Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2011 2:38:31 GMT -8
12 - 25 - 2011
Had a therapist who said this would be a good idea, help me work through my problems or some other bullshit. I did just fine living my life, having fun, fighting at the school, and partying... though with this war that all is pretty much over with. Might as well give this shit a shot.
I guess it's Christmas again, though it's hard to tell now that Barker has started World War 3. Never got this holiday anyway... fucking stupid. It doesn't matter anyway, all it is... is another day.
At least now the Crows are ready, for the most part, to start taking back the city from that bastard and his fucked henchmen. I can't help but laugh at the fact that the "savoirs" and "powerhouses" of that school now run and hide. It is pathetic! Undoubtedly the fighting will fall on the Crows, I can not say if they are ready for it but I will bear as much of the fighting as long as my body is able to protect them. They were fringe members of a society now called to save it, I dare not ask for much more than support... it is unfair. I know,should we win WHEN we win, they will be lauded as heroes for a brief moment before their deaths are forgotten and they are pushed back to the fringe. I only hope I can make it far enough to reach the end of this.
I dare not count the times I've been shot or stabbed, I don't think I could count that high, but my body MUST hold. It is a heavy burden I bear, I feel it upon my shoulder... both the real and fake ones. Yet, it is not a burden I can share with anyone. I must bear it alone until the end. Areon has sacrificed himself, Fett is severely wounded and his recovery is indeterminable, Kazuya... there is a doubt deep within his heart that I don't think even he is fully aware of, and Jayr... Mia... Tsubame, they should all be kept from harm. I MUST endure till the end.
Lucky my rage, for the most part, has subsided. Thanks to Dora's finger being jabbed into my wounds, there is not much flying off the handle I can do against that. I am forced to lay in bed and think. I don't think she will ever know or understand how crucial her actions were to saving us. Though I believe she is just acting on Fett's orders, the man still outsmarts me even at death's door. I can't help but wonder how much easier this would be with us fully healed and Areon still beside us.
I wonder if these thoughts passed through his mind...
I can not deny the feeling that my death looms around the corner, that this war will be the end of me. However I can not say I fear it. I have lived beyond anything I ever should have, a 3 year old has no business surviving alone 5 years on the streets, no one should recover from almost having an arm blow off by a shotgun, and no one should survive a shot that SHOULD have hit their heart. Until now I have only lived for myself, if there is some power guiding us... I feel this is what I was saved for.
A chance...
Though I may never hold the woman I love in my arms...
There are many things I will never get to say, to do... so I will write them here so that you all may know in the end.
To Fett: Watch over them when I am gone, or Areon and I shall be very disappointed in you.
To Dora: You saved us... me. Thank you.
To the rest of the Militia: Protect that German bastard. He needs you more than he realizes, no matter what he says.
To Mia: You have a very long life ahead of you. Enjoy it.
To Kazuya: I have one last order... live well.
To Jayr: Keep smiling. No matter what.
Tsu
(There is a tear drop with the psychic vibe "I'll write it later.")
Had a therapist who said this would be a good idea, help me work through my problems or some other bullshit. I did just fine living my life, having fun, fighting at the school, and partying... though with this war that all is pretty much over with. Might as well give this shit a shot.
I guess it's Christmas again, though it's hard to tell now that Barker has started World War 3. Never got this holiday anyway... fucking stupid. It doesn't matter anyway, all it is... is another day.
At least now the Crows are ready, for the most part, to start taking back the city from that bastard and his fucked henchmen. I can't help but laugh at the fact that the "savoirs" and "powerhouses" of that school now run and hide. It is pathetic! Undoubtedly the fighting will fall on the Crows, I can not say if they are ready for it but I will bear as much of the fighting as long as my body is able to protect them. They were fringe members of a society now called to save it, I dare not ask for much more than support... it is unfair. I know,
I dare not count the times I've been shot or stabbed, I don't think I could count that high, but my body MUST hold. It is a heavy burden I bear, I feel it upon my shoulder... both the real and fake ones. Yet, it is not a burden I can share with anyone. I must bear it alone until the end. Areon has sacrificed himself, Fett is severely wounded and his recovery is indeterminable, Kazuya... there is a doubt deep within his heart that I don't think even he is fully aware of, and Jayr... Mia... Tsubame, they should all be kept from harm. I MUST endure till the end.
Lucky my rage, for the most part, has subsided. Thanks to Dora's finger being jabbed into my wounds, there is not much flying off the handle I can do against that. I am forced to lay in bed and think. I don't think she will ever know or understand how crucial her actions were to saving us. Though I believe she is just acting on Fett's orders, the man still outsmarts me even at death's door. I can't help but wonder how much easier this would be with us fully healed and Areon still beside us.
I wonder if these thoughts passed through his mind...
I can not deny the feeling that my death looms around the corner, that this war will be the end of me. However I can not say I fear it. I have lived beyond anything I ever should have, a 3 year old has no business surviving alone 5 years on the streets, no one should recover from almost having an arm blow off by a shotgun, and no one should survive a shot that SHOULD have hit their heart. Until now I have only lived for myself, if there is some power guiding us... I feel this is what I was saved for.
A chance...
... to stop a madman.
... to save the city.
... to save the world.
... to redeem the honor I lost so many years ago.
... to save the city.
... to save the world.
... to redeem the honor I lost so many years ago.
Though I may never hold the woman I love in my arms...
There are many things I will never get to say, to do... so I will write them here so that you all may know in the end.
To Fett: Watch over them when I am gone, or Areon and I shall be very disappointed in you.
To Dora: You saved us... me. Thank you.
To the rest of the Militia: Protect that German bastard. He needs you more than he realizes, no matter what he says.
To Mia: You have a very long life ahead of you. Enjoy it.
To Kazuya: I have one last order... live well.
To Jayr: Keep smiling. No matter what.
Tsu
(There is a tear drop with the psychic vibe "I'll write it later.")