Post by Jack on Jul 14, 2012 12:20:35 GMT -8
OOC: I've decided to mix up my writing style I'll jump between first person and third person. I think this is the best way I can express and develop the odd changes my character is going through.
Also I'm not sure where this has taken place, it has definitely taken place around the same time as my bringing sexy back thread as Jack is covered in bandages but I'm not sure if it's before or after suck a sage thread. Please bare that in mind if you choose to enter this thread.
EDIT:
I decided this was better placed in character events as it's a major single post thread.
IC:
It was dark in here, I could hear his breathing so clearly. A part of me wanted to bust through the little metal grate and just rip his through out the other part of me wanted to sit here and cry about all the shit I've done. I eventually heard his voice from behind the metal grate "In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit, Ahem." I made the sign of the cross as I was instructed to do and said the magic words. Forgive me father for I have sinned...
Some time earlier (maybe even days)
Freedom, freedom is what I feel now it's all I have left that's mine. The blood that runs through my body warms up, nearly to boiling point as I rush through this changed world around me. Echos of me yelling could be heard off into the distance, shouts in another language Russian, German maybe I'm close... I can hear them. I can smell them The hunter flashed his white teeth as his pace quickened, his acute hearing able to judge from which direction they were and how far they were. The echo's made hard however he was used to hunting in these areas he had gotten good at judging things.
"Here" he announced as I turned the corner I saw the game I had been hunting for several blocks now I let out a shout of joy as I drew my cleaver.I smiled at them, there was nothing more pleasing to a hunter to know that all your hard work was about to pay off. I had to go around them so I could get in front. Well I didn't have to but It would have saved me time having to take them out one at a time, now I can just kill them all at once
He stared for a long time, motionless, basking in the little moonlight that was present. There was one thing that they could see clearly and that was the light bouncing off his white teeth. Taking in the detail of his prey he began to pace side to side, like a lion stalking it's prey. They're Predators each and every one of them, those who take advantage of the weak in this time of chaos like me. Finally the hunter broke the silence and his prey shuddered at the sound of his voice for it was the sound of their imminent death. They were paralyzed before him unable to yell or unable to move like deer before high beams. "Come, it is time you die"
The fight was short but it was bloody, when they knew it was over that they couldn't run anymore they they had to fight with every thing they. Charging at them Jack cleaved the hands off those who drew their guns first, in the process he had been ut and stabbed several times. Stepping back hunched over from the pain in his side Jack stared into the eyes of the men who had just stabbed him. "Impossible I, I fucking stabbed him!"
Laughing as he stood straight, the demon inside of him, covered in blood the wolf let out a mighty growl. "Now... It's my turn!" He activated his ability, a dark veil erupted around them. Their screams were like music to his ear spinning through them he cut them down left right and center cleaving limb from body. He hacked away, laughing as he did so, "Yes, do it now, harder more! Yes! Kill him now!" Heh, you again? More voices, more lessons. "You're weak, you think being a warrior is risking your life when you want to? I'm strong because I risk my life every day in the persuit of becoming the best" Heh really Leon? You're going to lecture me now?
It was somewhat strange that when ever Jack felt lost he always heard those words, of a much younger Leon. He could remember the fear he felt at being held by his throat being pressed back into the locker, being lectured by the man who had just shattered his hand. Given Jack broke Leon's in the process, but the damage was overwhelming. Jack had always been a big fish but now he was a fucking gold fish in a sea of Great Whites. He too would become one of them, at least at the time he thought that's what they were, but there were more. Out there, the previously thought biggest fish possible were in fact smaller fish and so he climbed up the ladder and here he is. One of the final survivors of #552.
It's actually quite interesting the way things turned out when I think about it long and hard. They're dead and I'm alive, so why do I feel so empty? I outlived them, at the end of the day I was stronger because I continue and they don't yet why doesn't it feel like I've won? Where's the medal, where's the award?
Finally there was one man left, Jack dropped his cleaver and paced over to the man, leaning down he grabbed the last man by the head with both hands. Clamping them around his vice like grip crushing his skull, forcing his eyes to bulge with the pressure applied to them. Jack lifted him in the the air all the while applying a crushing pressure on his skull. Always, I always stared at them in the eyes. I wanted to look into the eyes of the one I was going to kill "Please... spare me! Forgive me!" "Your sins, are forgiven, go in peace." Releasing him from his grip the man dropped to the ground and then fell to his knees with a thud. However no sooner than Jack had turned his back on him to make his way could he hear the cocking of a gun and the sadistic laugh of the mass murder.
This man wished to claim my life But I was too fast for him, I spun around grabbing him by the throat, my fingers closing around his windpipe digging into his skin. My voice was cold, it was wrong, this isn't how it was meant to be but I didn't care. I was about to make the kill "Your sins are forgiven, but they will never be forgotten! NOW DIE!" and with that the man's life was no more Jack's eyes glowed white, his skin color changed to an almost blue as his veins were pushed to the surface of his skin. "I can see your sins"
The hunter stalked away, fleeing the crime scene although it was unlikely anyone would care about these criminals. This was a lawless world where the strong were ruled weak were and oh how they flourished. But in the era that was to come men and women like them had no place, he himself had no place so maybe just maybe he could find a purpose before the new era started. Because as history proved he could never ever change.
