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Post by Mathew Amtrum on Mar 30, 2018 19:59:10 GMT -8
"Describe what you feel. It has a personality, quirks. By sharing them you can put them into words, and through words you can solidify them. That is your foundation."
Charging Dragon Statue
Qi use 1
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Post by Avice Locke on Mar 30, 2018 20:42:58 GMT -8
"I feel like it is vast and dark. But I want to float and let it wash me up someplace far away." She furrowed her brow. "I'd welcome it but when might I end up there and where would it be? What if I don't like the road I've traveled and the choices I've made." Despite the calm, she felt she was peeling away into some deep fears. Fears that have forced her to move on always finding something better. Something more, it was never enough. Always moving thinking people will grow tired of her and kicking her out on the street again.
"I'm okay... I'm listenin'." If she was talking about It, Herself, or Eric it would have to be all of the above. It flowed up her spine as if it was a cat brushing against her back. "I've been denyin' it an' not understandin' it. All it e'er wanted was to be seen for what it was. Without expectin' some kinda back'and. Timid, defensive, guarded... feels curious. Unlike me, it likes to be comforting. It cares more than I like to admit."
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Post by Mathew Amtrum on Mar 30, 2018 20:49:31 GMT -8
"Everyone has roads they would not travel down if they could go back. We can not change the past but we can accept what the past has made us today. Mistakes and all. Do not be afraid to let your power carry you. Follow it if it wishes, it knows what it wants to show you."
He'd slowly walk around the tree to wind up on the other side of Avice.
"You are in pain, if it wishes to comfort you, let it. This is the path you wish now is it now? A path to allow your power to return, or substitute what was lost."
Charging Dragon Statue
Qi use 1
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Post by Avice Locke on Mar 30, 2018 21:19:51 GMT -8
"I ne'er wanted power..." She shook her head. "I only e'er wanted an adventure. A story to tell someone else." she lifted her body upright. And yes she meant anyone who'd listen to a good story. She wanted to share a story she thought was worth telling over and over again seeing the light in others eyes filled with wonder and excitement. "I ne'er 'ad anythin' to lose and I've always been lost. I suppose with that said why not let it take me? Am nothin', got nothin'... shouldn't be afraid of nothin' Aye?"
She let her energy swirl about freely to imagine it taking her someplace.
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Post by Mathew Amtrum on Mar 30, 2018 21:26:06 GMT -8
"Power comes in many forms and in many uses. But to count yourself as nothing is a disservice. I myself do not hail from a grand lineage, but I have achieved many things that were beyond the scope of my birth. With determination that can be you as well."
He couldn't imagine anyone not wanting to achieve great things in some way shape or form. Who would want to be in the shadows of mediocracy? No one that he'd ever really associated with in the past. That was for sure.
"Let it take you not because you think you are nothing and have nothing to lose. There is always something to lose. But, rather, let it take you to find where it leads."
For him he'd say to overcome what it threw at him. But this seemed like an approach more relatable to her.
Charging Dragon Statue
Qi use 1
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Post by Avice Locke on Mar 30, 2018 22:08:42 GMT -8
She could feel herself already getting to that point as she was being pulled away from the firm ground... from certainty was more accurate. Something did make sense from Eric's voice. She didn't want to think of herself as "nothing" but with her current mood and missing her limbs she just really felt like some kind of crippled lump of flesh that was rotting away. She hadn't made it to the end of her journey but she was being refused to continue and with what? She realized just how much she didn't have when she was losing parts of herself.
She had no goal, no ambition, she never wanted to be the best, and she hadn't had felt much other than sheer seconds of success and triumphs when she won. And Losing her job made her truly feel like it never fucking mattered. All these beat sticks at Cabal could throw her around and dice her up all to make her realize she had gotten nowhere in the years she had this power.
Her heartbeat spiked and as she was stuck visualizing her Qi she felt an oncoming storm that threatened to swallow her as the calm and loving stream began to almost feel like it was about to attack her again.
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Post by Mathew Amtrum on Mar 31, 2018 18:07:35 GMT -8
"Where has it taken you? What has it guided you too?"
Charging Dragon Statue
Qi use 4
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Post by Avice Locke on Mar 31, 2018 19:04:54 GMT -8
"I don't know yet." She was still floating and it felt a bit rough. It wasn't an attack earlier it as waiting to see if she'd chicken out and swim back to shore. But she really would have no idea where it would take her.
