Character Critique (Emily/Kyle)

[Emily Suddenfield]

So I've seen this on a ton of boards over the years and I'd love more info here.

If you guys have feedback, good, bad or mixed I'd like to hear it.

Some things I'm currently working on (For Emily):

1: Making her less robotic, more human/identifiable. It's a slow process, as she's meant to be cold, standoffish, challenging (For those who remember Saya, they have similar personalities) but I'm trying to show more of her excitement with fighting, as well as her reasons for being that way. See this thread for a starters, and this thread if you're really interested in knowing her deeply. The second one will be updated continually.

2: Getting rid of her infallibility. This is something I've struggled with in all my characters over the years (as many of you know). Believe it or not, this irritates me, and I think I tend to try and fix the problems eventually, especially when I notice it is one.

3: Trying to actually....y'know....write. I've gotten very sloppy and lazy with writing for her, keeping things short and rather bland. I'll be actually getting more in touch with Emily, trying to really understand her and make her understand herself. That way my muse will build a little more with her.

Anyway, I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts, even if they pertain to the above! Kyle is another Work in Progress, but one I'm content to develop far more slowly than her, but would also welcome feedback. Thanks!

[Violet Lockheart]

I actually think you're spot on with your own criticism and doing very well with the appropriate paths. Nothing changes like night/day so a slow progression is the right way to go about it 10/10. I'd love to run development with both the characters obviously, you mentioned a few things where you like to go with Emily now I'm just on pins and needles for Kyle

Avidly awaiting her date with Richard -cough-

["Wren"]

-chinhands-

Corey

My guy

Broski

I gotchu.

Writing Resource Master-Post

Anyone feel free to click that link, its incredibly helpful from one writer to another.

NOW FOR MY PERSONAL FEELINGS. Corey;

You are a great writer.

Emily is a new character for you. She's an unfamiliar skin. The disconnect you might be feeling is that you're trying to write as you used to with characters like David, putting similar thoughts into a head that might not want them. She acts strong because she is strong, she's the Captain of 259 for chrissake, that is an earned thing! In our thread I saw some little chinks on her armour; uncertainty, even genuine bewilderment that her actions had consequences. That is some eye-opening, humanizing shit, and honestly not what I expected (but i love it I do).

The character will evolve at their own pace. They always do. Find a character questionnaire somewhere on the interwebs and ask her questions. Feel her out as an individual. What does she see, what does she hear, how does she process it?

I get where you're coming from, I have to struggle to not make Wren the way I made Delilah, which was just... WELL SHE WAS A LOT BETTER AS A CHARACTER AFTER THE WORLD ENDED IMO. Wren in the old story was a foil to Del, a pessimist who would always question what Del was doing with great skepticism and sarcasm, make her think, make her reconsider. Now that she's a genuine character in her own right, I have to remind myself that, no, Wren has no fighting skill whatsoever and while she has a few talents and strengths, she considers most of them a chore, she doesn't know 27365873 languages, can't play any instruments (except the triangle,) and is generally unkind and, at best, blunt.

The thing that helps me when I get too wrapped up in my character is to remind myself to not take them seriously. The character can take themselves seriously, Wren sure does, but if you take them too seriously, you won't be able to enjoy their evolution and they'll feel stale. Let them grow, let them respond, let them fall flat on their face, let them triumph! Take your writing seriously, sure, but not your character. That's a one way ticket to hurt feelings if someone acts pettily IC (I've never seen this be an issue with you, but I've felt that STAB OF INDIGNATION a couple times. Takes a lot to get over) and letting it over lap into OOC.

One of the best examples I have of this is Raj. You remember, he played Marcus Prasad? Think about the way he wrote just to have fun, and the character wound up being very multifaceted. Mikey is known for this style too, actually; think about Tuvlan. Remember how many times Unfettered got his ass handed to him? Or Thrush? And who could forget the Man Who Must Not Be Named?

SEXUALLY =D?!

The best character growth happens when you're having fun. Just chill bro! You got this. You are a very good writer and you have a great basis for two characters. The story is just taking off. Don't fret so much. Just find yo chill and have some fun with it. Remember, most of us are playing kids.

-HUGS-

[Emily Suddenfield]

Took me forever to say, but thanks so much for this! It's not that I'm worried I'm doing bad, just that i want to always believe i can be better. So, I like constructive criticism to grow