The Legend of Link! (Open)

[Link]

Link would jump in between Val and Triton.

"I-I think there has been some miscommunication happening here. Triton, buddy, what Val here was trying to say was maybe he find us some good deals to get some food and drink for cheap."

After all, that's what getting the hook up is, right?

[Valerian Blackburn]

"What?"

Valerian's surprised at this sudden aggression from the blue man, and takes a step back.

"What!?"

He looks even more alarmed that not even the elf knew what he was talking about.

"No! I meant, I was gonna get you guys laid."

[Triton Augustus]

The islander's fist lowered and his scales softened. "Hm. I see. My apologies, Valerian."

As the rage that once began to fill him slipped back into its lair, confusion took its place. "You.. wish to.. lay us down? I am unsure of what your meaning behind this is, friend."

[Link]

Link would also tilt his head.

"Get... laid? I don't understand."

What could he possibly be talking about...

[Valerian Blackburn]

Valerian squints at them both.

They... they couldn't be serious...

"...have you two...never... been with a woman?"

Well. Link was kinda cute.

"...or a man?"

[Triton Augustus]

What did this man mean to say? Perplexity, as if a ghastly parasite, latched onto Triton's mind.

"Were we all not with a woman moments ago? And do I not stand before two men in this present moment?"

His red eyes capered between the two; to Valerian, with hope he would speak sense, and to the elf, seeking aid.

[Link]

Link would point to Triton.

"Exactly. I'm not understanding what you mean friend."

He was... quite perplexed and didn't understand at all what Valerian was talking about.

[Valerian Blackburn]

".....oh my god, you're both completely naive."

Val gives a bit of a chuckle, not mocking, but more out of the fact that now he realizes who he's dealing with.

"Okay. Well first off, what's your preference? You wanna.... uh... mate with girls, or mate with boys?"

[Triton Augustus]

The tide of confusion that rose above him now did not subside. The man spoke of a word: nigh eve? What did this mean?

No matter. He moved on asking of Triton's... preference, which only strengthened the tide.

"I do not mate with either. Their genitalia are not physically mature enough for sexual intercourse. Furthermore, how would I mate with a male, boy or man? I am male myself. I may not be human, but I assure you my reproductive system works as yours does, in that I am only able to procreate with a female."

This man was beginning to be quite child-like, clearly unknowing of how to mate.

[Link]

Link would take a step away from Triton. He was a little... weird. Then he would look at Val.

"Oh! Well, not to put it as awkwardly as Triton, I also assumed one could only mate with one of the opposite sex. Though, I've only ever known my family so I've never considered having sex before."

[Valerian Blackburn]

Val opens his mouth to respond to Triton, then closes it.

Nope. He will not fall for it this time. No sir.

"So women for both. Gotcha."

Hey. It wasn't their fault that they're a little limited in their options.

"That's fine. I bet I can find both of you a nice woman. Or a bad one, eh?"

He elbows Link with a wink.

[Triton Augustus]

Why did this man feel responsible for seeking out a sexual partner for Triton?

"I do not know why you offer to the elf a woman in poor condition, but I must say that I have no interest in either. I am not of character to be a caretaker of children. It seems, however, that you are adept in finding women, both of greatness and of quality lacking. So come the time I am seeking to partake in sexual intercourse, I shall contact you, friend!"

A cheerful smile graced his face as he struck Valerian's shoulder in assurance twice and shook.

[Link]

Link would turn beat red and for the first time go completely silent!

[Valerian Blackburn]

Oh thank god. At least Triton kind of... understood? Ish?

Close enough.

"Whenever you want, bud. I find it relaxing, so if you're in the mood, I can help you out."

Val winks at the blue guy, before looking at Link.

"...eh? What's wrong, kiddo? Something giving you... feelings?"

He grins at him, clearly teasing.

[Triton Augustus]

With the hue that glowed the stars that adorned the sea floor, crimson washed over the elf's expression. Curious.

"Elvin friend, what comes over you? Do your lungs fail you?"

Wait, could it be..

"Or doth our speak of sexual intercourse stir arousal within you?"

Triton's eyes would seek for other manifestations that would forth come upon such excitation.