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Post by Jack on Oct 11, 2011 22:00:45 GMT -8
Continued from here: It was some time later, Jack wasn’t sure he couldn’t see his clock anyway, from what he could make out his room was a mess, he was pretty sure it was clean when he came in. what the fuck? Jack’s trained eyes scanned the room, shit was broken things were thrown, it looked like his room was the ring for some royal rumble. Jack’s answer came all too soon, looking down he saw a small little naked girl rolled up and clinging to his right arm. Her perfect red lips could just be made out, whether or not she was awake he didn’t know he couldn’t see her eyes. As he lay back down careful not to move too much he sighed, wincing as his sore back touched the wet sheet, why is my back wet? the smell of blood filled the air, memories of their past interactions flooded back to him. He knew his back had been used as a scratching post, he just… knew. Jack’s arms had been clawed, Kevala’s nails were dug deep into his arm, he wasn’t going anywhere. Rolling over he placed his left arm over Kevala and just lay there with her, wincing as he did so, her nails cutting right through his skin. |
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Oct 11, 2011 22:12:48 GMT -8
Content? You could say that. She was for once, sated. If there was one thing she could always say for certain about being with Jack, it was that he was the one and only person she had never had to worry about hurting so badly that he didn't want her around anymore.
Which was good, because it was like all sense of logic went right out the window when they were together. Hell, she was pretty sure every primal urge either one possessed came out.
As she felt him move, she sighed very softly, the scent of blood filling the air, the taste still on her tongue. If she could have purred in that moment she would have.
He had always called her his kitten had he not? And he was her tiger....Just the way they were. The tender spots on her neck where he had bitten her simply making her smile all the more, however lazy and sleepy it was.
As his arm wrapped around her, she peeked one eye open, looking to make certain a light was on....She was tired, but she had to have a light...if not....she would panic before she ever got to sleep.
Seeing there was none, she would slowly slip out of his arms and off the bed....moving to the nearest room to his, assuming it was the bathroom, but if not, then whatever room it was, and turning the light on.....
Not a word spoken as she crawled her way back into bed and wiggled her way into his arms once more, nuzzling her head into his chest as she sighed softly......Just.....letting herself relax for a little while.....maybe...just maybe.....the nightmares would not come tonight?
She could hope.....
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Post by Jack on Oct 11, 2011 22:24:26 GMT -8
He felt her get up and move, he was tired but he was alert, always alert. Watching her get up out of his bed he smiled, the back of her looked as good at the front in his opinion. She disappeared into the next room, turning the light on, it wasn't a very bright light but enough to add a glow to his bed room. She came back into his room sliding into his arms, resting up against his scratched chest. His lips firmly pressed against the back of her neck. His left hand rubbing the inside of her thigh, slowly creeping further in.
"I missed being with you"
That's all he could say, he wasn't really sure what else to say. His stomach grumbled, or hers did, he wasn't sure. One of them was hungry well he was ALWAYS hungry.
"Are you hungry?
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Oct 11, 2011 22:37:18 GMT -8
As she laid there, the sound of his stomach growling brought a light smile to her face, yet even when he spoke of food, she simply shook her head and let her small hand grasp his wrist of the arm that was currently draped over her. Tugging it every so slightly in a gesture to have him hold her a bit tighter, to not leave her just yet.
For all the things that they she felt for him, many of which was unclear and clouded by all the games that she seemed to constantly be playing with him, the one that stood out in her mind above all others in this moment was the fact that from the first time they had been together, she had felt secure and safe when wrapped within his arms.
It was strange. That very same animalistic and primal thing that brought them together into the throws of heated, rough and passionate sex was the very same thing that created this feeling. It was as though in these moments, she could be certain he would do anything to protect her and keep her safe. She was of course so very uncertain if that was really the case, given that things between them had always had this dividing wall that neither dared to cross.
They had a good thing and it worked, so why mess with it?
At least that was what she believed that was the mutual thought they both shared. Yet, Kev felt something more than she had ever let on to him. She had treated him like a lover, like an ally in some game against the world, as a friend. But deep down, she had started to fall for him, before it had all gone bad and before she had disappeared from his life.
The trail of fuck ups on her end never seemed to cease, and gods knew she wanted so badly to make them right. To show those she cared about that she was different..that she had changed.
She wanted, in this moment, to let him in to a part of her that invisible barrier between them had kept him locked out of. But at the same moment, she feared that by doing so, she was risking that which they had now.
Closing her eyes, she let out a soft sigh, eyes opening again to stare at the far wall across from her, as her back remained pressed firmly into his chest.
"Jack......"
She paused, her tone was soft, almost hesitant and though it still held the soft tinges of the lingering passion from their previous acts, there was something else, something more, emotional.