Some time later
What was it that I said to him? I can barely remember. Oh. Now I do, how long ago was it? A few hours or a few days I can not remember Picking himself up out of a corner in an abandoned building he pushed through a door it was still dark but he had no idea how much time had passed. To be honest he didn't even know what day of the week it was. Tightening the bandages around his body he buttoned up his coat pulling the hood over so to conceal his face he picked up a bag and continued walking aimlessly through the desolate city.
Avoiding all the main roads he eventually made he way to a small run down church. Knocking on a side door I waited patiently until someone opened a small slit, I stared into the eyes of my greeter, as quickly as he had opened the slit he closed it. Not long later he heard bolts being removed and the thick wooden door swung open. He said something along the lines of "Welcome home brother". I didn't say any in return I just nodded my thanks and moved on through the church. Families huddled by the side of the church and in between pews. Weakling, all of them, well not all but most. It is strange that a wolf finds himself guarding the game but that Is all I have left in this world.
Moving over to a small group of people Jack dropped the bag down into the middle of them. Several people glared at him with contempt many with indifference but there was one special one among them.
I wasn't sure why she looked at me the way she did, maybe it was compassion? I was unsure for so long I had relied on my instincts to guide me the rest it is clear they fear me, but they need me. For who else would stand the night long guard duties that I do? Who else would kill and sacrifice all to fight for them? No one but me. No one but someone who has nothing to live for but to fight and fuck. I like it that way. But still why does she look at me that way.
The female opened the large bag and looked at it's contents, a variety of canned food, bandages, medicine, basic painkillers among other stronger medication. There was also a few other necessities, baby food, powdered milk.
"Where did you get all this? Did you hurt people? Did you kill again?"
I glared at her, who was she to question me? Of all people she had no right to question me a common whore who sold herself to survive has no right!
"What does it matter? The sick will get the medication, the hungry will eat for one more night at least"
"It matters to him!" She was referring to God again, I fucking hate these pious fucks. But as long as he stayed here he had to abide by the old mans rules. Honestly if he dedicated half as much time to learning how to fire a gun as he did to reading that book and preaching about peace these people would be well fed for a year. "To live at the expense of someone else's life is no life I wish to live!"
"Then you can fucking starve, and the rest of them shall live longer"
"What about the goods we gave you to trade did you at least bring those back"
Oh how rich was this, when it came to taking supplies by force she preaches and pretends she doesn't want any part of it yet instead of being great full for the supplies I bring her, she wants what is rightfully mine as well
"All gone"
"What do you mean gone?"
A male voice beside her piped up, flashing him a death stare another stood up more aggressive than the last "He probably spent it all on alcohol or drugs the fucking thief". Flashing his teeth Jack moved into the man's direction before having the barrel of a gun pressed into his side. Turning his head to stare into the eyes of the man who spoke first. "Go on, pull the trigger put me out. I'm just a dog to you but see how long you survive without me! I'll be sure to laugh up at your from hell as hoarders run through this place, stealing all they can and raping who ever they can. I stared directly at her, she was young maybe 17 or 18. Too young to have experienced what he had but old enough to understand the horrors of a chaotic world.
"Enough of this! Child come!"
Oh God, the old man is here to spoil my fun "Well I must be off, later cow boy. But remember you'll find yourself all alone one day, that gun of yours will be out of bullets and all that will be left between you and a pack of hungry rabid dogs is your loyal wolf. Lets just hope I don't join my cousins and rip your fucking throat out" I turned around and made my way to the father. He opened the door to the Confessional and ushered me in. I sat down in the dark box, after a short time I heard his voice "In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit, Ahem."
As I was instructed I made the sign of the cross and began to speak "Forgive me Father for I have sinned to be honest I have no idea how many days it has been since my last confession. Every time I go out I lose track of time. I find myself in odd places, the pain in my skin grows worse. I accuse myself of the following sins.”
I had to pause to think about it for a moment the old man even thought it proper to press him along "Go on, tell me your sins" "I killed again father, I did as you told me to forgive the men who hurt people but when I dropped him I knew deep down that I wanted to kill him and when I heard him cock his gun I didn't even hesitate I killed him and I enjoyed it! I enjoy killing father, I enjoy taking the lives of those like me. It empowers me. It's as if I get stronger and stronger which each kill. I wouldn't label them as victims no more than a deer is a victim to a lion."
"Go on. Anything else? How about your dreams?"
"I have not had a dream for a month now, or at least not like I used to. Now my dreams are not separate from my world they are apart of it. I relive passed experience, I see things I never saw before I understand my passed more clearly. Yet at the same time sometimes they make no sense it's as if i'm reliving my life and the confusion I felt back then is completely different to now. All over again, #552 or #774 or #259. They are rarely in chronological order it's all over the place."
