanted to strike up a conversation. God, I suck.

Jonathan kept his eyes purposely diverted, no longer for the fear of crying, but because of this... strange quiet. Calamity rustled beside him. Sound of jeans. Truthfully, if it wasn't for his backpack, his right hand would be pocketed as well.

..What was that..?

..Felt a sensation, but one of something that wasn't quite there...

Warmth made contact on his shoulder.

Flinch.

Why was she touching him?

Couldn't help it.. his head turned to face her.. to see her tilt her head to the side, like she always did. That soft smile.. no. It wasn't the smile that got him. Those blue eyes. Those blue eyes that spoke of her own pains, of her own stories.. understanding?

"Its not your fault."

Jonathan's throat felt.. painful. Never had he felt so terrible for saying something. Something so stupid. Something that someone of ordinary common sense wouldn't say, and depress a newly made friend.

"...P-Please d-don't p-pity m-me..."

..Her hand was warm. His head faced away.

"...Y-You h-have y-your o-own s-stories. I-Isn't r-right f-f-for m-me t-to b-burden s-someone w-with th-their o-own p-problems w-with m-my p-problems.."

Even so.

His right hand crept from the back pack, letting it sing onto his shoulder. It clasped over her hand, speaking differently from what he said, no matter how ashamed he was to do it. This was unbecoming of him. The grip squeezed over her hand increased, but only softly.

"...Y-You h-have y-your o-own p-pains, a-after a-all.. d-don't y-you? Y-Your o-own s-story?"

Wasn't right. Looked over again. Just wasn't right for someone with those.. blue eyes to look so equally sad.

He'd love to hear her tale. Why those blue eyes looked so sad. His story was pathetic... but something he never forgave himself for. Wanted to do something for someone else, not have them worry about him. ...Did she have a burden?

...

Wanted to say.. 'What's your story?'. Seemed right. But, she'd look uncomfortable, when he said something in bordering to get to know her. Was afraid to offend her, to make her more uncomfortable. Oh well.. might as well say it in a more vague way. Hopefully she wouldn't take it too badly.. hoped, hoped, hoped.

.."...S-Someday, i-if y-you'd l-let m-me.. I-I'd l-like t-to h-hear y-yours.."

..Something he would so much rather hear then himself talking, any day.

[Jenna Scorn]

"Y-Your o-own s-story?"

It wasn't a story, it wasn't even worth telling. Something she wasn't proud of, and she'd never be proud of. She had happiness, once upon a time. But getting mixed up with the wrong sort of people, the wrong sort of man, everything had gone down the shitter.

"..S-Someday, i-if y-you'd l-let m-me.. I-I'd l-like t-to h-hear y-yours.."

Heh.

She had been ready to shoot off some smart ass comment. She was letting him get too close, or was she? She had granted him kindness, but why? when his hand softly touched her's she'd look directly at him. Those blue eyes slightly widening, swallowing the saliva within her mouth as she readied herself to talk. She opened her mouth, but nothing would come out. So she'd look to the side, trying to regain her confidence.

He had touched her.

And she hadn't felt the touch of a man boy in a very long time.

Letting her eyes wander back to him, a soft smile spreading upon her lips yet again.

"Yes, maybe. One day?"

[Winters]

Eines Tages

There was no lie in the statement that Jonathan didn't know women too well. But for a moment, he stopped, as she looked at him, with those eyes. Those blue eyes. Like, some.. quasi-awkward, quasi-.. um. Uh. But she looked away. Yeah, he'd definitely made her feel uncomfortable.

Calamity looked back at him though. And there was a smile on her face.

"Yes, maybe. One day?"

...If he was to learn anything about women today.. it would be the power that a smile could do for just a moment, or an entire day. Strange thing. He closed his eyes, his head going up a bit, as if he was about to laugh, but of course, smiles scarcely accompanied his face, so it was as close to a nervous laugh as he got.

His hand fell away, and he looked forward, shrugging. A large smile.. in his eyes. There was absolutely nothing he could think of to say. He shrugged.. as if to say.. 'Sure. One day. Take your time.', but obviously, not all of the mental messages he was sending were going to make it to her. But then, he was a guy, and as for men, they generally did idiotic things make no sense anyways. Jonathan was no exception to this matter, obviously.

There was a pause.

You know, it just occured to me that I've never made a joke before. Nothing simplistic, just for a simple laugh, or exchange of expression. Would right now be a good time to try..?---

'Tilting' his head, as he looked at her, leaning in somewhat towards her in obvious imitation, with his left hand on his hip, his stony face finally solidified.. he asked simply, "...S-So.. h-how m-much f-further?"

[Jenna Scorn]

She watched his sudden movement with those blue eyes, as he leaned in to her. She was a bit shocked, but kept her cool as he spoke. His hand upon his hip, her eyes glancing down at that hand before returning to look into his own.

"...S-So.. h-how m-much f-further?"

He was close, dangerously close. She could attack him, maybe even possibly kill him. But believe it not that wasn't on Calamity's agenda, not today at least. He had tried to intimidated her? Maybe. But to be honest, it wasn't working. It had awoken something, and like a sleeping dragon awakening from its winter's slumber she'd lick her lower lip.

"No."

Leaning in, daring to close the little space between them.

"Not much further."

Softly pressing her lips against his.

[Winters]

"_________"

"No."

Huh? An eyebrow raised.

...

..What was she doing?

"Not much further."

When...

...

...

...

The lights went out in Jonathan's head.

