Post by Mathew Amtrum on Mar 19, 2013 22:04:09 GMT -8
Today I am one day closer to everything. To the day I die. To the day that Barker's blood splashes against my face. I wonder if it will be Red still, or if he is so beyond human that it would be a different color. I'm not sure which would interest me more, if it was Red or something new. I wonder if he is less or more human than myself.
Bastille went and talked to David and apologized per her instructions. I did notice that she kept the ring. I suppose that means that whatever they had is not over. Maybe they had sex, I don't know and I suppose it doesn't matter in the end. I never forbid her from sleeping with anyone else and if she did she will come clean in time. It is in her nature to resist me and try to hurt me but then to repent. Honor is very important to her.
I respect that. And it is one of the traits that drew me to her in the beginning. That and the sheer blind courage and stubbornness she had to stand up to me time and time again. She can shoulder through almost anything, but she is so fragile. Always close to breaking.
She told me not to die when killing Barker. So I will need to revise Beta protocol and come up with some new tactics. But it should be doable. With luck I won't need to touch my contingencies, but as always I will have them ready and in place. It was a little surprising though, she would gain her freedom with my death. She probably still plans to be the one to slide the dagger between my ribs and snuff the life from my eyes. I fully believe she intends to, but I don't think she will. She is a bird that sings about freedom and how marvelous it would be but it is just a song. She desires to be in her cage because it is safe. Not from harm of others, but from having to live without direction again. To be in the vast sky with no boundaries, it may be too much for her.
I suppose you will roll your eyes when you read this Bastille, but you won't have the chance to correct me. These won't grace your Red eyes until I have passed away. With luck that means these pages will be stiff and worn with age.
As for my young apprentices they are both shaping up quite nicely. Kiyr came close to having me snap her neck, but it was lucky for her that she did not try to excuse her actions. Her willingness to not back peddle on her choices and to accept the fallout, both good and bad of her actions. She might have what it takes to be a Dragon after all. I branded her for her treachery. I don't think she understands the gift she was given. The same gift I was given when I was her age. She might see it in time, but in the mean time I will need to push her harder. I need to set her up to fail.
I'm going to make her cry and to make sure her heart bleeds. She needs more pain to harden. She needs to learn that letting her emotions rule her will be her undoing. She is smart, but sometimes she does not think.
Rai on the other hand. I thought the boy was hopeless. He was an idiot, and incompetent. His only saving Grace was his relation to Leon, and honestly that tie was weak. It allowed him to get his foot in the door but it will not have any bearing on my treatment of him. If anything I expect more from him. Unfortunately he has a habit of coming up short.
He is too kind. He sees the weak and the hungry and he is driven to help them. In another time it might be an admirable trait, but we are at war. And assassins have already struck us. I fear that Rai will not learn the dangerous of trusting until he has been stabbed in the back. A lesson I feel obligated to arrange. Trust is something that should not be given freely, and even when earned should always be examined. You should never trust someone without having an idea of what to do should they betray you, because if you wait long enough it will happen.
Beyond that he has been shaping up nicely. The boy shows ambition and initiative. Physically his training is coming along nicely, I think he just needs to be pushed in the proper directions. Leon spouts his words of honor and duty, The Crows go on about community, and David talks of peace. All three of them have valid points, but they are all wrong. Rai needs to realize that all three of those things are horrible reasons to fight and die. Dying for your honor gets you a pointless death. Peace and community will get you left behind, your body left behind as they move toward the greater good. The only reason to fight, the only reason to die is because you gain something. Even through death you should make sure that you win. But people lose focus and see only the battle in front of them. Life is a war and you are the general of your own life.
I will need to remember to thank Barker at the wedding. He has been invaluable to me. The blind hatred that everyone has for him is wonderful. I could not ask for a better friend right now. He even had me losing sight of the big question. But I'm on to him now, and if it is what I think it is... Well, if it is what I think it is the man is good and I will tip my hat to him. I will still kill him, but we might be able to work something out until that day. I have a feeling that both of us know what will come next.
