Shattered heart [Invite only]

[seishounohana]

This is a post-rape thread. >_>; This event occurs just as soon as Emily lets "Unfettered" go.

Tears were raining down Emily's face.

How could she do what she had just done? To someone she considered to be her most important person, too. She trekked in a slow walk towards her sister's house, her eyes blurry and red from crying excessively; stumbling and ignoring the help that was occassionally offered to her by strangers as she walked on.

She couldn't stop crying even if she wanted to.

Emily shouldn't even feel this way; she wanted it. She had wanted this. She planned this for so long, but why does she feel so much regret and hate?

Though Emily's mind continued on suffering, she walked on until she approached the gate of Drea's house, knocking softly as she didn't have enough energy (or oxygen) to even try to notice that there was a doorbell just beside her.

All the sound that could be heard was the cries of her sister, calling out her name. "D-drea..."

[Drea]

Drea was hanging out with one of the new friends that she'd made at the school when a maid knocked on her door.

"Come in," Drea called out, wondering what the problem was... For she doubted that a servant would bother her otherwise, especially since they'd already been supplied with snacks. The door swung open and the maid, looking a bit nervous, entered.

"Miss Amelia, there's someone at the door..."

Drea raised an eyebrow. That was interesting. It must not be a guest of her parents if the servants had come to her... But the maid's nervous state suggested something was out of place.

"Alright," Drea said, standing. She quickly twisted her hair up into a loose bun and left the room. The maid closed the door behind her before following her to the entryway. Several servants were clustered around the door, murmuring.

But... As soon as Drea heard it - "D-drea..." - she acted.

"Get back to work!" she immediately snapped at everyone. Her eyes would be more concerned than angry. She wasn't one to scold, so the servants knew it was serious. Drea practically flew down the stairs, wrenching the door open when she got to it.

She was appalled to see her sister in the sorry state that she was. Her clothes were mussed, her eyes were red, and her face absolutely absolved into the sorrow that she was helplessly expressing.

Immediately, Drea knelt, sorrow welling up in her own stomach. She lifted Emily by the arms, carefully drawing her into the mansion. Not wanting to disturb her friend - and also wanting to keep her from seeing her sister in such a disgraceful state - Drea drew her sister into a spare room. She led her sister to a bed and moved to shut the door. A maid handed her a basket and promptly rushed away.

Drea took one of the soft handkerchiefs in the basket and pressed it against her sister's face to wipe away some of the tears.

"What happened?" she asked, concerned.

[Kevala Badoer]

Kev had been at Drea's house, ranting about her frustration over the whole Gabriel situation. She was so torn up inside about it all, yet the thought of walking away from him was something she did not even entertain. She had tried it once and failed miserably.

She was not going to be leaving his side any time soon. But still, it was nice to get it off her chest sometimes. Though who she told was very very selective. Drea being one of two people she trusted with such information.

She was just starting to calm down from said rant when Drea the knock to the door came.

Kevala raising her brow........not because of the knock, but because there were such strange emotions coming from somewhere in the house or at least near it.

Usually she could not feel them that far away, but they were so strong, so....painful, that she could not help it. They tore at her own heart and caused her to run her hand over her stomach.

She did not know what was going on but it was something serious. She had planned on staying in the room and waiting. But she was a curious creature, and she needed to find out who was hurting so badly. Surely it was not Mitsu or somebody she knew.

She could not bare to think of somebody she cared about having to suffer such emotions. She knew them too well. It was a breaking heart......pain, agony, longing...all of it ..........

Pushing herself up to stand she would move to the door. Pulling it open and then making her way down to the front door. Eyes falling over the scene and instantly her own worry filling her.

To see Emily in such a state scared her. She did not know what could have happened, but she did not feel that interrupting at this point would be a very good idea.

She would instead move closer to the two and offer a small nod in Drea's direction. She was going to remain silent for now. But she was not leaving. Somebody she cared about was hurting and she would do anything she could to help.

Leaning back against the wall, crimson hues scanned over the pair. Her anger up as the thought entered her mind of somebody possibly hurting her friend. Not like she could do much, but she could make sure that eventually whoever it was paid.

But she would have to wait and see what really was going on. Kev was never one to jump to conclusions. Though in her already unstable emotional state...somebody dying sounded like a good idea.

