Post by Date Masamune™ on Apr 18, 2013 12:53:17 GMT -8
Okay so some of you might already know, but Valo and I are brothers. We share the same father. A father who experimented on both of us, implanted an artificial organ, that was designed to control electricity, in my hand when I was an infant, and then tried to kill my girlfriend, forcibly remove my right arm to harvest said organ, and ended up leaving my arm half functioning for a good year or two, I couldn’t raise it past my shoulder, but I digress.
This story isn’t about the issues Valo and I have with our father. This story is about how my mother openly welcomed Valo into our household and he stayed with us for a while. During which he played a horrible, unspeakable April Fool’s day prank on me. A prank, that’s repercussions are still felt through the entire time space continuum, and a prank that will never be spoken of again.
Okay, so this story isn’t really about that story, but boy was that a good story. I’m still embarrassed. Maybe I’ll tell you about it later. This story is about now. The present. It is a story about one man’s triumph, and another man’s pain. A story about love, lust, gluttony, and above all else… revenge.
So you already know me, Shugo Yuy. I’ll assume you’ve at least heard of my brother, Valo Morei, as if I haven’t spoken about him enough already? He used to be kind of short, taller than me now but I still call him a midget. He’s a good guy. I trust him with my life, and more importantly the life of my family. Then there’s Jeeves. He’s my butler. We kind of have the whole Batman and Alfred thing going on. Except if Alfred was irritable and hated the world. At least they both sound British? No one really knows where Jeeves is from. All I know is that without him, I wouldn’t be half the man I am now. He’s helped me through my darkest time and acted as my guardian when I need him. To be honest, I think of him as a sort of grandfather, I never met my real grandparents. And finally there’s Shouichi Kanoe. I don’t know if that’s a real name or if he made it up, but he insists that that’s what he wants to be called. He’s a 10 year old orphan here at the Manor. He looks up to me and Valo. Even more than he looks up to us though, he loves to play pranks.
”I dunno Shugo. What you’re asking me to do sounds like a lot of hard work… and we both know how I feel about hard work.”
I sighed. The kid always wanted more, especially when it came to food. That was why I only offered him three of the five candy bars that I had with me. I ran my fingers through my hair and let out an exhausted sigh. I had to act like he was wearing me down. Haggling with a ten year old was nothing compared to the torture of being locked in a cold, damp cell in the dark for three weeks in the dark with one meal and two drinks a week, waiting for the right moment to strike back and attack to regain my freedom. But once again, I digress. That’s another story.
“How about I sweeten the deal for you then?”
I reached into my pocket pulling out another chocolate bar. I waved it around a little bit, as if I was thinking of taking it back. I could have gotten Shouichi to do the work for three, but if I want quality. I had to give him some incentive. I placed the fourth bar down on the table next to others. I could see the boy’s eyes widen and him gulp as he saw the candy. He was hooked, but I knew he would still want more.
”O-only four bars Shugo? Who do you think I am. I’m the Great Shouichi. King of Prankst-“
“Oh there’s more. You’ll get four more bars of chocolate after you’ve done the work.”
If this was a cartoon, his jaw would have hit the floor, and gone through it.
”You’ve got yourself a deal! The Great Shouichi, King of Pranksters! Master of Tricks is on your side!”
I smirked as I walked away from the boy. Maybe I should explain what’s going on a little bit more. Earlier that day, five cans of pink paint went missing. No one knew where they went. After all, I myself was the only one that went into the supply closet that day and everything was there when I went in. I would have seen if someone stole the paint if you catch my drift.
”Sir, don’t you believe that you might be taking this joke a tad far?”
I sighed. Jeeves was always such a sourpuss. He really needed to lighten up and enjoy the day of pranks for once.
“Jeeves. Do you remember April 1st, 2006?”
”Yes of course Sir, that was the year that Valo made you-“
“Never again Jeeves. Never again will I suffer such humiliation. And he moved out the next year so I didn’t even get a chance to prank him back. But this year. He’s going down. Could he please hand me the ¼ inch socket wrench?”
