A raven's smile (Autumn's blog)

[Autumn]

Date:12/2/2011

So I heard that everyone is doing this blog shit. I thought it would be interesting for me to do one my self. It would be hilarious if anyone actually read this. I don't think I will put anything private in here. It isn't like it is my diary or anything. Where should I start though? Well, probably with my vacation from school huh? Yea, probably best now that I think about it.

So England... that is where we went. Carol's entire family is British which is weird cause well... Carol doesn't have that stupid accent. Oh my god! I couldn't stop laughing at them. Their accents were so funny and I don't know why! It was like ridiculous how much I laughed. I got called a stupid American "Git" so many times! It was fantastic! Hahaha! Carol was glad I was enjoying my self though. I did buy Lilly and Tyler new clothes. They got spoiled over there. It is amazing...these people are in no way blood related to us and yet... they treated my children and I so... nice. It was kinda sickening how nice they were, even more sickening was how prim and proper I had to pretend to be.

Mom... I mean Carol... anyway, she took the kids to so many museums. I mean, at first I was worried about her and them going out on their own, but it was nice to just sleep around the house and Demon was happy to have me there to groom him. I think I got even more pale there though. I didn't do much there to be honest. Didn't really like the weird food either. I mean... eel pie, really? What the hell?! Uhg! I'd rather eat something made by Klingons.

It is good to be home now. It was odd to celebrate the kids 2nd birthdays with strangers. Even more odd for me to celebrate my 17th birthday and have random people singing to me. I didn't honestly know how to react. I smiled. It was so weird, I honest to god smiled.

Better sign off then. Carol is gone and the kids are crying cause they are waking up from their nap. What a weird way to sign off... "I gotto go cause my two year old brats are sobbing." I really need to think of some better way to end this...

[Autumn]

Date: 12/3/2011

OH MY GOD! Holy crap! How long have I been gone!? The school... it's totally.... destroyed... I went back with Carol to go and register and its gone! I had no idea. I really... this was my new start... this was supposed to be the place where no one knew me, my past or my problems and I was supposed to start new. It is all gone though. I don't know what to do. My entire new life... is gone...

Carol said she will home school me. I don't know how. Now that I am out of school she is working in an office. I guess it gives me more time with Lilly and Tyler. I do love them but... being a teen mom is hard. Coming back from England I realized I don't have any friends and before that was fine and all but... now I wish I had someone other to talk to. My kids, my mom...Demon.... they are great and I love them but can I please just walk out the door with out a list of baby items to go buy? Never mind. That is stupid. I'm totally alright with this. I mean, so what I don't have friends. So what I didn't have anyone to tell me that the school was destroyed and so what Lilly is now chewing on my leather belt.

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Wait... What? Oh my god I got to go! Till next time Blog people. Till next time.

[Autumn]

Date: 12/13/2011

Wow, so I've had a wild few days. Let's start with Christmas shopping. I took the twins shopping for gifts for mom, each other, and Demon. Mom is going to take them out to get gifts for me. Anyway... this lady randomly walks up and took the stuffed toy the girls wanted to get for Demon. I was like... seriously?! Christmas time and people are pulling that shit!? What the FUCK is wrong with them? Were they abused as children? What the hell!?

So, naturally I bitched the woman out right in front of the twins. I have to say I was proud. I know Carol wouldn't have liked it but, my girls needed to see that people weren't supposed to treat them like shit and if they did, they need to stand up for themselves. The woman of course called me a whore, but I was content with walking away. Well... till some boy randomly karate kicked her into a fish tank. THAT was actually pretty funny. He wanted to wreck her to hell and back but... for some reason I stopped him. I think England has really changed me. That worries me a bit. I miss being angry, hateful and ready for a good fight. Anyway... the boy was named Orion. Not too bad I suppose. He was nice enough to buy the presents the girls got for Demon.

I think Tyler had a bit of a crush. Silly 2 year olds. I wonder if my girls realize they aren't going to date anyone till I'm dead. I should let them know about this....

On a totally different topic, the girls, Demon and I met a monk. Yea I know right? A monk here isn't THAT uncommon, but he wasn't a poser. He was an honest to god monk. Kinda cute too, but then again he's a monk. Way too nice for me to deal with on a daily basis. The girls liked him. Tyler swears he knows Kung-fu and Lily couldn't help but smile at him the entire time. I think she had a crush too.

Demon was even nice to him wish is a surprise. Demon usually hates anything that isn't our family. We had ice cream together. I wonder what the people saw when they looked at that rag tag misfit group. Anyway... It was nice... I mean he and I didn't talk much, but it was nice being around someone else close to my age. Sure I was a few years younger but that didn't matter. He was closer to my age then Carol is. The girls hope to run into him again. I can honestly say it wouldn't be the worst thing.

The twins are hungry. I need to make lunch. I'll write again soon. Bye bye.

[Autumn]

Date: 1/14/2012

A day ago I met a boy named Adrian in the book store. He stalked me. He was SO annoying! I hated him. I hated his voice, his smile. Everything!

He found me again... in the comic book store with Tyler and Lilly. He took us to get ice cream. I was still angry. Still didn't trust him. Mom got the kids and they left...

I was left alone with him. I shouldn't have been left alone. I ranted, I bitched, I complained... it felt like hours we were in that parking lot. Hours that he sat there talking to me...

I don't know what is going on. I find my self confused. I don't know if I like him... or like the idea of someone liking me. I skipped something here... I know I did... He kissed me... three times... maybe more. I lost count. I didn't know what to do. I was... it was unexpected.

I'm still in shock. My thoughts aren't together. You know... he smacked me on the butt when he left? I wanted to race after him and pummel him but... I... something was wrong with me. My mind wasn't there.

I don't know what is going on with me anymore. I just needed to write this down. To try and make sense of it all... but I can't. I need to go.
Bye.