"My child you have just recovered from a serious head wound it will take time to heal, to be back to the way you used to be but how is this connected to your sins"
"sometimes in my fits of rage when I fight when I kill I see them and hear them, they talk to me. They guide me through my actions or taunt me. They're like teachers guiding my fists constantly directing my actions but I know they're not real. I know I'm just seeing things. Like lessons from the passed sometimes I remember their names, sometimes I don't not a first at least. But I always enjoy the killing and so do they."
"When I found you, you were a bloody mess. Weak, wounded, starved. We picked you up, that was six months ago. We nursed you back to health and you served us. You have risked life and limb to feed those around you. God loves you and will always forgive those who want to be forgiven. However I must question whether or not you want forgiveness. That being said you have made progress, at first you were blind with anger, with rage. You have opened up your heart to God but now you must embrace him. You have committed the worst crimes you can commit yet you have done so to protect and while those around you may forget your sins, they will never forgive. That is why God is great, for he always forgives yet never forgets. Say five Hail Mary's and tomorrow fast for a day.
I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Go in peace"
"Thanks be to God"
Jack moved out from the confessional and off into the church. Sitting down near the area which was given to him, he rummaged through his bag for some of his bandages. They were gone. Sitting there his anger began to rise up in him. He kills for them, he bleeds for them and they steal from him.
"Oi asshole, you're on guard duty and then patrol tonight" Of course I am, I always am the nights had been getting progressively more violent and dangerous, supplies were running short in some parts of town so people began moving out further or into other areas in search of food. A dirty rifle and a box of bullets were thrown his way. "Don't go wasting them all or trading that gun for more alcohol you low life punk" Jack let out a grunt but picked up the rifle and began to clean it. If he needed to use it he'd be damned if it jammed on him although knowing these people he wouldn't put it passed them to have tampered with it so it blew up in his face. Deciding to not take any chances he pulled the rifle apart and check every bit of it.
Moments later the girl who spoke to himself returned in her hand were his freshly cleaned bandages among other things in the other a bucket of water. "They were so dirty, I thought maybe they could use a wash sorry for going through your stuff"
She took a knee beside him him and placed his bandaged on top of his rucksack. Taking a cloth she dripped it into the bucket of water and with her other hand she took his. Instantly he with drew his hand not wanting to be touched by her. Although just as fast she took his hand again. Slowly she began to wash away the dirt and grit from his bloody knuckles. "If you don't clean them they'll get infected" "I know and I don't care"
Nothing was said in return. Once she finished with his left hand she began addressing his right. "Come let me help you with your wounds. It about time you changed the dressings on some of them. They're beginning to smell rank."
"If you insist although I warned you"
Her hands brushed along his side as she helped him out of his coat, removing his t shirt. She began to unwind his bandages around his torso. Stopping when she got to his back. The freshly cut wounded was beginning to heal but it still looked disgusting. "I'll be right back"
"heh, you're weak girl! You wouldn't last a day in the war zones!"
Sometime later she returned with a nurse, they had disinfectant, needles, silk thread, tweezers. Everything they needed to remove the maggots and close up the knife wound.
"You really should have told someone about this. How long as this wound been like this?"
"A few days now, I got it last time I went in for some supplies."
A few minutes later his wound was cleared of all dirt and stitched up. A bit of antiseptic was applied and the nurse hurried on off to attend to the sick. The girl continued to unravel his bandages. Applying new dressings she stopped when the majority of him was bandaged up. He had burns and wounds that needed to be protected, although it was just as much a mental thing as a practical thing.
After a while his upper body was covered in new bandages. He pulled on the new t shirt she had brought him and continued to clean his gun. Once he was finished cleaning his gun he loaded the rifle and double checked that the safety was on. Standing up he slid into his coat and made his way out into the night to stand guard. Until he was meant to go on patrol.
It could get cold at night, while it was still the middle of summer here the dust clouds and smoke from the burning city have mixed in with the air and have yet settled. As such the days were warmer but the nights were colder.
The vapor from his warm breath built up around him, intensified by the cloud of smoke surrounding him. It just lingered there motionless the lack of wind to take it away. His rifle rested over his shoulder his hand gripping tightly to the blade. It's black metal represented his heart but it's red leather hilt his passion and rage. He was a cold man but he was passionate. This sinister tool was given to him by a man who he considered his friend, once upon a time at least. But where was he when this city fell, where was he when Jack was laying in bed fighting for his very life. Where was he when Jack was confronting his demons. But most importantly where was she? Probably off somewhere with that whore.
For the second time in recent history he felt utterly cheated of the prospect of happiness. The way they all acted so smug, so much better than him absolutely rubbed him the wrong way. They thought him of expendable. For so long he had been drilled and trained, but even to those who just wanted to use him he was never expendable. Stein had taken care to hone him, to sharpen him, when he fought along side Marcus they protected each other. Why was it the one person he loved with all his heart thought him expendable.
The Australian closed his eyes and began to search himself, it had been some time since his last rampage. Slowly he began to rebuild the barrier around him to hold the beast at bay. Every time he rampaged it just put Jack back to square one. He had made progress with the father's help but he couldn't control it. No, he didn't want to he finally felt alive when he let his emotions go. Everything seemed balanced, he never thought irrationally he always cold and calculated and when he needed to flare up he did so. Just like the Great White shark, he always had a reserve of energy for that life or death melee.