He.. I.. what was.. happening.. um.. Uh? What's going...?

She was kissing him. There was no explanation why, but, she was kissing him.

Granted, he was about a foot taller then her, but at the angle he'd lowered himself down to, apparently it was perfect.

Her lips were soft.

Awkwardly at first, he, pressed his onto it.. 'Til he got a figure of what he was supposed to be doing, and.. started kissing back.

His cheeks, his whole face, his body was burning up. Eyes closing, in remembrance of what they did on TV. Didn't seem so bad, anymore.

God, he was.. terrible at this. Was he supposed to break the kiss? Or.. um..

You know, this really doesn't feel too bad. This feels, well, um.. pretty good, actually. Um..

...One more thing about women thing that he was going to learn about women today, was that he was never.. ever... going to understand them. Not complaining too much about that, though.

Strange thoughts entered his head.. wanted to hug her close to him. Hold her hands. Just feel a hold her---Wait a fucking minute here. Slow down.

After a slow moment.. taking his time... he went back from the kiss. Knew he was blushing. Knew that his whole face was probably red. Knew that he wasn't breathing right now. As if.. if he breathed out, all of this... all of this.. feeling would go away with it. His blue-green eyes, just staring at her. Staring, because, he's was beginning to realize something about her. Specifically what those those feelings he was feeling for her.

"..Uh.. u-um..."

..Not that he could say anything, at the moment.

[Jenna Scorn]

Was she taking advantage of him? Maybe, but she actually wasn't thinking about that right now. Believe it or not, Calamity was a very kind person...well...back in the day. Now, she felt his lips against her's, and was he...possibly trying to...enjoy it?

Maybe, but again she wasn't for sure.

Blue orbs hidden behind thin lids of flesh, fluttering open like surprised butterflies when the kiss was broken. She watched him, obviously very uncomfortable. She looked to the side, what she had done was uncalled for..and later on she might even be called a few names.

Slut.

Whore.

None of these names mattered, not right now, not ever. Calamity knew what she was, and it was neither of these. Though she had heard them all before from her mother, and now Calamity was looking away still. Letting her converse kick against the cement.

She could tell that she put him in a very uncomfortable position, and that was the last thing she had wanted. But wait, what did she want?

This boy before her, he wasn't her type!
Why had she?

we'll pretend it was hormones.

She didn't know, but she felt like running now.
Running away from him.
She was embarrassed, and very confused.

[Winters]

Regaining

When you're in shock, it's like being hit by a wall of cement that charged at you. You don't know what just happened, how the hell it happened, but all you know is that it did happen. For majority of Jonathan Winter's life even, he had managed to avoid massive changes that would force him to react in such a way, to slowly absorb information, piece by piece. Bit by bit. So much that by the time that he had a full chance to realize what had happened, both of them had been hurt, both of them were now confused, and both of them now found themselves in an extremely awkward position.

Where did it happen first? Right. When he first met her. Just a passing glance. She confronted him. The cogs in his mind began grinding. They fought. One of the grinds was stuck on a peanut shell. She got up... and smiled at him. Oil had been replied, and the machines began to work smoothly for once in a long time. They walked together, to her house. The machine was working at full operations, the mechanics almost done.

She kissed him.

The machine froze.

Rebooted.

And... now it made sense...

...Wait...

...He liked her..!?

Both of them were looking away. Had to do something. At this rate, she might feel as though he didn't appreciate the gesture. In truth, it took him a moment to realize it too, but...

His hand reached over to her shoulder. Gave it a light squeeze. Nothing asking, nothing lusting, just a simple 'hey-o'. Blue-green eyes, dead on her. Eyes smiling broadly, cheeks obviously still red, blushing, as he shook some of his white hair out of the way.

...There was a difference in his eye smile this time, though.

He was smiling too. A small one, but, it was there.

"...L-Let's g-get t-to y-your h-house f-first. W-We c-can t-talk l-later.. wh-when we-we're bo-both s-sorted o-out, i-if y-you w-want."

[Jenna Scorn]

His touch, a familiar sensation but not one she'd dare to give a second thought about. The results of stumbling over him, the effect he seemed to be taking upon her was dangerous.

"...L-Let's g-get t-to y-your h-house f-first. W-We c-can t-talk l-later.. wh-when we-we're bo-both s-sorted o-out, i-if y-you w-want."


Blue eyes looking to him, blinking once before giving a nod, a very small nod. And then, she'd turn and move away from him. Heading towards the direction of her house. Shoes scraping against the cement.

"Its just this way."

A small voice from those lips. Exiting from the sidewalk, into a small parking lot. Kicking at a leaf or two as she went on her way.

[Winters]

OOC: HW.. sorry for otherwise 'eh' post on my end. Not much to say on my end, anyways.

...Cold Shoulder?...

"Its just this way."

Didn't like the vibe he was getting, at this point.

She walked away from him, a slightly indifferent look on her face, and it felt slightly colder. Did he screw up again? ...Maybe he should have let her decide when to break the kiss. Or... was something going on here, that even he wasn't understanding too well? All faults in this turn of events seemed to be aiming at him.. his face stony, solid again.

They walked on for a bit, his eyes moving to her feet, watching them kick up some leaves.. yea. He'd definitely screwed up. Definitely screwed up...

Okay then. We get it. Now fix it, dumbass.

Lagging behind her.. just a little, both hands went up, catching her at the shoulders, stopping her.

".."

Can you say it?

"..."

I said, CAN YOU SAY IT!?

"...W-Wait... Calamity."