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Post by Mathew Amtrum on Mar 31, 2018 19:17:06 GMT -8
He nodded and would retreat back to give her breathing room to continue along the path. He could only guide her so much, he could not peer into her mind and see what she saw. And he'd not force her to go faster if he could. The downsides of such an approach far outweighed any positive to it. Only a fool would try to run before learning to crawl. It was a steady foundation that built a lasting structure, and Qi was the structure of the soul.
Charging Dragon Statue
Qi use 5
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Post by Avice Locke on Mar 31, 2018 20:15:22 GMT -8
She waited and waited. She tried to look across and look over mentally searching for a path in sight. Seeing nothing but a vast grey scenery. her Qi and such remained unchanged.
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Post by Mathew Amtrum on Apr 1, 2018 18:09:47 GMT -8
He waited a while longer before placing a hand on her shoulder to signal her to return to reality.
"That's enough for now. You've made progress."
She may not know it, but today she had achieved more than most people achieve in their whole life. She had made first contact, and she had begun to walk the path that it wanted her to follow. It would take time, but she would learn to harness and control her Qi, and then when she could guide and shape it, she would likely find a way to have her limbs return to her in some fashion. He had seen far stranger things from Qi, and he had achieved much with his own. He had confidence that with dedication and fortitude that she could follow that same path.
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Post by Avice Locke on Apr 1, 2018 21:06:51 GMT -8
Her eyes shot open and that was disorienting she felt like she got off a boat after hours of it rocking about. Her lips pressed into a thin line disappointed in the way it had to be. She let out a heavy sigh, she realized something now that that mind trip was over.
"Hm... I'm not sure I know where I want to end up. Where I want to be." she met his gaze and pointed to him. "If you tell anyone how I acted today... Ya can bet there be retribution and ya won't see it comin'." No one saw her soft spots. No one peeled away her weakness. No one would hear her sound so pitiful and pathetic. She gritted her teeth realizing and regretting the things she said already. A heavy rock felt like it settled in her stomach knowing it was the truth though. She had no goals for her life she really hardly knew much about herself to understand what she wanted out of it. She just saw the past and how it made her hard and untrusting and how she had put up these defenses to keep people at a distance because that was how it stopped people from taking advantage of those weaknesses.
She lowered her gaze and dropped her finger from him the scowl on her face was mostly for herself than anything. Often times she stayed alone so she didn't have to be depended on or have someone else to depend on. She couldn't lose anyone or anything if she never had any of it, to begin with. For the hard and angry facade, she truly was just scared.
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Post by Mathew Amtrum on Apr 3, 2018 16:22:17 GMT -8
"I think you forget, I am the one that wants no one to know what we are doing here."
Her threat was fairly empty. He had no intention of spilling her secrets to anyone, or any interest in it for that matter. Still, it was obviously just her lashing out, likely embarrassed. She'd have to get over it though, this was the first step on a long journey and if she stopped now because she felt silly or stupid or weak then she would continue to languish.
"I will walk you back."
He'd offer a hand out to her, offering to lift her up and help her back into her chair. She had something to reflect and think on now. And in a way, so did he.
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Post by Avice Locke on Apr 3, 2018 21:12:14 GMT -8
"Aye... And thanks" she shrugged. "For provin' me wrong and showin' me somethin' neat." he took time out of hus day to "get her back on her feet" so to say. Honestly she couldn't be ungrateful or too angsty even after he shoved her out of her chair. It was more than she expected anyone would give to her. He could have requested a new partner but he didnt. she'd put faith in a notion like this if nothing else.
She'd be silent taking his hand if nothing else came about and that she could accept. She would allow his help into her chair.
As they would travel on their way back to Cabal she would already be pensive. Thinking deeply on what she just saw and how she felt. She needed to answer something's for sure and not exactly sure where to start. She kind of wished she knew someone who knew her inside and out. And she couldn't think of anyone like that. But her heart fluttered warmly in her chest. Like baby fingers gently tapping. Seems like maybe her Qi really had the answers and Avice needed just to ask the right questions.
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Post by Mathew Amtrum on Apr 4, 2018 16:25:57 GMT -8
"That is the crux of the lesson. There is always something to learn."
For all of his experience, he did not have all of the answers yet either. He doubted he ever would. There was always another question popping up, it was the kind of thing that could take a lifetime or two to master completely. He didn't know if he had that, his time was borrowed in a way, and there was no telling on how long that time would be. Or if it could even push him past regular human lifespans. Because of that, he chose not to worry about such things, and instead use the time he had with purpose and dedication.
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