As he thought about past memories his rage began to flare again, his heart racing. He couldn't help it once again he felt like he was going to have a heart attack, dropping his cigarette to the floor Jack clutched his chest with his left hand and let out a grunt of pain.
Resting against the cold hard stone of the church Jack tried to regain his breath. Droplets of sweat running down his neck. He was heating up and rapidly, the beast inside of him was rattling at his cage, it was angry it was just fed up with being restrained. You fucking hypocrite you rely on me when ever your life's in danger or you fucking use me to fight for you when you're angry and you want to be free but when you're all safe you want me to serve you! It wasn't that Jack was speaking to someone else for he was just thinking it, nor was he thinking he was speaking to someone else for he knew he was only thinking to himself (I know it's only possible to think to yourself there being no other alternative). Jack knew that there was no one else, only himself but yet sometimes it helped to just say it. Even if he didn't physically say it was still a conversation in his brain.
He wanted to be free from the shackles he wanted the strength that was rightfully his and to do so he had to release the beast that for so many years had been dormant waiting for his master to return and once again have need of his services. The frequency at which his true self had come out was alarming. Not because Jack was afraid of it but because when Jack had released everything, he killed all the time, he raped, he stole, he assaulted, he loves, he cries. It is of sorts his clear self, his see through self.
Footsteps could be hear approaching and as quickly as the sound hit Jack's ear he reined in his inner beast which dulled the pain. Not before long a small figure came to him, he knew it was her just from her silhouette, smell of her perfume which he wore on special occasions. Jack had gotten used to her shape, smell and sound. For a very long time, his eyes had been covered completely, eventually it was just a small bandage that protected him against most light but sometimes he could see her silhouette. He knew it was her even before she introduced herself. For the last however months he had known her scent and then eventually her sound.
"Why do you dis..." He words were cut short by the pressure of her lips against his. In that moment he lost all feeling and just took hold of her. This wasn't the first time they had kissed although it was the most intense. "Oh shut up, I know we'll never be together but at least we can enjoy it!" Her hands fumbled at his belt, undoing it. Pulling down his trousers. She was wearing a dress with nothing underneath so it was easy enough for him to lift the small frame of the girl and do what he had to.
His skin began to itch as droplets of sweat moved down his body, some of his sweat glands still blocked, heat rash effecting a large portion of his body. But what needed to work, was working. She let out a small muffled moan not wanting to wake anyone or alert them to their presence. When they stopped they were all hot and stick. He let her down, not bothering to pull his trousers back up, he found the cool air soothing.
"Go back to bed, it's time for patrol"
Jack bent down and kissed her on the forehead. He could hear some of the men waking up, getting ready for patrol. He pulled his pants up and did up his belt. Instead of walking back with her he made his way to the side door where they usually met for their patrols. It took them another five minutes to be ready and to assemble. He didn't A random male brought Jack his pack, struggling to carry it. "What the hell do you pack in this thing?"
"Food, medical supplies, goods to trade anything I might need out in the field"
"Anything you might need when you leave the church with all our goods" Jack merely grunted his disapproval at the other man's comments. Taking the pack by the strap in his right hand Jack effortlessly hoisting the bag onto his shoulder before fastening all the clips and straps. Only a few men in the group could carry his pack and none of them could just fling it around like it was nothing. Jack liked being the strongest and he liked reminding them of that fact.
"Make sure you check your gear, if there's anything you're missing say so now. You know your groups, Luke and Francis you're both primary squad captains. Simon, Philip and Frank you go with Luke."
"Roger"
"Jake, Carson and John you guys go with Francis. Michael you're in charge of the vanguard and scouts. Take Mason, Toby and Otto and scout ahead. If you come under fire and need help light the flare and we'll be there to help you. Sure you'll alert everyone to your presence but we'll be able to come to your aid. Any questions?"
For a while no one said anything before of course Michael always had to open his mouth to voice some disdain about Jack and his leadership qualities or his motives.
"And what will you be doing exactly"
"There are some things I would like to do, there's rumors of a rival group in the area. One of our goals for tonight is to locate this group and to take them out of they're a threat.
I'll also be acting as the rear guard looking for any one who is tailing us, so I'll be moving around the place.
Okay? Good let's move out. Luke, Francis move out, you both have maps with your route. Michael scout where you want to, you have maps of our routes. Good luck guys"
"My God be with you"
One of them called out after Jack as he turned and began to run wanting to check out if the rumors were true. There was maybe 5 hours until daylight if they were going to be attacked by a group looking to steal their supplies and bring harm to his people Jack would find them and cripple them. What was it that the priest always said? "You are my lambs" and lambs were only good for slaughtering.
It took him about thirty minutes to find what he was looking for, a run down building noise was coming out of it. The male smirked as he dropped to the ground, hiding among the rubble. Jack waited patiently, before long that consistent noise erupted into shouts and screams. Gun shots were heard and a few minutes later men came outside carrying a body between them. They disappeared into an ally way and returned a few seconds later chuckling to themselves. Jack overheard only bits and pieces of what they were talking about not wanting to risk giving himself away and getting any closer.