"If I let you inside my heart, gave you a glimpse of my true self....of my soul....would you promise me not to hurt me?"
She had ignored the food question still, and the question had a slight tint of fear and nervousness as it was posed. Her hand which still held to his wrist, only working to secure his arm around her all the more firmly.
He was always one to make light jokes, to try and ease the atmosphere and tension that came from having such serious conversations, but something in the way she spoke and the way she seemed to be trying to hide herself with him embrace said that right now, she needed him to be there, with her.
Both in the physical sense, as he already was, but in the emotional sense as well. No joke, no teasing or poking fun. Though that was what she loved about him, due to the fact it mimicked her own teasing and "make light" attitude. Right now, she was taking a risk and seeing if she meant enough to him to warrant a break in that persona, if she meant enough that he would dare venture into the hidden parts of herself she had never allowed him to see.
She of course wanted him to answer the question, but before he was given time to respond she spoke up quietly, eyes closing as she trembled just slightly.
"I need you to know why I am so different now, I need you to know why I could not tell you that I loved you before......So please, promise me this one thing?"
There, she had said it, if he caught it, well she did not know. But she had admitted to having loved him. Hopefully driving home the fact that this was indeed something rarely seen from Kevala. She was letting her guard down for him.......Just....hopefully it did not end badly for her.
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Post by Jack on Oct 17, 2011 19:40:23 GMT -8
"Jack......"
Jack’s brow raised as she stirred, somehow more intently listening to her, as if he were a dog who’s ears had just perked up. If he had a tail it would no longer be wagging.
"If I let you inside my heart, gave you a glimpse of my true self....of my soul....would you promise me not to hurt me?"
Then I would rip it out.. Jack would inwardly chuckle at his joke, he always made light of the serious it was just his nature. He couldn’t help it. Jack’s body naturally moved with Kevala’s pull, pulling her closer to him or him closer to her it really didn’t matter. The previously hot and lust full atmosphere around them was subsiding and at an alarming rate so was certain parts of his body. Jack was contemplating the question she had put forward it was a hard thing to promise, to never hurt someone. He was a free flowing guy he had plans, goals and ambitions but he knew the way life was that could all change in a heartbeat.
"I need you to know why I am so different now, I need you to know why I could not tell you that I loved you before......So please, promise me this one thing?"
Jack pulled Kevala closer into him, his lips firmly pressed against her shoulders. “I can’t promise you that I’ll never hurt you but I can promise that I’ll never leave you, I’ll always be there in the morning.”
It made him feel warm that she had at some point loved him, they were young back then well younger then they currently were. It was indeed something that brightened up his otherwise boring existence.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Oct 20, 2011 21:23:32 GMT -8
She listened to his words, and nodding slightly, her mind lost in thought as she tried to think of what to say, how to phrase what it was she wanted to get out. It was so much easier to play in her head than it was to throw out there right then and there.
"I was lost before. I hated myself and so I always tried to push everyone away that I cared for.....I didn't think I deserved being loved.....being wanted or cared for, so I fought it with everything I had....."
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, as she let her mind wash over the rest of her statement, her entire body trembling as the memories washed over her. Those four walls, the darkness and the men, their hands.
She tensed and felt her stomach turn, yet somehow she managed to get the words out, however weak they were.....
"Then I was locked up.......tortured, drugged, tested on............r...raped...."
She barely got it out before she felt as though she was going to throw up, her eyes closing tighter as she fought back tears and a wave of nausea that washed over her. Her complexion paling slightly.
Before she could really say anything else, another wave hit her as another memory did and she was forced to sit up, the only thing she could think of to combat the sick feeling she currently had, eyes opening to get a grip on her surroundings. To remind herself she was not there anymore.
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Post by Jack on Oct 21, 2011 0:43:50 GMT -8
Jack say there listening to her speak sharing with him things he never would have dreamed about. Himself having committed unspeakable acts cringed at the thought of others touching her did it change the way he thought of her, no. Did he pitty her, no, he pitied the poor fool who ever lay his hands on her jack would murder them if he ever got his hands on them. Kevala was worse, she would be so ruthless that they would be begging to for death.
The protective instincts firing up within him the more he thought about it the angrier he got. Guilt filled hin, guilt and regret at not being there for her it was after all veryeaat his job to protect her well it was before he got fired. Maybe he should have fought for the school captain title or taked with her to fins out why she was acting so strangely maybe this all explained it. Jack wasn't smart enough to be able to work it all out that was for phoenix to do. If he had known she was in danger jack would have taken over for her while she sorted things out that was at the very least his duty.
"When did this all happen?"