[seishounohana]

Emily sobbed hysterically, mumbling apologies and choking on her own tears and coughing. She was taken immediately somewhere inside Drea's house; but that didn't matter to her.

All she could feel was a torrent of emotions she couldn't control; breaking her, tearing her soul and conscience apart. It was then when she finally noticed Drea's voice. It calmed her a bit; not enough to stop her tears from flowing, but enough for her to have slightly coherent thoughts.

"He hates me... he hates me..." She mumbled repeatedly to herself, "It's all my fault... he hates me..."

And she sobbed again.

What the heck was going on?

[Drea]

She frowned when Kevala entered the room. She was uncomfortable. Her sister was being vulnerable, and Kevala was seeing it. Drea didn't like that. At all... But Kevala wasn't doing anything, and logically, Emily was friends with her, too.

Drea shot a glare towards her friend, even as she decided to leave her along unless Emily either got worse or felt threatened.

Speaking of her sister...

"He hates me... he hates me..." Emily mumbled repeatedly to herself, "It's all my fault... he hates me..."

Drea narrowed her eyes. Who hated her?

She put her arms around her sister, holding her close. She didn't know who, exactly, it was that her sister had wronged, but she did know that this person must be very important to her sister for that sort of response to come out.

"Who?" she asked calmly, doing her best to tuck Emily into her protective embrace. Surely not Kazuya...?

[Kevala Badoer]

Kevala knew she was unwelcome here, but she also knew that Emily was her friend and she would stay until she knew what was wrong or until Emily told her to leave.

Then Emily spoke and Kev would raise her brow. She was not sure who Emily was speaking of, but she was also sure that Em was not one to go thinking something like this without there being a just reason behind it.

She would wait for a moment and then speak up. Softly, almost a cooed reply. Trying to let her emotions come through her tone to try and sooth the girl.

"Emily. Try to breath. What happened? What did you do?"

She knew well that Emily must have done something. Or else nobody would be hating her. The question was....what?

[seishounohana]

"Who?"

"Emily. Try to breath. What happened? What did you do?"

And even though these two friends of hers were doing their best to calm her down, tears streamed down Emily's face like a waterfall. There were no words to quell her growing insecurity, not to mention the ever flowing torrent of regret that haunted her being.

Always have to do things that she regretted, right?

Staying in the Correctional Facility of her own free will...

Failing to protect 259 from Linda and the other Dragons when she was Captain...

... and now this.

Emily burst into more tears, unsure about how to explain this to Kevala and Drea.

Her face was covered by her hair, hiding the shame that she masked with several layers of self-hate and pity. Of course, like many people within 259, Emily was a wreck by all means. Maybe a bit worse than some, maybe a bit less than others.

But in essence, Emily was weak... and here, she was showing her most vulnerable side. There was paranoia, fear, and rejection...

"... I v-violated him... "Unfettered"... I... hurt him... I- I.... I'm a horrible person!"

[Drea]

Even as she shot Kev another glare as she spoke, she realized her friend's question was a good one. Of course, she wasn't in any state to care. Her sister was currently her first and only priority. Everything else could, quite honestly, happily go to hell.

"... I v-violated him... "Unfettered"... I... hurt him... I- I.... I'm a horrible person!" her sister managed to say through her tears.

Drea grabbed another handkerchief to wipe away the flood. Who or what the fuck was an Unfettered? And where was it? Drea was going to kill it.

"Who is Unfettered?" she asked instead, having decided that it was a person from Emily's "him" comment.

She... Drea was pissed. Whatever this Unfettered was, it had caused her sister pain. For that, he would pay.

[Kevala Badoer]

She would let her hand come up and cover her eyes slightly. She had some clue what was going on here......And it was not good. She would sigh. Still not daring to go near the girl because she did not really want Drea knocking the shit out of her.

"Emily....please..you have to calm down...."

Her tone soft...a cooed response to try and settle the girls nerves...her emotions making Kevs stomach turn....

"Please....What exactly did you do to him sweetie? Did you...did you do what I have a very bad feeling you did?"

She could guage from the girls words already the answer to this question, but she had to ask. She only hoped it would not be true. Not only for the sake of the man, but for the sake of Emily. She had a feeling that this was going to be a breaking point for the girl and she could not stand to see her friend go through this.

