Fire Drill

[chihiro]

((ooc: Mainly for Aureus, but if you'd like to join in the fire drill madness, I won't stop ya XD))

Chemistry was boring, not to mention confusing. And it couldn't have anything to do with Chi's inability to pay attention for long periods of time. She understood the elements, the basics of the measurements of said elements, but then the equations became too mathy for her taste. As the teacher stood at the front of the room brandishing his pointer at a chart on the board, the dark haired junior stared out the window to her right, her chin resting in her hand, her elbow on the table. She still sported the long sleeved/dark eyeliner look, but today her sleeves were a soft green under a dark pink 'death cab' tshirt. Her thumbs poked through the bottom of the sleeves, covering half of her hands. The cut was more or less healed, but it was becoming a habit. Her nails were painted a shiny black.

Just as the lecture was becoming interesting (not), a loud piercing sound made its way to the students ears. Fire drill. Perfect. Grabbing her sketchbook and stashing her pencil behind her ear, the junior got to her feet like the rest of the students, wordlessly making her way out of the building. She took a few steps away from the mass of students, sitting down on the grass and opening her sketchbook. The drill was bound to stir some frenzied activity. It always did. So instead of taking about 10 minutes of their time to take role and reenter the building, it usually took about twice that.

[Aureus]

505 707 540 404 707 440 202 402 54 45420 Aureus mentally repeated to himself, picking the strings of his Fender FSR Standard in time with the music in his mind. It was the intro to Blink-182's "Stay Together for the Kids." It was a good song for stretching out your fingers, but needed to be played fast as hell. Currently the Pillar could only play it about half speed. For the last twenty minutes he had been sitting in the same chair in the band room practicing over and over. It was always hard starting a song at first, especially one you knew and liked, because you knew what it was supposed to sound like, and your shitty version of it was disappointing. Just another obstacle to overcome.

Today in particular it was harder than usual, as his arms ached like they had been run over with a truck. All those fights... he thought, trying his best to endure the throbbing pain. It wasn't just his arms either, his whole body ached. He really needed a break, and planned on avoiding conflict for at least two days to heal. "Fucking pinky!" He growled in annoyance at the digit after it missed a string and slid off into the gap between two strings. Taking a deep breath, he tried to relax and started again.

It was about half way through the intro that a loud whine broke the Pillar's concentration. "What the fuck!?" He yelled, not remembering what the sound meant until a second later. "Damnit..." the mumble fell from his lips and he stood and disconnected the guitar from the amp; he planned on taking it with him. Why? Well, maybe there really was a fire, and he'd be damned if his guitar was burnt up. Walking towards the door, Aureus snatched his bookbag from the floor and slung it over his right shoulder.

Stepping out of the crowded hallway and out into the noon sun, the boy thought he heard someone call his name. Looking behind him while stepping backwards through the grass, he looked for the person calling him. Strangely no one was there, and his back peddling lead him to someone sitting down. He hadn't been paying attention and almost tripped over her. Flailing for a moment, he regained his balance and turned to see who the hell was in his way.

The sight of Chi knocked whatever words he had been harboring out of his mind, and he stared wordlessly at her for a moment. His tight grip on the neck of the guitar loosened and slid through his hand, landing next to the dark haired beauty.

[chihiro]

Chi removed the pencil from behind her ear, flipping open her sketchbook to a clean page. Pulling her sleeves down farther over her hands, she began drawing, ignoring the loud clamour made by the other students as they exited the building. All of a sudden, someone nearly fell over her, a semi-large object falling at her side. "Hey, watch what you're-!!" She cursed, nearly jumping out of her skin before darkly made up chocolate hues caught sight of who had nearly fallen over her, and her words died in her throat.

She froze, simply staring at him staring at her, her dark eyes wide, and her mouth slightly open from the unfinished sentence. Her cheeks burned red and she her gaze fell as she became suddenly interested in the grass she was sitting on, trying to keep her breathing steady and calm her now racing heart.

[Aureus]

It was the first time he had seen her in weeks and he wished he hadn't. Not that she hadn't been on the boy's mind, no he couldn't even go a whole two hours without thinking about her. Her painting still hung on his bedroom wall and she was the last thing he thought about before drifting off into sleep. But now that she was right in from of him again, looking away and hurting just as much as he was, he couldn't stand it. He wanted to move, pick up his guitar, and get as far away from her as possible. Move...move...move... he kept telling himself, but it was no use. He didn't really want to leave her.

Studying her once familiar features, it seemed she hadn't changed at all. Yet there was something broken in her, that much was obvious to anyone, or maybe it wasn't. He didn't know, hadn't taken a poll. The urge to touch her, hug her, feel her body against his was driving him mad. At the same time he was scared, honestly scared. Shaking slightly, he tried to keep his breath steady.

"Sorry...I wasn't looking..." The Sophomore muttered, something Chi hated.

[chihiro]

Chi flinched at his muttering, something she chidded him about often when they were dating, but now she didn't bother to correct him. She was too busy trying to will her cheeks to cool themselves. Every nerve in her body was twinging uncomfortably, longing to leap into his arms and pretend the last few wekks had never happened. That none of it ever happened. But there was no going back, not now. She would have to get over it.

"S'alright." She muttered back, drawing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them, her sketchbook sandwiched between her legs and her stomach. Her gaze was directed in front of her...she couldn't look at him again or she might break. Go away, just go away please... she willed silently while at the same time wanting him to come closer. But nothing good would come of that. Nothing good could come of them. Of her. Anymore.