I was lying on my back in blue jeans and a white muscle shirt, working on the plumbing. A suspicious tub of pink liquid was next to me. I would adjust the plumbing so that this specific shower would draw from the tub rather than water reserves. I could hear Jeeves sigh as I continued to work. I think he thought I was crazy for going this far for a joke. But I’m not the crazy one. Oh no. Not me. They’re all the crazy ones. For laughing at me. On that April Fool’s Day. Oh I’ll show them all. Valo was going to look like even more of a fool than I did.
“Jeeves. Did you mix one of the cans in with his laundry?”
Jeeves would once again sigh. I could swear he felt almost ashamed at himself for following along with this. Maybe it was wrong of me to bring Shouichi and Jeeves into this prank… maybe I should have done this on my own… Was it unfair of me to- Oh wait shit. Gotta leave the bathroom. This is around the time that Valo usually goes in for his shower.
So you know that Jeeves mixed paint in with Valo’s laundry so that all of his clothes are pink. You know that I changed the plumbing so that it would spray pink paint all over Valo, turning him pink for a day or two. What you guys don’t know is what Shouichi’s doing with his paint. Well. Valo and I have a pair of motorcycles. Mine was built by a cybernetics and robotics expert back in New York. She’s a genius and my bike is a work of art. Barely needs any maintenance. Valo’s is a highly customized motorcycle developed by the US Government. It’s pretty fancy too. And they’re always parked right next to each other in the garage. So I should have probably seen this coming.
“Shouichi… what did you do to my bike?”
”What do you mean? It’s over there.”
The boy pointed at the other bike in the corner, Valo’s bike. My bike, now painted a bright pink, stood right next to him drying off. I had to admit, he did put on a couple of good even coats of paint. None the less, it was time to yell.
“Shouichi! That’s MY bike!!!”
I could feel my blood boil a bit as my plans fell apart. The boy looked between the two bikes and then did a slight facepalm as if he understood.
”Ohhhhh. Where’s my candy now?”
“LEAVE!”
”Okay, okay. But you’ll be hearing from my attorney.”
The boy left, and I couldn’t help but fall to my knees as I stared at my beautiful bike tainted by this ugly coat of paint.
[[OoC: Post count 1300+ words in this post.]]
This story isn’t about the issues Valo and I have with our father. This story is about how my mother openly welcomed Valo into our household and he stayed with us for a while. During which he played a horrible, unspeakable April Fool’s day prank on me. A prank, that’s repercussions are still felt through the entire time space continuum, and a prank that will never be spoken of again.
Okay, so this story isn’t really about that story, but boy was that a good story. I’m still embarrassed. Maybe I’ll tell you about it later. This story is about now. The present. It is a story about one man’s triumph, and another man’s pain. A story about love, lust, gluttony, and above all else… revenge.
So you already know me, Shugo Yuy. I’ll assume you’ve at least heard of my brother, Valo Morei, as if I haven’t spoken about him enough already? He used to be kind of short, taller than me now but I still call him a midget. He’s a good guy. I trust him with my life, and more importantly the life of my family. Then there’s Jeeves. He’s my butler. We kind of have the whole Batman and Alfred thing going on. Except if Alfred was irritable and hated the world. At least they both sound British? No one really knows where Jeeves is from. All I know is that without him, I wouldn’t be half the man I am now. He’s helped me through my darkest time and acted as my guardian when I need him. To be honest, I think of him as a sort of grandfather, I never met my real grandparents. And finally there’s Shouichi Kanoe. I don’t know if that’s a real name or if he made it up, but he insists that that’s what he wants to be called. He’s a 10 year old orphan here at the Manor. He looks up to me and Valo. Even more than he looks up to us though, he loves to play pranks.
”I dunno Shugo. What you’re asking me to do sounds like a lot of hard work… and we both know how I feel about hard work.”