The enemy is a Hydra.
Who will die first, my enemy or myself?
It really is simple. So simple it's almost comical.
Bastille went and talked to David and apologized per her instructions. I did notice that she kept the ring. I suppose that means that whatever they had is not over. Maybe they had sex, I don't know and I suppose it doesn't matter in the end. I never forbid her from sleeping with anyone else and if she did she will come clean in time. It is in her nature to resist me and try to hurt me but then to repent. Honor is very important to her.
I respect that. And it is one of the traits that drew me to her in the beginning. That and the sheer blind courage and stubbornness she had to stand up to me time and time again. She can shoulder through almost anything, but she is so fragile. Always close to breaking.
She told me not to die when killing Barker. So I will need to revise Beta protocol and come up with some new tactics. But it should be doable. With luck I won't need to touch my contingencies, but as always I will have them ready and in place. It was a little surprising though, she would gain her freedom with my death. She probably still plans to be the one to slide the dagger between my ribs and snuff the life from my eyes. I fully believe she intends to, but I don't think she will. She is a bird that sings about freedom and how marvelous it would be but it is just a song. She desires to be in her cage because it is safe. Not from harm of others, but from having to live without direction again. To be in the vast sky with no boundaries, it may be too much for her.
I suppose you will roll your eyes when you read this Bastille, but you won't have the chance to correct me. These won't grace your Red eyes until I have passed away. With luck that means these pages will be stiff and worn with age.
As for my young apprentices they are both shaping up quite nicely. Kiyr came close to having me snap her neck, but it was lucky for her that she did not try to excuse her actions. Her willingness to not back peddle on her choices and to accept the fallout, both good and bad of her actions. She might have what it takes to be a Dragon after all. I branded her for her treachery. I don't think she understands the gift she was given. The same gift I was given when I was her age. She might see it in time, but in the mean time I will need to push her harder. I need to set her up to fail.
I'm going to make her cry and to make sure her heart bleeds. She needs more pain to harden. She needs to learn that letting her emotions rule her will be her undoing. She is smart, but sometimes she does not think.
Rai on the other hand. I thought the boy was hopeless. He was an idiot, and incompetent. His only saving Grace was his relation to Leon, and honestly that tie was weak. It allowed him to get his foot in the door but it will not have any bearing on my treatment of him. If anything I expect more from him. Unfortunately he has a habit of coming up short.
He is too kind. He sees the weak and the hungry and he is driven to help them. In another time it might be an admirable trait, but we are at war. And assassins have already struck us. I fear that Rai will not learn the dangerous of trusting until he has been stabbed in the back. A lesson I feel obligated to arrange. Trust is something that should not be given freely, and even when earned should always be examined. You should never trust someone without having an idea of what to do should they betray you, because if you wait long enough it will happen.
Beyond that he has been shaping up nicely. The boy shows ambition and initiative. Physically his training is coming along nicely, I think he just needs to be pushed in the proper directions. Leon spouts his words of honor and duty, The Crows go on about community, and David talks of peace. All three of them have valid points, but they are all wrong. Rai needs to realize that all three of those things are horrible reasons to fight and die. Dying for your honor gets you a pointless death. Peace and community will get you left behind, your body left behind as they move toward the greater good. The only reason to fight, the only reason to die is because you gain something. Even through death you should make sure that you win. But people lose focus and see only the battle in front of them. Life is a war and you are the general of your own life.
I will need to remember to thank Barker at the wedding. He has been invaluable to me. The blind hatred that everyone has for him is wonderful. I could not ask for a better friend right now. He even had me losing sight of the big question. But I'm on to him now, and if it is what I think it is... Well, if it is what I think it is the man is good and I will tip my hat to him. I will still kill him, but we might be able to work something out until that day. I have a feeling that both of us know what will come next.
The enemy is a Hydra.
Who will die first, my enemy or myself?
It really is simple. So simple it's almost comical.