[seishounohana]

Who was "Unfettered"?

Would Emily describe him to be the man who she had unconditionally loved and followed without question to the point of her being this way or would she describe him as the cause of her being this way because she had loved him the way she did?

Even though both of them were similar in context; by deeper interpretation, one of them would be pointing fingers at "Unfettered" as the sole cause of this, when in truth Emily had brought herself this pain.

She knew it was coming.

And yet, she had hoped for an alternate ending - a happier one, at least for her. But then again you could consider her life story; it never exactly worked that way.

And Kevala asks her to calm down; that was too late, my friend... especially since it would be this moment where either Drea or Kevala would notice that Emily's lips and fingernails were slowly turning blue. Emily's tears stopped momentarily as she finally lost control of her lungs.

She gasped for air.

"D-Drea... I need... my meds..." Then her eyes went over to Kevala, "I need... a ballpoint pen... any..." a breath. "... thing... " Another breath. "... with a hollow... space..."

One word.

Pneumothorax.

[Drea]

Drea's eyes widened as her sister's breathing suddenly stopped. It had been quickening so to have it pause so quickly... Was startling.

Uncertain eyes watched as Emily struggled to breathe.

"D-Drea... I need... my meds..." her sister told her.

Elise and the others had told her not to let Emily have her medication. That Emily was addicted. But, as Drea released her sister to dart to her room, she didn't give a damn. At this point, it didn't matter. If they helped her sister breathe... Then she could slowly attempt to wean her sister off of them. But...

Emily had stopped breathing.

And that scared her more than anything. She'd finally found her sister again - they'd only just met once more! She couldn't stand losing her.

Drea slammed into her room, grabbing a small bag from a drawer in a desk before turning to run back to the guest room. The servants, however, surprised, said nothing.

She grabbed a water bottle from a passing servant - she was delivering a bunch to the kitchen from storage - and quickly moved over to her sister. She opened the water bottle, setting the Diazepam that she'd once used before her sister.

"Here," she spoke quietly despite her wide eyes. "Take it."

[Kevala Badoer]

Kevala watched as all this unfolded. Unsure how to react to this. Part of her was torn for that which her friend suffered. But at the same time, she knew that somebody had to remain calm.

As Emily turned to her, asking for a pen, she would hurry to pull one from her back pocket, moving over to the girl as Drea ran to gather the meds.

Taking Emily's hand and placing the pen in it. She had a feeling where this was going and it was not going to be pretty.

She knew the emotions flooding from this woman and they were ones that even Kevala herself had not experienced. ( Yet )

Closing the girl's hand around the pen she would speak softly.

"It is going to be okay. We are here. "

Soft words spoken before she moved out of the way to allow Drea access to her sister once more upon her return. Setting the meds down Kevala would wait.

Yes, this was only going to get worse. She knew that but there was nothing she could do but be here for Emily when she needed her.

[seishounohana]

Emily gasped for air, knowing that one lung wasn't capable of supplying her with the oxygen her body needed to function. Slow, non-exhausting deep breaths were taken as she grabbed the pen from Kevala's hand, pulling out the contents to leave the clear cylinder intact until she broke it into two.

Her face already blue with the lack of treasured oxygen, Emily would pull her shirt up to do something rather reckless. After a quick count of her ribs for anatomical accuracy, Emily would stab herself with the sharp edges of the broken piece of plastic. It was then a bloody gush of wind pulled out of the cylinder.

An Emergency airway? Emily must've had a particularly cool head to go through this.

A trademark of her own expertise and genius.

... but.

She chuckled to herself darkly, as she leaned against the wall. Her hands stained with blood reached for the tablets that Drea had set nearby and pulled them into her mouth to swallow.

Regardless, she still wouldn't stop crying.

"All... the mastery of the human body, and yet... I couldn't stop myself from hurting him." She mumbled to herself. "I'm... sorry for troubling you, but I will say everything."

Emily's expression was blank, but her eyes were full of regret and sorrow. The medicine was kicking in quickly, but Emily was too used to a high dose, and the effectivity was then cut off by a certain degree.

It couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

""Unfettered" winters... was a gang leader who I served under. I was loyal to him, and like most girls would: I eventually fell for him." She took a breath. "He... was brilliant... with charms to boot; Empathetic and passionate. He was someone I wished to please anyway I knew how but..."