[Aureus]

Scratching the back of his neck nervously, Aureus racked his brain for something to say to her. "What were you drawing?" he asked, having totally forgotten that his prized guitar was still laying on the grass. Waiting for her to answer, his mind wandered off to the reason they were forced apart. That bastard... The Pillar thought with hate, squeezing his fist tightly. It was just a matter of time until he was strong enough, then he'd fixed things. He had been going a bit far, but it's what had to be done. He would never stop, not until his body broke.

[chihiro]

"Uhh, that tree line." She replied awkwardly, lifting her right hand to point directly in front of her, this time addressing his feet. Truth be told, she was simply doodling, as nothing had really caught her eyes to draw yet. When she lifted her arm to point, her right sleeve came up just past the healing cut accidently, but she didn't notice it.

Chi bit her bottom as she glanced at his feet again before looking at the grass. The tension in the air between them was so thick, their conversation so stilted...it was terrible.

[Aureus]

"Oh...cool," He replied, dark eyes following her hand across the landscape. When she reached out, he noticed a cut around her wrist and wondered what it was from. Another thing that got to him was the fact she was trying her best not to look at him. How could he blame her though? It hurt, for the both of them...a lot. Aureus wanted to tell her how bad he missed her, but was sure that wouldn't help things.

Letting out a deep sigh, he looked back down at her. "Why's it have to be like this? Fuck..." He said, catching himself at the end, annoyed that he slipped up. Not to mention just being irritated altogether.

[chihiro]

Chi glanced up at him for the first time since the rooftop. Eyes met for an instant, and she looked away again, off at the treeline. "I told you, it's better this way." She said detachedly, noticing her wrist showing and she pulled her sleeve back down, a slight pink coming to her cheeks. Gathering her sketchbook and clutching her pencil in her hand she stood up, moving to walk away. "You don't know.."

[Aureus]

She was right, there was no choice, but it still pissed him off, which is why he had even said it in the first place. "Yeah, I guess it is better. Not that we even have a choice, but I'll fix it, eventually. And if I don't know then tell me. Is it going to matter that much? I doubt things could get worse," He said, amazingly calm. He had almost fully accepted the reality of things, and if there was something he was missing, she should have told him.

[chihiro]

"Things are far worse than you think they are, Aureus. That's why I left. You aren't to know about it because it would kill you." She said shortly, turning back so that her chocoalte hues pierced his. her gaze spoke of the pain and humiliation she had endured at the hands of the transfer. Something he couldn't fix no matter how strong he became.

"Good bye, Aureus." She pressed, turning back around and walking away from him. He couldn't know what had happened, as much as she wanted to tell him, as much as she wanted to just share her pain so they could get over it together, she couldn't. Because what he didn't know was that in the end, Karel had broken her will. The cut on her wrist only showed the result of her resistance at first. The rest was all her fault.

[Aureus]

"Really now? Because I've imagined some pretty fucked up shit, alright? If it could kill me, I would have let myself fall off that roof two weeks ago!" Aureus snapped back, not willing to let her walk away just yet, though the look in her eyes showed more pain than he thought she was feeling.

"No, we're not done. Is this how things are now? He's just broken your entire fucking life forever? I'm tired of you feeling so guilty for me. I get the feeling you think it's your fault, and even if it is, so what? Are you just giving everything up because of that one thing?" He said as he followed her, the attraction of other people obvious to him now. It was none of their business.

[chihiro]

Chi turned back to face him, her long dark hair whipping around like a curtain. "Don't...you...even...say..that." Her voice was shaking, her eyes glistening as she glared at him. Hurting himself by falling off a roof wasn't what she wanted at all, she didn't want him to physically hurt himself just so she wouldn't mentally hurt him. "Stuff has happened and yeah, at first it wasn't my fault, but now-" She cut off, hugging her sketchbook to her chest and turning back out to the treeline. "Just trust me, okay? You don't want to get tangled up in this. I don't even want to be tangled up in this. I don't want to take you down with me for my mistakes."

[Aureus]

"I said it because it's the damn truth. But I didn't, and now it's not even a thought, so don't bother yourself about it. And I can't trust you, not now when you're blaming yourself for everything and spending too much time worrying about me. I'm already tangled up in this, and I agreed to be dragged down with the you the second I said I loved you! If you think I'm just gonna forget about you, and let you suffer just because of one mistake you're wrong. Maybe I'm just a fucking idiot, but if I am you're not going to change it."

The tension was rising and Chi was really on edge, even more than he was. But that was the reality of the situation. She really had to stop the constant blaming of herself, it was just stupid, even he could see that.

[chihiro]

She couldn't just push him away. He wasn't going to take no for an answer. The only way would be to make him see how messed up she really was. "Do you want to know? Do you really want to know?! Fine, I slept with him, and not just once, but twice! By my own free will. This cut-" She lifted her sleeve and waved her right wrist at him, clutching her sketchbook in her left, "Is only from the first time. When he bound me. Before I consented. Consented, Aureus, which means I let him do it. I even went back! And I don't know why." She was yelling, and rambling, and just blurting everything out as if the dam of her emotions had broken through.

"I am a terrible person. I'm not just blaming myself for what happened because it's true. Now leave me alone." She was shaking, and a tear had escaped to the crease of her eyes but she ignored it. Once again she turned away. She couldn't face him now that he knew what a traitor she was.