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"Honor your ancestors, in blood."- 'Defiler'[A1i:6] |
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
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Post by Karethas Khellandurn on Mar 19, 2011 16:47:52 GMT -8
(And this'll be one of the rare moments of sanity, the one where he'll finally get out of the apartment I hope. And it's free for anyone to join. Or then I can just write this event quite easily to it's end, if nobody is interested. Possibly revealing some more of the character's past too so i can scribble it into the bio, making things less confusing i hopes.)
At this moment of clarity, he would see the walls painted in his own blood and the gaping wounds on his body that he had inflicted upon himself. He'd scream, yes he would, even if his pain threshold was over any normal readings..
After a while he finally calmed down and looked around this apartment that had formed into being his worst prison after all. He had been locked in here for months, how the hell would he manage to lock himself inside this place, he'd never know.
He knew one way out and it was going to attract attention... But he'd been in this private hell so long that he'd have to get out if he wanted to stay at least the tiniest bit sane.. So he'd get up and look about, recognizing the usual heavy clothes he always had worn, wearing them over his body once again. He already knew that his normal furious attacks wouldn't do against the door, so he hoped that nobody was outside the door of his apartment.
He would proceed to where the cooking ingredients were, pouring lemon and adding salt into his still open wounds, then wrapping some pieces of clothing over them to hold the salt in the wounds. He was finally starting to feel the unimaginable pain that his 'stupid' actions would cause him to feel, but he'd just tell himself that this wasn't enough.. This part that would come now he hated even more than the physical pain.
He closed his eyes, starting to delve deep into his memories, soon finding what he sought, something that would make him lose any and all control over himself as he started thinking the things that happened when he'd come home one day.. The death of his family in the hand of robbers, thugs so to say, perhaps even assassins... It was the very first time he would do this. Seeing all the blood spraying around again and again in his mind he was now sure that- yes there it was the flame that consumes all.
He opened his eyes wide, breathing heavily already as he screamed out, ”THEY ARE DEAD!”, clenching his hands into fists and hammering at the door, that would be one of the thoughts that lasted in his mind, door was the enemy, it must be destroyed.
The door would soon give in and fall outwards with him leaping onto the top of it and keeping up the maddened hammering, now seeing the door as one of the beings that took what little he could ever call 'family' from him. Little did he care that his fists were bloody and that some of his bones were dislocated. He'd keep repeating those words again and again, as if they were the only thing he could hang on to anymore, his mind as bestial as it could ever get.
After this he would possibly stand up and just stare at the skies as the exhaustion would hit him.. The best he could manage was on standing on one knee, sighing softly and looking at the skies still. He thought of how it all went for him to end up here, being like this, he in general didn't really like being insane at all, but it was better than feeling this pain still.
”No way back. Then force your way forward.”
There would be brief pause in his thoughts as he took that moment and smiled, which would seem quite off for anyone that might be present. He was... Alive and his thoughts had left him for that passing moment, he knew it'd bring only more pain once the time he had staying without pain was gone, but perhaps he could handle it... For a day..
(Now I'm off to hit the hay, or then just lay on my back a hour to recover.)
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Post by Lilith LeFleur on Mar 27, 2011 0:55:22 GMT -8
Vial Reflection[/right] Staring back at her in the reflection of the wide based mirror were a pair of cold, dead looking eyes. In fact it was hard to say that they're were any eyes at all, merely the dull empty sockets peering back through the empty slots. A cold sort of cackle reclined back in the slitted features as a pair of bone-like fingers crawled over her chest the same occurring in the reflection on a more fleshy scale. "You're not going to leave are you?"The darkened response formed in a set of narrowed brows, the curvature of lines above the lips as her demonic reflection responded with the lack of words though was satisfied with the sadistic chill that it left running up Lily's spine. Her hands would riled upwards skimping along her tummy and nestling up to cross her chest and grip her shoulders protectively. There wasn't an instant she was able to ever feel alone and that in itself made her feel alienated from everyone who was ever about. In but a few moments she was dressed, a veiled black blouse covering her torso and just barely ending at her upper thigh, while a pair of shredded black ashy jeans rose just beneath the hemline of the blouse. Strapped lightly around her ankles would be a pair of black saddles. A faint gaze to the mirror seeing her reflection grin darkly before being veiled with a curtain and turning about once again to the door. There was nothing to be done of it now. *Click* Behind her the door sealed, and resting her battered weary skull against the outside wall hearing the cataclysm of the world unfold around her.[/ul] (ooc: In the hallways sorta. I'm hoping I have the right idea of the setting if not yeah we'll work on it.)