Jack didn't get alarmed at kevala's sudden movement not wanting to startle her instead he remained quiet for a moment. If she didn't reply jack would ever so gently touch her on her lower back. "kevala" if she turned to him jack would smile "come back" jack was inviting her to lay back down against him.
If she did jack would wrap his bear like arms around her pulling her body against his bare chest. "there is nothing in this world that can stand against us. Be strong and nothing can hurt you especially nightmares."
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Oct 22, 2011 22:19:50 GMT -8
She felt the slightest touch to her back, making her tense up as she was currently lost back in that place, the images as fresh as the time they occurred. Biting her lip, she looked around, reminding herself where she was, and then slowly, reluctantly laying back down beside him, curling into his arms.
"Back....at 774....."
She squeaked out the words as she blinked back a few tears...her hand absentmindedly going over the scars on the inside of her thighs and making her stomach turn once more, though instead of moving away, she turned and buried her face against his chest, a little whimper escaping her as her entire body trembled with the memories.
"Wh...When everyone thought I tried to kill myself.....Th..They had done that to me....They had attacked me....then drugged me....Sh..She didn't know....so she committed me....And thats when...."
She could not finish, the memories hard enough to live with, let alone speak about. Though she did not move, she didn't think she could if she wanted to.
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Post by Jack on Oct 22, 2011 23:08:59 GMT -8
"Wh...When everyone thought I tried to kill myself.....Th..They had done that to me....They had attacked me....then drugged me....Sh..She didn't know....so she committed me....And thats when...."
"It's okay, Just let go of it, all of it"
Resting his chin on top of her head as he cradled her keeping her close and safe to him. It was a tight bind not much room to move freely. If Kevala just wanted to lay there in silence he would, moving only to press his lips onto her forehead.
If Kevala didn't speak up Jack would wait there for a few more minutes before increasing the distance between them gradually as he sort of rolled over onto his back. It some time later that Jack would turn his head to look at Kevala. Stretching his neck out he would move to kiss her on the lips or the tip of the nose depending on whether or not she moved to him.
"I want to be with you."
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Oct 22, 2011 23:15:02 GMT -8
She would try to get more out, she really would, but it was hard and in the end she just shook her head and bit her lip so roughly that it bled into her mouth, nothing she was not used to...Her body staying curled against him as she continued to tremble softly.
Finally, when he moved, she would open her eyes, watching him for a moment, unsure of what to say beyond that. She was terrified of people knowing the whole truth, and yet she had spilled most of it.....well, the most she could. The experiments, the being killed just to be brought back she would leave for now.....she didn't think she had the stomach for that.
Then when he moved he would indeed capture her lips, making her relax just a bit as she drew in his familiar scent and the warmth of his kiss. Feeling a bit better with just that simple act. Though when he pulled back, she looked at him a bit confused, his words seeming to strike her as a bit odd, at least given the position they were currently in.
"Y..You are with me....."
Yeah, cause for her everything was in the here and now. Nothing future, and she did not see herself as eligible..........not anymore. She had screwed up so much with so many people, she was pretty well set on being alone ultimately, for the rest of her life. So yeah......his statement, however obvious it might have been to some, came completely out of left field for her, leaving her confused and unsure what to say or to think.
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Post by Jack on Oct 23, 2011 17:44:02 GMT -8
"Y..You are with me....."
"Am I?" Jack posed the question, it was a good enough time now to get everything off his chest. He was more then happy to keep things the way they were. He had enough on his plate as it was he didn't need another person permanently in his life but he wanted it, deep down he wanted it. "Can you honestly say that I'm with you, will I be with you tomorrow, or next week? Will I be with you next month? I want to be, do you?"
He had to ask it, he had to put it forward it was what he wanted, was it wrong to push for things you wanted? Jack have off a small nervous look as he waited for her response.
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Post by Kevala Badoer on Oct 24, 2011 22:07:53 GMT -8
He had to stop this. He was very confusing. She was trying very hard to make sense of what he was saying but at the same time it was just not within her power to do so it seemed. Still, after a moment of thought, realization started to dawn on her, she looked at him like he had just said the most shocking thing on the face of this Earth.......Which, he had pretty much.
Biting her lip, she looked down, hesitant at first. Not because of him, or because of what he wanted. That made her happy beyond what you could imagine. No, it was herself that she could not trust, herself that always screwed things up and she was scared to death of fucking this up to.
"I...I mess everything up though.....everything good...."
She contained another whimper that wanted to escape. Biting her lip that much harder until she finally gathered the courage to look back up at him. A few tears building in her eyes as she tried hard to stamp them down. She was so sick of crying, but it was all she had left these days it seemed.
"Y...You are sure?"
She had to make sure he was sure. If not, then well..........this was just going to go as not having ever happened and that was that....but if he was...well then that put them in a whole new league didn't it?
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