END of ACT 1
Also I'm not sure where this has taken place, it has definitely taken place around the same time as my bringing sexy back thread as Jack is covered in bandages but I'm not sure if it's before or after suck a sage thread. Please bare that in mind if you choose to enter this thread.
EDIT:
I decided this was better placed in character events as it's a major single post thread.
IC:
Prologue
It was dark in here, I could hear his breathing so clearly. A part of me wanted to bust through the little metal grate and just rip his through out the other part of me wanted to sit here and cry about all the shit I've done. I eventually heard his voice from behind the metal grate "In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit, Ahem." I made the sign of the cross as I was instructed to do and said the magic words. Forgive me father for I have sinned...
Some time earlier (maybe even days)
Freedom, freedom is what I feel now it's all I have left that's mine. The blood that runs through my body warms up, nearly to boiling point as I rush through this changed world around me. Echos of me yelling could be heard off into the distance, shouts in another language Russian, German maybe I'm close... I can hear them. I can smell them The hunter flashed his white teeth as his pace quickened, his acute hearing able to judge from which direction they were and how far they were. The echo's made hard however he was used to hunting in these areas he had gotten good at judging things.
"Here" he announced as I turned the corner I saw the game I had been hunting for several blocks now I let out a shout of joy as I drew my cleaver.I smiled at them, there was nothing more pleasing to a hunter to know that all your hard work was about to pay off. I had to go around them so I could get in front. Well I didn't have to but It would have saved me time having to take them out one at a time, now I can just kill them all at once
He stared for a long time, motionless, basking in the little moonlight that was present. There was one thing that they could see clearly and that was the light bouncing off his white teeth. Taking in the detail of his prey he began to pace side to side, like a lion stalking it's prey. They're Predators each and every one of them, those who take advantage of the weak in this time of chaos like me. Finally the hunter broke the silence and his prey shuddered at the sound of his voice for it was the sound of their imminent death. They were paralyzed before him unable to yell or unable to move like deer before high beams. "Come, it is time you die"
The fight was short but it was bloody, when they knew it was over that they couldn't run anymore they they had to fight with every thing they. Charging at them Jack cleaved the hands off those who drew their guns first, in the process he had been ut and stabbed several times. Stepping back hunched over from the pain in his side Jack stared into the eyes of the men who had just stabbed him. "Impossible I, I fucking stabbed him!"
Laughing as he stood straight, the demon inside of him, covered in blood the wolf let out a mighty growl. "Now... It's my turn!" He activated his ability, a dark veil erupted around them. Their screams were like music to his ear spinning through them he cut them down left right and center cleaving limb from body. He hacked away, laughing as he did so, "Yes, do it now, harder more! Yes! Kill him now!" Heh, you again? More voices, more lessons. "You're weak, you think being a warrior is risking your life when you want to? I'm strong because I risk my life every day in the persuit of becoming the best" Heh really Leon? You're going to lecture me now?
It was somewhat strange that when ever Jack felt lost he always heard those words, of a much younger Leon. He could remember the fear he felt at being held by his throat being pressed back into the locker, being lectured by the man who had just shattered his hand. Given Jack broke Leon's in the process, but the damage was overwhelming. Jack had always been a big fish but now he was a fucking gold fish in a sea of Great Whites. He too would become one of them, at least at the time he thought that's what they were, but there were more. Out there, the previously thought biggest fish possible were in fact smaller fish and so he climbed up the ladder and here he is. One of the final survivors of #552.
It's actually quite interesting the way things turned out when I think about it long and hard. They're dead and I'm alive, so why do I feel so empty? I outlived them, at the end of the day I was stronger because I continue and they don't yet why doesn't it feel like I've won? Where's the medal, where's the award?
Finally there was one man left, Jack dropped his cleaver and paced over to the man, leaning down he grabbed the last man by the head with both hands. Clamping them around his vice like grip crushing his skull, forcing his eyes to bulge with the pressure applied to them. Jack lifted him in the the air all the while applying a crushing pressure on his skull. Always, I always stared at them in the eyes. I wanted to look into the eyes of the one I was going to kill "Please... spare me! Forgive me!" "Your sins, are forgiven, go in peace." Releasing him from his grip the man dropped to the ground and then fell to his knees with a thud. However no sooner than Jack had turned his back on him to make his way could he hear the cocking of a gun and the sadistic laugh of the mass murder.
This man wished to claim my life But I was too fast for him, I spun around grabbing him by the throat, my fingers closing around his windpipe digging into his skin. My voice was cold, it was wrong, this isn't how it was meant to be but I didn't care. I was about to make the kill "Your sins are forgiven, but they will never be forgotten! NOW DIE!" and with that the man's life was no more Jack's eyes glowed white, his skin color changed to an almost blue as his veins were pushed to the surface of his skin. "I can see your sins"
The hunter stalked away, fleeing the crime scene although it was unlikely anyone would care about these criminals. This was a lawless world where the strong were ruled weak were and oh how they flourished. But in the era that was to come men and women like them had no place, he himself had no place so maybe just maybe he could find a purpose before the new era started. Because as history proved he could never ever change.