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"Honor your ancestors, in blood."- 'Defiler'[A1i:6] |
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
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Post by Karethas Khellandurn on Mar 28, 2011 6:10:11 GMT -8
After he'd gotten used to his surroundings turning away from the window nearby that had allowed him to take that pause he needed, by showing him the skies that were always calm to him, no matter how stormy winds might blow outside. However as he turned away from the window to look at the hallway and its happenings, he'd sigh and his smile would be once again gone, his eyes lifeless once again as he gathered his thoughts. The thoughts that came back to him were not so nice at all, this would probably be just another day with no-one noticing him as usual, though breaking the door wasn't the most sneaky thing, but he figured that there were many beings around that could've done the same. The main thought in his mind was however about his ancestors and how would he ever bring glory to the name he'd lost himself.. He might really need to start considering honor a lost cause, a lot like he considered his sanity to be a very lost one as well.
All that aside, the door was still on the floor, bruised and quite battered, but usable, so he lifted it up and put it back to where it used to be, then just checking if he had anything he could smoke after he'd finally go out again, he found... A tobacco roll, that was made from tea leaves, spicy things.. Probably not the healthiest thing, but it did its job as would anything else, so he joined the general public, or at least tried to, heading toward the nearest exit, making mental notes about the beings around him in general, seeking for anything out of ordinary.
”Mmh, it's still trying to draw me into that mess again.. Very malicious of them. Well another day lain to waste then, but at least I've got the thing I need the most for today. I swear, talking to myself ain't the sign for the mentally healthy or was it... Get a hold damned.*Mutter*”
He'd spot one being that he did find interesting on the way out, stopping for a brief while to observe the being that had sparkled his interest, but he considered himself too intimidating of a being to just walk up to the being that was female that seemed like something might have been a bit curious about her, though it was just a wild hunch so he kept moving after that passing moment. He'd made it clear enough that he was curious by stopping and looking in the general direction, that should be enough connection to beings that he didn't want to scare, nor bother too much. If the being would even notice him stopping for that brief while that is and he thought that if they had something to say they'd come to say it later anyhow. After all he wasn't quite sure he could communicate too well with the pain from his wounds now pulsing all around his body, his blood soaking some of the under layers of his clothes, but staying there quite well out of sight, well except for the fact that if he stopped moving for a while, it'd cause the blood to drip from the clothes. However he wasn't too intent on stopping if not distracted from his current objective of getting outside for a brief moment atleast.
While heading out he'd keep thinking his own thoughts, but trying to stay aware enough to notice if anything else would pop up. He'd look at the gloves a while and sigh while walking, all of this was a reminder of his past, that was beyond his reach, oh this would be another one of those great days that just would ignore anything trying to say othervise... Obviously. (In hallways, going toward the nearest exit, the being that he stopped to observe was indeed Lilith, mentioning just to avoid confusion. Hope I'm not being too confusing again.)