I sighed. The kid always wanted more, especially when it came to food. That was why I only offered him three of the five candy bars that I had with me. I ran my fingers through my hair and let out an exhausted sigh. I had to act like he was wearing me down. Haggling with a ten year old was nothing compared to the torture of being locked in a cold, damp cell in the dark for three weeks in the dark with one meal and two drinks a week, waiting for the right moment to strike back and attack to regain my freedom. But once again, I digress. That’s another story.
“How about I sweeten the deal for you then?”
I reached into my pocket pulling out another chocolate bar. I waved it around a little bit, as if I was thinking of taking it back. I could have gotten Shouichi to do the work for three, but if I want quality. I had to give him some incentive. I placed the fourth bar down on the table next to others. I could see the boy’s eyes widen and him gulp as he saw the candy. He was hooked, but I knew he would still want more.
”O-only four bars Shugo? Who do you think I am. I’m the Great Shouichi. King of Prankst-“
“Oh there’s more. You’ll get four more bars of chocolate after you’ve done the work.”
If this was a cartoon, his jaw would have hit the floor, and gone through it.
”You’ve got yourself a deal! The Great Shouichi, King of Pranksters! Master of Tricks is on your side!”
I smirked as I walked away from the boy. Maybe I should explain what’s going on a little bit more. Earlier that day, five cans of pink paint went missing. No one knew where they went. After all, I myself was the only one that went into the supply closet that day and everything was there when I went in. I would have seen if someone stole the paint if you catch my drift.
”Sir, don’t you believe that you might be taking this joke a tad far?”
I sighed. Jeeves was always such a sourpuss. He really needed to lighten up and enjoy the day of pranks for once.
“Jeeves. Do you remember April 1st, 2006?”
”Yes of course Sir, that was the year that Valo made you-“
“Never again Jeeves. Never again will I suffer such humiliation. And he moved out the next year so I didn’t even get a chance to prank him back. But this year. He’s going down. Could he please hand me the ¼ inch socket wrench?”
I was lying on my back in blue jeans and a white muscle shirt, working on the plumbing. A suspicious tub of pink liquid was next to me. I would adjust the plumbing so that this specific shower would draw from the tub rather than water reserves. I could hear Jeeves sigh as I continued to work. I think he thought I was crazy for going this far for a joke. But I’m not the crazy one. Oh no. Not me. They’re all the crazy ones. For laughing at me. On that April Fool’s Day. Oh I’ll show them all. Valo was going to look like even more of a fool than I did.
“Jeeves. Did you mix one of the cans in with his laundry?”
Jeeves would once again sigh. I could swear he felt almost ashamed at himself for following along with this. Maybe it was wrong of me to bring Shouichi and Jeeves into this prank… maybe I should have done this on my own… Was it unfair of me to- Oh wait shit. Gotta leave the bathroom. This is around the time that Valo usually goes in for his shower.
So you know that Jeeves mixed paint in with Valo’s laundry so that all of his clothes are pink. You know that I changed the plumbing so that it would spray pink paint all over Valo, turning him pink for a day or two. What you guys don’t know is what Shouichi’s doing with his paint. Well. Valo and I have a pair of motorcycles. Mine was built by a cybernetics and robotics expert back in New York. She’s a genius and my bike is a work of art. Barely needs any maintenance. Valo’s is a highly customized motorcycle developed by the US Government. It’s pretty fancy too. And they’re always parked right next to each other in the garage. So I should have probably seen this coming.
“Shouichi… what did you do to my bike?”
”What do you mean? It’s over there.”
The boy pointed at the other bike in the corner, Valo’s bike. My bike, now painted a bright pink, stood right next to him drying off. I had to admit, he did put on a couple of good even coats of paint. None the less, it was time to yell.
“Shouichi! That’s MY bike!!!”
I could feel my blood boil a bit as my plans fell apart. The boy looked between the two bikes and then did a slight facepalm as if he understood.
”Ohhhhh. Where’s my candy now?”
“LEAVE!”
”Okay, okay. But you’ll be hearing from my attorney.”
The boy left, and I couldn’t help but fall to my knees as I stared at my beautiful bike tainted by this ugly coat of paint.
[[OoC: Post count 1300+ words in this post.]]