Some time later
What was it that I said to him? I can barely remember. Oh. Now I do, how long ago was it? A few hours or a few days I can not remember Picking himself up out of a corner in an abandoned building he pushed through a door it was still dark but he had no idea how much time had passed. To be honest he didn't even know what day of the week it was. Tightening the bandages around his body he buttoned up his coat pulling the hood over so to conceal his face he picked up a bag and continued walking aimlessly through the desolate city.
Avoiding all the main roads he eventually made he way to a small run down church. Knocking on a side door I waited patiently until someone opened a small slit, I stared into the eyes of my greeter, as quickly as he had opened the slit he closed it. Not long later he heard bolts being removed and the thick wooden door swung open. He said something along the lines of "Welcome home brother". I didn't say any in return I just nodded my thanks and moved on through the church. Families huddled by the side of the church and in between pews. Weakling, all of them, well not all but most. It is strange that a wolf finds himself guarding the game but that Is all I have left in this world.
Moving over to a small group of people Jack dropped the bag down into the middle of them. Several people glared at him with contempt many with indifference but there was one special one among them.
I wasn't sure why she looked at me the way she did, maybe it was compassion? I was unsure for so long I had relied on my instincts to guide me the rest it is clear they fear me, but they need me. For who else would stand the night long guard duties that I do? Who else would kill and sacrifice all to fight for them? No one but me. No one but someone who has nothing to live for but to fight and fuck. I like it that way. But still why does she look at me that way.
The female opened the large bag and looked at it's contents, a variety of canned food, bandages, medicine, basic painkillers among other stronger medication. There was also a few other necessities, baby food, powdered milk.
"Where did you get all this? Did you hurt people? Did you kill again?"
I glared at her, who was she to question me? Of all people she had no right to question me a common whore who sold herself to survive has no right!
"What does it matter? The sick will get the medication, the hungry will eat for one more night at least"
"It matters to him!" She was referring to God again, I fucking hate these pious fucks. But as long as he stayed here he had to abide by the old mans rules. Honestly if he dedicated half as much time to learning how to fire a gun as he did to reading that book and preaching about peace these people would be well fed for a year. "To live at the expense of someone else's life is no life I wish to live!"
"Then you can fucking starve, and the rest of them shall live longer"
"What about the goods we gave you to trade did you at least bring those back"
Oh how rich was this, when it came to taking supplies by force she preaches and pretends she doesn't want any part of it yet instead of being great full for the supplies I bring her, she wants what is rightfully mine as well
"All gone"
"What do you mean gone?"
A male voice beside her piped up, flashing him a death stare another stood up more aggressive than the last "He probably spent it all on alcohol or drugs the fucking thief". Flashing his teeth Jack moved into the man's direction before having the barrel of a gun pressed into his side. Turning his head to stare into the eyes of the man who spoke first. "Go on, pull the trigger put me out. I'm just a dog to you but see how long you survive without me! I'll be sure to laugh up at your from hell as hoarders run through this place, stealing all they can and raping who ever they can. I stared directly at her, she was young maybe 17 or 18. Too young to have experienced what he had but old enough to understand the horrors of a chaotic world.
"Enough of this! Child come!"
Oh God, the old man is here to spoil my fun "Well I must be off, later cow boy. But remember you'll find yourself all alone one day, that gun of yours will be out of bullets and all that will be left between you and a pack of hungry rabid dogs is your loyal wolf. Lets just hope I don't join my cousins and rip your fucking throat out" I turned around and made my way to the father. He opened the door to the Confessional and ushered me in. I sat down in the dark box, after a short time I heard his voice "In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit, Ahem."
As I was instructed I made the sign of the cross and began to speak "Forgive me Father for I have sinned to be honest I have no idea how many days it has been since my last confession. Every time I go out I lose track of time. I find myself in odd places, the pain in my skin grows worse. I accuse myself of the following sins.”
I had to pause to think about it for a moment the old man even thought it proper to press him along "Go on, tell me your sins" "I killed again father, I did as you told me to forgive the men who hurt people but when I dropped him I knew deep down that I wanted to kill him and when I heard him cock his gun I didn't even hesitate I killed him and I enjoyed it! I enjoy killing father, I enjoy taking the lives of those like me. It empowers me. It's as if I get stronger and stronger which each kill. I wouldn't label them as victims no more than a deer is a victim to a lion."
"Go on. Anything else? How about your dreams?"
"I have not had a dream for a month now, or at least not like I used to. Now my dreams are not separate from my world they are apart of it. I relive passed experience, I see things I never saw before I understand my passed more clearly. Yet at the same time sometimes they make no sense it's as if i'm reliving my life and the confusion I felt back then is completely different to now. All over again, #552 or #774 or #259. They are rarely in chronological order it's all over the place."
"My child you have just recovered from a serious head wound it will take time to heal, to be back to the way you used to be but how is this connected to your sins"
"sometimes in my fits of rage when I fight when I kill I see them and hear them, they talk to me. They guide me through my actions or taunt me. They're like teachers guiding my fists constantly directing my actions but I know they're not real. I know I'm just seeing things. Like lessons from the passed sometimes I remember their names, sometimes I don't not a first at least. But I always enjoy the killing and so do they."