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Post by Lilith LeFleur on Mar 28, 2011 13:31:51 GMT -8
Anguish[/right] If not for the heavy throb in the corners of her temples she'd have caught on that someone had been staring at her. She always felt such a feeling as eyes were constantly bore into the back of her skull but this was a very present feeling none too trancestral but very placent. Her eyes unsealed and head turned upwards with slow consideration to the fellow at the door making for a stare. "What're you lookin' at?"She'd speculate with a frenzied tone more speaking to combat the headache than anyone in particular though the apparent scowl never dissipating from her features as she lolled from the weight of the door. A left hand transcending of hold her very unsteady weight from tumbling over, the sense of vertigo in her throat making her want to spit vile words from her lips to cuss the pain away. With the pressed palm to the door she'd sway off uneasily and turning to the hallway with an uneasy pace her stature lopsided and apparenlty uneasy as perhaps a drunk or a sleep deprived person may act. Her saunter so uneasy that upon passing the fellow her left shoulder would make a virulent shove towards his torso before passing him up and taking to the exit. Unless stopped she'd have taken to the bright entrance her eyes quickly veiled by a spread right palm. Once more her stature would falter taking to back into the doorway and lean against the inner right wall out of linear context with the sunlight.[/ul]
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"Honor your ancestors, in blood."- 'Defiler'[A1i:6] |
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
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Post by Karethas Khellandurn on Mar 28, 2011 14:48:26 GMT -8
"What're you lookin' at?"
He would seem not to hear that as he made his way still towards the door, but he did react to the shove, instead of turning with it he'd just let it connect with his torso, if just to help keep the being that passed by up a while longer. He'd smile quietly as the pain quite reminded him that he wasn't doing so great himself at the current moment. However he did observe the being long enough to notice that she wasn't doing too well. He was no hero nor a nice guy, but he did consider this situation a bit more curious than his smoke and getting outside.. This wasn't going to turn out too well, at least he thought so as he turned around and decided to see where'd this go. He'd finally decide to communicate through something else than the usual silent look.
"At the current moment.. I'm looking at another being that is unknown to me.
His voice was calm even if he was feeling somewhat like just laying down and staying down was a good idea, as he walked to where the being was now, however stopping at a safe distance, mainly to show that he wasn't going to attack or do anything otherwise harmful either. After he'd stop he'd just stand there a moment to recollect his thoughts on what was his plan for today anyhow and how to not appear as intimidating as he usually did. He did not seem affected by the earlier frenzied tone he'd been talked to with a few moments before.
"But I would wish to not leave this being without aid, if you wouldn't mind my assistance for the moment?"
He'd wonder why would he even bother to ask, he'd probably just get shouted at again, but well it was worth it and then he'd at least offered the being his assistance. He'd look at his feet and notice a few drops of blood there, his own, it'd make him let out a silent sigh at seemingly nothing in particular, before looking up at the being again. His somewhat lifeless eyes finally focusing a bit more on what was before him, but not much still, just so that he could stay up with what was happening around him so he could react if needed.
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Post by Lilith LeFleur on Mar 28, 2011 15:57:34 GMT -8
Misconceptions[/right] "At the current moment.. I'm looking at another being that is unknown to me.Her eyes narrowed in irritated slits, the measure in which he spoke was like a computer analytically taking measurements as to the grammatical correctness as well as ensuring he was decisively correct in making such assumptions. Nobody spoke like that, specially not around these parts even a head case of damaged goods like her could make that connection. She'd scrawl her skull bridging taut index fingers to each side of her head massaging the tense temples and finding the weight in her hips dragging her down. Not a force she could have fought but rather a mental weight that edged her further into the comfortable position finding her body slide down the wall without disruption slowly inclining till she sagged against the wall with a patient breath. "But I would wish to not leave this being without aid, if you wouldn't mind my assistance for the moment?"She heard his tone but it was in paced measurements, first true as it was then mirrored once more in a deeper pitch, then higher, and once again mirrored. 'You're weak.... get help...' She'd hear as the voice behind her eyelids coaxed perking the headache to new heights as she bit down at the corner of her cheek turning the pain into another direction of her focus. Her hands would slide unabated into her pockets and draw forth a large pair of deep purple sunglasses and slip them off veiling guilt ridden hues then turning them onto the subject. "Fuck off.."The words spat in a weakened tone before urging to push herself upwards aided by a nearly invisible shadow that crept behind her pace patiently forming a very similar figure that merely kept idle watch on their company as Lilith turned her back to walk into the sunlight pausing for a brief moment before teetering off to the busy complex pausing briefly as though the sun marred her steps.[/ul]
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"Honor your ancestors, in blood."- 'Defiler'[A1i:6] |
PLAYED BY OOC NAME
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Post by Karethas Khellandurn on Mar 29, 2011 2:26:32 GMT -8
He would observe her behaviour after talking to her, seeing that something was a bit off with her, probably she was in pain, but he’d stay put until he’d hear her out fully. After a while his observation however came to the end as the being did seem to mind his help after all, not that he’d mind at all the words that he heard. He never seemed to be affected by the way he was treated, seeming completely fine with it, after all it was just another way of saying no.