...

Emily looked away towards the window, a small smile in her face to mask the pain she was still feeling; not from the hole she created from the earlier pneumothorax, but rather from what she had done, and what she knew could happen because of it.

"... He said that he couldn't love me back. He couldn't even look at me."

...

"... so I raped him. I took him against his will, rationalizing it with the idea that if what I felt for him was mere lust, that it would disapppear..."

She laughed darkly.

"... but it didn't."

"I could not sleep."

"I could not eat."

"... I could not forgive myself for what I did to him, and for what I was able to do for my own selfish desires."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "My body is satisfied, but my heart feels... like..." Emily would take her bloodied hand, grasping her shirt by the hest. "... like it barely exists. It was... just like when I lost Nadeshiko-kaasan... Ranmaru-tousan... Shinichi-san..."

...

[Drea]

Drea flinched at the blow her sister dealt to herself, feeling her stomach rolling at the blood that came forth from the self-inflicted hole. She kept herself from gagging. Barely.

Her sister, still bleeding, began to speak. As she listened, Drea handed her sister a fresh handkerchief, not wanting to get too close in case she did something that would hurt her more than it would help her. Still, she smiled at her sister in an accepting manner to indicate that she held no malice towards her sister for her actions though she realized that they would weigh heavily on them both.

For one thing, this had given her a rather painful awakening.

Emily was no saint. While she knew it, she'd wanted to keep herself from realizing it. But... Now it was quite obvious, and it had been made so in a way that she couldn't ignore. Emily was as human as the rest of them and she hurt and she was hurt at far greater extremes than most. Certainly in greater extremes than Drea.

But though she realized this, Drea's love and affection and unconditional support for her sister didn't cease at all. Rather, she grew to dislike this "Unfettered" Winters person if only for existing to make her sister hurt this way.

In fact, as her sister's own sobbing explanation continued, Drea realized that dislike might be too weak of a word. She might be thinking more along the lines of hate.

The second matter, though, was a bit more selfish and personal. As Emily named off those that she had lost, Drea felt pangs of pain hitting her own heart. Her own personal feelings of failure, really. Her sister had suffered so much more than she...! Although inaccurate - for they had suffered equally in different forms - she truly felt that her sister had suffered more than she. Heartbreak and guilt, losses and pains both mental and physical... Drea felt that she could never compare and felt guilt because of it.

She sighed softly as her sister closed her eyes. She was probably exhausted. How merciful it would be if the other girl could just sleep... But that wasn't possible. Not with the wound she had and the state she was in.

"Don't sleep," she said softly, placing a hand on Emily's bloodied pair. "Not yet," she said. At least, not until she figured out what to do about that injury in her chest.

[Kevala Badoer]

Kevala honestly did not know what to say or do in that moment. She did not flinch at the self inflicted wound, having known it was coming and honestly, not seeing it as that big of a deal...pain wise that is. Kev did worse to herself many times in the past.

Then the explanation started and Kevala would simply lean back against the wall and brush her tongue over her lips. She had never really met this Unfettered person, nor had she heard much about him. But she knew the feelings Emily spoke of, she knew the longing, the desire to have the one person who did not want you.

Was that not what the situation was between Gabriel and Kevala?

But there was one major difference....Gabriel in some way returned her feelings. Not much, and not nearly as much as Kevala loved him, but he had kissed her, he held her, he spoke of being with her forever.

She did not know what she would do if she lost him. If he turned away from him and vowed to never be able to look upon her. It would destroy her, she knew that...and could only feel pain for Emily and her situation.

Finally she would speak, a soft sound that was still let forth in that comforting tone she was so good at using when the situation called for it.

"We must get her to the hospital."

This time directing her comment to Drea. Unable to really think of what to say to Em. Honestly the words running through her mind were best saved for another time and another place.

Perhaps when the girl was back to whatever bit of normality she could find after such an act. Kevala had always known Emily had a darker side to her, though compared to some it was not as great, but it was there none the less.

Kev knew all too well how it felt to have to come to grips with what you did when those moments overtook you. You never got over them, you changed from them and you suffered forever. She only hoped that the suffering Emily suffered would not be too great......but she doubted it.....If she did something like that to Gabriel, it would haunt her til the day she died.