"When I found you, you were a bloody mess. Weak, wounded, starved. We picked you up, that was six months ago. We nursed you back to health and you served us. You have risked life and limb to feed those around you. God loves you and will always forgive those who want to be forgiven. However I must question whether or not you want forgiveness. That being said you have made progress, at first you were blind with anger, with rage. You have opened up your heart to God but now you must embrace him. You have committed the worst crimes you can commit yet you have done so to protect and while those around you may forget your sins, they will never forgive. That is why God is great, for he always forgives yet never forgets. Say five Hail Mary's and tomorrow fast for a day.
I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Go in peace"
"Thanks be to God"
Jack moved out from the confessional and off into the church. Sitting down near the area which was given to him, he rummaged through his bag for some of his bandages. They were gone. Sitting there his anger began to rise up in him. He kills for them, he bleeds for them and they steal from him.
"Oi asshole, you're on guard duty and then patrol tonight" Of course I am, I always am the nights had been getting progressively more violent and dangerous, supplies were running short in some parts of town so people began moving out further or into other areas in search of food. A dirty rifle and a box of bullets were thrown his way. "Don't go wasting them all or trading that gun for more alcohol you low life punk" Jack let out a grunt but picked up the rifle and began to clean it. If he needed to use it he'd be damned if it jammed on him although knowing these people he wouldn't put it passed them to have tampered with it so it blew up in his face. Deciding to not take any chances he pulled the rifle apart and check every bit of it.
Moments later the girl who spoke to himself returned in her hand were his freshly cleaned bandages among other things in the other a bucket of water. "They were so dirty, I thought maybe they could use a wash sorry for going through your stuff"
She took a knee beside him him and placed his bandaged on top of his rucksack. Taking a cloth she dripped it into the bucket of water and with her other hand she took his. Instantly he with drew his hand not wanting to be touched by her. Although just as fast she took his hand again. Slowly she began to wash away the dirt and grit from his bloody knuckles. "If you don't clean them they'll get infected" "I know and I don't care"
Nothing was said in return. Once she finished with his left hand she began addressing his right. "Come let me help you with your wounds. It about time you changed the dressings on some of them. They're beginning to smell rank."
"If you insist although I warned you"
Her hands brushed along his side as she helped him out of his coat, removing his t shirt. She began to unwind his bandages around his torso. Stopping when she got to his back. The freshly cut wounded was beginning to heal but it still looked disgusting. "I'll be right back"
"heh, you're weak girl! You wouldn't last a day in the war zones!"
Sometime later she returned with a nurse, they had disinfectant, needles, silk thread, tweezers. Everything they needed to remove the maggots and close up the knife wound.
"You really should have told someone about this. How long as this wound been like this?"
"A few days now, I got it last time I went in for some supplies."
A few minutes later his wound was cleared of all dirt and stitched up. A bit of antiseptic was applied and the nurse hurried on off to attend to the sick. The girl continued to unravel his bandages. Applying new dressings she stopped when the majority of him was bandaged up. He had burns and wounds that needed to be protected, although it was just as much a mental thing as a practical thing.
After a while his upper body was covered in new bandages. He pulled on the new t shirt she had brought him and continued to clean his gun. Once he was finished cleaning his gun he loaded the rifle and double checked that the safety was on. Standing up he slid into his coat and made his way out into the night to stand guard. Until he was meant to go on patrol.
It could get cold at night, while it was still the middle of summer here the dust clouds and smoke from the burning city have mixed in with the air and have yet settled. As such the days were warmer but the nights were colder.
The vapor from his warm breath built up around him, intensified by the cloud of smoke surrounding him. It just lingered there motionless the lack of wind to take it away. His rifle rested over his shoulder his hand gripping tightly to the blade. It's black metal represented his heart but it's red leather hilt his passion and rage. He was a cold man but he was passionate. This sinister tool was given to him by a man who he considered his friend, once upon a time at least. But where was he when this city fell, where was he when Jack was laying in bed fighting for his very life. Where was he when Jack was confronting his demons. But most importantly where was she? Probably off somewhere with that whore.
For the second time in recent history he felt utterly cheated of the prospect of happiness. The way they all acted so smug, so much better than him absolutely rubbed him the wrong way. They thought him of expendable. For so long he had been drilled and trained, but even to those who just wanted to use him he was never expendable. Stein had taken care to hone him, to sharpen him, when he fought along side Marcus they protected each other. Why was it the one person he loved with all his heart thought him expendable.
The Australian closed his eyes and began to search himself, it had been some time since his last rampage. Slowly he began to rebuild the barrier around him to hold the beast at bay. Every time he rampaged it just put Jack back to square one. He had made progress with the father's help but he couldn't control it. No, he didn't want to he finally felt alive when he let his emotions go. Everything seemed balanced, he never thought irrationally he always cold and calculated and when he needed to flare up he did so. Just like the Great White shark, he always had a reserve of energy for that life or death melee.