"Fuck off.."
To this he would just smile in his usual strange way as he heard the words, concentrating once again on his thoughts, that told him that this probably would’ve been the obvious answer he’d receive. He’d close his eyes for a moment and just nod after a while at the being, his interaction with her would come to it’s end as he thought. he wasn’t that intent on intruding on someone who didn’t wish his aid.
“As you wish being, I might be outside for now, should you change your mind. Fare thee well ‘till we meet again. Wish you will find a cure for what is hurting you.”
He replied still in the way he talked before, his face blank as it was before, his lifeless eyes looking at the being as it made its way away from him and to some other place, wherever would they be. He thought it might be better to leave the being with her thoughts, there'd be something to alert him if he was needed anyhow. He’d turn away and start walking toward the exit to outside again, leaving the pool of blood that had formed onto the floor as the only reminder of that he ever was there. He’d grin at the wounds some when he was sure nobody could see his face for the moment, not the nicest feeling, but it did remind him of being alive. He didn't have much choice in his wording as his mind tried to constantly trick him into causing misery instead of helping anyone. After a while he sighed, how empty could words become when he knew that the pain would not go away with just words, not after the mental instability had gotten as far as it had gone with him.
After getting outside finally he was blinded for a moment as the sun light hit his eyes, he'd feel better for the brief moment, before remembering everything that he'd done, perhaps it was better for him to be in pain after all. He took the thing he'd rolled from the stuff he had and lit it, then inhaling deeply from it to regain some of his composure. He walked slowly to the nearest shadowy spot that looked unoccupied to continue his thinking and smoking.
Remorse, was what he felt, not from the recent encounter he had with a being that at least appeared to be in pain to him, after all it was something he couldn't help, but this remorse was something a lot more familiar. He'd felt it before, another thing that'd hurt like hell. He'd been thinking about the feeling of it, about his past, until now he could not figure out what was it that made him feel like that, he'd felt like his pain was only from his insanity.. When in truth he was the cause of his own remorse.
Perhaps they had their own families to take care of, he shouldn't have, but was taking care of their own families worth his one dying in their hands. Was his frenzied vengeance that caused the end of their lives justified? Perhaps it wasn't, but in the eyes of his other side, it was so very justified. After all, their lives for the lives of his family, however, he had this feeling that he would someday go back to seek out their families and do the same that had been done to him... He'd already given them time to prepare, time that the dearest beings he held close never had before they died. There was no way they'd ever known about the robbery that turned into slaughter when his father had tried to save the rest of his family.. Perhaps he'd hunt them down to the last drop of blood, until the feeling that he had now would go away.
He'd close his eyes and sigh deeply, before opening his eyes again. He'd never forget, he'd never forgive, but he would not kill either, for now. Once his eyes had cleared from the slightly red mist that had risen to block his sight for a while he'd shake his head at his thoughts, they contradicted with each other even more than he thought it possible. How would it bring honor to his family to kill.. It'd not bring them back either.
Even if slaughter would make him satisfied, it wouldn't be what they'd want to happen. He'd soon just drop the thoughts for a while so he could lean against a wall and relax, enjoying his somewhat curious cigarette, regaining the absent smile that seemed to lurk onto his face when he was alone, at least he could still decide his own actions to some extent.
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