As he thought about past memories his rage began to flare again, his heart racing. He couldn't help it once again he felt like he was going to have a heart attack, dropping his cigarette to the floor Jack clutched his chest with his left hand and let out a grunt of pain.
Resting against the cold hard stone of the church Jack tried to regain his breath. Droplets of sweat running down his neck. He was heating up and rapidly, the beast inside of him was rattling at his cage, it was angry it was just fed up with being restrained. You fucking hypocrite you rely on me when ever your life's in danger or you fucking use me to fight for you when you're angry and you want to be free but when you're all safe you want me to serve you! It wasn't that Jack was speaking to someone else for he was just thinking it, nor was he thinking he was speaking to someone else for he knew he was only thinking to himself (I know it's only possible to think to yourself there being no other alternative). Jack knew that there was no one else, only himself but yet sometimes it helped to just say it. Even if he didn't physically say it was still a conversation in his brain.
He wanted to be free from the shackles he wanted the strength that was rightfully his and to do so he had to release the beast that for so many years had been dormant waiting for his master to return and once again have need of his services. The frequency at which his true self had come out was alarming. Not because Jack was afraid of it but because when Jack had released everything, he killed all the time, he raped, he stole, he assaulted, he loves, he cries. It is of sorts his clear self, his see through self.
Footsteps could be hear approaching and as quickly as the sound hit Jack's ear he reined in his inner beast which dulled the pain. Not before long a small figure came to him, he knew it was her just from her silhouette, smell of her perfume which he wore on special occasions. Jack had gotten used to her shape, smell and sound. For a very long time, his eyes had been covered completely, eventually it was just a small bandage that protected him against most light but sometimes he could see her silhouette. He knew it was her even before she introduced herself. For the last however months he had known her scent and then eventually her sound.
"Why do you dis..." He words were cut short by the pressure of her lips against his. In that moment he lost all feeling and just took hold of her. This wasn't the first time they had kissed although it was the most intense. "Oh shut up, I know we'll never be together but at least we can enjoy it!" Her hands fumbled at his belt, undoing it. Pulling down his trousers. She was wearing a dress with nothing underneath so it was easy enough for him to lift the small frame of the girl and do what he had to.
His skin began to itch as droplets of sweat moved down his body, some of his sweat glands still blocked, heat rash effecting a large portion of his body. But what needed to work, was working. She let out a small muffled moan not wanting to wake anyone or alert them to their presence. When they stopped they were all hot and stick. He let her down, not bothering to pull his trousers back up, he found the cool air soothing.
"Go back to bed, it's time for patrol"
Jack bent down and kissed her on the forehead. He could hear some of the men waking up, getting ready for patrol. He pulled his pants up and did up his belt. Instead of walking back with her he made his way to the side door where they usually met for their patrols. It took them another five minutes to be ready and to assemble. He didn't A random male brought Jack his pack, struggling to carry it. "What the hell do you pack in this thing?"
"Food, medical supplies, goods to trade anything I might need out in the field"
"Anything you might need when you leave the church with all our goods" Jack merely grunted his disapproval at the other man's comments. Taking the pack by the strap in his right hand Jack effortlessly hoisting the bag onto his shoulder before fastening all the clips and straps. Only a few men in the group could carry his pack and none of them could just fling it around like it was nothing. Jack liked being the strongest and he liked reminding them of that fact.
"Make sure you check your gear, if there's anything you're missing say so now. You know your groups, Luke and Francis you're both primary squad captains. Simon, Philip and Frank you go with Luke."
"Roger"
"Jake, Carson and John you guys go with Francis. Michael you're in charge of the vanguard and scouts. Take Mason, Toby and Otto and scout ahead. If you come under fire and need help light the flare and we'll be there to help you. Sure you'll alert everyone to your presence but we'll be able to come to your aid. Any questions?"
For a while no one said anything before of course Michael always had to open his mouth to voice some disdain about Jack and his leadership qualities or his motives.
"And what will you be doing exactly"
"There are some things I would like to do, there's rumors of a rival group in the area. One of our goals for tonight is to locate this group and to take them out of they're a threat.
I'll also be acting as the rear guard looking for any one who is tailing us, so I'll be moving around the place.
Okay? Good let's move out. Luke, Francis move out, you both have maps with your route. Michael scout where you want to, you have maps of our routes. Good luck guys"
"My God be with you"
One of them called out after Jack as he turned and began to run wanting to check out if the rumors were true. There was maybe 5 hours until daylight if they were going to be attacked by a group looking to steal their supplies and bring harm to his people Jack would find them and cripple them. What was it that the priest always said? "You are my lambs" and lambs were only good for slaughtering.
It took him about thirty minutes to find what he was looking for, a run down building noise was coming out of it. The male smirked as he dropped to the ground, hiding among the rubble. Jack waited patiently, before long that consistent noise erupted into shouts and screams. Gun shots were heard and a few minutes later men came outside carrying a body between them. They disappeared into an ally way and returned a few seconds later chuckling to themselves. Jack overheard only bits and pieces of what they were talking about not wanting to risk giving himself away and getting any closer.
END of ACT 1
